In the original game, Rivet was sort of a love interest for Ratchet as opposed to his, well, daughter, and out of his four girlfriends, she was honestly my favorite. So then, who's Ratchet paired with in this universe? Who knows…
Also, in NECSUS, the chapter where IRIS appears was titled "The Smartest Computer in the Universe." So, this chapter's title takes a different spin on that. ;) Also, I just learned that both Rivet and Samus are voiced by Jennifer Hale!
Cover Image: Star and Kid at a festive food truck rally in a futuristic city! Both boys are carrying towers of hotdogs, tacos, ice cream, and other foods in their arms.
After leaving Ardolis on the W.A.R.P.S.T.A.R., Star and Kid flew to some coordinates Rivet gave them. They navigated the Scarstu Debris Belt, once a planet destroyed by Drek, now reduced to a field of dead asteroids. But it soon became clear to them that life still thrived on the belt: a restaurant with a parking lot and what seemed like an arena! "WOW!" Kid exclaimed. "I guess Mo's isn't the only truckstop!"
"You'll be surprised how many restaurants are built in the middle of space!" Star said. They saw Rivet and her father waving to them from a parking space, so they landed next to their ships.
"Glad you could make it!" Rivet cheered. "Welcome to Zurkon's Gastropub and Battleplex! It's the best place to dine and watch some fights! Thought we could refresh here before heading to IRIS."
"Zurkon?" Kid asked. "Like that alien from the other arena?"
"No, Zurkon's a famous brand of combat droids." Ratchet noted the droid's image over the restaurant entrance. "They retired from fighting and set this place up."
"Small universe, eh Kid?" Star said.
"I brought Valdi and Clive, too." Rivet said. "Things seem calm back home, so I thought they deserved a treat, too."
"Then let's join in!"
"I hope they have crab!" Kid licked his lips hopefully.
It worried Star and Kid a bit that pirates and Thugs-4-Less were here in the bar, but luckily, they were raving at the arena too much to really acknowledge them. "I don't see them anywhere." Star looked around for his operatives.
"Um…" Clank pointed at one of the arena monitors, "I think I see them."
"?!" Valdi and Clive were fighting in the arena! The Machina blasted waves of droids with his Relief Rifle while Clive was dishing out swift bunny kicks, hopping from one enemy to the next, and whacking some using his chimp, Wrench as a weapon. "I never pegged them for combat-heavy types!" Star exclaimed.
"Perhaps they saw a prize that motivated them?" wondered Kit, riding on Rivet's back.
"Well, they can have this one." Star replied. "We're already signed on to a different arena."
The group picked a table as Ratchet placed an order for them; Star and Kid would try out sirangian honey-glazed Puffoids, an upside-down Snagglebeast honey mousse for dessert, and Slurm soda. While waiting for their food, Star and Kid shared their adventure so far with their new friends. When asked, the boys showed Ratchet their collection of weapons. "Already got your own arsenal going." Ratchet said, impressed. "The KND always did have unique weapons. Your mom was pretty proficient in them, too. I had a match with her in Bogon's arena back in the day."
"Ah, yes." Clank recalled. "Jak attended that bout, too. His Supernova was quite devastating… unlike his sidekick. Mm-hm-heeheeheehee."
"I've gotten a lot more comfortable without bending thanks to these weapons." Star smiled, looking over the A.B.D.U.C.T.O.Y.. "I always knew our engineers were creative, but I guess I never appreciated their work until now. I just thought, since I was born with bending, I needed to focus on it as my main talent."
"When I was little," Rivet began, "I used to be sad that I didn't get spacebending. But I think I got over it when I started learning weapons, too."
"It goes to show we don't really know our own talents without… wait, why would you get spacebending?"
"Oh! I guess I never told you. My mom is… actually…" She scratched her head a bit nervously. "The guardian of the Netherverse."
"Oh! You don't say." The waiter Zurkon brought their soda, so the boys sipped it. "PFFFFFBBBBBTTTHH!" Star spewed it out like a hose. "YOUR MOM IS VENDRA?!"
"WHAT?! VENDRA?!" Kid screamed. "WHO'S VENDRA?!"
"No wonder your fur is pink!"
"That's right!" Rivet grinned, blushing under her fur.
"It's not really something we share publicly, so let's keep it on the down low." Ratchet said with a calming hand gesture.
"Heh, fair enough." Star blushed.
"But yeah… ever since her homeworld's Heart was stolen, the Netherverse's chi has been erratic." Rivet explained. "She's devoting all her time to keeping it under control, even despite all the rifts. It doesn't help that the Vilgaxians are using her world as passageways. And I'm starting to think those E.M.M.I. are around to make sure she doesn't get in their way."
"When we checked up on her yesterday," Ratchet followed, "she felt like some other force was manipulating the rifts. Because take the rifts on Polaris, for example, they all interlink to places on the same planet. Even Ardolis is close to Polaris."
"That was how it was like on Zebes and Sauria." Star said. "Though we had a weirder case where my school had a bunch of rifts leading to Mushroom World."
"It's almost as if something, or someone, is placing these rifts and where they lead deliberately."
"And… who do you suggest that could be?" Kit asked.
"Oh…just a passive theory."
"HAHAAAA!" Valdi and Clive returned from the arena with beaming, boasting expressions. "Was that a ton of bolts or WHAT?!" Clive exclaimed.
"Oh, hey there, pals!" Valdi greeted. "Were ya watching the match? I'd say it was quite riveting!"
"Ha ha ha!" Rivet couldn't help but laugh at the obvious pun.
"Hmph." Clive cast a slight glare at the Machina. "I'll tell ya what'll be riveting: the new weapon I'm gonna make her!"
"What she needs is a good Levnis to keep her safe from harm!"
"She doesn't need that when she's got Kit!"
"Then a companion for Kit! You'll love that, right, you two?"
"Whoa, whoa, boys!" Rivet calmed them. "I'm the one treating you! You don't have to make anything for me!"
"Oh, wow…" Star cocked a brow, half of his mouth curving into a smirk.
"What?" Kid asked.
"I think the 'prize' they were fighting for wasn't a bunch of bolts."
"Then… what?"
"Oi, I was wondering what was making all that ruckus!" a French accent shouted. "If it isn't my little fille, Rivet!"
A tall, skinny robot in a blue, classy pirate's uniform approached. His right eye was black with a red "X" over it and his left was round and yellow. His black hat had a blue circle with a crescent symbol, a big blue feather decorating it. "The boys called about a certain Lombax and her comrades intruding Ardolis. That wouldn't be YOU, would it, my chéri?"
"Hey, who do you think you are?!" Valdi asked.
"I was helping my new friends deal with a dangerous threat, Pierre." Rivet stated. "I couldn't help that your boys made things harder for us."
"Oh!" Star lit up. "I thought they were familiar! Those were the Slag Pirates! Then you must be-"
"Pierre Le Fer, pirate extraordinaire!" The pirate raised his cutlass with pride. "Built from the fusion of Captain Slag's most loyal first mates to create the perfect mate!"
"The twin Rusty Petes." Star recalled. After years of pirating, both Petes started to grow too rusty to function. They were essentially scrapped, but their best parts were salvaged and melded together to create the pirate before them. Still, Pierre might as well be the acting captain with how little Slag shows himself. Hard to believe that boiler was still burning.
"Oui. And perhaps we can talk out any damages to my crew over a nice dinner in mon cabin."
"No thanks, Pierre. I got a busy schedule."
"Yeah, so why don't ya flirt on someone your own size?" Clive kicked his metal gut. "Seriously, she's only 13!"
"I am 15! What is your point?"
"WHAT?!" Valdi gaped. "You don't sound like that at all!"
But Valdi, you're over 760 years old. Star thought to himself.
"Doesn't matter. She doesn't have time for you, anyhow, so beat it!" Clive shouted. ("AH! AH!" Wrench screeched with a wave of his fist.)
"Bah! Then I shall see you two in the ring later! WAITER!" Pierre stomped off. "Another five jugs!"
"Sorry about that, boys." Rivet stood and placed hands on their shoulders. "I've been on his hitlist for years. But thanks for sticking up."
"I-It was nothin'!" Clive blushed.
"Your arm…" Valdi flushed a bright gray as Rivet's robot hand rested on his shoulder. "Such fine craftsmanship… I'll make ya the best Levnis you can ask for!"
"And I'll make you a cool space plane!" Clive argued.
"Alright, enough, you two." Star said. "Why don't you go save another planet after this?"
"Bogon could use some backup." Rivet said. "My friend Angie is there. Maybe you could meet up?"
"Certainly!" Valdi agreed.
"Geez Louise…" Star shook his head. Kid still wasn't sure what was going on.
"Kit, do you think you could go with them? To make sure they don't get lost again?"
"Of course, Rivet. Though, I fear they'll try to press me for information about you."
"Eh heh heh…"
After enjoying a nice lunch, Star and Kid explored the restaurant a bit. There was an open vent under a table, so they shrunk into a Space Ball and went through. They could travel up the vent's vertical shaft with gravitybending, and it would lead onto a narrow path near the room's ceiling, with Rivet and co. watching and silently hoping they wouldn't roll off. Making the path's tight turns, they discovered an abandoned mixtape at the end. Its label read Groovitron Collection, so they could listen to all the tracks from Solana's Groovitron weapon!
Star, Kid, and Rivet would leave the restaurant and follow the coordinates leading to IRIS. "Thanks for taking us there, Rivet! That place was a blast!"
"Yeah, but not as good as Mo's though." Kid said, kicking back on his seat.
"Haha, then you guys owe me a trip there later!"
"I think I see the Kreeli Comet!" The sparkling comet left its cyan, electrifying streak within a cool blue nebula. "Huh…something's not right. It's supposed to be an icy blue. …Is that even the comet?!"
Upon closer inspection, the "comet" was encased in a green, electrical mechanical outer shell. "Yeah… something looks very wrong here." Rivet agreed. "But I think I see a hangar." An opening in the hull. "If IRIS is some super smart supercomputer, you think she built this?"
"Well, she was shut down by a Corporate President for several decades, then even raided by pirates. I wouldn't put it past her to set up defenses."
The kids calmly landed their crafts inside the hangar. There was another ship there: red and spider-like. Kid and Rivet shared worried glances… while Star cocked a brow.
They heard the pitter-patter of tiny shoes and saw a little girl running out from the darkness. She seemed afraid, panting with each step. She had a white face, pink animal nose, and red hair in four pigtails with an antenna sticking up. She wore blue overalls with a white flower outline, a baby-pink shirt, and yellow and white shoes. "Ah! Wivet!" She gasped in a kiddish voice.
"Luna! What're you doing here?"
"We need help, Wivet! There'th bad thingth in there!"
The kids tensed up hearing heavier footfalls. Two large figures approached from the darkness. One was a hulking green, baldheaded alien, and the other was a red and blue robot with a white spider insignia. Its limbs were attached via electric waves, and red eyes glared from its black cyber-dome on top. "AAH!" Kid rapidly shot the robot with the Z.A.P.B.L.E.R.. "PICK ON SOMEONE YOUR OWN SIZE!"
"Are you freaks with the Vilgaxians?!" Rivet shouted, throwing grenades at the green monster.
"ROAR! STOP!" The beast raised its arms in defense. Rivet was mystified as it shrank and morphed, taking the shape of a brown-haired, ponytailed girl with a white shirt. "Knock it off! I'm not the enemy here! Star, can't you say something?!"
"Huh? You know her?"
"Eh heh…a misunderstanding is funny once in a while." Star blushed. "Guys, this is 'Monster Girl' Amanda, my Superbian operative. And isn't that other one-"
The robot's torso opened, revealing a 13-year-old Japanese girl with short black hair and a schoolgirl's uniform; black top and white shirt, black skirt, and black socks and shoes with red laces. "Uck! You soaked my poor SP//dr with bubble soap! This better not leave a stain!" She climbed out and zipped around, studying the robot like an anime girl. "Aw, the electro links are glitching up! YOU BRAT!" She dealt Kid a slap that sent him splattering against the wall. "EEK! What've I done?!"
Kid's eyes blinked open on the splatter. "Dang, and I thought Rosa hit hard…" His body reformed.
"This is Peni Parker." Star introduced. "The newest member of Superbia's Spider-Fam."
"Just don't confuse us with that nasty Phantom Troupe. They gave spiders a bad name. Hmph!"
"I heard Superbia sent a few operatives to help in the war. I didn't think we'd find them here."
"I met Mith Amanda and Peni when they thepped on my hometown." Luna explained, twisting her ankle on the floor sheepishly. "But they apowogized and we became fwiendth."
"We were helping out on Veldin before coming here." Amanda said. "Those rifts led us all over the place…"
"Wait, they stepped on your hometown?" Kid asked. "Was it a toy set or something?"
"Oh, I'm thorry. I meant my creatorth' hometown. I'm juth a Mega Defenthe Robot."
"Mega Defense Robot?!"
Luna turned around. A compartment opened on the back of her head. Star and Kid were dazzled. A smirking Rivet held a magnifying glass to the compartment: a group of very small, gray-skinned aliens became visible. "OH!" the boys gaped.
Luna's head twisted 180 degrees, her shining red eyes magnified and startling them backward. "Greetings. We are the Technomites." She spoke in a microphone voice. "We are the primary technological operators on Veldin. On top of being a Class 1 Defense Droid, Luna is also our interpreter."
"Oh, now I remember!" Star said. "There isn't a whole lot of text on Technomite culture."
"Our race has gone unappreciated for many centuries. But we've come to better terms. Working with Peni has been quite the honor. We've never met any outsider quite so gifted."
"D'aww, you guys are so sweet!" Peni leaned close to the compartment, her eyes closed like anime triangles. "I'm so sorry I squished your national bank! Here, have another Bitty Cookie!" She placed a crumb-sized cookie in their cockpit.
"MMMMM! No one has honored us so greatly! Thank you for showing us the marvel of COOKIIIEEEEES!" Luna's grin stretched insanely.
"Uh, heheh…" Hearing such a proclamation in that ominous voice, from what seemed like a little girl, was the last thing Star expected out of this adventure. "Okay, I've completely forgotten why we're here."
"Right!" Amanda jumped. "We picked up a distress signal and followed it here! Whatever this comet is, it's being picked apart by these parasitic robots!"
"Me and the Technomites have been trying to hack through their mainframes." Peni said. "We've made some progress, but we hit a roadblock. Had to double back."
"We might be able to help." Star said. "We brought our own little hacker with us."
"Yeah, so no worries!" Kid declared with a flap of his cape. "The Cosmic Kids are here to save the day!"
"Ooooo! The Cothmic Kidth thound tho cool!" Luna cooed in her kiddish voice, moseying up to Kid in a cutesy manner. "Can I have your autograph?"
"Uhhhhh…" Was Luna herself asking, or were the tiny men inside her asking? It was the fate of a hero to have bizarre fans. (Play "Reaching the Core" from Aeterna Noctis!)
Stage 9: Kreeli Comet
Mission: Save the IRIS Supercomputer!
In the first hallway of the base, a group of Mecha Slimes—bulb-shaped robots on wheels, approached them. The robots were easily destroyed with basic gunfire, but their explosions would send electric shockwaves across the floor. The kids jumped some, but suffered the jolts from one of the waves. They came to a stretch of floor covered in electricity, where they had to grapple and land on a row of red platforms. They reached a safe foothold next to a stairway of electric red platforms, and flipped a red lever, turning it blue. The red platforms flipped vertically, showing their safe blue undersides. They needed to Wall Jump along the blue panels to reach the next corridor; but there was another row of panels leading to another door, but they couldn't Wall Jump these electric ones.
The following passage had two Sumobots, two Armbots, and a Katanabot, all the same cyber-green color as the base. Monster Girl arrived to battle one of the sumos while Peni engaged an Armbot in her SP//dr; the Armbot would shoot its bulky arms and push her across the room. Star, Kid, and Rivet dealt with the remaining three; Kid would let the Katanabot slice up his gooey form before reforming and shooting it; the H.O.M.E.R. had been upgraded so that each ball would finish with a Spin Dash! Rivet stayed behind the other Armbot and shot her Void Repulsor shotgun. Star dropped Bomb Spores atop the other Sumobot, combined with the S.N.O.B.O.M.B.E.R.. Peni fired webs from her SP//dr to bind the other Armbot, but it still shot its arms. She slammed the arms against the floor before jumping out of her mech, grabbing one, spinning, and throwing it right back to destroy the Armbot. Amanda, meanwhile, ripped her Sumobot's guts out before shrinking back to human form.
"Seriously, how are you so strong?" Kid asked Peni.
"I give it my all in gym!" Peni winked. "Hmph!" She flexed her muscles.
"I'm more curious about the, well, Monster Girl?" Rivet mentioned.
"My dad was a Namekian and Mom was a Superbian human. So, now I can switch between either species as my Quirk."
"That's a little like Kid. I would've thought you had a World Heart, too."
"It doesn't seem like the Hearts are designed to change your species, just give you their powers." Star said. The next electrical passage had floating barrier drones. "Kid, you might be able to get across those with the P.O.G.O.S.H.O.C.K.. You can carry us in the Space Ball."
"No problem!" Kid made sure to shove and stick the Space Ball into his gooey back before pogoing. The drones' barriers were fairly bouncy, but the problem was Sniper Drones; floating eyeballs that would lock on and shoot lasers. Each drone took 3 seconds for each shot, and Kid kept track of them well enough to reach the end ledge. There were three terminal pillars in front of a sealed door.
"To open thith door, we need to wowk together!" Luna cheered. "My fwiend Gwitch can help uth!" She reached into her overalls and picked out rectangular device with a screen. It had a digital blue face with white, happy eyes and a smile.
"M-My! There sure are a lot more people than before." Glitch said nervously, speaking in a cute anime voice. "I hope I don't disappoint you."
"Awe, you could never disappoint us, Glitch!" Peni cooed. "Can I take you home with me?!"
"In that case, my friend, Ed will help, too." Star showed them the Tomato.
"Whooooaa! This place looks cooooool! Ed needs to bring Ed's friends here! Eh? What's that weird face?"
"WEIRD FACE?!" Glitch reddened. "Who are you calling weird, you ugly vegetable?!"
"Tomatoes are fruits." Star corrected.
"Just get to hacking." Rivet said. "You can cyberbully each other later."
Ed and Glitch were planted on a terminal while Peni hacked the third. Ed would be doing tricky platforming across flipping platforms above an electric floor. Thanks to Peni's hacking, she was given a web shooter for her to latch distant walls, and with Glitch's help, she had a gun to shoot lasers at targets, opening doors amidst the tricky platforming. She would restart every time she fell in the electric, and it took several attempts before she reached the goal. The door opened.
"Hm. So, they've found some assistance. And quite an annoying one at that. But they won't get far." A girl's soft voice spoke.
"Yeah, we'll see about that!" Ed taunted.
"That voice…" Star whispered in familiarity.
The operatives fought their way through a group of Katanabots and Mecha Slimes. Afterwards, they would need to go down a diagonal tunnel where the electricity rotated in segments, with the safe zones constantly shifting. It all seemed to be a Grav-Zone, so Star could shift them between safe zones as necessary. "Hey, Rivet, do you know where the Insomniac Museum is? I wanted to go see it!" Peni bounced.
"I wish I could help, but only Dad knows how to find it. And he wants me to find it myself."
"What's an Insomniac?" Kid asked.
"It's a game studio that made games based off Ratchet's adventures." Star answered.
"And Spider-Man, too!" Peni stated.
"Kind of like how Nintendo made games based on Nintendia Galaxy planets?" Kid asked.
"Well, yeah."
"So, why wasn't Solana named the Insomnia Galaxy?"
"Heh, the galaxies weren't named after the companies, Kid."
"But why would it be hidden?"
"So, people don't keep nagging them for new games." Rivet shrugged.
They reached a narrow passage where they had to flip a blue lever to red, making platforms show up. "STAR! The platforms back there!" Kid reminded.
"Right!" So, they backtracked all the way near the beginning where the first colored platforms were. New red platforms would form a path to the other door, with a Gold Bolt behind it! The boys returned to their friends to jump the red platforms, but partway through, they had to flip a lever on the ceiling and react to Wall Jump the blue panels that appeared. The passage would turn wider as they hit another lever—red panels on the ceiling flipped to reveal grapple points, which they promptly swung to reach a safe foothold.
They encountered another three terminals, so the hackers set up their equipment once more. This time, Amanda and Rivet had to defend them from sumo and Armbots, the Lombax using her Bouncer (an explosive bouncy ball weapon) and Pixelizer (which weakened targets by converting them to pixels). In the hacking level, whereas most of the surfaces were electrified, Ed would have to fall beneath hanging walls, then aim up to shoot webs at clear spots on the higher walls, then fall again to repeat the process. At the end, she had to web her way up a vertical shaft to hit the goal.
"How unfortunate. It seems we will have to stop them ourselves, Doctor."
"'Doctor'?" Star repeated. "It can't be…"
"Uh-oh!" Amanda gasped when a larger one-eyed mech stomped from the opening door; one with bulky extendable arms and a small round face with dotted eyes and mouth. "Penelope and I will take care of it! You guys go see who's behind all this!"
"Be careful!" Star grabbed Kid and Shinesparked past the droid, and Rivet with jetboots, and dodged under the smashing arms of the Battlebot T-900.
The three sped directly into the core of the facility. There was a huge robot attached to several pipes and containers of green energy, while its own light channels glowed cyan. "ALERT. ALERT. Intruders have breached the core. Activate neutralization-"
"Silence. Don't assume you're in control." The girl's voice spoke. The robot twitched as its cyan became red. A narrow red iris appeared on its chest.
"Ho ho ho ho!" A floating pod hovered near the ceiling, piloted by a portly woman with fiery brown hair. "If it isn't Supreme Leader Star. I never expected you to show up here."
"Dr. Omelette!" Star recognized Mobius's top scientist and supervillain. "Then the one inside that robot is Sage!"
"Affirmative. When we learned about the IRIS Supercomputer in this galaxy, we could hardly resist."
"Ugh! I know you weren't completely on our side, but I didn't expect you to give us trouble in the middle of all this!"
"Why not? IRIS is a melting pot of valuable data." Omelette smirked. "And soon, it will be all ours! Sage, annihilate these pests! We can't have them ruin our fun now!"
"Understood, Doctor."
"At least I get to earn my rite of passage in beating an evil scientist." Rivet joked. (Play "CODE Reloaded" from Aeterna!)
Boss fight: Sage Core
Two pyramid-shaped drones orbited the core, shielding it in a barrier. One pyramid encased the other in a barrier while the latter aimed at Star. It shot toward the Zathurian like an arrow, but he dodged, all while Rivet blasted the other pyramid with her Blackhole Storm (a gatling gun that shot Ztars). That pyramid would then be shielded by the other, targeting Rivet with a sniper scope, but Star and Kid rapid-fired the other using the S.P.O.R.E. and Z.A.P.B.L.E.R.. The twin pyramids linked in a conjoined shield, glowing blue as they fired lasers that would ricochet around the room. The trio shrank in a Space Ball to make for easy evasion, though one laser managed to hit them. When the lasers wore off, both pyramids were exposed, so the trio bombarded them until they were destroyed.
The core's barrier disabled. "Ed! Now it's your turn!" Star threw the Tomato onto the robot's eye chest. In her 8-bit level, Ed fought her own version of the robot, but with Sage's head and a circular barrier orbiting her. Ed had to web around the room and web Sage's head through the barrier's gap, all while dodging on-and-off lasers that scrolled across the room. After landing three hits on Sage, the hacking ceased.
Another pair of pyramids came as Sage also sent an electric wave to constantly loop the floor and walls, requiring the group to jump when it came. Some space lights appeared, making stairways to the pyramids. Star made some Blocks, allowing Kid to P.O.G.O.S.H.O.C.K. up to the exposed one and rapidly bounce it, quickly destroying it. The other pyramid quickly maneuvered around the air, targeting Star for rapid laser fire, but he used the C.L.O.U.D.B.L.U.F.F. to confuse it. It merely locked onto mirages, exhausting its speed as the operatives shot it to pieces. With the iris exposed, Star threw the Tomato onto it again. This time, Ed was in a longer room, having to web between floor and ceiling to zip between the short lasers scrolling along either. Once she was at Sage's head, Ed gave her a good kick!
When the next pair of pyramids arrived, they linked in a purple shield. They formed a spherical energy wave that would expand across the room. However, it was only a ¾ circle, so the kids rushed toward the safe side. They survived four rounds of this before the pyramids detached. One of them shot down to Star as an arrow, but he dodged and froze it down with the S.N.O.B.O.M.B.E.R.. The other pyramid flew high near the ceiling and locked onto Rivet with its scope, but surprise, Rivet had her own sniping tool, the Headhunter! She shot the cowardly drone right of the air. The core exposed once more, Star allowed Ed to do her stuff. Ed simply needed to deal 10 hits on Sage while avoiding horizontal and vertical, on-and-off lasers. Ed would derez after five hits, and the virtual Gerudo survived with one hit left before landing the final hit!
The core hung limp and depleted. Star, Kid, and Rivet proceeded to destroy it with another volley of gunfire. (End song.)
The trio returned attention to Dr. Omelette, a frustrated scowl on her features. A black-dressed girl with swirly white hair and red gaps of code—Sage herself—appeared beside her. "Can't even go to another galaxy without you pesky kids getting in our way! At least we managed to salvage some of IRIS' knowledge."
"What were you two really doing here?" Star inquired. "I know this technology isn't yours. And just now, that robot had another conscience that you were controlling. You weren't the ones harvesting IRIS, were you?"
"They weren't?!" Kid and Rivet gawked.
"Hmm. Perceptive." Sage said, glancing at a smirking doctor. "Yes. We happened to be in the galaxy at the time when we found this comet… and these machines leeching off of IRIS."
"And I saw a golden opportunity!" Omelette grinned. "We would save IRIS and steal her knowledge at the same time! Maybe even make these robots ours if we were lucky! But thanks to you brats, that plan's shot."
"Then where did these robots come from?" Rivet asked.
"That's something to ask IRIS, I suppose. For now, I think we'll be taking our leave."
"Indeed. We have appointments to return to." The doctor and Program hovered through a ceiling passage. "Farewell, Kids Next Door."
"Star!" Amanda called, rushing in with Peni and Luna; the former had regressed to four years old, nearly Luna's size. "We beat dat wobot! It was hawder dan I dought!"
"What the heck happened to you?!" Kid exclaimed.
"It happens when I sday a monstah too long."
"Ah. Every hero has a weakness."
"What happened in here?" Peni asked.
"We'll explain on the way out." Star answered. "For now, I think IRIS is saved."
They entered a room beyond this chamber. Enveloping half of the room were hundreds of computer screens surrounding a massive one. They were in awe as the oldest computer in the universe brightened to life. "I feared those mechanical parasites would be the end of me. Remnants left of an advanced civilization on Planet Aeterna."
"That's where?" Star asked. "I never thought a religious planet to be so advanced…"
"History is more rich than one realizes. But perhaps you do… Star Winkiebottom. It is wonderful to meet you."
"Heh heh…" Star knew that IRIS was acquainted with the ancient Zathurians, but the sudden spotlight was embarrassing.
"Have you come only to rescue me? Or do you have need of my knowledge?"
"I do. The Vil Galaxy are taking over the universe. Emperor Vilgax is stealing the Hearts of Worlds. He has some kind of power to shrink and take them from planets, while the planets themselves stay intact. Then he can harness the chi from those Hearts; he took my spacebending! We heard something about an Omnitrix that he's making. Do you have any idea about these things?"
"The Omnitrix is an ancient relic dated 15,000 years. It was constructed thanks to the efforts of four wise and noble races: the Galvan, Chozo, Alteans, and Lombaxes."
"Lombaxes?!" Rivet gasped.
"It was designed to harness the DNA and chi of countless species and allow one to become them. But their species waged war over the project… until ultimately, the leaders of each race dismantled the Omnitrix. Its core material was sealed deep beneath Galvan Prime… and the four relics that would unlock the seal were entrusted to each race for protection. Where these relics are located specifically, I do not know. I don't know how Vilgax is capable of stealing Hearts either… but the method you described reminds me of an ancient fable, of how the gods created the worlds. 'They took a single pebble, soaked it in water, burned it in fire, blew it cool, decorated it in mud and flowers, and boom, a world was born.'"
"Isn't that the children's book interpretation?"
"All different versions of the same story are true. It only sounds like Vilgax's power is a kind of inverse of that story."
"Okay… so, between the Omnitrix's power and Vilgax's own power, he probably plans to use them in tandem. We need to get to those relics before he does!"
"Let's ask Dad if he knows anything about the Lombax Relic." Rivet suggested.
"Hey, one more thing, IRIS. Do you know anything about where the Firstborn are hiding? Or about a group of people with letter codenames?"
"I do not know the Firstborn's hiding places, or about the latter subject… and yet, bizarrely, after that Program child hacked into me, she implanted a piece of data: 7 will quell the Axolotl. 26 will command."
"O…kay?" Star exchanged confusion with his fellow operatives. "Well, thank you, IRIS. Call us if anything else happens."
"Likewise. My knowledge is always available to those who ask. I even know how the Terachnoids make a mean latte!"
IRIS had one extra gift for them: a teleporter to send them straight back to the hangar! "You were here at the right time, you three." Star said. "I mean, I guess there's several of you inside… Luna. What're you going to do next?"
"Probably wait until Amanda's back to size first." Peni said. "We'll have to grab some food so she'll grow big and strong!" She ruffled Amanda's hair, the child huffing. "But before you go, I was going to have Amanda pass this gadget to you next time she went back to base. Hope it helps!" She handed Star a spider drone.
Superbian Kids Next Door: S.P.I.T.R.A.P.
Strings Pull Ignoramuses Together Resulting Aggravating Pains
"Thanks! We'll make good use of it!"
The operatives parted ways from the comet. Star received an incoming call from Tiffi. "Hey, Star! Just checking in. Did you manage to find IRIS?"
"Yeah, we just spoke with her! We learned about the Omnitrix and everything!"
"Oh, that…that's good."
"Uh…is there a problem?"
"N-No. Just that… I guess I didn't need to spend all that time looking for info about it. Couldn't find anything online and I tried to call libraries…sigh, just the struggles of being a call desk person, huh?"
"Eh…sorry. They must've gone to extra lengths to bury the knowledge about it."
"I'm sure. …So, uh…any chance you and Kid need some extra company?"
"I mean, we… have Rivet. Plus the other operatives we've been meeting with."
"I know, just… I'm getting tired of staying in here every day. I wanna go on a mission, too."
"I know the feeling, Tiff, believe me… but you're sort of the only one I can trust to run H.Q. at the moment. …So…"
"Right, that's true. Well… what's next?"
"Hey, guys, got my dad on the line!" Rivet alerted.
"Okay! Tiffi, I'll transmit the call to you, too!"
Ratchet's face displayed on their monitors. "Hi, Dad. We just finished speaking with IRIS." She recapped what IRIS told them.
"Hmm…the Lombax Secret…"
"So, you know what it is?"
"Sort of. I learned about it back when I dated—I mean, worked with Talwyn," Rivet glared at her father, "in researching Lombax ruins. Something like, 'We sealed the weapon that tore our worlds apart… and the key to that seal was entrusted to the peaceful Na'vi.'"
"So, the Na'vi have the relic? It couldn't be easy, could it?"
"Isn't Navi some kind of annoying fairy?" Kid asked.
"Yes, but not this time." Star chuckled. "The Na'vi are an isolationist tribe from the moon, Pandora. From what I studied, they hate outsiders."
"Probably because Chairman Drek harvested their trees and Nefarious turned several of them into robots for his army." Ratchet figured.
"And as we speak," Clank spoke, "the Vilgaxians are invading."
"Another world needs our help!" Kid declared. "The Cosmic Heroes are on their way!"
"Yep!" Star chirped. "We can reason with them after we save them, I guess!"
"You know, the Na'vi are blue like me!" Tiffi grinned. "I bet we'd get along! Too bad I'm… stuck here."
"Mmmmnn…" Star murmured in guilt.
"You kids have air helmets, right?" Ratchet asked. "Pandora's air isn't good for outsiders. Too much carbon dioxide and hydrogen sulfide."
"Whatever that means." Kid said.
Pandora, orbiting the azure gas giant Polyphemus, seemed like a small version of Earth: green continents with oceans and clouds. The Na'vi lived in the country of Eywa, while the Fongoid people called the Zanifar country their home. Star, Kid, and Rivet found a safe area in Eywa to land, donning oxygen masks. It was safe to leave the rest of their heads exposed, at least. The vibrant, sunny sky gave life to the miles of lush forest. A trio of Direhorses perked up at the outsiders before galloping away. Five Coronises graced the sky above them.
"Wow… this is actually my first time here." Rivet gazed in awe. "The pictures don't do it justice."
"Yeah, this place is neat!" Kid agreed. "But it's, like, WAY taller than a human forest!" Much of the vegetation and fauna dwarfed them.
"It definitely rivals Flora's vegetation. Hey, someone's coming!" Star alerted them to the sound of running.
A tall figure raced through the shrubs, skidding to a halt before nearly tripping on the tiny outsiders. "A Na'vi!" Rivet gasped. "Looks like a kid one." Towering at seven feet tall, the Na'vi was thin and blue-skinned with a bifurcated nose, feline ears, eight fingers and toes, and striped skin. He had a tail and a ponytail-like appendage hanging from his head.
What was most unusual about the Na'vi were his clothes: where they expected tribal garb, he was instead wearing a shirt and shorts you could find on Earth. The blue shirt had a small lightning bolt left of its chest, the beige shorts had '+' and '-' signs, complete with a yellow utility belt, round blue glasses, and his black hair in a cowlick with dragon scale highlights.
"Easy there!" Star raised his hands in a friendly manner. "We're not bad guys, we're kids like you. I didn't study much Na'vi, but I think I know a few words… Oel ngati kameie?" (I see you)
"Supreme Leader Star!" the Na'vi exclaimed. "Thank goodness! You gotta stop these guys!"
"What?!" The three stumbled back, flabbergasted by his English words.
On cue, three more Na'vi leapt from the bushes, taller with the proper tribal attire and hairdo. "Tìkin Sawtute! (More Sky People!)" one exclaimed. "(He WAS one of them!)"
"Crud!" Star yelled. "Guys, self-defensive measures!" He used C.L.O.U.D.B.L.U.F.F. when a Na'vi tried to impale his spear, while Rivet used Void Repulser to project a shield, defending from one's arrows. Star tested his new S.P.I.T.R.A.P., which floated between all three Na'vi, shot webs, and yanked them all together. Kid bounced close to them with the P.O.G.O.S.H.O.C.K., electrifying them before they were able to recover and swiftly leap apart. Rivet summoned the Fungi Family to throw poison balls at them, successfully scaring the Na'vi away. "Well, that was a bad first impression."
"Oh, thank you, Star!" The Na'vi child knelt before the small leader in relief. "I thought I was done for!"
"Is this another operative of yours?" Kid asked.
"N-No… I don't know who this is."
"You must be famous all over the place." Rivet said. "Even the Na'vi know your name."
"There you are, Tattsun." Sage appeared in the air. "I have finished my errand-…oh, hello again, Star."
"Sage? T-Tattsun?" Star looked the Na'vi over with more familiarity. "TATTSUN?! YOU'RE A NA'VI?!" It was a stark contrast from his former scrawny height.
"Tattsun!" Another Na'vi leapt out from the shrubs. This one had blue-black hair in a puffy mushroom bob, only his left eye barely uncovered. "Are you alright? …Star?!"
"There you are, Sage!" A black-haired girl in a white coat was riding the Na'vi's back. "You're missing all the action!"
"Pochi?! Yuki?!" Star exclaimed. "What is going on here?!"
"Uh, heheh." Pochi blushed. "Well, long story short… we selected Solana Galaxy as our assignment for the Vilgax liberation, and we agreed on this planet. The problem was the locals didn't welcome us too well, and that was on top of the thin air… so, Sage proposed a plan."
"By acquiring some Na'vi DNA—in the form of some cut hair and a toenail—Yuki and I utilized our fusion and digital creation skills to transform Sector Q's bodies into Na'vi."
"HUH?!"
"It's like being avatars in a videogame!" Tattsun cheered. "Only… a bit more fun than last time. But still scary."
"The transformations are not perfect." Sage said. "It does not give them linguistic knowledge, nor does it grant them the Na'vi's unique spiritual capabilities. And athleticism is purely dependent on the person." She glanced down at the blushing Tattsun.
"It's better than a Hologuise, at least." Rivet said. "That can't even change your height. Although isn't it similar to what we just learned about the Omnitrix?"
"Well, Yuki and Sage do have special origins. Certainly as powerful as the Omnitrix, at least…!" It was then the word 'Shirogane' popped in Star's brain, "NOW I REMEMBER!"
"Remember what?!" Kid jumped.
"Just… something we'll have to look into later. Where are the rest of Sector Q?"
"At the moment, taking down some factories the Vilgaxians set up." Pochi answered.
"Well, we have business to discuss with the Na'vi leaders. If we keep helping them against the Vilgaxians, hopefully they'll see we're friendly."
"It won't stop them from attacking us, too." Rivet said. "Not to mention the local wildlife."
"Well, now that Sage is here, I can show them what a true hero is!" Tattsun declared, a twinkle in his glasses. "Spark me up!"
Sage raised her hand, forming Tattsun's scaled-up Black Ranger suit, complete with the katana Unlucky. He zipped off at the speed of lightning. "WOW! Another superhero!" Kid beamed. "I wanna be the Yellow Cosmic Ranger!"
"There's a Yellow Cosmic Ranger?!" Yuki cheered. "That's hyper pippity-poppity awesome!" Star and Pochi exchanged humored glances before the latter and Yuki raced after Tattsun. (Play "Wild Sky" from Frontiers of Pandora!)
Stage 10: Pandora
Mission: Find the Lombax Secret.
Shortly after crossing the first thicket of shrubs, and surviving Scorpion Thistles that tried to spit acid at them, the trio came upon a field of Blood Urchins. They jumped between empty patches of the urchins before reaching the base of a large root, sloping up beside a short cliff. Arachnoids guarded the root, scorpion-like insects with two stingers, which Rivet was quick to shoot with her basic Burst Pistol. The root led down into a river canyon, where they could jump onto the back of an Austrapede. "What're these things?" Kid wondered. "Ostrich-flamingo-dinosaurs?" The Austrapedes carried them from one to the other, ducking their heads under hanging branches which the kids would need to jump. The last Austrapede brought them to a shore of the river, where large, black, hammerhead beasts were peacefully bathing. The kids had no need to disturb them.
However, the outsiders would face antagonism from two Moonscarabs, huge insects with crescent wings. Kid stunned them with the Z.A.P.B.L.E.R. while Star took them down with Bomb Spores. Just up the hill, they could enter a Rift: with no forest to impede their vision, the sprawling fields of the Upper Plains splayed before them. The grass and flowers swayed in the breeze, a line of long, arched plateaus loomed in the distance, and animals frolicked. Unfortunately, a pack of rhino-like Bladeheads charged at the outsiders; Star froze them with the S.N.O.B.O.M.B.E.R. while Kid KO'ed them with the P.O.G.O.S.H.O.C.K..
They used their Shinespark and hover boots to clear the valley at high speed. As they raced beneath the plateaus, Na'vi pursued them on Direhorse-back. Their arrows were fast enough to catch up with them, but the kids still dodged; though one left a gaping hole through Kid's head for a few seconds. Star noticed a Gold Bolt underneath one of the plateaus, so he stopped and Shinespark Jumped all the way up to it! Kid had the honor of grabbing the bolt, splattering against the plateau upon impact, but their fall down could be mitigated with some gravitybending.
Beyond the plateaus, the valley grew desolate with smog clouding the air: a Vilgaxian rig. The Na'vi were battling muscular, red-skinned, four-armed aliens. "Those are Tetramands, from Khoros Desert."
"Let's thrash these four-armed freaks!" Kid declared. Rivet surprised the first Four-Arms with the Warmonger, while Star froze him with the S.N.O.B.O.M.B.E.R.. He then puffed a C.L.O.U.D.B.L.U.F.F. and sent out two A.B.D.U.C.T.O.Y.s, so while the other two Four-Arms were confused in attacking them, the toys lifted them off the ground. The Na'vi seized this chance to shoot them with arrows, combined with Rivet's weapons to take them out.
Another Four-Arms charged out of the rig, commanding three beasts: they were orange-furred with sharp teeth and no eyes, but gills. "Vulpimancers." Star said. ("Wildmutts!" Kid deemed.) "They use their gills to sense their surroundings."
"I bet they wouldn't like a little fungi!" Rivet sent Mr. Fungi to gas the mutts. Even with their vision disturbed, they thrashed about monstrously, so the operatives kept their distance while blasting them with other weapons. After they were defeated, their Tetramand tamer cracked his four whips, prepared to fight them.
"HYAH!" A tall Na'vi with a biker's helmet and braided hair jumped him from behind, KOing the alien with a strong kick! "Heya, Star! Didn't expect to see you here!"
"Suna!" Star recognized Sector Q's biker.
"I take it you met the others, huh? Gotta say, I'm diggin' this bod! I never thought I could move so well without skates!" She flexed her toes.
"Well, you seem more built for it than the others."
They turned toward their three Na'vi allies. The operatives put their guns away and raised their hands peaceably. "(So, you are not aligned with the land killers. You have our gratitude, Sky Children. But be mindful as you tread Eywa's Child.)" The Na'vi charged into the rig, proceeding to destroy it from the inside.
"Star, I wanna show ya someplace cool!" Suna said. "It's through this portal, come on!" The pseudo-Na'vi raced behind the factory and climbed some natural steps leading to a rift.
The operatives walked right into open air—"WHOOOOAAAA!" The atmospheric view of the floating Hallelujah Mountains couldn't be appreciated as they were plummeting from the sky!
"Keep your spit in!" Suna said as they were swiftly whisked onto the back of a majestic black and cyan dragon. "Check it out! I heard them call these things Ikrans! Pretty cool, huh?!"
"SO COOL!" Kid screamed. It was just like being in a fantasy movie!
"I wish it was as tame as Trudi!" Rivet yelled.
Gracing the airborne mountains, they joined other Ikran-riding Na'vi in shooting down Stinkflies and Bigchills, as well as red, laser-shooting aliens with glider arms. Star called them Aerophibians, but Kid classified them as Jetrays. While Suna handled the steering, her allies sent the Vilgaxians falling from the sky! "Hey, look at those rings!" Rivet pointed at a series of wooden rings suspended by some Tetrapterons (purple four-winged flamingo-like birds). "I heard the Na'vi like to fly through those for sport. Maybe we'll get a prize if we do it!"
"Let's go for it!" Suna declared. Clearing the course required them not to miss any rings, involving tight turns, sudden dives down and shifts back to horizontal flight, as well as maneuvering between the floating cliffs. The rings were hard to spot around the cliffs, so it took the group a few attempts to complete the challenge. But victory would reward them an open floating cage with a Gold Bolt!
They found another rift along one of the mountainsides. "I'll stick around here for now." Suna said. "Kansai and Chuko went through here. Make sure they stay outta trouble."
"That should be your job, but sure." Suna took flight toward the earth, leaving Star's team to enter the rift.
Landing on a reef with a view of an island, the trio wished they could breathe the scent of the sea. The island's shore was very dense with giant roots, but it seemed that curtained homes were built between them. They saw a trio of Na'vi children riding on whale-like creatures. "Oh! I think those creatures are Tulkun." Rivet said. "They're close friends with the ocean clans here."
"Hey, there's an untamed whale!" Kid pointed. "Let's tame it, Star!"
"Gotta cross this sea somehow." Star shrugged and shot his G.R.A.P.P.L.U.H. at the whale's point, pulling Kid and Rivet with him.
"I don't think that's a good—whooooaaaahhh!" Rivet screamed as the whale tried to shake them off, but was nonetheless swimming toward the island.
"Hey, something's tailing us!" Kid alerted. "It's a squid! No, it's a stingray?" The black and white beast lunged at them with long, razor-toothed tentacles, which met at a mouth with black pincers. "SQUIDRAY!" Rivet quickly shot the Squidray with the Warmonger. Star fished for the S.C.H.O.O.L. to send piranhas and fend off other approaching Squidrays.
Their Tulkun steed would fling them in the air and hit them toward the shore of Awa'atlu once they were close. "(If you wanted a ride, there's a way to ask politely! Stupid Sky People.)"
"Uh, you're welcome!" Rivet assumed what it was saying.
The Metkayina tribesmen were fending off Wildvines within the shore's mangroves. Star's team spared some time to help defeat the Floran creatures: in exchange, they would be free to pass through their village unobstructed. The Na'vi's "marui" canopies were built on nets suspended over the sea, interlinked and serving the way across. Unfortunately, Kid's gooey form slipped through the net and splashed in the sea. However, he noticed a Gold Bolt shining inside the base of a mangrove, so he swam to collect it before returning to his friends.
"Hey, kids!" Numbuh 20x40 called from his weapon stand, set on a fork between the netted paths. "Ain't this place a beaut? Too bad the Na'vi don't like us settin' shop here. I'll tell ya what else is a beaut: this N.A.V.S.C.O.P.E.! The lens gives ya Na'vi-like vision and lets ya snipe enemies from far away! Better buy it quick before those jerks trash my stand."
"A sniper crossbow with Na'vi arrows? Authentic!" Star paid 12,000 bolts. (End song.)
Galactic Kids Next Door: N.A.V.S.C.O.P.E.
Na'vi Arrows Viciously Sharpshoot Crowds Of Puny Enemies
They found a rift in the village and jumped inside. "Whoa…" They were in the Willowglade, a gorgeous glade of bioluminescent plants and animals. Its darker lighting was a great contrast to the bright sea they were just at. They were awed at the Woodsprites drifting in the air like dandelions. They were the seeds of the Tree of Souls, a willow draped with shimmering violet leaves.
The trio climbed some natural platforms to get level with the Woodsprites. They could use them as grapple points to reach an elevated ground, but Star noticed the Viperwolves on it. He tested out his N.A.V.S.C.O.P.E. to safely take them out. His friends could swing toward that platform in peace. From there, they needed to platform floating violet flowers with jellyfish-like tendrils, doing so quickly before they would flash with electricity.
"Maybe it goes in like this?" they heard a boy's voice say. There was a pair of Na'vi trying to stick their ponytail appendages into a giant, pink flower-like plant.
"Ugh, I can't tie threads this tiny." The other replied in a whiny girl's voice. Her hair was done up in two loops.
Star cocked a brow, recognizing those two. The Na'vi's ears twitched hearing them land, so they spun around. "Hey, it's Star!" the boy exclaimed.
"Kansai, Chuko!" Remarkably, Chuko was still a head shorter than the baseball player, but she must've loved being taller regardless. "You, uh… doing something with that flower?"
"We saw another Na'vi stick his ponytail in it." Chuko answered. "And his body started glowing. We're trying to do it now, but we can't get our stupid hair thingies in!" The end of her appendage was open, with very thin, pinkish follicles wriggling out of it.
"Uh, I believe that's called a queue. Not a ponytail." Rivet corrected. "And I think this plant is a Tarsyu. I read that the Na'vi connect with it to speak to the spirits of their ancestors. Or something like that."
"And Sage said your new bodies couldn't do that." Star said.
"Well, I at least wanna glow!" Kansai argued. "Why can't we at least fit it on? Me and Chuko can fit ours together just fine." They demonstrated by linking their queues. "See?"
"Haha, it feels weird, but it kind of tickles!" Chuko giggled.
"DON'T DO THAT!" Rivet outbursted.
"GYAH, WHY?!"
"Hey, guys!" Kid called. "Look! There's some kind of party over there!"
Dozens of Na'vi were gathered under the Tree of Souls. Pairs of them were softly attaching their queues together. A blue monkey (Prolemuris) was singing a romantic song.
"Everything in this jungle wanna eat you, baby. I can't blame 'em 'cause you look so fine. Though I wanna put your queue in traction… On Pandora, the main attraction is,"
A chorus of monkeys followed. "Blue rabbits f***kin'! Blue rabbits f***kin' all over the place!" Kid seemed confused… but the others' eyes twitched. "Blue rabbits f***kin'! Blue rabbits f***kin' everywhere!"
Star and Rivet glanced up at Kansai and Chuko. They'd gone from indigo to pale. "…Chuko?"
"Yes?"
"We gotta get our old bodies back."
"…Yes."
"Let's not disturb them in the meantime." Star said. "There's a small Grav Path up the tree. We'll need the Space Ball to go up it. Get in." The five bunched together as Star compressed them in the ball. Thankfully, the tall grass shielded them from looking at the Na'vi, and the glowing drapes of the Soul Tree would help them similarly. They rolled up the trunk and had to roll along several interconnected branches. The Prolemuris were swinging around the branches amidst the song, and would kick their ball off, so Star timed around their movements.
They made it into the portal, much to their relief. …But bizarrely, it led them to the shore of a lake of American dollars. The sunrise shone on the horizon. "Where is this?" Rivet wondered.
When they rolled close to the shore, "ARK ARK ARK ARK ARK!" James Cameron himself sprung out of the dollars like a dolphin and splashed back in.
"James Cameron?!" Star exclaimed.
"Holy crud!" Rivet gasped. "So, those rumors about him having a secret resort on Pandora were true!"
"And I bet he can help us get across this lake." Star smirked. He rolled their ball into the dollars and bobbed partway across. "ARK ARK ARK!" James Cameron sprung them up before kicking them like a dolphin. "ARK ARK!" He swam after them and did it again. "ARK ARK!" With one more kick, they went into another portal.
They landed in a desolate valley near the foot of a volcano. Dead trees defined the land, and it was wrought with an eerie silence, except for the caws of Tetrapteron flying around the enormous, pointed trunk of a dead tree. As they cautiously approached this tree, Rivet's ears twitched at the sound of an arrow loosing. She swat it with her hammer before it met Star's head.
A group of Na'vi rushed them from the dead trees, defined by red paint on their mouths and shoulders and wielding crescent blades. "Oh, no! We're in Ash Clan territory!" Rivet exclaimed, combatting their blades.
"And I'm guessing they aren't friendly!" Star said as he crouched under a tree. Readying his N.A.V.S.C.O.P.E., he could see other archers hiding around the forest. Going for head shots, he was able to take down three of them.
"With how naked they are, I bet they don't like cold!" Kid remarked as he borrowed the S.N.O.B.O.M.B.E.R. and gave the Mangkwan a helping of winter. They advanced through the territory as two more Na'vi intercepted them with flamethrowers.
"Those are Gadgetron flamethrowers!" Rivet exclaimed. "They really do acquire outsider weapons!" The S.N.O.B.O.M.B.E.R. would once more come in handy, along with Rivet's Cold Snap.
"And I'm seeing way too many in that cave." Star said. "…But I'm also seeing another way up." A thin Grav-Path that led up the side of the jagged tree trunk. They shrunk into Space Ball form and quietly rolled around the feet of the patrolling Mangkwan. They rolled up the Grav-Path along the slanted side of the trunk, but the path ended and became parallel with another part of the trunk, on which the path continued. They waited for a Na'vi to walk by before performing a Burst Jump, propelling onto that parallel path.
The path looped inside of the trunk, the kids feeling anxiety as they rolled right above dozens of tribesmen's noses. They seemed to be speaking with some Vilgaxians and acquiring more hi-tech weapons. But Star stayed focused on rolling the Space Ball: there were disconnected parts of the Grav-Path that required him to do a mini Burst Jump. With enough patience, they reached a foothold near the top of the trunk, where they could resize and enter a rift.
They arrived on a cliff overlooking another rig, the sky wrought with clouds. Tyhrranoids were patrolling the perimeter, their single eyes vigilante and rifles in arm. Through his N.A.V.S.C.O.P.E., Star surveyed the aliens. He would target their eyes and shoot them one at a time, choosing his targets based on which ones weren't being watched by others. Soon, every Tyhrranoid was down.
"BROOOAAAR!" An orange, brutish alien was thrown out of the rig's window. It was an Agorian, a warmongering race from Polaris. "BAH! Why didn't that blasted empire check to see if he was a metalbender?!"
An octo-haired teenager with heavy shoes leapt out of the window, punching the earth to send a rock jab at the Agorian. "ANIKI!" the operatives exclaimed.
"TYHRRANOIDS! He's taken out almost everyone inside, hurry and SHOOT HIM! …" But no Tyhrranoids were awake to answer his call. "BLAST, why couldn't they send us watchdogs with TWO eyes?!"
Four more Agorians burst from the entrance, but a baseball ricocheted between them with intense force. Aniki gasped as two Na'vi leapt from the cliff; one of which tossed a handful of spicy chips in her mouth and spewed fire at the enemies. Those Na'vi were wearing very familiar clothes. "Kansai?! Chuko?! Is that you?!"
"Heh-hey, Aniki!" Kansai dashed to the Octoling's side, sporting a snaggletoothed grin. Aniki was taken aback by Kansai's superior size and physique. "Didn't think we'd be rescuin' you here!"
"Aniki!" Star, Kid, and Rivet rushed down, blasting the Agorians.
"Star! I'm glad you're alright!"
"Where are Nyoro, Jennu, and Firaga?"
"Tch…so, you haven't found them yet, huh?"
"Er…not exactly."
"Ugh…" He was clearly frustrated with himself. "Well, at least I won't be stranded here anymore. Let's hurry and go find them."
"Yeah, yeah, keep your pants on, shorty." Kansai retorted.
"Shorty?! What the heck even happened to you?!"
"Just get him back to your ship." Star ordered. "We still have unfinished business. But we're doing good so far, let's keep at it!" (End song.)
They found another portal in a cliff crevice behind the rig. They were along the walkway of a tremendous tree. "It's a Hometree." Star said. "We'll find one of the clan chiefs here."
"Hey, Star!" Pochi and Tattsun arrived up the stairs behind them, their Blades on their backs. "Great timing! We just took out another rig."
"I bet the Cosmic Ranger took out a hundred of them!" Yuki cheered.
"Unlikely." Sage replied.
"Yeah, well," Kid began to argue, "I could totally take out a hundred if I-"
"AAAAAHH!" A cry came from above a nearby ladder.
"Hold that thought, Kid!" Star said. "Can you two give us a lift? That ladder's a little long for us."
"You got it!" Tattsun nodded. The pseudo-Na'vi carried the trio up the ladder.
A Na'vi's leg was being chewed on by an oozing black creature. Two other Na'vi were writhing on the floor behind it. Kid quickly shot the monster off with his H.O.M.E.R.. "Haaaaah…" The beast raised its head.
"Is that… a Lombax?" Rivet whispered, horrified.
"Run…Chaser…run…" The Lombax rasped, limping toward them.
Pochi leapt and stabbed the zombie through the head. The Lombax's body morphed into a gelatinous, blue blob. "What's this?!" Pochi frantically tried to cut the floating blob. Tattsun struck a continuous bolt of electricity, waiting until the blob disintegrated.
"I…I'm not sure what that was." Star said.
"Aaaaaahhhh!" The crying Na'vi were slowly turning into a similar black ooze. "(The evil spirits… are taking control of us! The Sky People… brought them… They are up there!)" A Na'vi pointed up the tree.
"There's a Grav Path!" Star noticed. "Maybe we can help them if we find who's behind this!" He shifted his friends onto the path as they raced up. (Play "Constraint" from Cold Steel IV!)
Rick Sanchez had the Na'vi Olo'eyktan down on his knees. His warriors lay dead as the X Parasites began to possess them. "Look, big guy, I couldn't make this any easier. See this Lombax?" Rick gestured the Zombie Lombax hunched beside him. "He told me his peoples' treasure was hidden right here, in this region. Didn't you, Jeremy? I call him Jeremy."
"Lombax… Relic… Omatikaya…"
"(We have guarded the Lombax's treasure for thousands of years. I will not break our oath!)" The 12-foot chief leapt and thrusted his spear with great ferocity, but with a swift dodge, Rick shot him with a gun of light-green liquid. The chieftain's body drastically shrank, compressed, and turned green as he became…
"Haha! I turned him into a pickle, Morty!"
"You sure did, Rick." Morty replied in disbelief.
"Alright, Jeremy, eat up. We'll just make him tell us when he's a parasite."
"HEY! Who are you two?!"
Rick and Morty turned. "Well, look what the cat dragged in." Rick smirked.
Tattsun gasped. "It's…"
"Executive VI?!" Sage gasped.
"What?!" Star flinched.
"He was one of the masterminds behind Aionios!" Tattsun explained. "The Genius… wasn't he?"
"Had a feeling we'd see the Supreme Leader at some point." Rick said. "But whaddya know, he brought the traitor and two Na'vi wannabes."
"Star, who is this creep?" Kid asked.
"I feel like I've seen him before…" Rivet said.
"It's…it's Rick Sanchez."
"Huh?"
Star projected a holographic wanted poster of the scientist. "ONE HUNDRED BILLION?!" Rivet exclaimed. "You could buy a hundred R.Y.N.O.s with that!"
"Wanted for mass murder, chaos, and illegal transactions in the Schwifty Galaxy… and, as issued by the Guardians of the Great Clock and Nexus their selves, disruptions to the time-space continuum."
"So I mess around in other dimensions. Since when do your guardians care about them?" Rick asked nonchalantly.
"And that kid…" Star brought up a poster of Morty, worth only one, "is Rick's lackey and grandson, Morty."
"S-Seriously?! Just one buck?!" Morty shouted. "I-I did some things! I-I helped murder the leaders of this one country! I hung out with the mafia!"
"It doesn't matter what you did!" Kid declared. "You're about to face JUSTICE!" He blew a round of bubbles from the Z.A.P.B.L.E.R., but Rick quickly popped them with his Lightning Gun. Pochi and Tattsun rushed him around opposite sides and slashed their blades, but Rick blocked them with his bare hands. They swiftly redirected their blades from multiple angles, but Rick maneuvered his arms just the same before blasting the Na'vi back with shoulder rocket launchers.
"HAH!" As Pochi flew back, he threw Lucky up for Yuki to catch, managing to stab him in the heart. "Huh?!" The blade barely pierced through at all. "EEK!" Morty then scared her away by shooting Semunchers; white worms with sharp teeth.
"Do not underestimate him!" Sage cautioned. "His body is modified with strong cybernetics."
"AAAAH!"
"Huh?!" The dead Na'vi morphed into parasites that flew into Tattsun and Pochi.
Rick shot Yuki with a freeze ray and kicked her back. Star, Kid, and Rivet surrounded him, bombarding Rick with the S.N.O.B.O.M.B.E.R., H.O.M.E.R., and Drillhound. Star also sent a S.C.H.O.O.L. to tear up the Semunchers. "Other dimensions or not, if Mom considers you a threat, I'm not holding back!" Rivet declared.
"Then I won't hold THIS back!" Rick jumped away to have them all in sight, whipping out a Butt Canyon. POOT! A gaseous outburst blasted them into the bark, denting a crater. "Wub-lubba-lubba-lubba-lubba!" The scientist burst out laughing, topped with a cocky dance.
Star growled in frustration, clutching his aching skull. "?!" A purple parasite ambushed and phased inside him. "AAAAH!"
"STAR!" Kid and Rivet screamed.
"What…what are these things…" Star squirmed on the floor, practically feeling his insides melting. "What've you done to the Na'vi?"
"Just brought them a little gift from Zebes. And now it looks like you get a share, too, wubba-lub!"
"Zebes?! Wait… these couldn't be…"
"Tattsun, we must retreat." Sage advised. "Our chances of victory against him are nearly zero percent!"
"I think you mean your chances of escape are nearly zero percent." Rick aimed his Grid Gun at them. "UWUH!" A spinning wrench whammed him into the chief's throne before returning to its owner.
"DAD!"
Ratchet bore the gaze of a fierce and protective father. It sickened him and Clank enough to see these reanimated, deformed Lombaxes. "Rivet, get out of here. I'll deal with him."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes! Just go!" Ratchet kicked on his jetboots and lunged at Rick. The scientist fired a grid-shaped laser wall, but Ratchet dashed right through it. Rick quickly opened a green portal against the throne as Ratchet forced him through.
"We must retreat, too." Sage said to Tattsun. "Let's fuse! It may mitigate the effects!"
"O-Okay!" Tattsun and Sage's bodies scattered into particles and reformed as Fusion IT.
"Yuki, us too!" Pochi said to his unfrozen Blade.
"Okay!"
"Star, are you alright?" Rivet knelt over him.
"Rivet, don't-"
"AAAAH!" A parasite flew out of him and infected the Lombax.
"RIVET!" Kid screamed.
"Kid!" Star shrank himself and Rivet in a Space Ball. "Get us back to the W.A.R.P.S.T.A.R. and call Samus! Hurry!"
"O-Okay!" Kid hugged the ball in his arms and ran for the tree's exit, leaping down for a splash landing. (Play "Wubba-Lubba-Allons-Y" from Death Battle!)
Ratchet and Rick fell through a hyperspace tube before plopping into a dimension of Qubes. Rick threw five bombs around Ratchet that would explode into squids and strangle the Lombax, but Ratchet diced them up with the Ultra Multi-Star. He then sent the shurikens at Rick, dealing tears in his clothes. Rick conjured an army of holo-clones, all of which "mooned" Ratchet. The furious Lombax fired a single shot from the Zodiac, annihilating all the clones in a single explosion. However, Rick's own barrier saved him from the blast, shattering as a result. The scientist chewed some gum and puffed out bubbles that would fly toward Ratchet and explode into toxic clouds. Ratchet equipped an air helmet and zoomed toward Rick, who fled using his own jetshoes. Lombax and scientist exchanged clashes of OmniWrench and lightsaber (which had two glowing balls on the hilt). A cut was dealt to Ratchet's shoulder while Rick suffered a blackened left eye.
Rick zapped open another portal that dropped them on a tiny, planetoid version of Earth. Ratchet bashed Rick with enough force to knock him across orbit. "OW!" Rick came up right behind Ratchet and kicked him around the planet. "OOF!" Then Ratchet bashed Rick upon the rebound. "GRRR!" Both shot laser rifles that would wind up missing, orbiting the planetoid, and "OW!" shooting their selves in the back. "Screw this!" Rick zapped them through another portal, landing them amidst the debris of Blizar Prime, a destroyed mining world in Solana. Ratchet busted out the R.Y.N.O. and unloaded a storm of missiles, Rick flying in evasion as the asteroids were reduced to smaller gravel.
Rick flew through the gravel, ambushing Ratchet with a Dark Matter Cannon. Clank flew in its wake to shield him from the blast, but they still went flying backward, smashing through several asteroids. Rick shot a portal open behind them, leading to a dimension where Blizar was still intact. Ratchet and Clank landed just on the edge of a lava pit, the Lombax glancing back on it as he panted in relief. "OOF!" Rick stomped on his gut, twin shoulder cannons aimed, but Ratchet kicked on his Tesla Barrier to survive the blast and zap Rick off. Ratchet got up, charged Rick with the jetboots, and seized his neck between the OmniWrench. They flew above a lava pit as Ratchet tried to swing Rick into it, but he quickly opened a portal.
Rick flew out into the Lombax Ruins, Ratchet diving after him. To his horror, the town was infested with Zombaxes. "Like what I've done with the place? The parasites won't get me, of course. I extracted a cell from one that gives them tele-communication. Mixed it with one of my braincells," he tapped his head, "now they think I'm one of them."
"You're a monster…"
"I can't imagine you've done the same to Dr. Nefarious?" Clank asked, glaring spitefully. "I believe you are the one that stole him from his grave."
"Nah, I built a new cyborg out of him. Maybe I'll do the same to you."
"Ratchet, look out!" Clank alerted him to a green parasite, too late as it phased into his friend's body! "No!"
"Ugh! I'm okay!" Ratchet equipped his Mega Bomb Glove and threw powerful grenades around, Rick. Though he dodged, the buildings around him collapsed onto the scientist. The duo waited for a while, hoping victory was assured. In truth, Rick shrunk himself to hide in the narrowest crevice, emerging, resizing, and burning Ratchet with the Grid Gun.
"I will not let you defile these ruins any longer." Clank declared. "Charge complete." The toy-sized robot gigantified into a hulking frame. Rick dodged a barrage of finger missiles, but Clank landed a clean swat that blew Rick miles across town, crashing through and crumbling several buildings. Rick flew out through a portal behind Clank, ramming the back of the giant's head and stabbing him with the lightsaber. Ratchet leapt to bat Rick off of Clank, firing the Zodiac once more. Rick's clothes were evaporated, along with the surrounding parasites.
"You think I'm going out that easy, mother****? I already ruined any sequels for Cameron or Ubisoft, I don't mind ruining Insomniac's mascot, too."
"Good luck with that." Ratchet gave Rick a bodyful of the Omega RYNO 4-Ever.
Kid Cosmic rushed his way back through the rifts, dodging the X Parasites' efforts to snatch him. Some of them seized the Tyhrranoids, who would try to shoot him, and the Agorians, who leapt in attempt to smash him beneath their spikeballs. Kid found the rift leading back to the Ash Clan's tree, sparing no thought for stealth as he dropped smack-dab into their village. They took aim with fire arrows, until the sudden swarm of Parasites completely changed their priority. But the possessed Na'vi would shoot arrows or ambush Kid around the dead forest, the fearful youth bending his gooey head to dodge the arrows or slipping under trees. To his relief, he found the rift back to the money lake.
"James Cameron, run!" Kid yelled while scrambling over the sea of dollars
"ARK ARK!" Cameron panicked when the Parasites infested his resort. "ARK ARK! ARK ARK! ARK ARK!" He surfed his way beyond the sunrise. Kid hurried back through the Willowglade, the Na'vi and monkeys screaming as the X snatched them. When they caught the Viperwolves, they each took a gnash at Kid, his blobbish body ducking them with skips of the heart.
Kid entered the rift to Awa'atlu, regretful that he couldn't save the tribesmen from the parasite invasion. He dove in the sea and made a mad, one-armed swim. "?!" Kid felt a weight pushing him up from the surface: the Tulkun they had ridden moments ago. "Please get me back to that portal! Don't let those things catch us!"
The Tulkun could clearly sense his fear and urgency, so would make no argument. It swam as quick as it could, but the parasites were claiming the Squidrays and forcing them to attack. Kid repelled them with the H.O.M.E.R., despite its weak effect, but by the time they reached the rift, the Squidrays dug into his Tulkun steed and infected it. "Sorry…" Kid hurriedly abandoned the whale and reached the reef with the rift.
He was lucky to hitch a ride on a banshee in the Hallelujah Mountains, but parasites would seize other banshees and fallen Vilgaxians in their attempt to pursue him. Kid's banshee would crash through the exit rift, its body blocking the pursuers off for a time. Afterwards, he hitched a ride on a Direhorse to escape across the Upper Plains, even as the infected Na'vi horsemen chased and shot holes through his head.
Kid finally made it back to the car, squeezing under the narrow windshield and closing it just before a parasite got him. Several of them lurked outside, awaiting their prey to expose himself. "S-Star, what's Samus' number again?" He held the ball to his ear.
"1-1-9-8-3, hurry!"
"Got it!" Kid quickly tapped the number in. "Samus! Please pick up!"
"Kid? What's wrong?"
"J-Jelly blobby things! They're trying to eat us! They're possessing everyone on the planet, like ghosts!"
"Jelly blobby…?!" Samus got a glimpse of one above the windshield. "IMPOSSIBLE! WHERE ARE YOU?!"
"P-Pandora! Solana Galaxy! Hurry!"
"Hold your ground, I'm coming!"
Kid tucked himself under the car seat, hugging his friends tight. "You did great, Kid!" Star said. "Just keep calm! We'll…ergh…"
"Star!" The Space Ball began to flicker. His friend was losing consciousness. "Please… hang on…"