"Where's my shoes?" In a daze, she stared at her toes, wiggling at the touch of water ripples.
"You're finally here!" A childish voice pierced her mind, and a small hand clasped around her fingers, forcing her body—drained of any movement — to waddle forward.
"What?" Her vision shifted in this empty void from her wide-eyed, excited younger self to an open wooden door centered in this wall-less, chilling expanse. The door stood ajar, flashing its light and singeing Cherry's head with a headache.
"Quick! He's waiting for us!"
"Who's waiting—hey! Wait!" It seemed her younger self had been working out, as no matter how Cherry tried to dig the heels of her feet into the murky waters, the powerful tugs made her lose balance, and she got pushed through the door. Her heart lurched in her throat at the lack of solid ground and shut her eyes, feeling her body falling down. Waiting for an impact that never seemed to come until—
"No!"
Her eyes sprang open. Flickering with urgency, they bounced over the green stalks protruding through the ground, to the faceless kids swinging on the swings and then at herself—the harsh breathing in her ears intensifying as her arms became see-through.
Huh? Wh-what's going on? Why am I like this?
"NO!"
A young child yelled defiantly, the ends of her cinnamon tresses bouncing up and down. Her feet stomped with vigor, causing the sandcastles built by other children to crumble into dust. Following each slam, a guttural "No!" echoed.
Still confused, Cherry's eyes crawled with apprehension to the only child with a face. I have no idea what's going on, but one thing is for sure. The young girl's brown eyes roasted into slits, her small fists clenching with fury.
That young girl is me
...
"No! No! No!" Desperate to shout and act out, Little Cherry found herself grinding the sand underfoot, the only outlet for the intense, constricting feeling in her chest after her mother told her to behave. No longer were her ankle-strap, toe-closed pumps pristine, and each time her toes wriggled she could feel the sand crumbs scratching her skin.
Her mom had warned her not to wear her new shoes, but she stubbornly insisted on wearing them to show them off. Now she regrets it, and she can even hear mom's nagging tone in her mind; whispering: I told you so.
Instead of letting the tears drip aimlessly down her face, she blinked them away and aimed her fierce glare at the group of children in front of her. She pointed at the boy holding her prince doll. "That's not how a prince is supposed to act! They aren't Superman!"
Pinned by the rackled stare, the young boy took a step back. "W-well, this play pretend is stupid! Nobody wants to play this stupid game."
Hurt flickered in little Cherry's eyes, fueling the young boy's confidence. The whispers of agreement from the fray of kids behind the boy were like coals added to the fire.
Cherry thinned her lips and stomped over to the boy until they were three steps apart and thrust her hand out, palm facing the sky. "Then give it back." She didn't care that her voice cracked and that her eyes tinged with rawness; her gaze never wavered away from him.
"Give-give what?"
"My doll!" She snatched it from his hands, catching him off guard and stormed into the small crowd, ignoring the hisses of pain whenever she bumped into someone.
"H-hey! Where are you going?"
She didn't reply nor look back, but disappeared with a crooked bow and smudged clothes.
...
"Stupid ■■■■■." Her younger self grumbled petulantly under her breath as she kicked a stray pebble. Cherry floated behind the child, haunting her every step. Her brow cinched as she pondered the scene she had just seen. No matter how hard she thought about it, she couldn't remember that this had ever happened.
Well, perhaps I was too young to remember. How old was I even?
Deep in thought, she didn't notice herself phasing through the child. Shivers crawled up her spine before she threw a glance over her shoulder. Motionless, the child's eyes were fixed on something on the riverbed. Following the gaze Cherry, saw a child sitting on the green, vibrant stalks. Curled into a ball with their knees tucked tight, the child watched the river, their bangs brushing their lashes.
She wasn't sure if it was fascination or something else, but her younger self moved closer to the small child and settled down beside them. Startled, the child jumped from their seat. Whatever skin not shaded by the dark hair strands flushed with a shade of red.
Little Cherry scanned the child from head to toe. Her small lips parted to allow a gasp to escape at the sight of layers of tattered clothes swallowing the strange child. "Aren't you hot?"
The visible lips of the child thinned into a line as he tugged at the sleeve of his sweater, as if he wanted to disappear, and shook his head vigorously.
Young Cherry hummed in thought and then pointed across the riverbed at the sun sinking into the horizon, its glow creating embers in the river's surface. "It's getting late. Shouldn't you also go home?"
The child answered with a shake of their head, hunching their trembling shoulders. The wind playfully swirled locks of hair around their head, and for a brief instant, she saw those elegantly arched eyebrows framing their own tittering brown eyes.
"Pretty…" Lost in a trance, her hand drifted to the child's face, wanting to get a better look. Shaken up, the child took quick steps back. "N-no—" his voice cracked as he choked out, his hands a blur of motion in front of him as his eyes stretched out with panic. "I'm d-dirty." He retreated to his usual behaviour of looking at his feet, his fingers caked with dirt combed his hair over his face to hide it.
A frown settled on young Cherry's face, and without a word, she reached for the boy's hand, pulling him back down next to her. "You're not dirty."
"B-but—" his eyes wobbled as he eyed their clasped hands. He brought his free hand to his lips and gnawed on his uneven nails, muttering, "But I'll make y-you dirty."
Cherry tightened her hold on him. "And what's wrong with that? I also played in the sandbox and got dirty." She inched closer to him, batting her eyes at him as she softened her voice. "I want to play with you. Don't you want to play with me?" Her penetrating stare unnerved him, and he couldn't stop himself from leaning away from her, but at her questions his hand in her hold stiffened. "Play? You want, want to play with me? Me?"
She nodded excessively with a toothful smile, but it evaporated the moment she saw the pale complexion of the boy.
Her round eyes curved down as they blinked something vulnerable away, her lips pressed into a thin line as she hid her face in her crossed arms. "Do you also think that playing with dolls is dumb? Am I dumb?" At the end of her sentence her voice dwindled into a soft whisper as she hugged herself tighter, as if bracing for a harsh comment.
"No! It-it's cool!"
"Really?"
The boy affirmed with a nod. "I don't have dolls myself. So I think that kids who have dolls are cool." The impact of his words lured her out of her burrow. Those brown eyes peeking shyly at him over her arms, and his cheeks reddened.
"How cool is it?"
"This cool!" He opened his arms wide and, to emphasize even further, stood on his toes.
She chuckled, "What's your name?"
"Lo—" He bit his tongue. Pushing through the pain, he squeezed out a tear. "Lou."
"I'm Cherry."
Nailed to the ground, Cherry's body grew stiff as she realized the identity of the. "What's Brandon doing here?"
Before Cherry even had the chance to understand what was going on, the scene in front of her shifted to a different one. Still on the riverside bed, the two kids running around filled the air with giggles. Like that, the scenes kept shifting from them eating an ice cream that Cherry bought to them having their first fight.
If it were not for the leaves discoloring and floating to the ground, she wouldn't have noticed the change in time.
"Brandon and I are childhood friends?"
As if her words unlocked something, a swirling black portal appeared behind her and yanked her in with a violent force that silenced her cry along with her. Her vision blurred. The animated chatter of the children dwindled into silence until she got spat out in a different place and landed on her belly.
"Lou!"
Soft breaths of whimpers brushed her face, and her eyes snapped open to face Lou, watching him curl into himself like a wounded animal. Young Cherry ran over to him and slid down on her knees without thinking how those rugged planks were slicing through her skin.
Shaking uncontrollably, she gently laid her hands on the boy's head, her voice choked with tears. "It's all my-my fault. I should never have pushed you into letting me visit your house. Oh-oh no, look, look at all the blood."
Clink. The glass bottom of a bottle scraped against the rough, yellow-stained plaster with a dry, grating screech that vibrated straight through the two kids. Sobbing, young Cherry did her best to cover Lou with her body.
"You bastard. This is what you've been up to while I was waiting for you to buy me alcohol? You got yourself a little girlfriend?"
"Ah!"
The old man's grimy hand flung young Cherry to the side like a paper doll. Her body crashed against the wall—the peeling wallpaper sliding down with her.
"Cherry!" Lou clutched his aching side, struggling to get up only for his father's boots to slam him down, stomping on his back. His feeble arms pushed against the carpet matted with blood.
"Can't you just stay down?"
"Argh!"
With an ironclad grip on his hair, Lou could feel his old man's nails scrape his scalp right off before he drove Lou's face to the ground. "I should have killed you the moment your mother walked out on me."
To back up those words, Lou's father lifted the arm that held the bottle and swung it down, but two slender arms quickly wrapped around his hairy arm to stop the strike.
"…What the?"
"Stop hurting Lou!" Young Cherry clung to the man's arm for dear life
"Cherry let go and run away. I can handle this," Lou gasped out through gritted teeth. With his remaining strength, he dug his fingers into the old man's ankles.
To combat the dizziness clouding her vision, she squeezed her eyes shut and answered with a shake of her head. "I will not let go! I will not let him hurt you anymore."
"This damn brat. Didn't you hear him? Let go—I said let go!"
With a swing of his arm, he sent her flying. Cherry lost her grip, her head striking the coffee table's sharp corner with a jolt of pain that shot from her neck to her scalp. A blinding flash of white erupted before her eyes, and her body suddenly lost all strength.
The air was thick with her agonized groans, which eventually dissolved into desperate gasps for air.
Lou sprang into action, pushing the leg off him and scrambled over to Cherry. "Cherry?" A groan. "Cherry, look at me." He took a quick swallow. His hand, racked with tremors, gave her shoulder a soft nudge, but she couldn't focus on him as her eyes rolled back into her skull.
"Cherry, don't fall asleep. Wake up!" Getting no response, the firmness in his voice evaporated. "Call the ambulance, old man!"
The man just stared indifferently down at the pool of blood forming, like watching a common puddle form on a gray day.
He clicked his tongue, "I don't have time for this," and walked off.
"DAD PLEASE." Even though it was the first time in a long time, he called the man dad; the man never returned. Lou's eyes misted over. He had to think fast. His eyes landed on the landmine phone buried under the rubbish. Clearing his throat, he brought his face closer to Cherry's. "I'll fix this. You'll be okay. I promise."
Muffled sounds pulled her from her sleep, the dull ache at the back of her head forcing her to blink and bring the fuzzy shapes above her into focus. "Sweetheart, can you hear me?" Her mom whispered as she grasped Cherry's hand, to stop her from touching her bandaged head and instead clasped it in her own hand.
"You gave us a fright." Her dad joined in, standing on the other side of the hospital bed, he placed his hand on her shoulder.
With her brain clouded with unknown drugs, she struggled to focus as her gaze wandered around the room. She registered the curtain divider and the IV line connected to her hand before a weak croak left her lips: "Why am I here?"
"That's what we would like to know. What have you been up to these past months to have you land in the hospital!"
"Honey, take it easy. Cherry just woke up. Cherry, a boy asked us to let you know he was sorry."
Dazed, she slowly blinked her round eyes and tilted her head to the side. "A boy?"