"Let them come in," Andrei said, glancing up at the official poster of Peter the great hanging on the wall.
Andrei seated on a Tsarist-style throne, ministers and officials lined up neatly behind him. This was supposed to be his first proper diplomatic setting.
Interior Minister Pugo opened the door and ushered the guests inside.
"Your Excellency," Pugo said, "allow me to introduce Ambassador Yu Hongliang of the People's Republic of China, and Ambassador Alfred S. Gonsalves of India."
"It's a pleasure to meet you," Andrei said. He put on a polite smile and walked up to them himself for a handshake.
Andrei had made it clear that he wanted nothing to do with foreign affairs. Domestic stability came first, everything else could wait.
For that he halted all aid missions and cancelled all unfavorable trade agreements.
Privately, Pugo had spent months convincing him to make an exception for these two.
Unlike most countries, India and China weren't artificial states that could be flipped overnight. They were real countries. Huge populations, massive territory, deeply rural societies that didn't get easily swayed by foreign propaganda. You couldn't just roll in NGOs and expect a regime change.
Because of their size alone, they couldn't be conquered. And because of how their societies worked, they were hard to destabilize from the inside.
The Soviet Union needed players like that, countries that weren't fully under Washington's thumb. If the U.S. ever tried an economic blockade, Moscow would need a backdoor. Even at the height of Soviet power, the West had never been truly overwhelmed. Now, weakened and unstable, Andrei needed help more than ever.
"I'll be honest with you. I need your help. I'll be learning from you elders."
He didn't mind a bit of self-deprecation. Both men were hardline moscow aligned communists anyway.
The Chinese ambassador cleared his throat. "Your Excellency, it's… unusual to ask this so directly. Given the current state of relations between our countries, such matters should be discussed with political leadership. I can make arrangements."
The Indian ambassador nodded. "It's much the same for us. Still, the Prime Minister sends his regards and is willing to cooperate, especially in economic areas."
Andrei understood what that meant. Neither of them truly represented their governments. They were here because they were loyal communists, not because Delhi or Beijing had made a firm decision.
The relationship between these countries was an open one. And like all open relationships, everyone cheated.
China and India both did business with the U.S., but they still sent people to Moscow when the gifts were good enough. Despite that, Andrei trusted all of therm terrified of USA.
Suppressing protests was easy. You send in troops, crack heads, and it's over. But facing an organized enemy with guns, funding, and foreign backing? That scared him.
Andrei was stuck.
No allies. No real friends. Just distant acquaintances and a long list of enemies.
....
They talked a bit longer, mostly about economics and domestic corporations. Andrei was interested in which sectors could benefit from mutual cooperation. The ambassadors were clearly annoyed. They had been expecting grand strategy, not a PowerPoint presentation.
But Andrei insisted. The Soviet leadership had been so focused on foreign entanglements that they ignored domestic stability. Look where that got them. A country held together by vodka and wishful thinking.
Finally, the Chinese ambassador asked, "Your Excellency, about Afghanistan. Do you have any thoughts? Is the Soviet Union really leaving the Afghans to their fate?" "Oh… yeah, about that," Andrei said, smiling bitterly.
That was the real reason he hated foreign entanglements. He knew Afghanistan was a lost cause. The Soviet-backed government there was nothing but torturers and opportunists with no real support. So he had ordered a systematic evacuation.
It went badly.
Weapons were abandoned and fell straight into enemy hands. The Red Army took a serious morale hit. Veterans came home traumatized.
Worse, the new extremist government declared jihad and launched attacks aimed at stirring unrest among Muslims in the Central Asian republics.
Thankfully, Andrei being half Tajik meant he still had a decent reputation in the region. Because of that, any serious rebellion was unlikely. Still, it was a sore in his backside.
And as if to remind him that foreign affairs were absolutely not something an idiot like him should be handling, the Afghan refugee situation only made everything worse. Shooting protesters was way easier than dealing with this mess.
---
"Ahem…" the Indian ambassador said, placing several thick files on the table. "We also have a few messages from friends all over the world, addressed directly to Your Excellency. Please decide."
"Messages" was putting it lightly. It was a mountain of complaints from Soviet proxies scattered across the globe. Africa, Asia, Latin America, the Middle East everyone was crying about something.
It was clear the U.S. had been busy, smashing left-wing proxies by backing right-wing extremists wherever it could. Andrei tried to make excuses. "Uh, you see, I am busy with the Iraq situation." Even he thought it was a bad excuse. Because he knew he knew that Bush was going to invade Iraq. (It got delayed in this timeline) Andrei had wanted to sell Saddam out as a favor. A little quid pro quo.
But clearly he was too influenced by American propaganda and thought Saddam was an idiot. Which he wasn't. The moment Saddam got any hint of Andrei's plan, he flew to Moscow and caused an international scandal.
"Wuu… Look at me! I am the poor dictator who was abandoned by the great general secretary! I am so sad!" This caused a major uproar, forcing Andrei to guarantee Iraqi sovereignty.
---
At some level, Andrei could understand the restless old fokes in the establishment. It had been a generation since they were the masters of the world. Now suddenly their toy was stolen. The children couldn't help but throw a tantrum at their parent.
Andrei hardly cared. The other Politburo members, though, looked like they were on the verge of tears. There were many heartfelt messages from the puppets that the Soviet Union had cultivated for generations.
Again, though, not all of them were pleasing, some accusing Andrei directly. The most brutal takedown came from Castro, asking whether the Soviet Union had become a third world country. Although Andrei was furious, he knew he couldn't really handle the aura of this Latin Gigachad.
Maybe it was his dislike of being a cog of capitalism in his last life, or the default setting of this life. Either way, Andrei found himself as the Dear Leader of leftists.
Since he couldn't really sell them out yet, because the optics would be terrible, Andrei decided to take up the mantle and give it an honest shot. "Okay, okay, alright," Andrei said, rubbing his temples. "I'll do something."
He waved his hand dismissively. "First, give all of them Soviet visas. Put them to work. Let them enjoy the fruits of their labor. Without doing labor themselves, how can they be leftist? Set up multinational companies or whatever. We need personnel anyway." He paused. "As for the U.S… ahem. Just lay low for now. I'll think of something. Probably. Maybe. Don't quote me on that."
The ambassadors stared at him. Interior minister Pugo coughed. "Your Excellency, the Americans are not known for their patience."
"Neither am I," Andrei said. "But I'm also not known for starting wars I can't win. So we wait. " He looked down at the pile of complaints. "Starting with these people. Someone get me a translator. And a drink."