Li Yulan lay quietly in bed all night without closing her eyes.
The scenes of her past flashed quickly before her eyes, and Li Yulan felt that her life hadn't been as glamorous and successful as she had imagined.
Her father, who was violent when she was young, left home too early, abandoning her mother. Even though she later excelled academically, she couldn't compensate for the family shortcomings.
She wanted to rise higher and kept finding ways to climb up.
But only after suffering so many setbacks did she realize that sometimes her hard work might not be as useful as what others could obtain with a mere gesture.
Thus, she embarked on a road of no return.
She set her sights on rich men. She knew she looked delicate, and combined with her frequent aloof demeanor, she was seen as a high-flown flower unattainable to others.
But only she knew that it wasn't that she avoided intimacy with others; she was afraid of it.
