My father's sword, Tenshō-Maru, was now unrecognizable. I remembered when drawn, my father's blade would hum. It was soothing. It felt now as if it hummed in pain.
I felt upset that my father's sword was hidden from me, and I asked, "Why didn't you tell me about his sword sooner?" My voice dull.
Master Tanaka hesitated, trying to find the best words, and then his jaw tightened. "What would you have done, Rei? Would you have run to Tenshō-Maru and begged the blade to choose you? Part of me feared what the blade would do to you. This isn't Tenshō-Maru anymore, it is something different. I have never witnessed a blade outlive its master."
Part of me wanted to resent Master Tanaka, storm out with the blade, and take everything on myself without anyone's help. It would be easier that way. No strings to hold me back. I wouldn't have to worry about disappointing Master Tanaka.
Before I could respond to Master Tanaka, he spoke once more. "I hid it from you because you are the closest thing I have to a son. I didn't want to see your grief consume you as it did your father's blade."
I let his words swirl through my mind, "Thank you," I said softly. "You know what I have to do, though."
We stood still for some time, almost as still as the dust on Master Tanaka's old books in his storage closet. Master Tanaka knew my plan. I spoke about it often and trained solely for one purpose.
Finally, Master Tanaka broke the silence. "I have never wanted you to follow through with the path that it seems like you have already chosen, but sometimes we must follow the only path we see before us, or we will never move forward. I will respect your decision."
Finding my father's sword didn't bring me any joy at the moment, but it did give me resolve. I slowly stood, still holding the blade, looking at the tearful eye. Master Tanaka walked toward me and placed a hand on my shoulder, and as he did, I turned around and embraced him in a hug. I was grateful for everything he had done for me. He truly took me in as his own during a time I needed it most. Master Tanaka, one who never really showed his feelings, grasped me back in a hug tightly, almost completely taking the air out of my lungs.
He let go after nearly breaking my ribs from his tight hug and placed his hands on both of my shoulders. With a tired smile he said, "First things first, let's go get you a scabbard!"
He walked toward his shop and moved around a pile of empty scabbards.
"If I remember correctly, this should fit your father's sword," he explained.
I looked upon the blade once more as I gently slid it into its resting place and wore it at my hip.
"You look great with it on your hip!" Master Tanaka exclaimed like a proud father.
I asked Master Tanaka, "How do I join the military?"
He replied, "Why move so fast? Let's eat, and only then, when our bellies are full, will we talk about your future, Rei."
I was eager to move on and get started on my journey, but he was right. I didn't need to rush into things.
Master Tanaka and I left his home and place of business. We went to one of my favorite restaurants in Hiyoshimura called The Quiet Bowl. It was a down-to-earth, family-owned establishment and was never overly busy or compact. I loved that most about it, and the plus was they had great food.
The inside of the restaurant was mostly white with black and red accents. Decorative hanging paper lanterns lit the area. Each sitting area where you ate was sectioned off with bamboo screens for privacy. Inside the bamboo screens were tatami mats around a low table.
The smell of steamed rice and miso swarmed the air, making our stomachs rumble in hunger for the restaurant's amazing food.
The two of us sat down to order, greeted by the amazing waitress Aiko. She was graceful and delightful to talk to due to her soft voice.
"Have you ever met my son, Rei?" Master Tanaka asked Aiko, chuckling.
The old man attempted to embarrass me.
I replied, "Of course she knows me, and she also knows you're too old to be my father, Grandpa."
"Wow, I am not that old," Tanaka replied.
Aiko chuckled and slightly blushed as she asked for our order.
We ordered two bowls of rice, vegetable soup, grilled fish, and green tea. Master Tanaka and I came to the restaurant frequently and ordered the same thing each time. We both sat there not talking, but scarfing down the food, breathing heavily, trying to cool the hot food in our mouths as we chewed. We looked as if we had been starved. Luckily, the bamboo screens hid our barbaric way of eating our food.
Once we finished and left not a single grain of rice, we sat a little longer in silence. I pushed my arms back to relax, holding up my body and stretching out my stomach, hoping I could possibly find some room.
With seriousness, Tanaka explained, "Rei… you must understand how our government truly works. Japan may have an Emperor in name, but it is the Shōgun who rules, and beneath him sits a tower of men who hold the real power. At the top are the Karo, the senior retainers—politicians with blades for tongues—who control the flow of orders, land, and soldiers. Beneath them are the daimyō and high-ranking samurai lords, each with their own vassals and sworn warriors. Below those men are the regular samurai, sworn by duty and loyalty, and below them still are foot soldiers, messengers, and attendants. It is a ladder of obedience, Rei. Every man answers to someone above him, and the whole structure holds only because the Shōgun commands fear." He paused, eyes heavy. "This era is shaped by politics and steel. To serve in the military is not merely to fight—it is to enter a world where allegiance is everything, and one wrong step can cost a man his life."
I kept listening to Master Tanaka.
"I am willing to help you join the military, but this is not an easy path. To achieve your goals, you would have to carve through all of those who are faithful to the Shōgun, and that is not to mention you already bear the name Kazehara. The Shōgun knows all, and he will know about you. One wrong move, and you will never get close to him."
I took Tanaka's words to heart. He was truly smart when it came to the subject matter.
I asked, "So how do I join the military?"
Master Tanaka replied, "First things first—you now have what the government calls a divine right to call yourself a samurai. A sword choosing you makes that so. Secondly, I know a Karo by the name of Masanori Takeda. He is an old friend and owes me a favor."
I wasn't going to question Master Tanaka's friendship with this Karo, because it possibly gave me a leg-up when it came to the spot I received when joining Japan's military. After some longer talks with Master Tanaka—and him mostly trying to set me up with the waitress Aiko instead of talking about the military—we finally finished up.
So much time passed, and I finally decided that as Master Tanaka figured things out with the Karo, I would go back home to see my mother.
After saying my farewells to Master Tanaka for the day, I walked through the streets of the city as the sun began setting on the day. My family home wasn't to far from the shop, so I didn't have to walk far. The only thing was, my family home wasn't a hole-in-the-wall like Tanaka's shop. My father left behind a beautiful home that could only be owned by a samurai of his rank.
I walked into the courtyard of my home. Inside the courtyard was a small garden just before entering the home. I slid open the front door.
The houses in this district of the city were well made with higher-grade wood, and the doorframes were reinforced. Near our house were other houses similar to ours with other samurai who held a rank near my father's.
The government allowed my mother and siblings to stay in the house after my father's death. It seemed like a generous offer from the government, but only Master Tanaka and I knew the truth of my father's death. The present Shōgun didn't know I sometimes traveled with my father when he protected the past Shōgun. I watched my father perish the same as Tenshō-Maru, and I hid as it happened—useless and unable to do anything.
I escaped after my father's death and luckily found Master Tanaka distressed. Once the new government took charge and replaced the Shōgun, my father's death was covered up and was said to be a sudden death of natural causes.
Master Tanaka warned me to keep the truth of his death a secret so that we didn't stir up any commotion with the new government that might cost us our lives. I kept the secret close to my chest. I didn't tell my mother or my sister. Natural causes were better than telling them their father and husband were murdered. I chose that the secret was mine to bear, and one day I would enact my revenge on the current Shōgun.
"Rei, is that you?" my mother yelled.
I replied, "Yes, it is."
My mother's name was Ayamo Kazehara, and my sister—who was only eleven years old—was Keiko Kazehara.
I walked into the main living area, and my mother was sweeping the floor and doing chores around the house. She stopped sweeping once I walked into the room and instantly saw my hip.
"What is that on your hip, Rei?" she asked.
I replied, "It is a sword, Mom." I didn't tell her it was my father's sword. It would create too many questions.
"So one chose you after all?" she said with disappointment. It was fair. She blamed my father's death on the stressful life of being a samurai.
I replied, "You could sound a little bit happy for me. I have only wanted this for the past six years of my life."
"Rei, I am happy for you, but I know what this means. I just want you to live a long and happy life," she explained.
I said with love, "I know, Mother, trust me… but this is what I was meant to do. This is what I have to do."
I wrapped my mother in a hug. I knew that this might be the last time I would see her for a while, but at least I knew she was safe. Other samurai living nearby would be protection for my mother, and most samurai respected my father and his life as a samurai.
I went to find my sister but had no luck.
I asked my mother, "Where is Keiko?"
"She isn't back from school yet," my mother said.
As I looked for my sister, my mother quickly went to her own bedroom and brought out a very heavy case. She attempted to drag it on her own, but I insisted on carrying it with her out into the open living space.
"I might not approve of this, but I'm sure your father would've wanted you to have it," she said, out of breath.
I opened up the black chest, and inside it contained some of my father's armor. This set of armor he had left behind seemed as if it was yet to be painted and was just black as coal. The first piece of armor I noticed was the helmet and face guard. The armor set was lightweight, and the helmet was smooth and curved with a black cord tied at the chin area.
The face guard just had a flat expression—nothing scary. My father was not a brute, so his face guards never showed him as one.
I didn't look through the rest of the armor just yet. I decided to leave it for the morning. I embraced my mom in a tight hug and said, "Thank you."
As I went to my room to get some rest, she quickly stopped me.
"Rei?" she said. "You never did tell me what you named your sword."
I thought about renaming Tenshō-Maru on the walk home, and once I finally got home, I landed on a name. The blade born from grief that mourns.
As I walked into my room, I told her, "Nageki no Ken."
The Sword of Lament.