"Boys..." Fort's words galvanized the young men into action.
They picked up their toast, grabbed their coats and shoes, and kissed their mother on the cheek on the way out.
"Love you, Mom."
"See you tonight."
Even though she couldn't find the words, Noble's heart sent them both large helpings of her love. They headed out with the warmth of their mother's affection to keep them company against the cold.
Fort was right behind them, his arms open wide. "Come here, my love."
The emotion-filled woman melted into her husband, tears streaming down her face. He led her upstairs, where they could both comfortably sit. After wrapping a blanket around her and getting her a cup of tea, Noble finally felt able to formulate words.
And once she did, they did not stop. A half-hour of tears and confession came and went as the beautiful Saint poured out her troubles uninterrupted. Fort simply held her close, bearing her burdens as if they were his own.
At last, she paused and looked at him, her face full of questions. "Well?"
"Oh, is it my turn?" Fort's response earned him a gentle nudge and a sad smile.
"Yes," Noble answered, unwilling to chide him for his sarcasm.
"I think you did very well to prevent Keth's plan from succeeding. You stopped a war without shedding a single drop of blood. How many people can say that?" The ambassador's eyes sparkled with admiration.
"I postponed it at best." Child of Promise corrected him with a sigh.
"How many people can say they postponed a war without spilling a single drop of blood? That number must be even smaller. You are an elite!" The ambassador smiled.
"Be serious." Noble shook her head.
Fort's smile waned. "Very well. You want to know what I think? I think this whole crummy situation is not your fault. I think that the Sovereigns aiming to go to war is a heinous injustice, and I think that the clans sending their children into a Solstice senselessly is just plain stupid. While you may have failed to get all the information from Gisel in her final moments, the King, Queen, and the clans failed her first."
The ambassador balled his fist.
"Without the sovereign's machinations, you wouldn't need to hide your sainthood. You could rescue anyone and everyone who wanted to avoid the trial of the Solstice. And without the stubborn traditions of the clans, the wealthy families could protect their own children from a completely unnecessary death."
Noble let his words sink in. While they didn't erase her choices, it did shed light on the impossible situation in which she had been placed. She had been forced to choose between the desire for self-preservation and the protection of her family going forward, or being of immediate assistance to someone who was in need.
'That isn't fair.'
Then again, what in life was? The Sovereigns would have to live with their choices, and so would she. The only other option was to die by them, and Noble wasn't about to let the Shadow Realm claim her now.
Still, Noble's heart ached.
'I can't go through this again.'
Gisel had asked for help. If Noble hadn't hesitated, the girl would still be alive.
'There has to be another way. I won't lose a student like that again if I can save them.'
Noble buried her head in her husband's chest.
"I hate it!"
He chuckled lightly, prompting her to pull away.
"What?"
"I just noticed you said it and not them. You are too compassionate to hate the people even if you hate their choices." Fort tucked his wife's hair behind her ear.
"I can think of one exception." Noble pictured her father's murderer. If anyone deserved her hate, it was the unapologetic Harlow.
"I will grant you that's a special case." The ambassador conceded.
"Do you want me to hate them? The Sovereigns, I mean?" Child of Promise was willing to do almost anything to make the dull ache in her soul disappear.
But Fort shook his head. "I love you the way you are. Don't give them or anyone else the satisfaction of earning your hate."
Noble had no response to that. She wiped her eyes and leaned once again into her husband's embrace.
"My heart hurts…"
"I know, Bee. I know." Fort held her close. They sat in silence.
Noble felt her husband's love for her. His emotions entwined with hers, affecting her as no one else could. Slowly but surely, his tender care healed the pain in her soul.
While the guilt did not disappear entirely, she no longer felt overwhelmed.
"Thank you."
"For what?" Fort furrowed his brow.
Noble didn't move, listening to his heartbeat as she leaned against him.
"Thank you for being you. You listened and didn't try to fix it."
Fort raised an eyebrow. "You mean like running off to conquer a fourth Nightmare as a mundane, becoming a Sovereign, and ousting the powers that be so I can usher in a period of peace and harmony as we take on the Spell under a unified flag?"
"Yes, like that."
The ambassador clicked his tongue. "Don't worry, my love. I would never do that. Not today, anyway. As for tomorrow…"
"That's not funny!" Noble nudged her husband, smiling despite herself.
"What? You don't think I would look dashing as a Supreme?" Fort stroked his chin.
Noble lifted her head. "The King of Swords has nothing on you right now. The world isn't ready for your supreme beauty."
"Well, when you put it that way—" Fort kissed his wife, and she surrendered to his touch. "I will be only yours, no need to torture other women who cannot have me, even if it is for the good of humanity. The world will have to wait for a different Supreme."
"Would you really have wanted that job?" Noble couldn't help but ask.
Fort sighed, leaning back on his arms, "I don't think so. You would be better qualified, though I think your desire is even lower than mine. I've never had supernatural power to begin with, so I have nothing to compare it to."
Noble could not only hear the man's melancholy tone, but she could feel his longing. Becoming an Awakened had not been an option for the Ambassador for most of his life, but ever since moving to the Dream Realm, it had suddenly become a possibility.
His assistant Teddy had done it on a whim, and Fort had the capability to file the paperwork for himself if he wanted.
Noble began to wonder if he had contemplated it. Surely he was coming to grips with his children seeking to walk the path of ascension. He had also supported Noble's quest to become a Saint.
Did he feel left behind?
Noble kept her mouth shut, not daring to ask the question. If he didn't, then asking might suggest she was dissatisfied with the gap between them.
Child of Promise loved her husband, and she knew that she could never do all the amazing work that he had completed in his life. Different didn't mean better or worse. They each had their calling.
But deep down, Noble was more concerned that he might give an affirmative answer to her question just now.
And that…that was not something her heart could take just now.
So the words died on her lips as she rested against Fort.
'He is perfect the way he is.'