It was clear to Tina that she needed to go. After all, it was not like she was going to stay living in the house with Diana. That was going to be her plan anyway, to move out and go to college, but now with the loss of her dad and boyfriend too. It was not like she wanted to follow through with going to the same college that she had set things up with after all she was only going there so that she could be close to Ken.
Tina's eyes were open with no real goal to chase, and the fact that the sadness that she was feeling made her not want to get out of bed. All she wanted to do was just lay there and cry. Nothing seemed to matter to her anymore eating, dressing, and how she looked. It was, all the same, nothing mattered.
Tina found that she had nothing in her life left to live for and that just made her feel all the more useless. With the way that she was feeling she would have just laid in bed and wasted away to nothing, but the fact that she didn't want to be in that same house as her supposed mom made her get up and get going.
Without a word to anyone Tina packed a bag and just put in it the things that she was certain she was going to be needing. She figured that she would be able to get the rest of her stuff later once she found a place that she was going to want to be. At this point, she had no place that she wanted to be, but she did know that she didn't want to be here.
If she had just found out about her mom then she would have been upset that they had been lying to her for years, but she felt like she could have forgiven them knowing that it was not a trick on her. It was so that she wouldn't have to deal with the loss of her mom being that young. If it was just her mom and dad that it happened to, then she could have turned to Ken and relied on him to help her get through it all. Or if it was just Ken she would have turned to her dad for the help and the love that she needed.
After closing her suitcase, she wondered where she should go or even in what direction she should head off in. She knew that she only had a limited amount of money, so she knew that she was not going to be flying anywhere unless she wanted to pretty much strip herself of all her cash. But she knew that her dad had set up a trust for her a long time ago and at least it was some kind of safety blanket. It was not like she was going to be able to just live on it, but it was enough that it would bail her out of any rough situation that she would find herself getting into.
Tina stepped out the front door and looked back at the only real home that she had ever known. It was like the house was no longer a home to her, the only love that she had was now gone. As she looked around at the places where she had had so much fun playing and all the happy memories of them and now, they had turned all so bitter, she no longer wanted even to think of them.
Tina braced herself as she pulled the locked door closed knowing that the only way that she was going to be coming back was if Diana dies and everything is left to her, but even then, the memories that she had of the place were all lies, and she was not going to want to remember her dad that way.
There was a positive thing and that was at least when she pulled the locked door closed behind her. Part of the sadness left her, and she was finally able to stop crying, at least for a while. The sadness was still there but at least she was able to distract herself a little. She had thought about staying around for the funerals, but she knew that it was going to be too hard to face the fact that she didn't want to see them buried. It would make this all so final and too real to face. This way it was more like she would see them again sometime.
She had gathered every sent that she could lay her hands on and the fact that she had a small trust that her dad had set up for her years ago was going to be a huge help. The car that she had, she really hated driving. It was more of a showpiece than something to drive around, and it had way more power under the hood than she was wanting. The car really scared her to even try and drive it. She didn't want to take it to drive it all over, but that was going to be better than trying to get places on a bus.
Just looking at the car made her even sadder. Her dad had picked out everything and that is why it had too much power in it. The car was not so bad when Ken was with her, she would just have him drive it when they were together, but it was never going to be that way again.
Now Tina just sat there behind the wheel. She was not driving based on the fact that she was just scared to do it. She was not driving because she had no idea where to go. At least nowhere she wanted to be now the plans that Ken and she were going to go and do. That included going to college. But now she no longer had the desire to go to college. She had no real desires left in her other than leaving the place that was making her hurt. She knew that she was going to be missing her friends, but she knew with college happening that she was not going to be seeing them anyway. So, it was all for the best that she was going away. She knew that her friends were going to be missing her too, but she just could not face them saying goodbye. So, she took the time to leave a few letters and dropped them off in the mail before leaving, while others she sent an email before she turned off her phone so that even if they did try and talk to her, they could not convince her to come back and stay.
It all left her wondering where she was going to go, and what she was going to do. She didn't want to do anything that she had planned to do with Ken now. The things were mostly things that he wanted to do, and she was willing to do them all just to be with someone who she felt wanted her.
Now as she sat there behind the steering wheel, she pulled up to a stop sign and she wondered just which way to go. She was feeling more alone now than she ever had before. That started weighing harder on her, and she knew that there was just no way out. If only her best friend was not going to go away to college with her love, then she would have just tried to get her to come along.
As she sat there steering blankly at the roads that stretched out before her, she was just unsure which way she wanted to go. She would have just kept sitting there except that a car came up from behind her and she knew that she had to go.
On a quick decision the fact that she had to move, and she just wanted to get out of the other car's way. So, she made a right turn to start her true adventure.
Once she made it out of town, she knew that it was going to be the last time that she would ever see this place or at least that was what she had in mind at that time. There was just something about leaving and never turning back that was driving her on. It was sending chills down her spine and giving her a small amount of excitement. She could not deny that there was some small amount of excitement that was coming from the fact that she was going to be doing something different and that she was going to be going places that she had never been before. It just would have been so much better if she had been doing this with someone.
The miles passed quickly as she was just driving but her mind was not really there, everything was just kind of a blur along the way. She would not have even stopped except because she had to because the car needed gas. Once she had filled the car, she heard her stomach rumbling, she had not really felt hungry, but she knew that she had not bothered to eat since she was out on a date with Ken.
Tina knew that she was bad at skipping meals and since everything that had happened, she really had not thought about eating. But the smell of the dinner at the gas station was enticing her enough to go inside and see what they had.
Tina looked at the place it was a little diner that had a gas station attached to one side. The place looked like it was built in the fifties and really had not been updated since it opened. Even though all the colors were faded by the sun you could tell that the place had been kept clean and well-repaired even though most of the stools that sat at the counter looked like they probably should have been replaced a long time ago.
As she opened the door every head in the place looked up at her. That instantly made her feel so self-conscious that she just wanted to turn around and leave. She almost did when the waitress said, "Welcome, come on in and take a seat I'll be right there to take your order."
Tina looked at her, she was tall and very thin almost to the point that she was starting to look really frail as if a strong breeze came along, it would blow her away as well. She was dressed in the diner uniform that had been cut very low in the front and the skirt that they had her in was too short to be comfortable.
Tina knew that they had her dressed this way so that it would lure in all the male truck drivers that were passing through and judging by how full the place was it had been working.
By the looks of it, she had been working here for years, probably since she was young. The outfit was starting to look on the worn-out side but it looked clean and pressed, and just like everything else it looked old but well taken care of.
Tina went in and looked around all the booths were filled except two and the bar was loaded. She could tell that most of them were truckers based on all the trucks that were parked in the lot. Tina uncomfortably moved over to the nearest booth that was open and took a seat.
It seemed like every eye in the place had followed her every movement it looked like she was a new piece of meat that had been hung out for the hungry lions to fight over.
Things went back to normal quickly once she took a seat and wound up with only a few staring at her and every time she would look their way at least they would try and act like they had not been staring at her.
Tina let out a scream as someone grabbed her from behind and covered her eyes.