In the mansion that was Galley-La's headquarters, a group of people sat solemnly looking at the newspaper in front of them. Their new bounties gave them no joy. Slapped front and center on the front page of the article was a picture of Luffy fighting Rob Lucci, and right next to it, a picture of Itachi, frozen solid by Admiral Aokiji.
In a shocking turn of events, a new rookie pirate group known as the Straw Hat Pirates broke down the gates of Enies Lobby to take back one of their own: Nico Robin! That's right! The Demon Child of Ohara, the scourge of the World Government who is rumored to be trying to revive the terrible ancient weapons, was captured by the World Government! But her crewmates broke down the gates of Enies Lobby and fought the esteemed secret intelligence group, CP9! As you can see on the front page, the right image is of their captain, Straw Hat Luffy (Bounty on page A4) defeating one of the most powerful agents to ever grace the World Government: Rob Lucci! Straw Hat Luffy defeated Rob Lucci in a decisive victory at the Bridge of Hesitation in the midst of a Buster Call. Unfortunately, they did not come away unscathed. In the image to the left, another member of the Straw Hat crew known as Uchiha Itachi was left behind while the rest of the Straw Hats made their escape! How absolutely hypocritical of them to rampage all over Enies Lobby for a single woman, only to leave one of their own behind! Pirates are truly despicable, only interested in money and women. They know nothing of friendship and bonds! Uchiha Itachi was easily their strongest member, next to his captain, able to plow through multiple warships and hundreds of high-ranking marines. It was unfortunate that he had to fight against Admiral Aokiji in a last-ditch effort to escape, but Admiral Aokiji was far too powerful for him, easily subduing and killing the Straw Hat pirate. More of this story on page A2).
The article had left the entire crew seething with rage. How dare they?! How dare they suggest that the Straw Hats would willingly leave a friend behind.
The picture in the article confirmed that Itachi was dead, and it weighed heavily on their minds. They had rescued one friend only to lose another. Zoro had stalked out after reading the article hoping to find a way to blow some steam off. Chopper and left with Robin to distract themselves with helping the Franky Family. Sanji couldn't very much leave as he had to cook for Luffy, but he'd already gone through an entire pack of cigarettes in his restlessness. Nami tried to distract herself with money, but all the gold she saw only further reminded her of Itachi.
In such a short amount of time, Itachi had become something more than just a friend. As much as Luffy was the life and energy of the crew, Itachi had become their anchor. The ever-reliable, ever helpful Uchiha Itachi, who loved to paint. Who was always reading and writing letters to some mysterious girl. Who they could always depend on to pull them out of tough situations. Well, he had pulled them out one last time.
His sketchbook and his scroll were laying in the corner of the room; nobody had the guts to touch them.
Robin stood on the coast of the little rocky area where the Franky Family's house was located. Chopper was checking up on the two King Yagara Bulls Sodom and Gomorrah.
"Why did you do it, Itachi? You promised me that you would stay. Stay and protect them. Why'd you have to go and get yourself killed?"
She looked forlornly out to sea, watching the Puffing Tom cross the water. She wrapped Itachi's cloak tighter around her.
"Where's my guardian angel?"
Thousands of miles away, another group of people also looked in sadness at the paper.
One, in particular, stood on a specific hilltop looking out over the village, hot tears coursing down her face.
"You promised me, Itachi. You promised that you would come back to me!"
"You promised, you stupid fucking idiot."
Keoni fell to her knees, clutching the newspaper to her chest.
"Come back to me. Please…"
Come on you stupid lump of flesh. Open your eyes Listener!
Itachi blearily opened his eyes. He was face down on a grass of some sort. It was damp. Had it rained recently?
He pushed himself off the ground, groaning as his body ached.
"Damn, Aokiji is no joke."
Stupid Listener, look at me damn it!
Itachi looked around trying to pinpoint the source of the feminine voice.
Left. More left. Left some more. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight there.
His eyes settled on a rather unassuming rock stuck in the ground.
I'm not a rock you stupid dolt! I am the highest quality iron you're ever gonna meet. Now dig me out of this dirty ground and clean me!
Itachi shuffled over grabbing a kunai to start digging the lump of iron out of the ground, his hair falling around his face. What happened to his hair tie? Did it fall off somewhere?
That's right. She purred. Just like that.
He lifted her out of the ground, wiping her down with a spare rag he had.
Oh, thank you very much, Listener. Now if you would, make me into a katana.
"Hmmmm, so you already know what you want to be. How bossy," Itachi murmured.
Like I said. I'm the highest quality iron you'll ever find. I know what my purpose is. A swordsmith of your skills could easily make me into a top-grade katana worthy of my quality.
Itachi continued trudging through the dark forest he was in, the sky was covered with thick dark clouds. It was hard to gauge what time it was. He thought about how he got here.
Itachi Substituted with a clone that hadn't been dispersed.
Flying through a set of hand seals, he shouted, "Wind Release: Weapon Tornado"
He flung several shuriken and kunai into it, multiplying their number with a quick Shuriken Shadow Clone jutsu.
He then sealed Fuyukokyo into a small scroll, while making another crow clone. He then transformed himself into a Fuma Shuriken, which the clone picked up and threw into the tornado with all its strength.
The shuriken was sent shooting out at an incredible speed from the top of the tornado, flying high into the sky unnoticed by Aokiji.
Once again, Itachi would make Aokiji think he killed him, while he instead made his escape. He had noticed that the admiral had been avoiding looking him directly in the eyes the entire fight, so entrapping him in a genjutsu was not possible. He didn't need to fight anymore, the Straw Hats having already escaped. Any further fighting would only bring unwanted attention to himself.
He flew far and away from Enies Lobby.
"Hopefully I land close to Water 7."
A strong burst of wind swept in the from the west, carrying him higher into the sky.
"Perhaps not…"
"Where are we exactly?" He asked the iron.
Like hell, I'd know. I'm just a lump of iron that's been stuck in the ground too long.
He kept walking. Eventually, he came to a small set of ruins, vines and other vegetation wound around the worn stone.
He continued to walk, rubbing his throbbing head with his free hand, pushing his loose hair back behind his ears.
"Ugh. Last time I ever try to escape like that. Spinning in the air for that long made me pass out. I need to figure out where I am. I need to get back to the Straw Hats before news of my death spreads too far. God my head is pounding right now. How long was I out for?"
"Hey, do you happen to know how much time passed while I was in front of you?"
I don't bother myself with such human concepts. It means nothing to me.
Itachi sighed. How helpful.
Something rustled in the bushes to his right. Without hesitation, he threw a kunai into the brush. He hit his target with a solid thump, a yowl of pain coming from the bush. A rather beaten man filled with stitches exited from the brush, Itachi's kunai sticking out of his head.
Correction. It wasn't a beaten man. It was a reanimated corpse, but it didn't worry Itachi. Having been resurrected himself, he understood somewhat what the zombie was going through.
"Hello there, kind sir. Would you be considerate and die for me?"
How polite! Too bad Itachi wasn't going to be dying anytime soon.
"I'm sorry Mr. Zombie, but I really must be on my way. Hopefully, you find some other unfortunate individual to die for you!"
"If you won't do it nicely, I'll just have to force you! Come on boys! Let's get'em!"
More bodies charged out from the surrounding woods, heading straight for Itachi.
Itachi sighed again.
"How troublesome."
"We're very sorry, Mr. Itachi sir. It won't happen again."
The zombies had been far too weak. Not even moving from his spot, Itachi had soundly defeated them without a single hair being displaced from his head.
He now carried in his left arm, the lump of iron. In his right, he held the decapitated head of the zombie he had originally attacked, the rest of them in a similar state strewn around him on the ground.
"You're going to be my guide for this place whether you like it or not, "Itachi said, continuing to walk through the forest. "First off, where am I?"
"The largest pirate ship in the world, Thriller Bark."
"A ship this large? That's insane. I've never heard of it before."
"Can you tell me any more about this Thriller Bark?"
"Nope. All I can really tell you is that it used to be some island in the West Blue. It got converted into a pirate ship some time ago, but I honestly can't tell you when. I was resurrected around a few years ago, long after Thriller Bark had been made."
"A shame. How did you become reanimated?"
"That would be due to the work of Master Moria and Doctor Hogback. On my body is the number 18, signifying that I was the 18th zombie to be made by their combined efforts. Master Moria is a Devil Fruit user that uses shadows to revive the dead! I was revived with some random person's shadow, stolen from them when they happened to stumble into Master Moria's trap!"
Moria? Shadows? There was only one person that fit that description. What was the Warlord Gecko Moria doing reanimating the dead?
"Do you know if there's a forge anywhere around here?"
"Ah yes! There's actually one quite close to Master Moria's mansion, fully outfitted for any blacksmith's needs. I was actually able to use it once, the owner of the shadow of my body is a blacksmith! It was truly a lovely workshop, filled with the best materials."
Now that sounded very interesting. If he could get to that forge, he could turn the lump of iron into a fine katana.
Damn right you will. She said.
Truly a feisty one.
Zoro had last a katana at Enies Lobby, right? What perfect timing. Itachi could forge him a better one. The fact that this iron ore had such a strong Voice without even being formed was an indication of its strength.
Itachi could easily make her into a Great Grade Sword.
"Mind telling me how to get to the forge?"
"Not at all!"
What a helpful guy.
As Itachi was so generously directed to the forge by his new companion, the rest of the Straw Hats had landed on Thriller Bark. Their meeting with Brook had lightened their spirits, but they were still quite subdued, Itachi's missing presence still weighing heavily on their minds.
"Soldier Dock System: Channel 2! Our new shopping boat, Mini Merry 2!"
Franky was showing off another feature of the new ship he had built for the Straw Hats, the Thousand Sunny. It eased their minds away from Itachi, instead, filling their heads with the possibility for a new adventure.
Itachi would never want them to wallow in sadness. This new adventure would be for him.
"KYAAAAAAH!" A scream came through the fog.
"Oh my!" Robin covered her mouth. "That sounded like Nami. I hope she and the others didn't die a gruesome death at the hands of ghosts."
"HEEEEEY!" Luffy called out. "Hurry back! I wanna ride Mini Merry too!"
Sanji smacked him on the back of the head, "At least be more concerned about Nami, you shitty captain!"
"Eeeeh, but she'll be fine! Nami can be really scary if she wants to."
Sanji smacked the back of his head again. "That's beside the point! You should be treating both Nami and Robin with the utmost respect at all times! A woman is a work of art! Designed directly by God above and placed on this world!"
Sanji became surrounded by flames of passion, "The female form is the ultimate form of art! Placed here to grace our unworthy eyes!"
"Yeah!"
Emboldened by the support, Sanji continued, "Women should be placed on a pedestal to be worshipped by all!"
"Yeah! This guy gets it!"
"Truly! A man of culture!" Sanji turned around. "My brother-in-arms!"
A lion-man appeared out of thin air, clasping hands with Sanji before they linked arms and began singing about the virtues of women.
Zoro gripped at his swords in irritation, the obvious invasion of an unknown individual completely lost on Sanji in his "romantic" delusions.
Luffy had joined in their singing and dancing rather oblivious to the perverted aura surrounding the two morally ambiguous men.
Robin eased away from the blatant display of lechery. Although she didn't show it visibly, her skin crawled quite uncomfortably at the sight of two grown men singing about "boobies".
"WOULD YOU TWO SHUT UP ALREADY!" Zoro attacked them in annoyance.
"OI! You shitty swordsman! What's the big idea!"
"Yea, you stupid moss-head. What's it to ya? We're just two fine gentlemen bonding over our shared tastes."
Zoro slashed at the two again, intent on killing them.
"Shut up both of you, you stupid perverts! No one wants to listen to your gross fantasies about peeping on women in the bathroom!"
Sanji flew at Zoro with a kick, the lion-man also pouncing toward Zoro.
"Do not make light of our dreams!"
In a stupidly comedic fashion, the three men went back and forth, trading blows between themselves.
"That's enough! Strong Right!"
Franky fired his fist into the fight, punching Sanji in the side and launching him into the wall.
"Fuckin'… cyborg...bastard," he wheezed out."
Franky turned to the lion-man, "Introduce yourself, lion-man."
Taking a confident stance, he leered hungrily at Robin, "I am Absalom. One of the Mysterious Four and a subordinate of the Warlord, Gecko Moria."
The Straw Hat's faces were overcome with shock at the mention of a Warlord.
"What is Warlord doing in the Florian Triangle?" Robin asked.
"Ha! Like I would tell you!" Absalom taunted. "My loyalty to my master is absolute. Nothing you do can make me say anything!"
"What a shame," Robin said sultrily, slowly hiking up her dress. "I would've rewarded you…"
Steam erupted from Sanji's and Absalom's ears, blood spurting out their noses at the sight of her soft, smooth thighs. At the hint of some rather… racy underwear, their nosebleeds shot out with enough force to launch them across the boat and into another wall.
They quickly scrambled up hoping to get a glimpse of paradise, but Robin only sighed dramatically, a sad look upon her face as she let the dress slide back down.
"I guess you don't want it, though. Your loyalty to your master is much stronger than your perverted nature. What a shame..."
Absalom threw himself down at her feet, "NO! WAIT! I'll tell you whatever you want! Just- Just let me have a glimpse! A glimpse of Heaven!"
She leaned down, "Then let me ask you a few questions."
Absalom nodded his head vigorously. If he had a tail, it would have for sure been wagging madly.
Absalom had spilled almost everything. Moria's Devil Fruit ability. Information regarding Moria, himself and his Devil Fruit, Doctor Hogback and his experiments, and Perona and her Devil Fruit. Everything about the zombies on the island as well as the different types they would encounter. He hadn't said if there was a way to release the shadows from the bodies, having been able to retain some semblance of self-control with regard to his master's Devil Fruit's weakness.
In the end, Robin had thrown a pair of panties on Absalom's face (not the pair she was wearing of course, but he didn't know that). The implication of the action had a LOT of blood rushing to two different heads, causing him to pass out.
Sanji nearly passed out himself, first from the blood coming from his own nose, but also from the massive spike in blood pressure in his head as he looked on at Absalom's form in extreme envy. To be graced with Robin's panties and his coveted Clear-Clear fruit?
"I'LL FUCKING KILL HIM!" Sanji raged internally.
They decided to tie him up and leave him on the ship, leaving him in a barrel of seawater to keep him subdued.
"Yosh! Adventure~! Adventure~! Let's go on an adventure~!" Luffy sang out happily.
They departed for Thriller Bark.
Itachi looked in awe at the forge. The zombie hadn't been lying. It was truly a state-of-the-art facility. The forges at Artopoki and the forge he had sealed in his notebook were more traditional in a way, but this? This was cutting edge technology. The most high-tech workshop he had ever seen.
He was excited. He set the lump of iron on a nearby anvil, setting the zombie's head down on a nearby workbench.
"I told ya," it said. "Some top tier stuff in this here forge."
Itachi began to roam around the room, opening doors and drawers, taking stock of all the materials and tools in the room. He found a large locker filled with raw materials such as wood, cloth, and steel. Another cabinet held plenty of jars and glasses filled with a plethora of substances. One such jar held a substantial amount of high-quality coking coal.
The multitude of ovens and furnaces in the room, he found, gave their user the ability to very finely control the heat inside them, with easy to read indicators on the outside. Of course, Itachi didn't need this kind of technology, extensive knowledge of the physical properties of a multitude of metals as well as their relevant heat treatment had been hammered into his head by Makani.
Cranking up a blast furnace, Itachi dumped the iron ore into it.
Her Voice vibrated with excitement.
Taking off his shirt, Itachi pulled an apron over his head and walked around the forge, grabbing the tools and materials he needed.
Before he started, he remembered something he should've done the second he landed on the island.
Pulling out a scroll, he unsealed Fuyukokyo.
STUPID FUCKING LISTENER WHAT WERE YOU DOING THIS ENTIRE TIME! I'VE BEEN STUCK IN THAT STUFFY SCROLL OF YOURS FOR WAY TOO LONG OH MY GOD I WISH I COULD CUT YOUR HANDS OFF RIGHT THIS INSTANT! PUT ME DOWN I DON'T WANT YOU TOUCHING ME!
A mistake on his part for leaving her in there for so long, but it had slipped his mind. He laid her down on the workbench on which the zombie's head was on and let her sulk.
He turned back to the blast furnace, and with a pair of tongs, pulled out the red hot iron.
Do not disappoint me , Listener. Listen well and I'll be the best katana you've ever made.
Raising his hammer, he brought it down, hitting the ore in a shower of sparks.
CLANG
Robin grunted as she hit the castle wall, a number of arms cushioning the impact. As Franky had been to reel in his arm, the Spider Monkey Zombie had shot a line of its sticky silk at her. The silk had encased her foot and with a strong yank, the zombie general tore Robin away from Franky.
She fell onto a balcony below, gripping the stone tightly as the Spider Monkey Zombie started to tug on it, trying to pull down.
"Robin!" Franky cried out in concern. His left arm swung open, aimed at the Spider Monkey.
"Weapons Left!"
He shot at the Spider Monkey's hands, which were holding the silk attached to Robin. Franky's aim was spot on and a small explosion engulfed the zombie general's hands. Flames started to run up the silk towards Robin's foot, melting the silk as it went, but it fizzled out before it could reach Robin.
She began using the stone balcony she stood on to scrape off what she could.
"Arrow Notch Strike!"
She looked up just in time to see Brook, sheathing his sword, a massive slash running along the Spider Monkey's back. He tossed something in its mouth causing a black blob to shoot out of its mouth and into the sky.
"Mr. Skeleton!" She called out. "What was that black thing that shot out of the zombie's mouth just now?"
He jumped straight up onto the broken bridge that Franky stood on, holding out a small bag.
"Yohohohoho, salt! Salt can purify and kill the zombies, purging them of their shadow, returning it to their original owner! Oh, it's so wonderful finally talk to real people! Your words grace my ears, although I don't have ears… Skull joke! Yohohohohoho!"
Franky cringed at the rather terrible joke as Robin giggled.
"I must tell you. I came to this island five years ago and witnessed something terrible! A giant of a man that lives here wields a terrible ability!"
Franky cut him off, "We already know. One of his subordinates, Absalom spilled the beans on everything here, although the information regarding the salt is very nice."
"Ah, I see," Brook said. "Although I don't have eyes! Skull joke! Yohohohohohoho!"
"Stop with the shitty jokes you stupid skeleton!" Franky smacked Brook into the ground.
"I would suggest that you head back to your ship. It seems that a few of your crewmates have been taken, which more than likely means that their shadows have also been stolen. As you should know, Moria needs the owners of the shadows he takes to be alive as if they die, the shadow dies with them. To be more specific, after stealing the shadows of strong people, he puts them back out to sea so that they can't come back. More than likely, your friends who've already had their shadow stolen are back on your ship."
"Then I'll start heading back, Franky," Robin called out, walking into the room connected to the balcony she stood on. He waved her off as she walked out of sight, confident that she could take care of herself.
"Now Brook, I have a question for you…"
Robin walked through the stone hallway, her heels clicking loudly against the stone.
Click. Shloop. Click. Shloop. Click. Shloop.
She hadn't been able to get the rest of the spider silk off her foot, so it made a rather weird sticky sound every time she lifted her foot off the ground.
CLANG
The sudden noise caught her attention.
CLANG
There it was again. Was someone else in this building? She began to walk more quietly, intent on finding where the sound was coming from.
CLANG
She rounded the corner and saw a door, slightly ajar, at the end of the hallway. Light spilled out of it, the mysterious clanging noise coming from it.
CLANG
She crept down the hallway, coming up to the door.
CLANG
She took a peek inside.
CLANG
The Straw Hats were gathered on the deck of the Thousand Sunny waiting for Robin to show up.
"That's weird," Franky said scratching his head. "I'm sure she started heading back to the ship before any of us did. Maybe she got lost?"
Sanji kicked him in the head, "Do not insult Robin's intelligence, you mongrel!"
"Perhaps she found me some treasure!" Nami exclaimed.
"Or food!" Luffy cried.
"Absalom is gone. They probably took him back when they dropped us off," Zoro said. "Perhaps she ran into them as they were leaving?"
"I bet if it another person and Robin was here, she would say 'I hope they didn't get eaten by a horde of zombies.'" Usopp said in a rather good imitation of Robin. It had Luffy rolling on the ground in laughter, Sanji kicking him for laughing at the joke.
The sound of footsteps coming towards the ship had everyone looking at the gangplank in anticipation.
"Ow! Ow! Robin, just hold on a second, you didn't even let me grab my stuff! Come on Robin, let go of my ear, you're gonna rip my earring out! Ow!"
Robin walked onto the grassy lawn a rare thunderous look on her face, throwing the person she had been dragging to the ground, before retreating into the ship, slamming the door angrily behind her.
Surprised at the sudden outburst from their normally calm and collected crewmate, they turned back to the person she had brought to see who exactly had caused this unsettling change in Robin.
Their jaws dropped in shock at the sheepish smiling face of Uchiha Itachi.
"EHHHHHHHH?!"
"..."