I was at home with my sister, Lívia, and her daughter, Helena. Suddenly, the specter appeared... standing beside me, watching me.
It touched the tip of a finger to my shoulder... and something was born inside my chest—a desire... a desire to kill. It was an uncontrollable feeling, like thirst, like hunger, only far greater, accompanied by the certainty that there would be no consequences. My mind was completely overtaken...
I went into the living room and sat on the couch beside Helena, who was watching television. As we talked, we disagreed over something trivial, and soon we were arguing. With the surge of emotion, the urge to kill grew stronger until it became an obsession, carrying with it the certainty of pleasure...
I went to my bedroom and took the revolver hidden inside the wardrobe. Then I ran back into the living room. Helena rose to her feet, terrified at the sight of the gun.
"No, Auntie!" she screamed, one arm stretched toward me, her fingers spread apart.
I aimed at her chest and fired.
She fell, and my pleasure deepened. I wanted more... Lívia rushed to protect her, and I shot her too. They both died. The blood that flowed from them spread across the floor and seemed to shimmer. I knew exactly what I was doing. I carefully hid the bodies and called the family, telling them the two of them had gone on a trip.
Night began to fall, and I wandered the streets without direction. I still wanted to kill, but a thought kept circling in my mind:
"If I run away, they'll know it was me when they find the bodies. I can't run. But why did I do it? I loved them so much... Where did this urge come from?"
Remorse began to creep in, yet the desire to kill remained.
I walked through strange streets lined with old houses. Thick weeds and trees crowded their fronts, spilling over the walls. The houses were wooden, faded gray with age, while the vegetation remained vividly green.
A stream began running down the street—a stream of urine and feces that covered my feet. I kept walking against the current, stepping over pieces of waste. My socks grew wet. The stream rose higher, and the stench intensified.
I continued wandering, with no idea where I was. Up ahead, I saw a crossroads, and standing before a long wall was a masked man.
He looked insane. He paced back and forth, waving his arms, shouting and gesturing wildly. I couldn't understand a word he said; it sounded like guttural grunts. He held something in his hands—something like weapons—and he wouldn't let anyone pass into the streets beyond.
I turned around and ran.
Terrified, I glanced back and saw him behind me.
I ran and ran. I could hear my own breathing. My chest ached.
Then, suddenly, he stopped and returned to the crossroads, still shouting and gesturing. From a distance, he raised his weapon and threatened me with it.
That was when I realized the crossroads marked a boundary. He was guarding it. Beyond that point, no one could pass.
What was hidden in the streets beyond?
I kept running until I finally stopped to rest, my hands on my knees, my head hanging low.
The agony of remorse consumed me. Tears streamed down my face.
Why did I do it? I loved them... Why?
If only I could take it back.
When I lifted my head, I saw three horrible creatures passing in front of me.
They had long, pointed teeth and pitch-black eyes. They moved in perfect synchronization—the largest in front, with two smaller ones directly behind. Their wrists were shackled together with chains.
And they wore shackles around their genitals, which hung all the way to the ground.
I could hear the scrape of chains dragging across the earth.
I could hear their footsteps marching in unison.
The visions were unbearable. My soul felt heavy... It was suffering that seemed endless, an agony that devoured everything.
Darkness settled around me. I looked in every direction but did not recognize the shadowy figures moving in the distance.
I didn't know what to do.
I didn't know where to go.
I felt trapped in that place.
And then I understood...
My sin had brought me to hell.
What now?
"Wake up, wake up... wake up!" someone shouted.
I opened my eyes. My soul seemed to be returning from somewhere far away.
It had been a dream...
A dream that felt terrifyingly real.
I turned my head and saw it beside me.
The same sharp-toothed entity.
The demon from the dream.
It was like a sheet of paper.
As it moved away, it folded and unfolded, folded and unfolded, folded and unfolded, until it disappeared into the distance.
It was gone...
But it had left the desire to kill behind.
I prayed:
"God, take care of me. Keep the Evil One away from me. Jesus, send Your angels to protect me. Amen."
Later, I called my mother and told her about the dream.
"He attacks you because he knows you can see," she explained. "It was revenge from the enemy. He wanted to show you his power. But God is greater."
"I've been praying for many people. Maybe that angered him."
"Yes, that's exactly it. The angels woke you because you were living through a martyrdom in that dream."
"He made me experience a feeling I never even knew existed," I said.
"You need to ask God to forgive you for that feeling," she replied firmly.
"But it's not my fault! It's the enemy's fault. He made me feel it. He planted a feeling inside me that isn't mine!"
"It doesn't matter! You must ask God for forgiveness and ask Him to cleanse your soul!" she snapped.
"I'll pray tonight. Thank you, Mom," I said reluctantly.
"God bless you."
Before going to bed, I knelt beside my bed, recited the Lord's Prayer, read Psalm 91, and prayed:
"God... I ask forgiveness for my sins, and I thank You for all the care You have given me. Once again, I ask for Your mercy in my life. Please remove all evil from my body and from my spirit, and make me clean. Tear this wicked desire from my chest and never let it return. Let only the gifts of the Holy Spirit be manifested within me. Fill me with Your peace, Your love, and Your grace..."
I felt the Holy Spirit arrive, and I wept... He is great, powerful, and holy. All the evil slowly drained from my chest, and He filled me with peace.
The peace that only the Holy Spirit can give.
"Thank You for visiting me. Thank You for caring for me. I feel that I am being healed. My greatest desire, God, is to grow closer to You. Amen."