I'm still feeling vaguely uneasy when I wake up; the warm dirt below and the cool air above sandwich me in an apathetic embrace. The surreal landscape blurs the line between dream and reality. Maybe I'm dreaming when I wake and it is the cold void that is reality, that I am actually dead. Maybe I never left that bathroom with the leaking ceiling and the barrel of the rifle is still laid softly on my tongue, unaware of the violence it wrought. I shake my head to rid myself of such thoughts. Whether dream or reality we have no choice but to confront the problems before us. Discerning what is real can be left to men with long beards and white coats who have nothing better to do with their time. Suffering forces us to action. When you are in agony, you have no time to consider the minutia of life's meaning, only the need to confront your existence. Pain is real. That's what grounds us all, connects us all. I don't know how long I've been asleep but the kids are passed out next to me.
Inari is nowhere to be found. I sit up to look around but something rolls down my chest. In my lap is the crumpled body of Woohee. She can really sleep through anything. I gently place her on a small mound of fungi and stand up to stretch.
The forest smells sweet with rot. I'm reminded, for some reason of the first time I had sex. I wouldn't call that awkward exchange making love, it was too brief. Neither would I call it fucking for it was nothing so passionate. It was like a checkpoint in a game. Something that was expected to be reached without ever being fully described. Something to high five with your friends about and then never speak of again. It was an all important moment of nothing. In hindsight, I don't really even know how it happened. We were suddenly alone on a bed, and then it was over. Maybe she also felt the need to check that box; or maybe it was like an afternoon snack, a small pleasure to be had before continuing her day. I don't even remember her name now that I think of it.
"You look well rested." I turn and look up at the lazy voice gently floating down.
"Are you not?" I ask.
"I have to babysit so I don't have time for a nap."
"Maybe you had a really restful sleep last night, I don't know."
"Should I be so lucky."
"Something on your mind?"
"Just the war, I suppose."
"Oh, right. I forgot about that."
"Should I be so lucky." She says with a drawl. I can tell she's a little depressed so I try to find something to cheer her up.
"Woohee is sleeping well. Maybe she can get enough rest for the both of you?"
A twinkle forms in Inari's eye as I point to the pile of tiny limbs, a soft smile on her lips.
"Yes, that is what keeps me awake at night. I'd like to see these children grow peacefully together. Fairies were never made to fight a war." She sighs.
"I don't think humans were either." I respond.
"You could've fooled me." Inari says sarcastically. "I don't understand why humans abuse the freedom that we fairies are blessed with. You're never satisfied, by anything. It is as if you are condemned by your freedom."
"Alright, you're definitely fucking with me because that's like, a direct quote from Satre."
"I have talked to many humans in my life, few knew how to read, and fewer had the wherewithal to wax philosophical. I am merely describing my experience with your kind. It is none of my concern if they happened upon the same thoughts. If an infinite number of Manka were set about to write, some of them would surely stumble upon truth."
"Okay, I've had just about enough of this-"
"Nick?" Sakura rubs the sleep from her eyes as she sits up.
"Hey, sleepyhead." I smile.
"Bub, I'b dowwy." Her eyes fill with tears as she struggles to get the words out of her mouth. A stream of snot threatens to fall into her mouth. "I'b dowwy, I'b dowwy."
"No, no, no!"
She runs up and grabs me while sobbing. I try to hold her back but she manages to push her face into my stomach and smear snot all over my shirt. My shoulder slump in defeat as I accept my new role as a walking handkerchief.
"It's alright. I understand." I pat her head lightly as if worried about mucus rising from her scalp.
"Waahhhhaaahhhh!"
The trees mute the wails of the pink haired little girl but not enough to prevent her from waking Josh.
"Hey, how you feeling?" I scoot toward him while still dragging Sakura along with me. He closes his eyes as if sending a probe down into himself to find out.
"I'm okay." He eventually responds.
"Good. I know you probably just got a bunch of bonus points but remember not to spend them on any physical stats."
He nods.
"By the way," I say as I turn to the Fairy sitting overhead. "How long were we out?"
"About an hour. The suns are still high in the sky."
"Oh, okay. Wait, suns?"
"Waahaaahaaa!"
"Yes. The two suns that our planet revolves around." She tilts her head with a bemused smile as she explains this to me.
"Wow, really?" I say as I look up at the leaves over head.
"Waaaaaaahaaaa!"
"Don't look up at them, idiot. You're lucky we're under the canopy."
"Pfft, no I wasn't." I lie. Sakura eventually cries herself out after apologizing many more times. "It's okay, really."
"Really?" She sniffles.
"Yes, really."
"Really, really?"
"Yes, really, really. It's okay so stop apologizing."
"Are you sure? Because I was going to kill you, you know." She says with wide eyes that are looking far past me at a very different possible future. "I was going to punch you until all the skin was gone from your face and keep punching. I was going to bite your throat out for saying no. I was going to do anything to get more levels."
A chill goes down my spine at the horrific descriptions.
"Hey, Inari; do most people have such intense reactions from leveling up?"
"How in the world would I know?"
"Fair." I decide to ask Jezabel about it later. "Anyway, it's all good now. You know what to expect so that shouldn't happen again."
"Really?" Sakura asks as she looks up at me with big puppy dog eyes.
"Yes, really, really, really. Just, please, stop."
"Aaaaaaaappp." Woohee yawns to signal she's awake which doubles as an excellent way to end the conversation.
"Hey, sleepy head." I say as I poke her tiny cheek.
"Cookie."
"I don't have any cookies, sorry."
Woohee wobbles in place momentarily before falling back down. Her quiet breaths indicating that it's time for another nap.
"You should probably leave now." Inari says, unexpectedly.
"Oh, okay. Yeah, we can-"
Thumm
The ground quakes and leaves touched by fall begin raining down upon us.
"This way." Inari calmly lifts her sleeping companion, who can sleep through a damn explosion apparently, and glides through the trees. We all hurry after her without saying a word.
Thoomm Thumm Thumm
The pace of the quakes quicken as something very large approaches. The fungus disappears, leaving the black thicket before the treeline.
"FIRE!"
I hear someone shouting as we burst out into the suns. The two towers that were set up this morning are now accompanied by four more. Huge flaming rocks are being launched from the top of the towers into the forest.
PsstZAAP
One tower is stuck by such powerful lightning that it instantly combusts. The odd thing is, the bolt didn't come from the sky.
I turn as we run towards the town and see five massive creatures bulging out from atop the shorter trees. They look like giant squids, with thick bulky bodies and several tentacles attached to the Mammoth Trees from which they hang. The monsters blanket the area with electricity causing screams with every strike.
From all our training we're definitely faster than Olympic sprinters, but I can't activate my skill without leaving the kids behind.
Somehow we make it through the barrage and arrive at the palisade. The guards don't even notice us as they stare forward at the battle. I can see the reflection of the spells on their eyes.
The sight is burns itself into my mind when I see. It's a beautiful nightmare. Hundreds of soldiers are firing a litany of magic up at the colossal cephalopods. The smell of burnt flesh fills the air. A slew of colors collide in the air creating a spectacular light show that continues for over an hour. One by one the squid monsters are focused down and hollowed out by the invading army. Their guts pour out like a hellish waterfall. I don't think I'll ever forget the smell. Burnt death clouds the air as the spells slowly fade.
As dusk arrives, the battle quiets. The last beast is felled. I look out across the battlefield littered with severed limbs and broken guts. How can it be called a victory when so much was lost on both sides.
"Hah! That'll show 'em." The Duke says as the crowd separates to allow him through. "All according to plan, ain't that right, son?"
He slaps my back as I stand frozen in place. I look up at him like a ghost, empty and listless.
"Your fairy friends are running out of buffer. With the ants slaughtered, the Magnapoly eviscerated, and the Mankas worn down, they hardly got anything left."
"..."
I don't know what to say, how could I? Joy in the face of such devastation is beyond madness.
"Oh, and before I forget," he says as he bends down and lowers his voice. "Don't think I'll forgive your participation when all this is over."
I'd feel terrified if I could feel anything at all. Instead of responding I just turn back to look at the remains of the battlefield. I don't know how many people were killed but it seems like only a handful are left picking up the pieces.
The next thing I know I'm approaching our home. I don't know when or how I got here but the sun is almost set. It all looks so surreal. Some part of me still wishes I'm sleeping back there in the woods, that this is all just something I can wake up from, easily forgotten a few minutes later. But it's not.
"Nick." I say, trying to rouse the boy residing in the back of my mind.
No response.
"Nick?" I say a little louder.
Nothing.
I sit on the side of our house and focus myself inward, far back and deep within. There I sense him, drifting.
"Nick!" I shout inside my head.
"Oh, yeah?" He says as if woken from a daze.
"You're up bud."
"Oh, but it is so comfortable in here, I could just lay here forever and fade away."
"No! Don't do that! Get out here!" I shout. Panic fills my chest at his words.
He lazily moves forward and takes control of our body.
"What was all that about?" I ask from within the mind-sea. He's not wrong, it's awfully comfortable in here.
"It just comfortable, is all." He smiles. "It's like watching myself do all these things I never could myself; like I'm the main character of my own story."
"You are! We are! We're a team."
"Right, we're a team." He replies halfheartedly. I have a very bad feeling about this. It seems I'll need to have him be in control more often. I don't know what fading away entails in this case but I'm sure it can't be good for him.
He walks in and has dinner as if nothing happened but I can't shake the well of anxiety threatening to tear me apart. Everything is falling apart.