I don't want to see Baek Joon-Woo again.
Whenever I see the memories, I feel like I am in heaven. When I wake up, I realize that Eli is my reality.
I don't dislike Eli. I can hold him if I want. I can kiss him and I can whisper sweet nothings in his ear.
But he won't be satisfied with that.
Though he's a ghoul, his desires are quite human.
Humans are never satisfied if they can't have it all. A part of them will always long for love.
Do I not want to love him? I can't find any space in my heart. Yesterday keeps whispering in my ears while present wants my heart.
Why do I search for Baek Joon-Woo whenever I wake up from the dream? Where is this guilt coming from? I feel like I am cheating on Eli whenever I dream. How am I going to feel if I remember everything after we got married?
Even if I am not with Baek Joon-Woo, I feel like I am emotionally cheating on Eli.
But he's too understanding. He still wants to be with me. That makes me more guilty.
