Teramon and Tikka remained in their positions for quite some time. Teramon hoped that Haku and Rhaegal didn't need them in the meantime, or that they wouldn't be alarmed at not finding them... though that was unlikely since the arachnes had proved sincere and faithful and their brothers knew that they used avatars while they were underground, so they would have no reason to worry about them. Furthermore, Teramon seriously doubted that before an hour or two anyone would be able to recover from all those revelations they had received in a matter of barely twenty minutes.
After waiting a while, Tikka finally seemed to calm down. Her breathing went from hyperventilating to simply accelerating to its normal rate, and her heart rate also returned to its usual levels; her pupils, which until recently had dilated in clear sign of panic, had returned to their usual shape, and her nostrils had shrunk in size instead of remaining constantly wide open. Slowly, she shifted her body and went back to lying on her stomach instead of her side, as dragons used to do since showing the belly was considered an embarrassment to them. "Thanks for your words…and for your help" she murmured to her sister.
Teramon gave a small smile. "Don't thank me. That's what sisters are for, right?" she asked with a tiny laugh, then she turned serious again. "Look... I know you probably don't feel like it much, but... I think we should talk about your problem now"
Tikka looked down. She knew she couldn't avoid that conversation, even though she would much rather forget what had just happened and bury that memory deep in her mind, repressing again that vortex of negative emotions she kept sealing almost since she was born. And Teramon was right… she needed to talk to someone. "I hate to be… this" she admitted as she looked at her paws, where the muscular difference with that of her siblings was evident. "I hate being so weak. I'm tired of being thought weak"
The word 'weakness' was like poison to all living creatures. The weak died, that was the law of nature. If a prey was weak it could not escape from the predator, and if the predator was weak it couldn't reach the prey. In that ruthless world where the only law was 'kill or be killed', there was no place for weakness. The weak had less food, fewer resources, less protection, less chance to survive. It wasn't right, but that was the way things were. It was no coincidence that in many animal species the parents preferred to abandon their weak and puny offspring and invest their parental care in the strong and robust ones. It wasn't cruelty or malice, it was simple natural selection. And even civilized creatures weren't much exceptions: of course, they could decide to protect even the weak, but in cases of danger and without the possibility of saving everyone, they would choose to bring to safety the part of the population that had the greatest chance of surviving; it is no coincidence that many newcomer parents in turn preferred to have strong children. A strong son could better cultivate a field, raise animals, lift heavy loads, become a labourer, repair what was destroyed by storms; a weak son instead could not have done all this and would have been just one more mouth to feed. In the society of newcomers, strength had many aspects (intelligence, physical strength, ability to negotiate contracts, noble title, strategic and political ability, etc.) and weakness had just as many (actual physical weakness, lack of great acumen, inability to oppose the will of others, submission to individuals of higher office, etc.), but in any case, even there the strong always dominated over the weak. Because after all they were all creatures born on that world, and even though they had a little more brain than animals, they were all subject to the same rules and laws that applied everywhere, they just changed them a little.
And among dragons? Among dragons, being weak was no different than being dead. Dragons, at least at the time they were born, had too many enemies. They were confronted with countless natural predators, monsters, newcomers of various strengths who wished to kill them, and in the worst case even divine or semi-divine entities. Even if a young dragon was already a dangerous predator due to its size, if it hadn't also been of excellent constitution it would hardly have been able to survive. This could be noticed from the first weeks after their birth: too weak dragon cubs were immediately excluded from meals and starved to death. Only the fittest could survive: the perfect combination of intelligence, skill and above all strength. No matter how many weapons and magics a dragon might learn to use, their body still remained their main weapon, so a weak body equaled a weak dragon, and a weak dragon equaled a dead dragon. Among dragons, therefore, the weakness was like an anathema.
Tikka was born weak. It hadn't been her decision and it hadn't been her fault: she was simply born that way. Her muscles were less developed than those of her brothers, her body was leaner and more frail, her claws were less sharp, her bite force less powerful. She was, simply put, everything the dragons aspired not to be. And the effects of her diversity had immediately shown themselves: she, together with Kotaru (who was almost as puny and frail as she), had been the first to be kicked out of the meals their mother had brought them for their first three months of life. Of course, she had survived, but not thanks to her: it was Haku, and together with him Darbi, who brought her the food to allow her to live another day. She was grateful to them for their kindness (how ungrateful it wouldn't be!), but at the same time the situation had made her hate herself more and more. She hated her weak muscles, her fangs too weak, her claws too weak. She wanted to be like her siblings: strong, massive, capable of fighting. But she wasn't, and she knew she could never be like the others. She was born weak and no matter what she did, she would stay weak. That anger had settled in her mind so much that one day she tried again to take a piece of meat from the carcass their mother brought them, and it ended very badly for her, to the point that Kotaru, Darbi and Haku the they had scolded her for behaving irrationally. After that, Tikka realized that she was no match for opponents stronger than her, and so she buried her anger in the depths of her mind, and every time new anger appeared, she went through the same process.
Then, when they'd finally emerged from their mother's cave, her diversity had become even more evident. She was always the one who had the easiest job in hunting; she wasn't the only one, as Kotaru, Teramon and their other frailer sisters also suffered similar treatment, but she in particular was treated that way. When something particularly dangerous was about to happen, or when her siblings were about to undertake a very difficult mission, she was the excluded one who was left behind. She knew that her brothers and sisters didn't act like this out of malice and that they only wanted to protect her, but it was a constant reminder to her of how inferior she was to them, of how she was almost a burden to them. And she hated it. She didn't want to be seen as incapable of surviving on her own. Her anger and hatred had built up quite a lot, but she managed to hide it under a somewhat surly, but ultimately calm personality. But the more time passed, the more difficult it was for her to contain everything inside her. The moment she'd crossed the line of her endurance was a few months ago, when Darbi had called everyone to go find Haku and had, albeit unintentionally, pointed out that she would have a harder time than the others in the sandstorm. He hadn't said it with the intent to hurt her, but he had. With those words, her brother had shown that even though years had passed, he still thought of her as the most fragile of the family. Tikka was tired of being considered weak.
"I'm so weak that I wasn't even able to offer myself spontaneously for this mission. It was Darbi, again, who proposed me for this assignment. And he did it, again, because I was the most unsuitable for open field combat if the arachnes had tried to do some tricks. The only thing I could be good at was maneuvering an avatar" Tikka murmured thickly. "That's why I was so... attentive, perhaps at times obsessive. I put all of myself into this mission because I wanted to demonstrate that I could be useful, even if... even if I was so weak. That I could protect my family, that I could make a difference. I took every precaution, I patrolled the surroundings of our camp sites several times, I made our avatars perfect for battle, I made sure that the illusion was flawless, I even sprinkled them with our smell. I did it because focusing on the mission made me believe, even for a short time, that I was... important. That I wasn't just a burden to the family. But now look at me: the words of a dead dragon were enough for twenty thousand years to make me run away like a coward and make you come after me. I... I'm really just useless"
Teramon let out an angry growl. Damn her stupid brother! Why couldn't Darbi have a little more tact? She was quite right in thinking that in some cases the boys only made the situation worse! She decided she would say some words to her brother as soon as she returned; just the bare minimum to make him understand that sometimes it was better to keep his mouth shut! "Sister, I… I know you won't believe what I'm about to say, but I'll tell you anyway" she said. "You are not useless and you aren't a burden. You are important, to all of us. Don't you have physical strength? Who cares! You are good at other things. You may be a little grumpy, but when some of us are insecure, you're there ready to give him a few words of encouragement or just to give him some advice. Even Haku has done this a few times, remember? And you've got a great nose, and you're good at following leads and finding prey; you're the one who has identified half of the herds of animals that then became our food. You are not useless, you are just... different. But you are fundamental in this family as we all are. And above all, you are our sister, and this alone already makes you irreplaceable". The dragoness gave a slight snort. "And there will come a day when everyone will understand that, including you, I'm sure. You just have to have faith and just be yourself. And above all, don't be afraid to be different from us. Are you a little more puny? Yes, and so? All of us are different from each other. I too am puny compared with Darbi. We can be strong even without having much physical strength, we just have to want to. You will see, one day, everyone will know your strength, and then I will be there and I'll say to your face 'I told you so', so get ready"
Tikka couldn't help but smile at her sister's words. It was true, she didn't believe what Teramon was saying, but it was still nice to hear it. "That would be the best 'I told you so' I could ever get"
"Then make sure you get it… as soon as possible" Teramon replied. She didn't just say 'make sure you get it' to show her sister that she truly believed that she would be able to prove herself someday. "Now... shall we go back? I bet our brothers will be done talking by now"
Tikka nodded. "Yes, let's go back" she said, getting up, and the two walked back towards the oasis. They returned to their cave and reconnected there with the avatars they had hidden in the small crack in the tower's stairs. There they again extracted their true avatars from the dimensional bags and reactivated the rune of invisibility, until those bodies were identical to their true dragon bodies; after which they set off again towards the top of the tower.