[Edward POV]
"So, no one wants to kayak?" I muttered with a depressed tone as everyone rejected my idea.
Alex grimaced. "The river's 20 miles away. You want us to hike there. Then, rode the river current for another 20 miles, then we need to walk all the way back?"
She narrowed her eyes on me. "Are you insane?!"
"I thought we were here to have an adventure." I whined.
Jacob placed his hand on my shoulder and said, "I'll go with you Ed."
"NO!" Elsa pulled his ear and said, "You're not abandoning me for a day and a half just to risk your life in a dangerous river!"
"Oww– Babe. I already decided a long time ago– If Edward jumps off a cliff, I will too."
"NO!" Elsa pulled his ear harder to punish him.
Jenna wore a crocheted top and a bikini underneath. She came to me bringing a sandwich and said, "Eddy, why don't we just stay here and hang out?"
"Alright, fine!" I gave up and sat in front of the tv with everyone else.
We were all sitting around the bonfire, but there was a TV by the RV, which was powered up by the generator inside the RV.
So in the National Park, we were watching Netflix instead of enjoying nature.
I cracked open a can of beer, and Jenna sat next to me.
"Psst-" She called secretly. I turned to her, and she took out some blunts from her bra.
"You want one? Keep it a secret from Alex! She's going to freak out if she knew." Jenna whispered.
I grinned and took the blunt from her. "Why would she freak out? It's already legal."
Jenna helped me light up the blunt with a lighter. Then, I helped her to light up hers.
Jacob saw it and said, "Hey! Are you smoking Marijuana right now?! That's disgusting!"
His face was full of disdain towards it. Alex gasped as she heard it and turned to me, face full of disbelief.
"Edward! You're smoking pot! And you're even bringing Jenna into it!?" Alex said accusingly.
"Eddy!" Jenna gasped, pretending that she was tricked by me.
I snickered and said, "Yes. Definitely. When I want to relax, I definitely would choose a cheap dope for it as I have no class at all."
"Hey! It's quite expensive!" Jenna scolded me. Alex was agape, and she looked at Jenna with disappointment.
Jenna stuck her tongue out and said, "Come on Alex. Relax! It's already legal now, right?"
Alex stammered and said, "It– It is passed. But– still, it's not good for you!"
"Really? Cause I've been doing this routinely for the past three years, and I still came out with the cure for cancer." I said as I inhaled the smoke deeply.
Half of the blunt turned into ash and fell to the ground.
Alex was in denial and said, "Yo– You're a singularity in the universe. Nothing about you can be used as an example of what a normal thing should be."
I smirked and took it as a compliment. "Aww, thanks dear."
"Shut it!" She scolded me. Finneas also took out a blunt from his pocket and called out to his ex.
"Hey Alex! See, I'm lighting a blunt too. You need to scold me next." He said needily.
My eyes flashed pity as I looked at him, desperately trying to get his ex-girlfriend, and the woman he still loved's attention.
But Alex ignored him, not even turning to see what he was doing.
"I'm melting some crack cocaine now." Finneas yelled. "I'm going to be injecting this straight into my bloodstream unless you turn towards me."
Jacob came to me and asked, "Do you have any left?"
"Yeah. Jenna stores some in her boobs." I replied.
"No Jacob! The boob blunts are only for Eddy! He's the only one who can take it from there. Just get some from Enid."
"ENID?!" Alex was flabbergasted when she heard the name. Enid grinned and reached into her pink backpack. Then, she took out a huge bag of marijuana.
Alex's eyes almost rolled back in shock. Elsa grimaced and said, "Enid. What's– Why did you even have a large amount of pot with you?"
"Well. Interesting story." Enid shared excitedly. "I saw it at a garage sale. I thought it was a cat nip at first. So I bought it. It turns out to be marijuana."
Jenna added, "So Enid wants to destroy the evidence by leaving it here– in the middle of knowhere."
Alex finally sighed in relief and turned to Enid, asking, "Is that true?"
"Yeah. It's trash anyway, like Edward said." Enid replied cheekily.
I nodded and said, "It really is trash marijuana." I grimaced as I looked at the blunt. "I think it's part catnip too."
Enid and Jenna laughed at my scowling face.
Finneas interjected, asking, "Do you usually smoke premium ones?"
I nodded at him. He grinned nervously and held out both of his hands, "Can I have some of that? Please… Sir?"
"Nuh-uh." I rejected him quickly. "I'm not going to offer you anything bad that I was doing myself. Okay?"
"Why not?!" Enid asked whiningly.
I wanted to reply, but my mind came out blank.
"Just because… Well, I don't really remember the reason. Maybe I don't want to be a bad influence."
"BFD. We had done it with you a couple of times before." Jenna rolled her eyes and crossed her arms together.
"Yes, but I was never the one who offered it." I said. "Yea-" Jenna paused midway as she realized I was talking the truth.
She was the one who brought it before, not me.
"Hey! You never gave us any!" Jenna smiled in elation, seemingly impressed.
Alex tapped her fingers, her eyes were conflicted. She said, "Well Ed. I think it's already too late if you don't want to become a bad influence on us."
"What's that supposed to mean?" I said defensively.
Alex pointed at Jacob and said, "Excessive work-out. Possibly abusing steroids" She turned to Enid and said, "She's an obsessive stalker."
She pointed at Jenna. "Drug whore."
She pointed at Finneas. "Serial womanizer."
She pointed at herself, "You made me study till I lost my hair."
Everyone protested at the same time.
"I didn't abuse steroids!" Jacob clamored.
Finneas looked down with disbelief. Jenna widened her eyes in shock and said, "Drug whore!? Seriously?!"
"Hey! I'm not obsessive!" Enid retorted. I chuckled and teased her, "But you admit you're a stalker?"
Enid was taken aback. Then, she grinned and said creepily, "Only for you."
"Urgh." Alex shuddered. Enid turned to her angrily. "Hey! Bald spot! I'm not the one who's attacking all of her friends because she's projecting."
"Projecting? Projecting what?!" Alex argued.
"The fact that your ex had slept with 10 women after you broke up , but you're still a virgin!" Enid meanly exposed Alex.
As soon as she said that, Enid realized she had gone too far.
"Al– Alex I'm so soo sorry." Enid apologized, trying to touch Alex's hand, but she swatted her away.
Then, Alex walked away from the campsite to be alone.
"Oh my god, Enid!" Jenna scolded. "It's not my fault. If anything, IT'S HIS!" Enid pointed at Finneas.
Finneas was flabbergasted when the fingers were pointing at him.
I chucked and said, "Should I go talk to Alex?"
"No…I mean… I think you should." Enid said with a tired sigh. She wanted to to but she figured Alex would just walk further away if she went.
…
I saw Alex kicking some stones angrily at the side of the cliff.
"Hey, you want some catnip?" I asked her.
She turned and glared at me before turning her back away.
"So! You came here to say that I'm being ridiculous huh?" Alex guessed accusatorily.
"I'm not going to say that." I replied as I stood next to her.
Alex became annoyed and said, "Don't try to pretend I'm not being ridiculous. I know I'm being one, so just admit it."
"You're not ridiculous." I clarified again.
She grimaced and said, "You know, this all wouldn't happen if you weren't such a man-whore."
"I apologize for listening to my bodily instinct." I said casually. I knew she was just venting, so it didn't hurt my feelings at all.
"It's– It's just… Disgusting. You know? Men are disgusting." Alex added with frustration.
"We kinda are." I agreed with her again.
"He broke up with me, just to sleep with other girls. Now he wants me again? Like what? I'm just an afterthought?" She vented.
"He really was unreasonable."
"RIGHT?!" Alex felt relieved when I agreed with her. "God!... It's not like I don't want to get back together with him. I just… can't stand to look at his face now."
I just listened first. Alex kicked the stone again.
"I'm not ready to take him back yet. Maybe, I need to sleep with 10 guys first. Then, I'll see if he likes that and he still wants me back after all that." Alex said without thinking.
I looked at her with confusion. Taken aback, she met my eyes and asked, "What?"
"You want to sleep with 10 guys?" I asked with disbelief, and a little teasing.
She blushed and said, "Shut up. It's a pleasure of speech– I MEAN FIGURE OF SPEECH!"
I gasped and laughed at her slip of tongue. She hit my arm and said, "Shut it Newgate!"
"You little perv."
"Shut it!!!!!!"
After calming down, I told her, "Don't worry about Finneas. He'll understand why you reject him– if he don't, then I'll help him with it."
Alex sighed slightly. "I just need… more time."
"Luckily for you, the world doesn't end, so we have all the time in the world!" I leaned backwards slightly and said cheekily.
Alex looked at me with exasperation. I laughed nervously and said, "You know you should thank me for that."
"Yeah yeah." Alex finally smiled. "Thank you for letting me have a loooot more time to think about my doomed relationship instead of just ending the world."
"You're welcome!" I said seriously despite her lacing her words with sarcasm.
Alex laughed and her mood was lifted. Then, I said, "It will be pretty embarrassing when you walk back to the camp huh?"
"Oh my god." Her mood crashed again. "I have to walk there with every eye looking at me."
"Unless–" She turned to me suddenly and asked, "You still have that catnip?"
I gasped in surprise.
…
20 minutes after we returned to the camp, everyone was sitting around the bonfire and had a blunt in their hands. My premium blunts– not the catnip pot.
(based on That 70s show circle scenes)
They giggled and became slightly high from the smokes.
"Oh man. When Alex stormed off, I didn't even care about why since her butt jiggles when she walks." Jacob admitted without anyone asking.
"What??!" Elsa turned to him with anger, but it mellowed out within seconds. Elsa grinned and said, "Yeah, Alex has a nice ass."
"Can we stop talking about my ass and talk about something more important?" Alex interjected.
Then, she picked up the talking cactus toy and said, "Why is this particular cactus never discovered by scientists in this world?"
The toy mimicked her words and repeated it, which surprised her. "Oh my god, the cactus can talk! I'm going to become famous!"
Enid popped her lips and turned to me, asking, "Edward. Why am I still a virgin?"
"How should I know?" I smiled, smoking 10 blunts at the same time and laughing madly.
Enid giggled and said, "Alex said I'm a stalker. I'm not a stalker! To be clear. I just have some of his albums… his posters… some of his hair I picked from his house… his used clothes… his worn underwear–"
Jenna interjected, saying, "Hey! We should all go skinny dipping again! I want to be naked and dance inside the hot spring!"
Finneas cried and said, "I should've treated her better, man! Why do I keep letting my small brain override my big one?!"
Jacob turned to him and said, "it's because. Our penis is actually an alien species attached to our body from a million years ago. Sometimes, it can take over our brain to ensure the propagation of its species!"
I looked at Jacob with shock for a few seconds. Then, he grinned and said, "Wait… What did I just say?"
Elsa ranted, "I felt like I'm becoming just an accessory to Jacob now. I have lost my own identity. But you know what?! I'm not even mad at it since Jacob is such a good guy!"
I giggled and said, "Someday, I'm going to live on the moon!"
…
It was dark outside when the others finished their otherworldy trip.
My effect had worn off in just a couple minutes after that, but it took them very long to get over it.
The girls were trying to remove their clothes and dance, so I locked up all four of them inside the RV.
That wasn't even the best part.
Enid ran on all four, pretending to be a wolf for a few minutes before she stopped as she was hurting her hand. She cried as she tried to get me to comfort her.
Finneas sang for a long time until his voice turned all hoarse.
Alex wrote a research paper on the toy cactus. Then, she got into an argument with it since it kept mimicking her words.
It ended up with her throwing the cactus off a cliff then crying and calling herself a murderer.
Jenna kept doing a rain dance for some reason.
Elsa rode Jacob around– not in a sexual way, but she stuck on his back the entire time. He thought he lost her and kept searching for her everywhere.
"I'm starving!" Alex said as she rushed to the folding table after getting out of the RV.
I had made a lot of food since I knew they would want to eat after getting over their trip.
Finneas, Jacob, Elsa, Enid and Jenna all came to almost at the same time and began stuffing their mouths with food.
"Oh my god! This is soo gooddddd!" Enid exclaimed, ripping off the barbeque meat with her bare hand and ate it like a savage.
Jenna ate a footlong sub and asked for more. Jacob and Elsa ate some spaghetti together, not minding their manners at all and had sauces all over their faces and shirts.
Finneas ate some chocolate bars. He asked with a hoarse voice, "So Edward. What did we miss?"
"I'll tell you later. It's so funny." I said with a snicker.
Enid asked, "Hey, why are my hands bandaged?"
"Wait. It's past midnight." Alex finally saw the time on her phone. "It's 2013! We're already an hour into the new year!"
Everyone gasped in disbelief. Enid suddenly cried and said, "I missed out on kissing Edward when the New Year countdown dropped!"
…
The next morning, everyone was burnt out by the camping trip. All of them slept inside the RV.
I opened a portal and brought the RV straight to my house without going through the bumpy ride again.
I let my friends sleep longer and when they woke up, I sent them back to their homes.
"It's a really great camping trip." Alex said. "We should do it again sometime."
"After you slept with 10 men?" I teased.
"Shut up! You have slept with a lot more people than that." Alex retorted.
I laughed and said, "That's true."
Claire opened the door as she heard the RV pulled up and smiled in excitement as she saw me. "Edward! Happy New Year!"
"Excuse me! I am your daughter–"
Claire immediately changed to hug Alex before she could finish speaking.
"So, how's your trip?" Claire asked, being a bit nosy.
"It's fine." Alex replied ambiguously. "It's a pretty tame trip."
"I'm glad." Claire breathed in relief. "I thought you were going to try drugs and have unprotected sex–"
Claire stopped abruptly as she realized she was being too honest. Alex looked horrified and disgusted at Claire.
"Oh my god mom!"
"Ho–Honey, I'm not saying you did all that. I said I'm relieved. That's a big difference there."
I laughed when I saw their arguments. Then, I waved goodbye at them and went back to my house.
Robin approached me when I was taking a shower. Like butt naked, underneath the running water and shampooing my hair.
She handed me a waterproof tablet. "Your concert venue will be ready in a few days. Should we plan for rehearsals before the actual event?" She asked.
I spat out some water from my mouth and picked up the tablet. "Robin, what did I tell you about personal space?"
"My memory cache is a bit glitchy from all of the extra work I've been doing for the past year." Robin smirked playfully.
I rolled my eyes and said, "The venue is fine. Although, I saw the list of performers– There's a lot of people who want to join in?"
"Yes." Robin replied. "I told them I will announce the names of the performers who got picked tomorrow. So you have to decide on it today."
"Alright." I replied easily. "Now get out of here Robin!" I scolded.