"Have you ever wondered why you were birthed? Or why you even still exist? What your purpose is... assuming you even have one?
I do. I wonder every single day. I look at the red, stagnant sky of Gaya and I wish I could just stop breathing. It's a morbid thought, I know, but it feels so much easier than the messy, violent act of killing yourself, doesn't it? Just to cease. To blink and have the world go dark."
I was pulled from the depths of my own head by Hazel's shrill, excited voice echoing down the hallway of the palace. The sound bounced off the obsidian walls, grating against my nerves.
"Ria! I can't believe the time has finally come!" she squealed, practically vibrating as she rounded the corner. "I'm actually going to visit the human world! Can you imagine? The sights, the smells, the trouble I can get into?"
I leaned against the cold stone, crossing my arms over my chest. My wings felt heavy and itchy, tucked tightly against my back. "I don't see why you're so thrilled. Humans are utterly disgusting, Hazel. They're fragile, selfish little creatures who don't think about anything but their own fleeting desires."
Hazel stopped in her tracks, scoffing as she tossed her dark hair over her shoulder. "Spoken like someone who's never been there, and according to Father, someone who never will."
The words hit like a physical blow to the stomach. I didn't let my expression flicker, but the hollow ache in my chest widened. I didn't say another word; I just turned and walked away, the heels of my boots clicking a lonely rhythm against the floor as I retreated to my sanctuary.
Welcome to my life. My name is Ria Venae Asmodeus. Yes, that Asmodeus. My father is a Demon Lord, one of the seven kings, and I am his sixty-seventh child. You'd think being the sixty-seventh would make me invisible, but lucky me, I'm the favorite. That "favor" earned me a few privileges the other children were denied, like the authority over the demon army here in Gaya.
But it's a hollow title. A gold-plated cage.
I can fly and I can read minds. It sounds impressive to a human, I'm sure, but in Hell? It's basic. Boring. Other demons can shapeshift, possess the living, or conjure hellfire. Me? I'm the half-breed who can't even fight. My father forbade it because, unlike my siblings, I can't regenerate. My human blood makes me permanent. If I lose a limb, it stays gone. If I die, there is no coming back.
I was staring at the intricate carvings on my bedroom door, spiraling into the usual "useless piece of garbage" thought process, when the door slammed open. No knocking, no respect for privacy, just the chaotic whirlwind that was Hazel.
"I'm sorry," she said, her voice dropping the second she saw the look in my eyes. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings earlier. About the human world."
I looked at her, really looked at her. Hazel was my father's thirty-fourth child, my elder sister, and honestly, the only person in this infernal pit I actually liked. She was centuries older than me, powerful enough to have once wiped out five thousand rogue demons in a single, terrifying blow. I had been a mere hundred and sixty-four years old then, watching from the shadows in awe.
"Ria? Are you even listening to me? I said I'm sorry!" She waved a hand in front of my face.
"My mother..." The words slipped out, unbidden and raw. An awkward, heavy silence filled the room, the kind that makes your skin crawl.
Hazel cleared her throat and sat beside me on the bed. The silk sheets rustled under her weight as she reached out. "What about her, Ria?"
"What happened to her?" I whispered, my gaze fixed on my lap. "Everyone else has a demoness for a mother, or a succubus. I have... a ghost. A secret."
Hazel reached out, pulling me into a rare, tight hug. For a moment, the coldness of Gaya faded. I leaned into her, desperate for a connection, before pulling back to search her eyes. "You should know something. Anything. You were alive when it happened."
Hazel hesitated, then a small, playful smirk touched her lips. "Some people did say... they said Father ate her."
She started laughing. The sound was bright and musical, but it felt like a serrated blade in my ear. My hands began to shake, a surge of heat radiating from my stomach that had nothing to do with the literal fires of Hell.
"It's my mother, Hazel! You think I don't deserve the truth?" My voice cracked, raw and trembling. "Last time I checked, Father was a Lord of Lust, not Gluttony. That isn't funny!"
I didn't wait for her to apologize again. I stormed out of the room, my vision blurred by a cocktail of rage and grief. I heard her shouting my name, but a lower, calmer voice intervened, Nagas, her boyfriend.
"Let her be," I heard him murmur. "She needs space. I'll have a word with her."
I kept running until I reached the third-floor balcony. I collapsed onto the stone bench, looking out at the horizon. In Gaya, the sky is always a bruised, blood-red. There is no sun, no moon, just the eternal glow of the second circle. Down below, I could see the flickers of the Lustful, thousands of souls caught in a perpetual wind, blown about by the same passions they couldn't control in life. Back in the day, we had "celebrities" like Cleopatra and Helen of Troy. Now? It's a sea of reality TV stars and people who spent too much time in their neighbors' DMs.
A soft rustle of scales announced his arrival before he even spoke.
Nagas. He's eight thousand years old, a serpent demon from the lower caste kingdom of Laila. His father, Vasuki, is a king, but he doesn't sit at the high table with my father. Not that it matters to me. Nagas is... perfect. He can transform into a massive snake, or stay in a form that is so hauntingly beautiful it makes the Angels in Heaven weep with envy.
"The wind is particularly violent tonight," Nagas said, leaning against the railing next to me. He didn't have horns, snake demons are spared that particular agony. For regular demons like me and Hazel, our horns pop through the skin of our foreheads whenever we take our true forms. It's a bloody, painful process that never gets easier.
"I hate it here," I whispered, not looking at him. "I hate that I'm a General who can't lead. I hate that I'm a daughter who doesn't know her own origin."
Nagas shifted, his movements fluid and feline. He reached out, his hand hovering near mine, and for a second, I thought he might take it. "Gaya is a place of longing, Ria. That is its nature. But remember, even in the second circle, you are the only thing that isn't a shadow."
I looked at him, my heart doing that stupid human flutter thing. He was the only one who didn't look at me like a broken toy. But as I looked out over the red wastes, I knew that being "special" in Hell was just another way of saying you were alone.