The silence means that my gift was well received.
Clearly, they were just too grateful to speak.
The funniest thing is that the smallest member of their little group was also the 'strongest,' physically speaking.
Seeing her hold a gun that both weighed more than her and was probably more than twice her length was…amusing.
I'm a good influence on people.
Maybe I could give Kunou a portable cannon too.
"Go commit crimes with that." I gave her my blessing.
"Okay." She nodded happily.
"No!" Rias cut in. "Koneko, you're not allowed to use that thing…ever! Hand it over!"
The cat girl hissed.
"Don't you dare hiss at me." Rias took on a stern tone. "Hand. It. Over. Don't make me get the spray bottle."
Huh.
That seems mildly racist.
"Does that seem racist to anyone else?" I asked. "Threatening a cat girl with a spray bottle…"
"It appears offensive to me." Artoria nodded as well. "
"It's not racist." Rias defended. "I have an actual spray bottle."
"...I mean, confirming that it's real doesn't help your case." I side-eyed her.
"That's—!! That's not what I meant!" She stomped her foot. "It works!"
"Yeah, and I'm sure if I threatened a person of color with a whip, it would get them to do what I say too. That doesn't make it not racist." I responded.
She just gaped at me.
"She already punches holes through walls if she wants; why does a gun make a difference?" Issei asked.
"He raises an oddly intelligent and well-thought-out point." I look at Artoria. "Are we sure we're the only ones disguised in here? Anyways, who else wants some illegal firearms?"
Rias ran a hand down her face. "Wilhelm, please don't give anyone else in my peerage a gun."
"...How did you know it was me?" I looked at her skeptically.
"Lucky guess." She deadpanned.
I feel like I should be offended for some reason.
I snapped my fingers and dispelled the illusion. "You saw through it, didn't you?"
Rias let out a harumph and crossed her arms.
Well, credit where it's due at least. It was by no means a strong illusion, but I know for a fact if it were months ago, she most certainly wouldn't have been able to.
"This is Artoria." I made sure to introduce her.
"Greetings." She gave a small, polite nod.
Wouldn't want her to feel awkward; she's careful towards social niceties. Even if they knew who she was, not introducing her and having her just sit there amidst everything would make her feel uncomfortable.
"I don't think I expected to see you here like this." Rias spoke up; her tone was…measured.
"To be fair, I didn't think I would come back." I took my seat at Artoria's side again.
The others seemed to awkwardly move to sit opposite of us.
They didn't seem to know how to act around me, which is mostly my fault for how I laid into them the last time we met. That isn't something you just laugh off even if you can roll your eyes at it later.
Hell, I'm sure if I was their age and someone just took a knife to stab at all my weak spots, my insecurities, and my failures, I would be a lot less polite than they are.
"Well, don't worry, I don't plan to burn down the school."
For now.
"That wasn't my concern, but now it is." She said dryly. "Do you have any idea how much work was put into rebuilding it after Kokabiel?"
"...do you?" I questioned right back at her, because I'm fairly sure she didn't have a hand on it.
She let out a huff. "I saw all the work done; it looked like a lot."
Hmm, I wonder if I can claim innocence and have them act as my witnesses if the Student Council room just suddenly blows up while I'm here.
Will anyone believe that?
"Why…exactly are you here?" Rias broached the subject finally. "After the blowout you had with Lord Bael, everyone's been saying that you cut ties completely with Devils. Other than...my mom." She said the last bit forcibly.
Right, at my last meeting with Zekram at his home, I intentionally made it look like I was furious when I left, throwing a proverbial tantrum in my wake.
Venelana did a good job with her 'My expression reveals nothing, but you can clearly tell I'm not pleased' face that all mothers seem to possess.
That was the point, to make it look like I didn't have any ties.
Glad to hear that it worked, even if Rias took it as belief.
"I'm filling in for Santa this year." I told her.
"I'm pretty sure Santa doesn't give out guns."
"Maybe you were just never good enough to get one; did you ever consider that?" I shot back. "Wait, do Devils even celebrate Christmas?"
I didn't, as a traditional Japanese household, but I inherited that stuff from my Gramps.
"Santa can be rearranged into Satan." Akeno spoke up. "Her brother rides around on a sleigh every year for the kids."
Why am I not surprised they stole another thing and twisted it into something stupid?
I'll never forgive the devils for stealing Super Sentai and making their cheap knockoff.
"Did Mom tell you to come and visit?" Rias asked, veering us back on track as she asked me pointedly.
"She did not." I leaned back, pursing my lips. "She did ask me to buy some of my stronger healing potions for you, though. I figured I would give you some myself as an…apology."
"Apology?" She raised an eyebrow.
"For the last time we met, I was needlessly aggressive and rude."
Just a smidge, but I think that made everyone sort of relax a little? It's honestly amazing what a simple apology can accomplish when you're in the wrong.
"Ara Ara~ Schweinorg-kun." Akeno giggled. "I heard that the Youkai have been selling some potions lately, but not many people can get their hands on them."
"The benefits of knowing the boss." I waved it off.
Actually, I don't think people knew that I was technically the source? Though, they also had their own 'source' at this point.
Yasaka has been continuing her trading in Skyrim even after the war ended.
I doubt the other factions realize just how much money the Youkai have at this point. Granted, a lot of it is being used to clean up the aftermath of the war.
Things like repairs, replacement, and of course payments to everyone who participated. I think she mentioned she was giving the families of the deceased a bonus as well so they didn't have to worry about working for several years to mourn properly.
"So, how many healing potions do you want? There's a diminishing effect the more you take in quick succession, so I wouldn't really consider more than three per person to be worthwhile." I jumped right into it, setting several bottles on what remained standing upright on the now broken table.
"Uh…Wilhelm?" Rias looked happy for a brief moment but then frowned. "You know we can't use all these, right?'
I tilted my head in confusion, and realization set in. "Rules against it?"
She nodded her head. "We're only allowed one healing item of a type. One Phoenix Tear, for instance. Though, that's usually the only healing item because Healing Items are…..rare and usually very expensive."
"What about a Sacred Gear that could technically heal?"
She shrugged. "That's still 'one item,' isn't it?"
Fair.
"Healing Spells?"
"Again, each spell would technically be 'one item.'"
I nodded, guessing the answer again. I just wanted to clarify for my own interest. "So, it's to stop people from winning due to nepotism and wealth."
"Pretty much. Though, a lot of non-pillar families can't even afford a Phoenix Tear normally. They wouldn't waste it on a Rating Game."
Ah, still got to cater to the nobles then.
"So, the rule is specifically healing items?" I asked.
"...yes?" She said hesitantly.
"Here's a Regeneration Potion too, the strongest I got. It's 'different' than a normal Healing Potion; it provides a steady regenerative effect rather than a 'burst' of healing that you would expect."
"Fuu?!" Rias let out a strange noise of surprise. "That…should technically be alright?"
"Here's a Fortifying Health Potion. It's a temporary burst of 'healing,' in that the healing it provides, while very strong compared to the others, is undone once the effect ends; it also comes with a side effect of pain."
Well, what's the point of rules if not to find a way around them?
As a proper Magus, it is my duty to find loopholes in any set of rules.
"And you said Healing Potions in particular." I set more on the ground because what remained of the table was now filled. "Stamina Potion. Drink this; it will be like a second wind, providing another burst of vigor and relaxing muscles and fatigue in the process. But once the effect ends, you'll be hit by it all at once. Don't take more than two in a short time frame; your body will collapse after the second, and if you try a third, there could be actual harm."
She was still just staring sort of blankly.
I think I shocked her into silence?
But I wasn't done! There weren't many times in my life where I got to throw around my own wealth for nepotism purposes!
"A Fortify Destruction Potion." I placed it down in front of them. I'm glad they were labeled properly because I don't know if she was hearing everything I said. "It increases the output of elemental-based magic for a short period at the expense of an exponential increase in your consumed magic and stamina to cast."
I'm kind of sad that these things have so little effect on me at this point.
I didn't tell them that there was a diminished effect the stronger you get because they weren't at that stage where it would matter.
"A Fortify Strength Potion. The same as the Magic One, but obviously physical strength." I set that one on the ground too.
It's unfortunate that these ones can't be mass produced; the materials are too rare and expensive even if they can be individually grown. One of the ingredients sucks up too many nutrients in the ground, and if you plant two of the same ones close, one of them will devour the other.
Lots of weird things like that, which makes it difficult.
"And here's a good one. A Resist Fire Potion. Exactly as the name says, it gives you a good deal of resistance against the Element of Fire for its duration. It's not omnipotent, so don't think you can jump into a volcano or something with it on." I tossed that one right into her hands.
Was there anything else worth noting?
"Ah!" I snapped my fingers. "Here's a funny idea." I set one last potion on the ground with the others. "A Water Breath Potion—just flood the area to drown everyone if you can nip their flying. Or cast a spell that encases everyone in a big ball of water and drown them that way." I shrugged.
I wasn't their strategist; I was just giving them options.
"Anyways, there you go." I leaned back.
Artoria gave me a warm smile, basically telling me I did a good job.
They sort of just silently stared at the pile of potions now.
"I have an…important question." Rias finally opened her mouth.
"Yes?"
"Are you helping because you feel guilty, or because you're taking joy out of making a mockery of our rating games?"
That was an…oddly perceptive question for her to ask.
When did she get so smart?
"30:70." I answered.
"Then I'll gladly take them without feeling like you're pitying me." She perked up.
"If it was pity, would you reject them?" I asked her.
"No, my pride would just be in shambles. Now I can do it with a clear conscience." She said honestly. "At this point, I would pray to you-know-who every day if it meant I wouldn't have to marry Riser."
Ah, desperation, the enemy of pride.
"Thank you." She spoke again. "You said Mom asked you, but this is way beyond what she probably meant."
Erm.
It makes me feel weird getting thanked by her.
"Let me see your gear; I'll enchant it." I waved off her thanks. "If it needs it, obviously."
"What do you mean?" Rias asked, looking confused.
"Armor, weapons, anything really. I can enchant it; maybe some anti-fire effects? Or something that does more damage against fire elements." I rubbed my chin. "I just need to see what I have to work with first."
Again, assuming I even needed to help there.
"Uh…I don't have armor. Or weapons."
"Pardon?" I blinked. "You don't have what?"
"I don't wear armor, and I don't use a weapon."
I took a moment to digest that. "What…exactly do you fight in then?"
She looked at me, then looked down at herself.
I held a hand up because I felt like she was about to answer. "Please, don't tell me you're going to fight in your school uniform."
She didn't reply, but the look on her face said it all.
I pushed my thumbs against my temples, rubbing them far harder than I should.
Be nice.
Be nice.
Be nice.
Be nice.
I took a deep breath. "I can understand, in some cases, the lack of a weapon. Sairaorg, for instance, a pair of gauntlets he could reasonably acquire would probably hold him back. However, for you all…why are you not wearing armor?"
"I just…never really considered it…?" Rias tried to defend herself. "And wouldn't armor be too bulky—"
"Armor doesn't mean a full set of plate mail armor like you're a traditional knight." I cut her off there. Be nice. "Artoria, can I please tag you in here? You're significantly more articulate and knowledgeable about this than I am."
"I would be happy to assist." Artoria responded, eyes turning to her. "Young man, you appear to be a swordsman, yes?" She looked at Kiba.
Kiba was also a rather…quiet boy.
"...that's right." He nodded.
"Do you wear wrist guards, gauntlets, or any sort of material to protect your hands and arms?"
"No." He shook his head.
"Are you aware that the hands, wrists, and arms are the most vulnerable parts of your body for a swordsman?" She kept her polite and even tone.
"Wouldn't that be a dishonorable method to win by?" He asked in return.
"Is it?" Artoria raised an eyebrow. "If your opponent shows a weakness, do you not exploit it? If you are faster, do you slow down for their benefit? Will you call foul play if they are stronger? There are, of course, foul and dishonorable methods to fighting, even a foe you despise. But to aim at an unarmored arm to disable them is no different than to disarm them of their weapon or to break it entirely."
She was much nicer about it than me.
I just wanted to yell at them to stop being idiots.
"But, don't you just wear regular clothes?" Issei asked, raising his hand and then pointing at me. "I think all the videos I saw were of you wearing something like you are right now."
"Yeah!" Rias jumped up to agree with him, as if finding a string of logic to grasp onto.
"First." I held up a finger. "I do have armor. The Scale Mail of the Boosted Gear. Second, my physical body is strong enough that I am highly confident that you are unable to find any armor that can reasonably accommodate me there. And third, what makes you think my clothes are normal?"
I stood up, straightening my collar and my tie, then I jabbed my thumb at the cat girl. "She could shoot me with her cannon, and it wouldn't even tear the fabric, much less make a hole."
They looked at me, then their eyes trailed over to the side.
I followed it and realized she was pointing the massive gun at me.
Perhaps an error had been made here.
I may or may not have given her the loaded gun.
With Dust Rounds in particular.
I scrunched my nose as I heard the mechanical click of the trigger mechanism and the resounding, thunderous explosion of the bullet firing.
The glass windows in the room shattered, partly because of the noise and shockwave and partly because it sent me flying out one in particular.
I lay on my back, pressed against the grass as I looked up at the second story of the building that now had a huge hole in it.
"I asked for that in more ways than one." I sighed.
When I said to go commit crimes, I meant against other Devils.
Specifically, not me.
"Wilhelm?"
I tilted my head back to see who called me. "Sairaorg." Speak of the devil. "What are you doing here?" I rolled over and pushed myself up, brushing off the dirt.
I ignored the shouts of panic that were coming from inside the building.
"I could ask you the same question." He smiled happily.
God, he really does remind me of Thorum.
I reached out my hand, and he shook it with enthusiasm. "Delivering some potions to help Rias not cheat during the Rating Game."
"...I heard a gunshot."
"I may have also given Koneko a very big gun and invited her to shoot me with it." I admitted.
He looked contemplative for a moment. "I hadn't thought about that. A powerful gun might be helpful to them, and it's not against the rules."
Yes, that's the reason I gave it to her, nothing else.
"How about you?'
"I've been helping her train for a while." He laughed. "I had free time today, so I was coming over to help again."
Oh, no wonder they felt a bit better than the last time I saw them.
He followed me back inside, where I could hear Rias shouting.
"My club room!" She screeched. "You shot Wilhelm! You blew up my Club Room!"
Koneko just had a blank look on her face, like she hadn't done anything wrong.
"I can't hear anything; is that normal?" Issei shouted, in a tone-deaf way.
Artoria was sitting politely in the middle of all of it with the same casual disregard for the chaos.
I twirled my wand between my fingers. "Reparo."
The room began to fix itself.
Even the glass bottles—which had been shattered—were pulled back together, and the liquids returned to where they should be.
While the spell can't repair 'magical' things, putting a 'magical thing' back into place was easy like this.
Rias stopped her ranting immediately. "Oh, hey, Sairaorg."
"Seriously, I can't hear anything except a ringing in my ears!" Issei shouted.
I grabbed one of the newly repaired healing potions, uncorked it, and splashed his face with it before sitting back down.
He made a noise of complaint, but he quickly calmed down once he realized it had worked.
"Hey Rias." Sairaorg took everything in stride. "That is a big gun."
"It's mine, no touching." Koneko put it behind her protectively.
He looked around and just nodded. "Alright, let's get started with today's training. Wilhelm, do you want to help?"
Normally, I think I would reject him.
I…can't say things aren't still awkward, and it wasn't really the best point in time to rectify that. I know Sairaorg meant well, and he probably didn't read the room all that much in the few moments he had joined.
However.
I looked at the cat girl at the side.
She looked up at me, and I saw that little smug tug of her lips.
Rias, hand over the spray bottle.
[Line break]
A/N
Something something, Avalon + Sairaorg = healed mom maybe?
Also, Wilhelm isn't going to take an active part in things, despite hanging around for a bit longer. He's not going to have a hand in her peerage or anything like that. Frankly, his 'help' right now is partly as an apology for how he acted before, with a significant part being that he's happy to fuck with the rules and customs of the Rating Games because he thinks they're stupid.
IF you want to read 10 chapters ahead or support me, visit my p.a.t.r.e.o.n.c.o.m / astoryforone
I also have a boosty if you can't use the above with the same name