I walked into the lounge and sighed.
My brother, Mabon, was busy in one corner, producing his latest song, seemingly tweaking things on the electronic musical instruments with his headphones on. One of our best friends, Stoyan, was sitting in another corner, editing the latest video for his channel. Our other best friend, Gene, was working frantically in another corner, trying to complete a university assessment he had forgotten about until he realised the due date was tomorrow.
Fine. It looked like I was the only one free to make dinner. Again. Even though I was the only one currently working a proper job and paying all the rent and bills, somehow, when it came to housework, I was the one who had to do everything. Although I had just finished a long day at work and was tired, I still had to do all the chores.
Did none of these guys even consider how difficult it was for me as well? They could at least help take out the garbage, cook a bit and help out a bit around the house. They could get part time jobs. Just because I was the only one with a job did not mean that everything in the apartment was also my job.
With another deep and heavy sigh, I plodded to my bedroom, dropped my bag in a corner and changed into house clothes. I washed my hands in preparation for making dinner and opening the fridge, heaved another sigh. You can't cook without ingredients.
I had a look in the freezer. Hmm. The loaf of three year old bread it was. We didn't have the money to buy take out and the pantry only contained half a bag of flour and crumbs.
At least we had bread. I guess.
How could I use the bread to make something the boys would think was a substantial meal? Could I be bothered?
Nah.
Toast for dinner it was.
Let them toast their own bread. I was too tired. It wasn't like I was their nanny.
Minutes later, smelling the toasted bread, the boys drifted into the kitchen to find me nibbling on plain buttered toast, nursing a cup of tea and drifting off.
"That's all we've got for dinner?" my brother asked.
The boys all eyes the loaf of three year old frozen bread with disdain.
I shrugged. I couldn't be bothered answering them.
They searched the fridge, freezer and pantry just as I had and then came back to stare at the old loaf of thawing bread.
"We can't order takeaway?" Gene asked in a hesitant voice.
I made a gesture for money at him and he wrinkled his face up.
"Can't we at least have something fresh?" Stoyan grimaced.
In reply, I pointed at the half a bag of flour in the empty pantry. I finished up my toast, drank my tea and washed it.
"Sis, we really don't have any money?" Mabon pleaded.
I pulled all the bills pinned up on the fridge door and placed them in his hands, patting his hands. And then I went to shower and drop into bed.
My alarm went off early in the morning and I smothered a groan, rolling out of the bed I had to share with my brother. He muttered something unintelligible and went back to sleep.
There were only two bedrooms in the apartment. There was one toilet and one bathroom. Our friends shared one bedroom and so my brother and I had to share the other. The bedroom was small and couldn't fit two beds. And so, my brother and I had to share the double bed. It was awkward, but it was the best we could do. Otherwise one of us would have to sleep on the floor with a sleeping bag.
We had taken turns, trying it and decided it was much warmer and more comfortable to share the bed. Thankfully, neither my brother nor I had too many bad sleeping habits. Having grown up together and relying so closely on each other, we weren't too fussy. As long as we could get by, all was well.
Even so, I wondered why my elder brother still hadn't been able to find a proper job. His songs didn't sell very well. It wasn't easy to write and sell songs. I didn't want to ruin his dream, but things were getting bad. I was only just managing to cover the rent and bills. Money for food and other small things had to be scraped up.
Stoyan was staying with us because... well, I don't know. He turned up one day with all his stuff and we didn't ask. Just made space for him. His video channel sometimes made a little money and so he sometimes contributed a little to the food or buying things we needed.
Gene came to stay because of his family situation. He couldn't stay home anymore and had to get out. He was also in his final year of university. Some nights he could be seen pulling his hair out from the immense amount of stress he was under. He worked part time, but all his money went toward paying his course fees. Only a very small amount could be used to help out here at home.
So it wasn't that the boys didn't want to do anything. We were all in this together. It was just that sometimes, I wished things weren't so difficult. And that they would at least help out around the house a little more.
I went to work on an empty stomach and tried not to let it growl too loudly during the day when I smelled the the lunches the others had brought or bought downstairs. At least there was free tea, coffee and cookies in the break room.
"It's our department's turn for the yearly free health checkup this afternoon," our department manager reminded us during the lunch huddle. "You'll all be called to Interview Room 4 one by one to get general blood tests done. If you have anything to report to the nurse, you can do so then. She'll arrange for an appointment with the local GP if needed."
We all nodded and my department manager glanced at me and my cup of tea for a moment longer than usual. I didn't know what that was about, but I shrugged it off. I was only called for my turn in the last fifteen minutes of the day when the sun was preparing to set outside.
Seeing as I wouldn't get any meaningful work done after the checkup, I half packed up before heading over to Interview Room 4.
In the room, the friendly nurse introduced herself, asked a few questions, did a basic checkup, and took some blood. She shooed me off to also get a urine sample. When it was done, I returned to my desk to finish packing up for the day and prepare any materials for tomorrow.
Something happened.
I woke up to find myself in a hospital bed with my worried brother, our friends and my stressed looking department manager. All their wrinkled faces seemed to relax the moment my eyes opened.
What was going on?
"Holly, I'm so sorry," my brother, Mabon, hugged me with relief, wiping his red eyes. "I didn't notice. I promise, I'll find a job. I'll take better care of you. I won't let you work yourself so hard anymore."
"We'll help out with chores at home," Stoyan and Gene promised. "We'll work harder."
"We can't skimp on food to pay the bills anymore," Mabon combed my hair back from my face for me. "You have to take better care of yourself. Look what you've done to yourself."
I could only blink at them in tired confusion. What was going on? Couldn't anyone explain to me?
"Take a few days off?" my department manager told me, wiping the sweat from his forehead. "Come back when you're better? I'm glad you're finally going to get the help you need? I have to go? Since you're awake and you're alright now, and your brother is here to take care of you, I'm going to head off home?"
The fact my manager was speaking statements as questions just went to show how unnerved and stressed he was by my collapse.
"Thank you," I managed to say before the boys interrupted me with accusations of not looking after myself, or comments of self-blame.
Eventually, a nurse and doctor bustled over, interrupting the boys. The nurse helped me to the toilet and only when she was sure I was steady on my feet did she leave me alone.
Hospital. How was I going to pay for these medical fees even with the government medical rebate that was available? I looked at my pale face in the mirror and the dark bags under my eyes, heaving a sigh. I looked really tired and unwell.
I didn't want to face reality, but who else was going to deal with this mess if not me? But I really didn't want to think of anything right now. I just wanted to lie down and sleep.
When I got back to my curtained cubicle, I heard the doctor and nurse interrogating the boys about our financial situation and who did what at home. In the end, they chewed the boys out for not helping and making me do all the work.
"You're all grown up men now, not children still living with your parents," the doctor scolded. "Step up and take more responsibility otherwise you'll drive your sister to an early grave. You're her older brother. Buck up and be a man. What are you doing living off your younger sister's sacrifices?"
I only re-entered the cubicle when it sounded like the much needed scolding had settled down.
"Eat more, get some rest and do some gentle exercise," the doctor told me in a kind voice. "Don't take any nonsense from your brother and his friends. If you're all living together, everyone has to play their part and not get caught up in their own dramas, forgetting about the others they are living with. I strongly recommend you charge them all rent and organise a chore schedule."
I blinked at the doctor and allowed a genuine smile to sweep across my face.
"Thank you," I told the doctor with all sincerity.
"Have your family doctor follow up in a week. If I see you back here in the hospital with the same problem in the future, I'll give you the scolding I'm sure you deserve then," the doctor told me with a gleam in his eyes. "You can go home when you're ready."
My brother held me by the arm, as if I were a fragile little thing that might get blown down by the wind. He seemed agitated and quiet, but thankfully, he didn't say too much. He drove us all home, everyone silent, immersed in their own thoughts.
When we got back, we discovered another of our friends standing at the front door with a multitude of bags and things, waiting for us.
"Pwyll?" Gene bounded over to look the man over while Stoyan opened the front door for us. "What are you doing here? What's with all the stuff?"
"My landlord kicked me out because the owner wanted the apartment back. It was really short notice and I couldn't find anywhere to stay. Will you guys take me in for a few days? Please?" Pwyll combed back his hair with his hands, a stressed and harried look on his face. "I've got nowhere else I can go for the moment. I'll pay rent. It's just until I find a place to stay. I won't freeload."
"Come on in," I sighed, waving a hand at him and shaking my brother off. "Bro, help him bring all his stuff in. We can't clutter up the hallway. Pwyll, I hope you don't mind sleeping on the sofa."
"The sofa is good. The sofa is fine," Pwyll perked up and smiled at me. "Thanks, Holly. Thank you so much. I promise you'll only have to put up with me for a few days and then I'll get out of your hair."
Half an hour later, Pwyll's stuff had been crammed into whatever space we could find in the lounge, making it feel cramped. I cringed at the feeling of the walls shrinking down around me, only to find myself wrapped in Mabon's arms and quickly ushered off to bed.
Lying in bed, I looked at the dark ceiling and listened to the sudden silence in the kitchen when Pwyll took in the state of our empty kitchen.
"How are any of you guys still alive?" Pwyll asked after a moment. "No wonder Holly was looking so sick and Mabon was being so nice to her. What's wrong with you guys? There are three of you. The three of you can't even look after one girl? Our most precious girl. Do any of you deserve to be called men?"
There was an awkward silence and a shuffling. Mabon coughed.
"When was the last time you all had a proper meal?" Pwyll asked in a softer tone. "Scratch that. When was the last time Holly had a proper meal?"
There was another round of shuffling and coughing.
"Seriously. You guys. Did you even consider us friends? Why did none of you tell me how bad things had gotten? I'd have helped out earlier if I knew all three of you were such losers. Alright. Alright. Stop looking at me like that. I'll order takeaway. What do you guys want?"
And then there was a cacophony of noise while the boys all started shouting with excitement.
"Alright. Alright. I got it. What about Holly?" Pwyll asked.
There was a short silence.
"Order something easily digestible for her," Mabon said and his voice wobbled. "I don't think I've seen her eat properly for a while. She always just nibbled something and said she'd already eaten while she was cooking and was full."
"And you call yourself her brother," Pwyll scoffed. "I feel ashamed for you. What do you think we should get for her then?"
The boys debated, voices talking one over the other and I fell asleep listening to them argue over what would be easier on my stomach but still tasty.
It seemed like only a moment later that I was being shaken awake by Mabon to get up and eat with them. He helped me stumble to the toilet with his lips pressed tight into a thin line. When I came out, I saw him peel himself off the wall where he had been waiting to help me walk over to the kitchen. I averted my eyes from the crowded lounge as we passed it, to sit at my seat at the kitchen table that seemed to be overflowing with takeaway boxes.
The wonderful smell of hot food filled the air and made me feel faint for a moment. My stomach churned with anticipation.
Mabon's eyes filled with tears when he saw my hand trembling when I tried to feed myself but couldn't lift the spoon up properly. Pwyll shook him away and helped me bring the spoon up to my mouth. After a few mouthfuls, the shakes went away and I could eat by myself.
It was only then that I realised how silent the place was. I lifted my eyes to look at all the boys eating silently and crying into their food. My eyes met Pwyll's red ones.
"Eat more," he urged me. "Eat as much as you want. I might not have a place to stay at the moment, but I at least have enough money to ensure you don't need to starve yourself to feed these three leeches. After I come home from work tomorrow, we'll all go out to the shopping centre and buy groceries. We'll stock up the fridge and pantry. I've ordered extra food tonight so that you'll all at least have something to eat for breakfast and lunch tomorrow."
Now it was my turn for my eyes to fill up as my heart felt like it had been stuffed full of his warmth and care.
Pwyll combed my messy bed hair back with his hands.
"I'd go tonight, but I'm too tired after all the moving and stressing over whether to crash at your place. So put up with it a little more. You stay home tomorrow. Don't go to work. Have a good rest. It looks like you need it."
I ate slowly, unable to eat quickly for fear of choking. The other boys eventually gravitated over to the lounge and turned on the TV to find a movie they all liked. Pwyll and Mabon bundled me over, sandwiching me between them on the couch where they fed me snacks that had been delivered to the front door. They covered me with my blanket and let me lean against them, drifting off in warm comfort while the movie continued.
I woke up during the night to find myself back in my bed, with Mabon hugging me tightly and seeming to have been crying in his sleep. My shoulder was drenched with his tears, making me feel cold. Pushing him away with disgust, I rolled over, only to find myself face to face with Pwyll, who hugged me to him. I blinked with shock and then rolled back over to poke Mabon.
"Bro, what's Pwyll doing in our bed?"
"You wouldn't let him go when he carried you back to bed. You've missed him a lot, haven't you? Since I'm here, I decided to just let him sleep with us," Mabon muttered. "He's too big to fit on the couch anyway. Go back to sleep," he said, hugging me and patting my back like he used to do when I was little. "You need more rest."
I felt Pwyll shuffle over, searching for something. And then used as a pillow by two big men, I was left to stare at the ceiling with exasperation. It was like being roasted by two big heaters on either side. Although it might be nice in winter, the weather was still too warm for this.
Besides, while our group of friends used to all sleep in one big pile on the same bed when we were young, it wasn't the same now that we were all grown up. It was awkward and crowded.
Possibly due to the discomfort, when I finally managed to fall asleep again, I fell into the old nightmare I hadn't had for a while. The same nightmare where we had all been kidnapped and crammed into a small container. All us drugged and crying kids together. The air had gone stale and was turning stinky, especially since some of the kids hadn't been able to control their bladders and had wet themselves. I had been awake, watching the dark walls seeming to be closing in on us.
Rough hands had snatched me out of the crush, sorting us kids out as if we were just little puppies. I had seen my brother's sleeping, oblivious face when he had been separated from me. I had kicked and screamed, only to be heavily beaten. Pwyll, Gene and Stoyan had been there too, but like my brother, their faces had been too pale. Too still. Barely breathing.
Despite the beating, I continued fighting. Fighting not to be separated from them. Fighting to break free from the merciless grip and pain. It was my screaming that had alerted people passing by the area to call the police. By the time they arrived, I had almost been beaten to death, only able to stare at them silently through a swollen face and bruised body, struggling to breathe. Unable to make a sound, but still struggling to reach my brother.
All us kids had been taken to a place to live together. It was where our group of friends had formed our tight bonds of friendship before our parents had been found to take us all home a few at a time. It was also where my brother and I found out that the people who had kidnapped us had killed our parents. Our parents had spotted us being taken and had chased after the human traffickers.
After that, my brother and I had been taken care of by the other families whose children had been kidnapped along with us. Because of that event, all their families had taken turns taking care of us and bringing us up. But we weren't their children and after a while, they found us too burdensome.
And so I had dropped out of school to find work and support my brother's studies. And then after a fight at school, my brother had dropped out as well, deciding to pursue his dream in songwriting, working part time in small jobs. After living on the streets for a few months, we finally managed to scrape together enough money from our respective jobs to rent this apartment.
But rather than leaving the traumatic events behind to continue in the way events had happened in real life, I kept dreaming of escaping, only to be caught and beaten again. I dreamed of my brother and our friends being overdosed on those drugs and dying before the police found us. I dreamed that the police didn't come at all and could only watch helplessly when my brother and my friends were being sorted and taken away.
"Holly, wake up. Wake up," Mabon shook me awake. "Wake up. It's just a dream. Just a nightmare. It's ok. We're here. I'm here. We're all still here. We're all safe. It's ok. Shh. It's ok."
I heard the sleepy and concerned voices of all the other boys. It seemed that my screaming had woken them all up.
"Holly, we're here. We're all here. We're safe. It's ok now," I heard Pwyll, Gene and Stoyan all say. They all crowded onto the bed to hug and hold me. "Nobody died. We're all here."
I hugged Mabon while he patted my back soothingly, hugging me back.
"Shh," he told me. "We're ok. You're ok. Go back to sleep."
I felt all the hands patting me and feeling reassured, slowly drifted off into a fitful sleep, hicupping every now and then.
Morning arrived with the scent of breakfast, the groans of boys not wanting to wake up and Gene leaping out of the bed, yelping that he was late for class. Pwyll had already left for work. Stoyan got up to eat and then return to his own bed for a longer sleep.
My brother hugged and stroked my back, allowing me to wake up slowly.
"How are you feeling today?" he asked me. "Better?"
I nodded and buried my face in his chest for a little longer, enjoying this type of reassuring embrace that I hadn't received from him for a few years.
"Let's get up. Let's eat while the food is still hot. And then you can shower. After that, if you want, you can go back to sleep."
I nodded, staying in his embrace a little longer before reluctantly getting up. For the first time in ages, my brother brushed and tied my hair up for me. He washed my face for me and led me to the kitchen table, preparing my morning tea and reheating my food for me.
After breakfast, he indulgently allowed me to order him around to clean up the house and change the bedsheets while I had a shower. He wouldn't let me help him with any of the cleaning up, but let me sit and direct him. Seeing how I seemed to avoid the crowded lounge, he put me back into a clean bed, placing a book in my hands.
I drowsed, napping on and off through the day, not even getting past the first page of the book in my lap. Instead, I listened to the sounds of Mabon and Stoyan vacuuming, mopping and going to and from the coin laundry downstairs.
I wasn't awake when Pwyll got home, but I did wake up when the boys returned from the shopping centre with all the groceries. I was told to sit at the kitchen and do nothing but direct and order people around. They packed things away, feeding me fruit and nuts that Pwyll had bought for snacks.
Gene and Mabon cooked dinner, while Pwyll dropped onto the couch. It seemed like he was watching TV, but in reality, he had fallen asleep. I crept over to cover him with a blanket, only to be pulled into his arms to lie with him. He covered us both with the blanket and I let him hug me while I watched TV and he napped.
Mabon called us for dinner, glaring at Pwyll when he realised I had been lying in Pwyll's arms on the couch. Pwyll had grinned at him, making him scowl.
"Don't let that shameless guy take advantage of you, Sis," Mabon told me with a deep frown.
"You were right there in the kitchen. What could I have done to your little sister in the open lounge where anybody could see us?" Pwyll asked shamelessly, pulling me into his arms again only for Mabon to yank me away and sit me in my seat.
I grinned up at my brother and he flicked me on the forehead.
"Don't try me," he warned me. "I'm not letting anyone take advantage of my little sister. Especially while you're not feeling well."
"And you letting her run herself ragged for you isn't taking advantage of her?" Pwyll asked in a mild tone, but that one question made everyone fall silent. "I've told you before, Mabon. If you can't take care of her properly, I'll take her away. You're old enough to look after yourself now."
I held my breath.
Stoyan coughed.
Gene started serving the food, scooping the same portions into everyone's bowls.
"Eat. Eat before it gets cold," Gene said, clattering bowls and plates. "Holly, have some soup first."
Only after Gene's urging did the heavy tension and clashing of wills between my brother and Pwyll ease off. I didn't have much appetite, but the boys all coaxed and teased me until they were happy with the amount I had eaten. I, feeling queasy, ended up leaving my brother and Pwyll to continue arguing, while I went to the toilet where I threw up all my dinner. After finishing throwing up, I barely managed to stagger to my feet before Mabon burst into the bathroom. He held my hair out of the way while I rinsed my mouth out.
The boys mixed an electrolyte drink for me and tried to get me to eat more but it kept coming back up. Pwyll put the back of his hand to my forehead.
"She has a fever."
The boys freaked out.
In the middle of the night, I was suddenly woken up to be bundled in a coat and carried to the car. In the emergency room of the hospital, I leaned against Mabon's chest, dipping in and out of sleep. Unable to fully wake up properly. I didn't even remember being carried onto a bed.
I woke to the same emergency doctor as last time talking to the boys and asking what had happened since I had left the hospital. Lethargically, I tried to wake up to answer questions but kept dropping off at the wrong moments.
At some point, I felt the bed moving and panicked.
"It's alright," Mabon soothed me, holding my hand. "They're just taking you to the Short Stay Ward. They want to keep an eye on you for a bit."
"Oh," I sighed in relief.
"You can go back to sleep if you're tired," my brother told me.
"Oh," I nodded and obediently went back to bed.
Two days later, I woke up feeling much better. The boys had received a crash course on taking care of me and Mabon had informed my workplace that my leave would need to be extended, sending them a copy of my newest medical certificate.
The next few days, I didn't need to do anything. None of the boys would let me. During the day, I was allowed to do as I pleased, while one of the boys - whoever was free at the time - would follow me as I wandered around or ordered them to clean up at home. I had no pressure or stress. I didn't even have to cook or clean. It was awesome.
On the weekend, we all went out with Pwyll to look at a few houses and apartments until he finally settled on a place he liked the look of. To our surprise, rather than renting, Pwyll bought the apartment. The boys all crowded around Pwyll, buttering him up. Next weekend, we would all help Pwyll with the move.
Finally, my lounge would be free of clutter and I would no longer need to feel claustrophobic in my own place anymore.
Not that I had minded having Pwyll around. But that crowded and cluttered lounge had made me feel like it was hard to breathe. Like I was being suffocated in my own home.
Now that I was feeling a lot better, I returned to work after the weekend. My colleagues kept mentioning how much better I was looking. The department manager looked relieved to see that I was ok.
"Let me know if there's anything we can do of if you need help with anything," he told me quietly after our lunch huddle one day.
"Sure," I had beamed at him. "Thank you."
But with my return to work, slowly, the complacency of the other boys at home began to drift back into place. It made Pwyll frown and after a few arguments, he stopped saying anything much anymore.
"Holly likes doing housework and all that stuff," Mabon waved Pwyll off. "Don't worry about it."
"You can at least pick up your own dirty clothes from the ground and do your own laundry," Pwyll ground his teeth.
"But Holly doesn't mind, do you, Holly?" my brother said, going back to his instruments and computer. "She's a lot better now. Stop interfering, Pwyll."
Pwyll pulled me into the bedroom I shared with my brother.
"This place is under your brother's name, right?" Pwyll asked me and I nodded. "My new apartment has a room reserved for you," Pwyll said. "You can move in with me. Your brother doesn't know how to look after you properly. He doesn't realise how much he's relying on you or how much pressure he's putting on you in order to maintain his own comfortable lifestyle."
I stared at Pwyll in the dim light, feeling conflicted.
"Move in with me. You won't be underappreciated and I won't take you and your hard work for granted. If you prefer, I'll marry you. It'll give you the excuse to get out from under your brother's thumb. Come with me and you won't have to stretch your pay to cover three grown men who won't take responsibility for their own lives."
"They're working very hard," I pointed out. "They're all struggling. Especially Gene."
"They're all refusing to look at reality in the face. Besides Gene, Mabon and Stoyan don't have an excuse for the way they treat you. Gene's the exception," Pwyll agreed. "He does need help. But the other two need to wake up and get proper jobs. They can't just keep relying on you. Are they expecting you to keep being their housekeeper even after you've gotten married? No way I'm letting that happen."
"Who would I even marry?" I gave a little laugh.
"Me," said Pwyll. "You'll marry me."
I paused. Looking at this man with fresh eyes. I had felt that he always treated me a little different, but had assumed his jokes of falling in love and getting married or taking me away were all jokes. Had they been hints and not jokes?
"I'm not joking," Pwyll said, taking my hands in his. "I love you. Always have. Always will. I want to marry you. Please, Holly, will you marry me? Will you be my wife?"
Uhh...
I didn't know what to say.
If I left, what would happen to my brother? How would he pay the rent?
"Come with me. I can afford to send you back to school. You can finish your studies and pursue your own dreams, rather than being stuck trying to make your brother's dream come true."
I took a deep breath.
"Look, Pwyll, we have to be practical here," I said. "If I leave, what happens to this place? What about Gene? How will my brother support Stoyan and Gene?"
"You're too nice, Holly," Pwyll groaned, pulling me close and hugging me. His breath made the skin on my neck ripple with a ticklish sensation. "You let everybody walk all over you."
"No, I don't."
"Yes, you do," Pwyll insisted.
He put a hand behind my head, hesitated and then kissed me. I closed my eyes to the gentle sensation and the feeling of fireworks going off in my head.
I stared at him in a daze, surprised but not at all disgusted that he had kissed me. It had been a rather pleasurable experience.
"See. I forcibly kiss you without consent and you don't even struggle. You just accept it without a sound," Pwyll said, his breath heavy. "Does this mean you like me too?"
He pulled me in for another kiss, while I tried to think. Did I like him? I know I always missed him and his care for me when he wasn't around, but did that mean that I loved him? My brother seemed to think I liked Pwyll as well. He always behaved all jealous when I spent any meaningful time with Pwyll.
While I was trying to think and decide whether I really liked Pwyll in a romantic manner or not, he had gone from chaste kisses and nibbling or sucking on my lips to sweeping into my mouth and conquering my tongue with his. I clung to him, finding it hard to breath. My legs seemed to have gone weak.
Suddenly, the bedroom door burst open and the room light was turned on. With big strides, Mabon ripped me out of Pwyll's arms.
"How dare you?" my brother roared at Pwyll, supporting me when he felt how unsteady I seemed to be on my feet.
"I'm going to marry her," Pwyll announced to my brother and our stunned friends peering in from the doorway, making them all gasp. "Holly is going to be my wife."
"No way!" my brother hugged me tighter and I struggled in his arms as they tightened painfully around me. "In your dreams, Pwyll. Holly is mine."
"Of course she's yours," Pwyll said, reaching out his arms. "She's your sister. She'll always be your sister. But she's going to be my wife."
"Foster sister," Mabon snapped. "She's my foster sister. We aren't blood related."
I and our friends all stiffened with shock, looking at Mabon with wide eyes.
I wasn't his biological sister? Since when? Why did I not know about this?
Tears welled up in my eyes but before I could ask for clarification, Mabon kissed me. Immediate disgust and nausea arose in me. This was my brother. My own brother who had always taken care of me.
I struggled and fought him, but couldn't break free, while my brother kissed me deeply, his tongue wrestling mine into submission. I wanted to stop him and to bite him but I didn't dare. I couldn't bring myself to hurt him.
Only when I started retching did he let go of me with some worry.
"Holly, are you ok?"
Pushing him free, I ran stumbling to the toilet where I threw up my dinner. The boys gathered around me in concern when I couldn't stop throwing up, even when I was only bringing up bile.
I found myself back in the hospital with the emergency doctor glaring at us all. I glanced up at the drip.
"Well? Anyone want to explain to me what happened this time? What happened that triggered such an extreme stress response in your sister? Didn't I tell you last time that her health is a bit fragile? That you shouldn't expose her to extreme stress?"
"Mabon said that she wasn't his biological sister. That they were foster siblings and that she belonged to him. And then he kissed her, although she obviously didn't want to or even like it. After that, she threw up and wasn't able to stop until we brought her into the hospital."
The doctor took a few deep breaths, his fiery glare seeming to want to pierce through Mabon.
"You say she's not your biological sibling?" the doctor asked in a strained voice, as if he was struggling to stay calm and keep his temper. "Would you mind if we did a genetic test on the two of you?"
After a long moment, Mabon nodded. Their gazes drifted over to me and I also nodded, holding out my hand.
"I can't tell you how wrong you are to treat your sister, biological or not the way you have," the emergency doctor said to Mabon, still in that strained voice. "Please excuse me a moment while I go and get that genetic test organised. The test will take between 8-12 hours. Just nice that I would like to keep Holly overnight for observation. In the meantime, might I recommend you gentlemen all go home and give your sister some space? She must be feeling very upset and stressed right now. She will probably want some time and space to herself for a bit."
Gazes drifted back to me and I nodded in agreement.
"Go home," I told them in my hoarse voice. "Please."
One by one, the boys came to give me a hug and say goodnight. Mabon looked at me doubtfully but reluctantly agreed to go when I reassured him that I did indeed want some time to myself.
Pwyll was the last to give me a goodnight hug.
"When I move my stuff over to my new place, I'll take your things with me, ok?" he asked. "Do you want to move out with me?"
Refusing to look at Mobon, I nodded in agreement. A relieved smile spread across Pwyll's face and the doctor listened in silence.
"Let's get married, ok?" Pwyll asked me again.
I looked down at my hands and nodded again.
"Don't go making big life decisions on a whim," the doctor warned. "Especially not after finding out such big news and feeling emotional. Wait until your emotions have calmed down and you are feeling well before you make such decisions. And you, young man, don't push or coerce her."
Pwyll swallowed under the doctor's glare.
"Alright," he said in a small voice. "Alright. Whenever she's ready, she makes the decision." Pwyll looked at me with a small smile. "You don't have to answer now about getting married. But I'll move your stuff over first so that you can have some distance from Mabon. You'll have your own bedroom
Your own bed. Your own wardrobe. If you want to go back to school, you can. Ok?"
I nodded.
"Alright, young men. Go home and get some sleep before the night gets any later," the doctor sighed. "After the swab has been taken."
The doctor left and a nurse returned to swab the inside of our mouths. And then the boys all gave me another hug, before leaving for the night.
I woke during the night with another strong nightmare, which had the doctor and nurses concerned until I calmed down enough to explain that I had been kidnapped as a child. And explained that all the boys were kids who had been kidnapped together at the same time, and we had stuck together growing up. That calmed the medical staff down enough to understand that I wasn't being abused at home.
The results of the DNA test returned by the time I was finishing my breakfast and Moban and the others were coming in. It looked like Pwyll had taken some time off, because he had come in with them.
"You two are not foster siblings. You are biological siblings born to the same parents," the doctor told Moban and me.
So he was still my own idiot brother after all.
Moban paled and looked sick. Pwyll punched him angrily, but not hard.
"No violence in the hospital," the doctor warned, "or you'll be removed."
"I'm sorry," Pwyll apologised. "It won't happen again."
He glared at Moban who sank down onto his haunches and then scrambled over to me, crying.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," Moban grabbed my hand without the needle in it. Thankfully. "I didn't know. I thought... But then... I don't understand... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Holly."
I looked up at the ceiling, wiping my eyes and then heaved a sigh.
"Bro, I'm moving to Pwyll's place when I'm discharged. We need some space from each other," I told him in a low voice.
"No! Pwyll has bad intentions. You can't. He's going to..."
"Bro, I'm going to fall in love and get married some day. You're going to have to let me go eventually," I stroked his head. "You already know all this. And Pwyll is nice. I like him. He's always taken good care of me. We all grew up together and you know him. I think I'll be happy if I'm with him."
There was a muffled commotion from where Pwyll was standing and it sounded like someone had stuffed something in Pwyll's mouth and restrained him before he could get any closer.
"Young lady, didn't I tell you not to make any big life decisions until you're better?" the doctor said to me with a thinning of his lips.
"You did. I won't make any big decisions," I nodded, "but I'm too scared to share the bed with my brother anymore right now. It's better if I move to Pwyll's new place for now. At least I'll have my own bed and room."
"You two - share a bed?" the doctor choked.
"Yeah. Not enough beds and rooms for everyone," I told him. "Those two share one bed and we two share the other. It's just lying down and sleeping. It's not like when we were kids and there were like fifteen of us piled in the one bed."
"Fifteen?"
"We spent quite a lot of time together," I explained to the flabbergasted doctor and nurses. "After we were kidnapped, we were scared to sleep by ourselves in our own homes for a while, so we'd take turns visiting everyone's houses and all squeeze into the same bed."
"I see," the doctor rubbed his forehead. "I don't want to tell you how to do things, but you're all grown up now. You're all adults. Although the peer support is important, even if you still have nightmares, you all need to learn to live independently from each other."
"Exactly," Pwyll agreed. "See, Moban? Even the doctor says so."
"Fine," Moban glared at us and sobbed a few times. "Have it your way."
And he ran out of the ward.
There was a moment of silence and the doctor looked down at his notes, seeming to be thinking of something and trying to figure out how to say it.
"Umm, Holly," Gene put his hand up. "If you go, who's going to pay our rent and the bills? Who's going to do the cooking and cleaning?"
"Holly has really spoiled you lot," Pwyll sneered. "What, you guys don't have your own hands and feet? Other people can work and study and survive but you have to suck Holly dry? Is that it?"
Gene quailed.
"I'll help," Pwyll bit out. "For two months. Two months is my limit. I'll help you guys pay the bills and rent. Stoyan, you and Moban have to get proper jobs. It's been years and you guys are still struggling like this. You have to be realistic. It's time to move on. You can still do your stuff on the side, but none of you are relying on Holly anymore. Two months. If you three guys living together can't handle yourselves, I'll cut you off. Understand? And you aren't asking Holly for money anymore. She's not allowed to help and you can't guilt trip her into helping."
Stoyan balked and there was a noise from the door. Looking over, Moban was standing there with his forehead resting on the wall.
"Gene, you're in your final year of university. I'll help with your fees a bit, but you have to pay me back. Get your head screwed on straight and don't expect other people to help out with cooking and cleaning. Everyone should be doing the cooking and cleaning. Cleaning up after yourself is what all adults do. You're an adult. Not a kid."
"Fine," Gene replied gloomily, looking at me from below lowered lids.
"It's good that you've sorted that out," the doctor cleared his throat, "but uh, we had some unexpected test results. We had some markers possibly indicating that Holly is pregnant. Might any of you know who the father is?"
I almost fell out of bed with surprise and Pwyll fumbled to stabilise me.
All eyes turned on me and Moban's look made me shiver with fear.
"What? No way," I quavered. "I haven't even done any of that kind of stuff with anybody. Really. Bro, don't look at me like that. I really didn't. I haven't had time. You're the one who sleeps next to me. You know where I am all the time."
"Moban, you better not have," Pwyll stepped in front of me to block me from Moban's view.
All eyes swivelled to look at Moban.
He shuddered.
"Not me. I didn't. Not to my own sister."
"Oh?" Pwyll asked with a teasing note.
"Really," Moban said, entering the room and waving his hands. "Really didn't."
All eyes turned back to me and I covered my face with my hands, feeling myself turning red.
"I haven't been with a guy before. Never even kissed one until last night," I said, looking at Pwyll and then at my own brother for a long moment, feeling slightly nauseous again. "Might never kiss one again."
"Fair enough," Pwyll said, staring at Moban. "If such a thing happened to me, I might feel the same."
"There is a possibility that it's an error," the doctor pursed his lips. "The levels here are a bit unclear. Shall we do another blood test then?"
"Please," the boys and I all said in unison.
That made a wry grin flash across the doctor's face.
"Alright. Nurse, draw more blood for another test. It'll be good for you, Holly, to stay and rest for a little longer as well. If there's nothing wrong by the end of today, you can be discharged and go home."
I nodded.
The doctor nodded at the nurse who went to get what was needed for the blood test. The nurse cheerfully shooed the boys out when she was taking the blood and whispered.
"Is there really absolutely no chance that you're pregnant?"
I nodded emphatically.
"I really haven't been with a guy before. Even if I sleep in the same bed as my brother, we don't even hug. We both stay on our own sides of the bed. I usually go to work and then come straight home to do the cooking and chores and go to bed. I don't go anywhere and haven't even met anybody for the past year, let alone the past month. It's got to be wrong."
"Then it's possibly just a mistake in the lab. It happens sometimes," the nurse reassured me, taking the little kidney dish with the blood vial and syringe away. "The doctor was a bit unsure how to interpret it when it came back."
"If I did get pregnant, my brother would probably kill me," I said. "And then he and the others would go hunt down the person who knocked me up."
"He sounds very protective," the nurse smiled.
"He is," I agreed, "but it's also probably partly guilt that I'm always the one taking care of him rather than the other way around. It'll be nice to get away from him and his demands for a bit when I move to Pwyll's place."
"Hope it's a good move then," the nurse smiled and left the cubicle, allowing the boys to crowd back in.
"Out with it," my brother said, sitting by my bed and pointing a finger with me. "Who is he? Let me kill him."
"If there was anyone," I mumbled, grabbing his finger and pulling it down, "it'd be you. You're the only guy that has gotten close enough to do anything to me. Oh. And Pwyll the other night, but there's no chance it was him that night."
"No way it's me," Moban declared righteously. "If I did anything to you, you would have known."
"Exactly," I pointed his finger back at him. "So I can't be pregnant."
"Do you think we could ask a nurse to check if you're still, you know, down there?" Gene asked.
Stoyan smacked him on the head.
"She lost that thing when she was a kid. After she got beaten up so hard she was bleeding everywhere. I remember my parents talked about it at the time one night when they thought I was in bed."
The boys fell silent and crowded around me.
"It's alright, guys," I said, trying to push them away when I felt smothered in their group embrace. "Get off. I can't breathe."
"Anyway, even if she did get pregnant, we'd all look after her anyway," Stoyan said, finally breaking his usual stoic silence. "Right? Whether we know who the father is or not. It'd still be our kid."
"Then you'd need to get a proper paying job," Pwyll said. "You and Moban have 2 months, remember? And you all still need to help me finish moving house today."
"Bossy boots," Stoyan muttered under his breath.
"Come on. Let's all go and help Pwyll move out. The sooner he's properly gone the better," Moban said, stroking my cheek, despite my flapping to get him to stop it. "Let Holly have a proper rest."
"I'm moving too," I reminded Moban, who stopped and glared at me, flicking my forehead.
"Ow! Bro!"
I held my forehead and pouted at him with watery eyes.
"You," he began in a low and warning tone only for Pwyll to clear his throat. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Rest up and get better," he said in more normal voice. "We'll talk another time."
And so ushered by Pwyll who left a kiss on my cheek, the boys all left. I lay back down and drowsed for a while.
I only woke up later when the doctor returned with a nurse who gave me a nutrient supplement drink.
"It was a mistake," the doctor told me, making me sigh with relief. "The test came back normal this time. You aren't pregnant."
"Thank you " I said in a faint voice.
"Now, could you please explain your home situation to us before your brother and all your friends return. We want to make sure you are in a safe place and in safe company. From what we've heard so far, we're a bit confused and concerned about letting you go home with any of them."
And so I explained the situation as best as I could, making all the medical staff 'oh' and sigh with relief.
"So long you aren't being forced or coerced into anything," the doctor smiled, and then launched into a lecture about my rights.
"Alright, you can be discharged as soon as they come back to pick you up," the doctor smiled at me. "You're feeling much better, right?"
I nodded.
"Much as I don't mind seeing you, try to stay away from the hospital," the doctor told me. "Do you have a family doctor? I want you to go for a checkup in another week."
I shook my head. Seeing doctors was too expensive.
"Your health is more important than your finances, Holly," the doctor tapped his head at me. "If you keep letting your body get run down like this, you're more likely to end up with a condition that will cost you a lot, lot more in terms of medical fees. Take care of yourself. I have a friend who is a family doctor. I'll send your file to him and ask him to follow up for you. His clinic isn't too far away from your apartment."
"Oh. But I'm moving to Pwyll's place. I don't know where exactly it is," I said.
"I already checked with him," the doctor flapped a hand. "Don't worry. It's still pretty close by to his place. You should be able to walk or take a bus there. Promise me you'll go and take better care of yourself from now on. You don't have to sacrifice yourself for your brother and your friends. They're all grown up. They can fend for themselves."
I sighed but nodded.
"Good," the doctor's smile became more genuine and sincere. "All the best for your future. I'll get started on your paperwork. Make sure you bring it with you to your family doctor appointment. By the way, is this mobile number still correct?"
I rubbed my nose and looked away.
"I don't have a mobile anymore. That's Mabon's phone now."
The doctor took a deep breath.
"I really don't want to meddle, but I don't like the way your brother treats you."
"Me either," I grinned. "He's such a hard headed idiot. Don't worry. Pwyll should be able to keep him in line. Use Pwyll's number for now, since I'll be staying with him. Do you have it?"
"I've got it," the doctor said. "When those boys come back, we're going to take them aside for a little talking to before you go, ok?"
"Please," I made a gesture. "By all means, do drill some sense into them. I'd appreciate it."
"Good," the doctor laughed and then strode off with the nurses, looking much more cheerful.
The boys returned not much later and were taken aside into a meeting room. I didn't want to sit in and listen and so I carefully got properly dressed and sat out in the waiting room. But I still ended up getting called in to be asked who I wanted as my emergency contact and who I was more inclined to be trusted to help me handle my matters. I looked at my nervous brother for a moment before pointing at Pwyll.
"No. Holly!" my brother shouted as if I had just insulted him.
I looked down at my fiddling hands and refused to meet his gaze.
"There we have it," said the doctor, taking a sharp intake of air. "Now we are done. Holly, I already told you everything you need to take care of earlier. You can go home now - or to Pwyll's new apartment."
"Thank you," I nodded to the doctor.
"Don't mention it. Let's hope you're a lot better the next time we cross paths," the doctor waved a goodbye and was followed by the other medical staff who greeted me and also left to return to work.
Pwyll swept me under his arm before Mabon could get to me.
"Your idiot brother refused to let me pack many of your things, but don't worry. We'll buy what you need. No need to worry."
"Sis," said Mabon's warning voice.
"Bro, I'm sorry," I paused but didn't look up at him. "Go home. I'll go with Pwyll and get a good rest. We'll meet and talk another day. Ok? Please?"
"Fine," Mabon bit out and I heard his footsteps stalk away with the other boys.
Pwyll sniffed.
"It takes all sorts to make a world," he commented. "Come on. Let's go eat something and then go home. What do you want to eat?"
"Instant noodles?"
"Holly," Pwyll gave a huffing laugh, poking my forehead with his index finger, "you can aim a little higher. A little more expensive. I do have money, you know and you need to eat more nutritious food to get better faster."
"Uhh..."
My brain was doing a blank on what food there was outside of the empty kitchen at home that could be eaten. I'd almost deleted all the files on what restaurant or takeaway food there was so that I wouldn't be tempted.
I could only stare at Pwyll.
"Ramen it is then," Pwyll sighed, tucking a strand of my loose fringe behind an ear, his eyes looking slightly pained for some reason. "I'm going to flatten you up so much, you won't recognise yourself in a month's time."
I grinned and let him put an arm around my shoulder.
"I'm not a pig."
"If you are, you're my little piggy."
"Urgh, I'm gonna throw up."