The scent of white roses and old hymnals hung thick in the air, but to me, it smelled only of a cage.
On the altar stood Wesley, handsome and hollow, waiting for the asset his father had purchased.
I was Lilith, and I was about to commit the first act of defiance of my constrained life.
My satin shoes clicked against the marble floor, each step a countdown. My father's grip on my arm was less paternal, more possessive.
When we reached the altar, Wesley took my hand, his palm cool and indifferent. We were two puppets on parallel strings.
The ceremony began. The pleasantries blurred until the priest arrived at the inevitable question:
"Do you, Wesley, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?"
"I do." The words were automatic, practiced.
"Do you, Lilith, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
My tongue felt thick. The room seemed to tilt. My eyes darted to the front pew: Mother's hopeful smile, my brother's bored expression, Father's cold, expectant stare.
I looked at Wesley, the stranger I was supposed to merge my life with.
"I... I... um... I... d..."
A collective tension filled the air. I took a deep breath, tasting freedom for the first time.
"I... I don't."
A tidal wave of whispers crashed against the quiet church.
"Wesley, you're a wonderful guy," I said, projecting my voice, "but I'm aware you don't want this. You don't want to marry me, you don't love me, and I don't love you either. We're both doing this to make both our dads happy. It's time we make our own decisions."
I turned to my father. The look on his face was pure venom, a promise of the storm that was coming.
"Sorry, Dad, but I can't do this. I can't ruin my life just to make you happy."
Turning back to my almost-groom, I managed a small, genuine smile.
"Wesley, I hope we could be friends in the future."
"Sure," he replied, a strange relief washing over his features.
I leaned in close so only he could hear my final exit line:
"Now if you'd excuse me, I gotta go before my dad hangs my head up on the wall."
I ran. I ran out of the church, down the street, and eventually to Joyce's place, still clad in white satin that felt more like a straitjacket than a wedding dress.
"Lilith! Oh, my God. What happened? Aren't you supposed to get married today?" Joyce met me at the door, her eyes wide.
"It's a long story."
"What's going on?"
"I kinda ruined the wedding... I can't marry that guy for heaven's sake. I don't love him, he doesn't love me."
"What did your dad say?"
"Honestly, I don't even want to talk about it. I left the church before he could say a word."
"So what are you going to do now?"
"Um... I'd have to stay with you for a while."
"Okay... but you have to change into something more decent cause you look like Cinderella when she left Prince Charming on the Altar," Joyce said, eyeing my gown.
"Hey, Cinderella never left Prince Charming on the altar, she left him on the day of the royal ball. What kind of fairy tale do you even read?"
"Whatever," Joyce screamed as she made her way to the kitchen. "What would you like to eat?"
"Anything you could find in the fridge," I called back.
Joyce returned with a pack of chips and a glass of milk.
"Manage this... it's all I have now."
"It's better than nothing."
I stayed with Joyce for a short while, but the tension of hiding began to wear on me. I had to face my future, face him.
I went home.
I found my family gathered in the living room, a tribunal waiting for my return.
The silence was heavy, broken only by my father's voice, low and dangerous.
"Where are you coming from?"
"I... I... um... I went... I... went to meet... a friend," I stammered, falling back into the nervous girl I used to be.
My dad rushed toward me, his hand raised to strike, but my mother intercepted him, holding his arm tight.
"You ungrateful piece of shit! After everything I've done for you, you still had to screw things up for me! Why can't you do something right? For once, just once, why can't you make this family proud?"
"Do you want me to sell myself?" I shot back, finding my spine again. "I can't marry someone just because of your partnership with his dad."
"You're nothing but an ungrateful child! You are going to marry him!"
"I'm eighteen, Dad, don't you think I'm old enough to make my own decisions?"
"You can only make your own decisions when you can put a roof over your head, feed yourself, clothe yourself, and pay for your school! But since I did all of that for you, you don't have any decision to make. Now, I was about to say this before, but I'd say it now: Mr. Colin has given us another chance, so you are to marry Wesley!"
"Read my lips, Dad: I WILL NEVER MARRY WESLEY."
That did it. The slap was sudden and sharp, the sting radiating across my face.
"You will marry him like it or not!"
"Then you'd have to take my dead body to the altar!"
He slapped me again. "Leave my house! I don't ever want to see your face again! From today, I no longer have a daughter, and you no longer have a father! Go upstairs and pack your things!"
"Honey, please don't do this... she's still your daughter!" my mother pleaded, tears streaming down her face.
"I'll forgive her, only if she marries Wesley," he said, the cruel light in his eyes unwavering.
"Never! You'd have to kill me!"
"So be it. From now onward, you're hereby cut off from your inheritance, and I disown you. You're to leave my house effective immediately."
"You cut me off my inheritance just because I refuse to marry Wesley? Fine, I'd leave."
I stormed upstairs. Mom followed me, hugging me tightly as I shoved a few essentials into a small backpack.
I left the house with nothing but the small amount of cash Mom managed to press into my hand.
Hey, I'm Lilith, and what you've just witnessed happened five years ago.
Now I'm twenty-three years old, and I work in a successful company as a secretary.
My salary is decent, but I still struggle to manage it.
Ever since I was disowned by Dad, I've been fueled by a cold determination to be successful—to build an empire and rub my wealth all over his face.
But how can I? My salary barely covers my rent.
Work was finally over for the day. I got home, flinging my bag aside. I went to the fridge to see if I could find anything to eat, but unfortunately, the only thing I could find was a bottle of water.
Oh, well. It seems like I'd have to sleep without food tonight.
I brought out my laptop and walked straight to my tiny, uncomfortable bed. I still had some paperwork to attend to before collapsing.
I took a few sips of the water and began my work, the faint sting in my heart a constant reminder of the life I chose to leave behind—and the life I still had to fight for.
After typing for many hours, I was finally done with everything. Exhausted and hungry, I fell asleep, the hunger a familiar ache.