"You mean it wasn't supposed to send me to some weird world or make me encounter the one who caused my nightmare?" John asked, his voice still edged with a mix of wonder and lingering confusion. He sat on the edge of the bed, the ethereal echoes of his recent experience still fresh in his mind.
Saya's shoulders slumped slightly, a sigh escaping her lips. Her usually vibrant purple hair seemed to dim in the soft morning light. "No, that wasn't the intention at all. What I attempted was a bridge, a conduit to the spirits who could truly offer you solace and understanding in this moment. Your parents and yes even Alice. The goal was to bring you all to a middle ground, a transient space between the realms of life and death, so you could find closure, say a final goodbye, before you returned here and they continued their journey into the afterlife." She paused, her voice growing softer, almost a whisper. "I was trying to do something good with this cursed power of mine. I truly believed it could serve a purpose beyond its normal destructive applications." Shame tinged her tone, reflecting a deep-seated fear of her own abilities.
John saw the vulnerability in her eyes and gently reached out, placing a hand on her arm. "You did good. You really did. It helped me more than you seem to realize." He offered her a small, comforting hug, feeling her initial stiffness give way as she leaned into it, a faint blush rising to her cheeks. "Maybe the 'weird world' was just a reaction to that other person's class or some unseen force interfering. But even with that it did help me. I got some final words with Alice, even if it did create some new questions." He pulled back slightly, a thoughtful frown creasing his brow.
Ash, ever pragmatic yet prone to flights of imaginative speculation, inched closer, her eyes bright with curiosity. "Are you sure she's gone, though? I mean, maybe she faked her death, or used a dummy like Light or Lelouch? Or perhaps she came back from the dead like Kei in Gantz? Or what if she's a spirit that has returned to life, like Yuichi, but she's just scared to come close to you and is keeping her distance?" The barrage of pop culture references, while amusing, highlighted a genuine concern.
John gave it some sincere thought, picturing Alice's fierce spirit. He let out a deep sigh, shaking his head as a familiar stab of pain struck him yet somehow duller than before. "No, she's gone. I could feel it deeply inside and just knew. And I don't think she's a spirit hiding or that she's holding herself back, you knew her long enough to know she isn't like that. Alice, if she were watching, if she were present in any form she wouldn't hide. She'd come right up to me before probably slapping me across the face like you did when you were berating me for acting how I did. She'd confront me, demand answers and make her presence known. That's her way. But I don't know, maybe it was just a different her or something? Either way I don't want to get hung up on it, I don't want to fall back into how I was, that path leads not to madness but despair." He told them, voice growing softer at the end.
Angel, who had been observing the spiritual residue of Saya's attempt with an almost clinical intensity, now spoke, her voice measured. "Master, this one possesses a rudimentary understanding of spiritual work. And this one has not noticed such marks or connections upon Master that would indicate a lingering spirit of that magnitude. This one would sense it if it were such a case with Master, much like it is with the purple sword-swinger." She pointed a slender finger at Saya, her eyes narrowing slightly. "This one wishes, with Master's permission, to train the purple one. This one feels a strange ache watching how the purple one wields her gift. It is reminiscent of one attempting to fell an ancient oak with a dull rock. It is crude, inefficient and a profound waste of the undeniable talent this one can perceive within her."
John looked between Angel's earnest, almost analytical expression and Saya's surprised but intrigued face. "If she wants to, then you can teach her a bit," he said, laying down clear boundaries. "But it's entirely up to her and nothing that could harm her or make her uncomfortable. You will respect her words and her boundaries, Angel."
Angel's forehead creased into a small frown. "But Master, the matters relating to spirits are never truly safe or comfortable. To delve into such realms is inherently…" She began, but a look from John tempered her words before Saya spoke up again.
"It's okay Angel. And John, I appreciate your concern, I really do." Saya offered a small, sad smile. "But I know what she means. It's not something easy to explain. The best way I can put it is that if you dive too far into it you start to feel… dirty. And don't forget what I said when we first met about the Abyss. It was more literal than you might think for me." Her voice softened further, carrying a weary acceptance. "I am a tainted monster and I've already come to accept that. Nothing will change it. Rather, if I can learn from someone who can actually help guide me, who understands this domain, then I want to take the offer. I don't want to be useless. I want to stand alongside you from now on, to face whatever is to come!" The weariness in her eyes was replaced by a determined fire, burning with a newfound resolve.
John met her gaze, his expression serious. "Alright. But remember, no matter what, you're no monster and you're not tainted. You're one of the few friends I have left, one of the few I can truly trust and know has my back." His words were firm, a non-negotiable truth. He then rose, stretching slightly and headed towards the bathroom door.
"Now, I think you girls should get ready," he announced, turning back to them. "I'd like to get cleaned up and then I'll make some breakfast. For us and I suppose also for those outside."
Aria, ever bold, practically bounced towards him, her eyes sparkling. "I can join you if you want, Master! I can wash your back and you can wash mine!" She chirped, her offer devoid of malice but not of mischief. John, however, was quicker, closing the door firmly in her face just as she reached it.
"Nope. It's still far too soon for something like that," he called through the closed door, his voice echoing slightly. Aria pouted dramatically, while the others let out soft giggles, a brief moment of levity in the morning.
It was an hour and a half later when everyone gathered for a meal. The girls—Saya, Ash, Angel and Aria—chose to eat outside with the group of returnees. John joined them, but deliberately sat a small distance away, his posture signaling a clear boundary. He ignored any form of small talk or tentative attempts at conversation from the new arrivals, his focus solely on his plate.
"I… I could take over the cooking again, Master," May said softly, breaking the tense silence, her voice hesitant. "To earn my keep and as a form of work." She and the others had spent much of the previous night talking, the gravity of their choice to leave and the mistake they had made finally settling upon them. While they were unsure how to navigate this new situation, they had all agreed to stay with John and the others this time, determined not to repeat their error.
At her words, John slowly turned his head to look at her, a deep frown etched on his face. His eyes, usually warm for his companions, held a cold, impenetrable quality when they landed on the returnees. "I will be handling the cooking," he stated flatly, his voice devoid of warmth. "I can't trust something like that to you. Otherwise I'd worry about poison."
"I would never do something like that!" May quickly replied, aghast, her face paling.
"Says one of the people who views me as a monster and would readily call a kind-hearted girl the same," John retorted, his voice sharp, cutting through the morning air. "No, I don't trust any of you. Your departure, your words and your actions yesterday pretty much made sure of it. Honestly, I don't even know what work to give any of you. So rather just talk with Saya and the others. You should have better luck with them than me." He finished his breakfast, pushing the plate away and then, without another glance at the returnees, asked Cliff to show him where to put the forge before walking away, leaving a heavy silence in his wake.
Aria, watching his retreating back, turned to the stunned group. "You all deserve it for your remarks," she stated plainly, her tone unwavering. "I haven't known Master for long, but even I can tell he's a good person. Yet, I'm glad he's the type who makes a person work hard to regain trust when it's broken or lost." Most of the other girls including Choi and Sieg nodded in agreement, their expressions grim.
"We made a mistake," Smith conceded, running a hand through his hair, still attempting to justify their past actions. "But I mean, he didn't really explain things clearly, did he? If he told us the reasons why he did what he did, we wouldn't have left. He didn't even try to make us understand."
Choi, quiet until now, looked at Smith with a confused expression. "But was the Lord not your leader at the time?"
"What does that have to do with it?" Smith asked, genuinely puzzled.
"A lot," Choi clarified, her gaze steady. "He was your leader at the time, having taken you in and helped you. As a leader, he was not obligated to even tell you of his actions, let alone explain every reason behind every action he takes but he still did. The reality is, none of you asked why he took such actions; instead, you chose to believe the worst of him and abandoned him. The others here did not. They questioned his actions, yes, but they held their judgment until they knew the reasons for it, thus cementing his trust in them."
"Master would give Master's life for them and for any of us who stand by him," Angel added, her voice resonating with deep conviction. "This one can feel so through their bond with Master." With that, she rose decisively. "Purple one, follow this one. Our training begins now." Saya, a renewed glint in her eyes, quickly followed her.
"We really fucked up, didn't we?" Smith muttered softly but still heard by everyone there, a deep frown creasing his face as he watched them go.
"Worse than the live-action attempts at anime," Ash said with complete seriousness, her eyes fixed on the distant horizon. "But give it time and actually try to prove yourselves then maybe, just maybe, he will trust you all a little again. Probably nothing like he could have, not with that same depth but a little is better than nothing at all." The prospect was bleak, yet it was the only path forward.