I woke up before sunrise, like I always do. Ugh… my whole body hurts. No surprise there—sleep's been a joke ever since I became an idol.
Shows, studio sessions, handshake events… they were fun, at first. Really fun.
But now? It's like I'm juggling a million tiny alarms in my head, all screaming don't let anyone know about Ai-chan. Fun kind of… disappeared under that.
And the weirdest part? In my everyday life, I'm just Suzuki Aika. Just a normal 17-year-old. Walking to school, doing homework, scrolling through TikTok… no glitter, no cameras, no screaming fans. No one knowing my "idol side."
Sometimes I wish I could just… disappear into that normal life for a day. To just be me.
I stared at my reflection, too tired for someone my age. Twenty-five minutes just to put on makeup, to hide the bags under my eyes.
My eyeliner never comes out perfect, the corner of my mouth always slightly off. Ai-chan can't have sloppy, tired-looking me. Not today.
Sometimes I wish I could skip it all. But fans can't see me like that. So I dab, swipe, and stare a little longer, wishing being "perfect" didn't take so much of me.
Oh… and there's this boy, Shiba Takumi. He knows my secret. I can't let him say a word about it—not a single word.
Not because he'd want to, maybe, but because… what if he slips? What if one careless comment ruins everything I've worked for?
He already dissed me after our fight in that empty classroom.
I should've stayed mad. I really should have. But when I confronted him on the rooftop, and he suggested we start over…
It felt like a weight lifted off my chest. Like I could finally breathe. So I nodded.
Are we… friends now?
I think we just might be.
Still… it didn't feel right to let it end like that. So I slipped a little sneak shot at him into SIX STAR's new single. Hehe.
I can't wait for him to hear it!
…Am I getting a little too excited?
I don't understand my own feelings. There's just something about this boy… something that keeps pulling me in, even when I tell myself I should stay away.
I don't know what it is. Maybe it's how serious he is about music.
Or the stubborn way he keeps going, no matter what.
It's probably nothing.
…Right?
I pushed it out of my head, grabbed my backpack, and stepped into the faintly warm morning air.
After school, we have a music video shoot for the new single.
What's this talk about not wanting money or fame?
You diss girls for clout, no shame.
I cut that part into a short clip and posted it on my Instagram.
By the time I got to the station, the views were already going up. Likes kept popping up, and my phone wouldn't stop buzzing.
Fans were excited, leaving hearts and fire emojis, talking about the comeback.
Then I noticed a few comments.
Wait… is this about Forsaken?
LOL did she just diss him?
Ai-chan 😭
I quickly locked my phone and slipped it into my bag, my heart beating a little faster than it should've for something that was "just a teaser."
The ride to school was boring. After I got off at my stop, I walked the rest of the way, the school only about ten minutes away.
Then I saw him.
Shiba-kun.
My heart stopped.
He was… crying.
He brushed at his eyes over and over, trying to hide it, staring down like he didn't want anyone to see.
I wanted to reach out to him, but before I could move, Yamashita-san was already there.
Shiba-kun wiped his eyes one last time and forced a smile, like nothing had happened.
I stood there, unsure what to do. Worried about him… and, for some reason, irritated by Yamashita-san.
Why has the class president been so close to Shiba-kun lately?
I don't even care, really. I mean… it's not like it bothers me. But why does just watching them together make my stomach twist like this?
Truth is… normally, I would have walked over to them.
But now… I wasn't sure what to do.
Shiba-kun might think it's better if I don't get seen with him, with his reputation and all, but… honestly?
Isn't worrying about social status kind of immature?
It's not that. I just…
I want to comfort him. To listen. To be there for him. I just don't know how…
So, I stood there, frozen. Hoping he was okay. Hoping… maybe she could calm him down.
I bit back the complicated mix of feelings that bubbled up just from seeing them together.
Then, he noticed me. Our eyes met for a brief second, but he looked away just as fast.
I pulled out my phone and DMed him on his Forsaken account… we'd never exchanged contact info, so I'd never gotten his LINE.
Can we talk later? I typed and hit send.
His phone buzzed, but he didn't open it right away. He waited until we were past the school gate, then finally pulled it out.
I got a reply.
Sure. Skip the 2nd period.
I looked up at him—and there it was, that smirk.
My stomach did this stupid little flip, and my face probably turned way too red.
Are you serious?!?
I'm not a delinquent like yo—ugh. Aika, that was so rude.
I smiled despite myself.
Sometime later, we met on the rooftop. I slipped out during math class, telling the teacher I needed to go to the bathroom.
I found Shiba-kun leaning against the railing, staring off into the distance.
I didn't know what to say… so I did the first stupid thing that came to mind.
I walked up quietly behind him and covered his eyes.
"Guess who~," I whispered near his ear.
He grinned and, in the next second, lifted his hand, brushing softly against mine.
W-w-what are you doing?!?
Wait—what am I doing??
This is so embarrassing…
"What's good, Suzuki?" he asked casually, like that stupid moment didn't bother him at all.
Ugh. I wanted to punch him. Or ki—
Stop. Stop. Stooooop!
I dropped my hands back to my sides as fast as I could. Shiba-kun turned to face me, his expression suddenly empty, unreadable.
"I'll be living alone starting today," he said quietly.
Eeeehhhh???
I blinked at him, my brain still catching up. "L-living alone? Starting today?"
That wasn't funny. Not even a little.
I tilted my head, trying to read his face. "Did something happen?"
"Something?" he scoffed. "More like years of being treated like trash by my own fa—"
He stopped himself, rubbing his temples like the words hurt more than he wanted to admit.
I froze, the joking mood completely gone.
I hesitated, then took a small step closer.
"…Hey," I said quietly.
I looked at his hands, still pressed to his temples, then back up at his face. "You don't have to finish that," I added, almost like I was afraid of pushing him.
My fingers curled at my sides. I wanted to reach out, but I didn't.
"Are you… okay?"
"No."
He sighed, like he tried to lie and couldn't make himself do it.
"I'm not okay."
My chest tightened.
"…Oh," I said, stupidly.
I didn't know what to say after that. So I just stayed there, not stepping away.
"If you want to talk," I added quietly, "I can listen."
Shiba-kun let out a long sigh. Then he started to speak, his voice hoarse as it cut through the quiet.
"Everything started when I entered middle school…"
I didn't interrupt. I just stayed there and listened. To everything he'd been through. To everything he'd had to endure.
By the time he finished, my eyes were burning. Tears gathered before I even realized it.
Before I could think, I stepped forward and hugged him. It wasn't planned. It just… happened.
"S-Suzuki?" he breathed.
"S-sorry," I whispered. "I just… couldn't help it."
I didn't let go. He didn't tell me to.
So we stayed like that for a while, with only the sound of the wind brushing past us.