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Chapter 862 - Chapter 861: What Does It Feel Like to Be Unable to Die?

Stephen wanted to ask Deadpool more about the "movie thing" and the so-called fourth wall…

But remembering how their last conversation went, he wisely decided not to poke the bear again.

He wasn't the only one curious. Billy Butcher, Hughie, and Annie were all intrigued too.

Hughie finally voiced the question:

"Wade, why are you so convinced we're in a movie? Do you have any proof?"

Everyone leaned in.

Deadpool shrugged.

"Buddy, who needs proof? I mean, think about it—why are we even in this Quiz game? Same logic. If you really want to understand how I feel, I've got a little tip for you. Find a woman—or not, I don't judge—and then do this… and then this… and just a bit of this, and boom! You'll feel your soul leaving your body. That's when you'll see the truth of the universe."

He started off sounding sincere, but his increasingly vulgar gestures made everyone roll their eyes again.

Even Hughie, usually the most well-behaved, couldn't help showing him the middle finger.

Looks like spending too much time around Wade was having consequences.

Back to the future video—Deadpool's irreverent voiceover chimed in:

"Wondering why I was taking a nap on 1,200 gallons of high-grade gasoline? Well… it all started six weeks ago…"

The video picked up right after the events of Deadpool 1—the beginning of what was clearly Deadpool 2.

In the sequel, Wade's mercenary business was booming. He'd gone global, taking down criminal syndicates left and right.

But unlike heroes like Cap or Batman who fought by the rules, Deadpool didn't believe in sparing the bad guys.

His methods were messy, bloody, and brutal—unapologetically R-rated.

Even so, he was technically doing good: taking out scum, often solo, and often leaving behind very few survivors.

Of course, not every mission went smoothly. When he went after a crime boss named Sergei, things got messy.

Sergei had a laundry list of atrocities to his name, but he was a paranoid coward.

When Deadpool came knocking, the man went straight into a fortified panic room.

Deadpool couldn't break in, and backup was closing in. He narrowly escaped thanks to—what else—his trusty yellow taxi.

No Batmobile. No jet. No suit of armor.

Just a cheap cab that somehow perfectly matched his chaotic personality.

After getting away, he returned home—it was his and Vanessa's anniversary.

Because he'd been delayed with Sergei, Wade started spinning lies the moment he walked in—something about fighting Batman, then stopping because both their moms were named Martha.

Off-screen, the audience burst out laughing.

Many had seen the future clip where Batman nearly beat Superman… only for the whole fight to end because of that infamous "Martha" moment. A truly iconic meme.

Thor grinned watching the scene.

"Ha! I can already picture Bruce brooding harder than usual after hearing that. Gotta say, Wade—you really do know a lot of people."

Deadpool raised his hands.

"Uh-huh. I know him... he doesn't know me. Or maybe he knows my brother? Whatever! The point is—someone's trying to ruin my perfect life with Vanessa. And I bet it's that rat Sergei!"

Strange glanced sideways.

"First Francis, now Sergei. You've got your work cut out for you when you get back."

Wade scratched his head.

"Yeah, well… I'll make sure they both go straight to hell. Personally."

Back to the video—Wade and Vanessa were enjoying some heavy-handed sweetness, complete with cheesy anniversary gifts.

Deadpool gave her a special token from their first date. Vanessa, in turn, gave him even more—she wanted to have a baby.

Wade was thrilled… but nervous. Could someone like him be a good father?

Vanessa reassured him. They chatted happily about names, smiling, embracing, practically glowing.

Then disaster struck.

Deadpool, sharp as ever, immediately sensed something was wrong when the door was forced open.

Grabbing a frying pan like it was Mjölnir, he charged headfirst at the intruders.

Next came the kitchen knife—he used it to cut through the thugs like they were nothing.

Turns out, in his hands, even cooking tools were deadly weapons.

After killing the last of the attackers, Wade turned to check on Vanessa.

But the danger wasn't over.

Sergei had shown up in person, hiding behind his men like the coward he was.

With everyone else dead, he snuck up to the door and raised a gun—aimed right at Wade's back.

Wade reacted instantly, flinging his last kitchen knife at him.

Sergei flinched. The shot went wide.

Straight into Vanessa.

Wade rushed to her side, screaming.

But it was too late. She was gone.

All the joy, all the laughter, turned into gut-wrenching silence.

Wade's grief turned to fury. Without hesitation, he smashed through the window and chased Sergei down the street.

Sergei tried to flee in his car. But karma hit fast—he crashed and couldn't start the engine.

Wade tackled the car window, dragged him out—and hugged him.

Then, as a truck sped by, Wade jumped forward, dragging Sergei with him.

It was a brutal, suicidal impact.

In the video, Wade's eyes were empty—crushed by grief, consumed by guilt. With Vanessa gone, he had nothing left to live for.

But even that couldn't kill him.

The truck failed. So Wade started trying everything.

Drinking bleach. Jumping off buildings. Feeding himself to zoo animals (in front of horrified kids). OD'ing on pills.

Nothing worked.

Finally, he set up the gas barrels—and that was the explosion we'd seen earlier.

His soul drifted in what looked like an endless, quiet ocean… until he arrived in a space that glowed with warm, gentle light.

A place that looked just like his and Vanessa's cozy little home.

There, by the window, Vanessa sat peacefully in a rocking chair, basking in sunlight.

Wade stepped forward—only to be stopped by a transparent wall between them.

Much like the glowing pillars that trapped players inside the Eternal Space.

He reached out… but couldn't touch her.

_____

T/N:

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