A hand shook my shoulder and a tissue was dabbing my mouth.
"Wake up, Nodoka-san. Wake up. It's a nightmare. Wake up!"
I lifted my head and then body up from the lap I had found myself sleeping in with confusion.
What? Where? Why?
I wiped the corner of my mouth and found blood. It seemed that had bitten the inside of my cheek hard. It stung and was still bleeding. I grimaced and held my sore and dizzy head, while someone blurry continued to dab at my eyes with one tissue and the corner of my mouth with the other.
Carefully, I felt my face and body over and discovered that I wasn't all bruised, bloody and swollen. I wasn't injured. It had just been a dream indeed. A bad dream. I released a sigh of relief.
A bottle of cold water was pushed into my hand and I looked at the bottle cap with a moment of confusion wondering if I would be able to open the bottle. My eyes fell on my relatively clean hands. I turned them over, open and shut them. Tested all my fingers and was both relieved and amazed to find that they were still working. I could probably open a bottle of water with hands like this.
The bottle was taken from me, opened and put back into my hands.
"Drink," a voice commanded and it took my brain some effort to recognise who the voice belonged to. Who he was. Where he had come from. How I knew him.
My blurry eyes cleared up although my headache didn't.
"Suzuki Sensei," I said almost under my breath.
Hands helped me lift the bottle to my lips. I took a few sips and felt the rest of the dream start to unravel from around me, bringing me back into the current day. There were people around me watching with concern.
Eyes. Too many eyes.
I shivered under the weight of all those eyes and struggled to completely break free from the unravelling dreamlike world to re-enter the present. A jacket was draped around my shoulders and a tissue dabbed at my face and eyes again.
I took a few more sips of the icy water, focussing on the present and what I could see. Like the drink bottle.
It was made of a rigid plastic and was clear. The cap was white with little ridges and a funny fluting at the bottom. The neck of the bottle was short. The water inside was just as clear and translucent as the plastic. The label wrapped around the bottle was collecting condensation from where the coldness of the water met the warmer atmosphere outside the bottle. The words on the label were flickering.
Flickering between various languages and Nihongo, making my head hurt. What was wrong with my auto-translate ability? This wasn't the first time this had happened and it was becoming more frequent. I had to close my eyes.
"Nodoka-san, wake up. Wake up. This is our stop."
I allowed hands to help me up and guide me, stuffing my bag into my arms and quickly leading me off the train. My legs felt weak and too tired to hold my weight. What was wrong with me?
I was sat down on a bench and allowed to lean against the man by my side. It took me a long time to remember who he was again. I heard him speaking on his phone and then pat my shoulder, while my head rested on his shoulder.
He got me drink a few more sips from the bottle of water while I tried to deal with my inner turmoil and confusion.
*"Uki-chan?"* I heard Shigure's voice break through the strange fog.
His image emerged to take my hand and lead me out of the half-asleep area of confusion. Shigure gave me a hug and spoke to me but when I could only stare at him but not respond, he sighed. Giving me a kiss on the forehead, he put me to bed on my side of the link and stroked my back until I fell asleep again.
*"Uki-chan,"* he told me, *"you're ok. You're just tired. No need to fight. You're safe. After this little nap, you have to wake up again. Your handler over there wants to bring you to the Five Colour Courtyard, but it's quite a distance. You'll need to wake up quickly. It's quite a long walk there from the train station. He doesn't know how to help you right now, so you have to help yourself."*
Shigure sat by my side until he had to leave. I felt the warmth of his presence go in my sleep and felt sad. I missed him. So, so much. I missed home so so much. I wanted to go home. Back to our little shared office. Back to how life had been when we had been partners. But life can't be lived in the past.
After that brief nap, I woke up, feeling more with it. The sun was already low. It was late afternoon.
"Suzuki Sensei," I apologised, sitting up straight, wondering why the uber patient man hadn't tried to do more to wake me up or gotten someone to come and help him. "I'm so sorry. I'm not sure what happened. I'm alright now. We still have a long way to go, right?"
Suzuki Sensei didn't answer for a moment but examined my eyes with his.
"Are you sure you are alright now?" he asked me.
"I think so," I nodded.
"In that case, let us be going," he agreed.
Standing up, I realised that we were now inside the little train station waiting area out of the sun. He must have carried me here or something. I rubbed my face in embarrassment.
"I'm so sorry for all the trouble," I bowed.
"That's alright," Suzuki Sensei nodded, picking up his bag and helping me sling mine around my shoulders. "It gave me a moment to rest too. Let's get going then. There is indeed a long way to go. It will be dark by the time we arrive."
"We are going to the Five Colour Courtyard?" I asked. "What is that place?"
Suzuki Sensei raised an eyebrow at me.
"Your husband spoke to you?"
"Uh," I hesitated, realising I had just given myself away. Come to think of it, I had been letting a lot of things slip when I was with this man. Just yesterday, I had accidentally let slip that I used to be a field agent. I had really lost touch if I was giving out information like this. I sent Shigure a silent apology.
"As far as I know, Shigure-Kubo-kun is almost on the opposite end of the country. The fact that he can still reach you and speak with you is quite the feat. I contacted him as a test. So which of you is the one that has such a long reach? It involves your telepathic abilities as well, right?"
My heart rate was increasing and my breaths becoming shorter as I realised just how dangerous being alone and interacting with this man was for me. He was definitely not just any teacher. He had to have been of a certain level to have become a teacher and trainer, but now that I looked at him again, I realised that he wasn't just a teacher. He was a specialist. A seasoned veteran and someone of great experience.
The way he carried himself. That calm patience. I had been pulled into a false sense of security with him and now I realised that I had just entered the wolf den.
*"Shigure! What do I do?"*
*"Try not to give everything away,"* was Shigure's short reply and I felt how busy he was. *"Just do your best. I won't blame you. They are just confirming a lot of information they have already gleaned from us."*
*"Sorry. I'll try not to disturb you anymore,"* I replied.
He sent me a wave of gratefulness. The distance made our communication slightly strained and laggy. It required just a little bit more energy and concentration.
"What an interesting way of communicating," Suzuki Sensei tilted his head, not quite looking at me while he led me out of the train station and through the little town. "It's like the bonds I tend to sense from couples with a strong relationship but more. I haven't felt anything else like this from anyone else except for my grandparents, and then, even their silent communication wasn't as strong or intricate as yours."
"You're - you're an ability sensor," I gulped, feeling my heart now hammering in my chest with a touch of dread.
"In a manner of speaking," Suzuki Sensei said without turning his head. "I'm more of a sympath and all round sensor who can sense a lot of things, although I can't do much more than that most of the time. I can sense what people feel and the movement of their special abilities when they use them most of the time, without actually feeling it myself like an empath would. I'm practised and sensitive enough to be able to work out a lot of things, so in a way, it's a bit like reading people's emotions and minds. Now that we are out of the range of other ability users, I can hear and feel you a lot more clearly. And it also allows us to be much more frank with each other without worrying that someone else is going to listen in."
My eyes widened and I softly covered my face with a hand. I was in so much trouble. If this pressure didn't force me to learn to control some of my mental abilities much more, I didn't know what would.
"All those things aside, I can pretty much guess what happened between you and little Fuki-chan this morning based on what I sensed from the both of you. Nevertheless, I would like your version of events, if you please."
Taking a deep breath. What would come would come. Just deal with it.
And so I told Suzuki Sensei what happened this morning and how Fuki-chan had lost control. And then how I had done my best to calm her down.
"Well done," Suzuki Sensei said.
It still struck me as a bit strange. His personality and character seemed to have changed into a much harder edged person with great authority as opposed to the soft and comforting teacher I had seen him as before. It made my image of him and reality clash, forcing me to redefine my understanding of the man.
"Well done?" I asked.
"On calming Fuki-chan down. You did well, considering your mind and emotions are still damaged. You have barely had time to heal from all the traumatic events that have happened to you one after another," Suzuki Sensei told me. "Very few people who have been through what you have would be able to be in the place you are now. You're very strong, Nodoka-san."
"Uh, thank you, I guess," I scratched my head.
I didn't want to talk to this man or even interact with him anymore. It was too dangerous. Who knew what secrets I might leak next?
"Don't be so nervous, Kim Na," Suzuki Sensei turned around to look at me with a smile while I jumped back and dropped into a defensive crouch, wishing I had a weapon. "While we have the freedom to be completely frank and transparent with each other, why don't we also drop all pretenses? I will tell you what we know of you and your husband, and you help us fill in the gaps."
"I don't know. I quite liked all the pretending," I replied, not knowing whether I was going to have to fight for my life or run away.
"I quite like the fact that you are a relatively straightforward person," Suzuki Sensei smiled, gesturing for me to continue walking. "Don't worry. Nobody is going to hurt you."
"Please forgive me if I don't believe you," I replied, still trying decide whether I should run or not.
"Please don't run away, Kim-san," Suzuki Sensei shook his head, still with that same calm smile. "One, you won't be able to outrun me. Two, this town is too small for you to hide in. Three, I'll be able to find you wherever you go. Your shielding is greatly lacking and you stand out to my senses like a sore thumb."
At that, I strengthened my shields and pulled everything of myself back in, not allowing any bits of me or my thoughts to escape. I had been too relaxed trying to seem like a normal person. There was no point in that anymore.
"Oh," Suzuki Sensei tilted his head, looking at me with surprise. "So you can shield yourself from me that well. If you weren't in front of me, I might have not noticed you. Except for the fact that I can smell you and your breathing is quite loud."
I glared at him. Was he saying that I stank?
"Four," Suzuki Sensei returned to counting points off on his fingers, "if we don't hurry, it'll be very late by the time we arrive and we might miss dinner. Don't you want to be able to sleep in a warm bed and have hot meals? Kim-san, we really mean you no harm. All I want is for us to talk and have a good conversation. Give you space and room to continue recovering where any mistakes won't cause a catastrophe because Fuki-chan might pick up on it. Please?"
Yeah. Right. He didn't sound scary or suspicious at all.
I dashed away through the not so maze like streets and out into the farm fields. Keeping my shields up to hide from him. Going up and down paddy field embankments would make tracking easy, so I leaped across corners of the fields in order to save time and try to throw Suzuki Sensei off my trail. I couldn't hear him behind me all the time, but I could feel him. He wasn't trying to hide himself from me at all.
He probably knew the terrain much better than I did and so wasn't fussed. Because when I reached the bank of a wide river with very steep banks down to the edges of the rocky and exposed riversides, he was already there. He must have taken a short cut.
My breath was already ragged at the back of my throat. I was so unfit. My ribs and all my joints were aching but I couldn't give them any attention. I had to keep pushing on. I didn't want to be imprisoned again. I didn't. I wouldn't be able to stand it if I became a proper prisoner again. I couldn't let them use me as leverage for Shigure.
With the strength of the shield I was using, Shigure wouldn't be able to get through to me for a while either. Not for a long while.
My feet, knees and sides were on fire. I could taste blood and my saliva had gone dry. My eyes ached. I had to get away. Couldn't let them catch me.
Seeing that I wasn't slowing down despite the encroaching embankment that was steep enough to be a deep cliff. Anyone that fell down might break a bone.
"Nodoka-san! No!" I heard Suzuki Sensei shout, but I had already leapt off the edge of the embankment, feeling the soil and rocks crumble beneath the foot I was leaping off.
I soared over the edge of the river, and over the river water. Just looking at it told me that there was quite a strong current and that the river was deep. I wasn't a good swimmer, so if I fell in, I was going to struggle.
Of course, with my weakness, the leap I had made hadn't had sufficient strength. I could see myself getting lower and lower. Closer and closer to the water. The other side of the river was not getting much closer.
All my shields dropped the moment I realised that I wasn't going to make it. A feeling of frustrated dread filled the pit of my stomach, reminding me of the many times I had wondered growing up whether I would die of injuries from my fall to the rocks or whether I would be drowned had I jumped off the Cliffs of the Dead.
I felt Shigure's startled shock when he felt my sudden blast of emotion and memory. From the shore, Suzuki Sensei's cries could still be heard, telling me to come back.
My heart ached, feeling the bite of betrayal that I had felt in finding the gentle, patient teacher suddenly turn into a hard and threatening agent. I was never going to trust anyone so easily again.
Cold, icy water engulfed me, making me gasp with shock. That gasp of shock filled my lungs with water and then I was choking, drowning. Automatically, I moved my arms and legs to swim in the direction the air should be, but they felt heavy and cold. The icy cold was sapping the energy from my limbs.
I managed to break through the water to the air, but I couldn't cough enough water out of my lungs to draw in the air. I sank below again, feelings the swift river current sweeping me away.
I knew that if there was no divine intervention, I was definitely going to die. And considering the government knew who I was and likely knew more about me than I wanted them to know, it might be better for me to die. Then I wouldn't be a liability for Shigure. He'd be free.
Driving what remained of my strength through my limbs, I made it to the surface one more time but still couldn't get enough air. There was too much water in my lungs. The more I tried to cough it out, the more I accidentally breathed in and it continued in a vicious cycle.
I heard Shigure's panicked cries through my link as my mind faded to black. Warm arms wrapped around my body just before I went limp.