Anastasia
Horror and anger momentarily left me and were replaced with confusion, awe and relief. I had completely forgotten the situation I was in and was fully focused on the divine being dwelling in me.
"Beatrice? Beatrice?! Come back! Please come back!"
Lucky for me, the chants of praise drowned out my own screams. But just as quickly as she came, she disappeared. Again, the only response I got was silence.
"Please…"
Water must have began leaking because my cheeks felt warm. It fell and flowed down my face. Suddenly I couldn't control my lips. They quivered with a mind of their own, no matter how much I tried to make them stop.
"Sophia?"
I didn't recognize the name at first, but the voice was familiar. Then I realized he was addressing me. When I turned towards the direction of the voice, Bishop Sebastian was looking at me, eyebrows knitted with concern. Then I remembered where I was. Who he was. That he betrayed me.
The Bishop flinched back and I realized my anima was leaking out.
"I-I understand your anger…"
Such gentleness in his words. It seemed so real. Now I see for what they really were.
He reached out but I swatted his hand away. I must have accidentally poured anima into my hand, because I heard a snapping sound in his hand, but I didn't care. If only he knew what I really wanted to do to him.
Without saying another word, I stood and walked towards the exit. Nobody followed.
~
I must have been a horrible since even Asuka looked concerned.
"What the hell happened?"
Ignoring her, I walked to the bathroom. I felt filthy and needed a bath. Before preparing water, I took a look at myself in the mirror and questioned how much time had really passed. With bags under eyes and the sullen expression, I wouldn't have faulted one for thinking me thirty. A shaky sigh escaped my lips and closed my eyes for just a moment.
A woman's glossy, cold eyes stared back and a horrible shiver ran up my spine.
"You… could have… saved… me…"
The voice was terribly hoarse, but unmistakably Zoe's.
Her arm shot forward and I jumped backwards, smashing into the tub. The same feeling that overwhelmed at the ceremony took hold of me again. Asuka ran into the bathroom, looking ready for a fight. But her eyes calmed when she saw no danger. And then turned to pity when she saw me.
I tried to make a face at her to show disgust. Instead, a strange inaudible sound escaped my lips. I clenched my mouth to prevent anymore but I could feel a cry tearing through my throat.
Trying to stifle it, I brought up my knees and used them to cover my face. I was not going to make a fool of myself. Especially not in front of her.
Suddenly, something touched my back. I flinched and looked up to see Asuka kneeling next to me, a small smile on her lips.
I could feel the sob coming and quickly looked back down.
"Fuck… off…"
Never had I said anything so weak in my life.
Asuka never responded, but I could hear her sitting down next to me.
I really did hate her. With every action and word she proves my father right. And my weakness confirms all the more. I had to be strong. To stand and show her that I was not weak. That I was strong in character just like she was.
I looked up at her and prepared to tell her off for even thinking I needed her comfort. But when I saw her with tears falling from her eyes, the words I had prepared evaporated. Slowly, she reached around me and pulled me into an embrace.
It was a foreign feeling to me. I had never been embraced by anyone besides my mother. But those were always in moments of happiness. This was different. Without even realizing, I leaned into it and returned the embrace. That is when I broke.