Chapter 309: The Crazy Night of the Fujoshis (Part 1)
"What program?" Zhang Yang couldn't help becoming a little curious. With Liu Zixuan and Gao Qi around, this program would probably cause a lot of unlucky people to get shot.
"CS.GO!"
"What's so fun about that?" Zhang Yang yawned and stretched lazily. This thing was already ancient. Of course, Zhang Yang vaguely knew CS.GO was the global offensive version Valve released in 2012.
Ever since Gao Qi and Liu Zixuan moved in, it didn't take long for them to set up a small internet café on the fifth floor, all high-end computers, a full twelve of them arranged in a circle. Every time they got off work and didn't go shopping, Liu Zixuan, Gao Qi, and Tian Tian would rush up to the café to start gaming—CF, DOTA, WOW, CS, Legend World, Fight the Landlord, etc.—a completely chaotic mess.
Zhang Yang had never seen anyone play games in such a disorderly way. They were more omnivorous than omnivores.
But speaking of gaming, Liu Zixuan and Gao Qi were definitely pros. Tian Tian was half-baked. Later, for some unknown reason, Li Jennie and Xi Chen Jinglan also joined, followed by Xu Danlu and Qiao Xier, and sometimes even Ye Xiaoru came to join the fun.
Even the sisters Xu Danying and Xu Dantong would sometimes come over because they couldn't resist. It basically became their private internet café. Sometimes when the heating was on, a bunch of pretty girls would lock themselves inside, bare-shouldered, screaming without any image at all—especially Gao Qi, whose roar swept the whole battlefield.
"Damn it, I'm gonna die, hurry up, heal me..."
"You bastard, I'm about to get stabbed to death..."
"Done, done, he actually knifed me to death."
"Got killed by him again. Damn it, Yingying, where's Yingying? Black out his computer right now! Dare to kill me? I'm making sure all his gear drops!"
Later on.
The group of girls simply formed a so-called "JPMN" team, going around burning, killing, and robbing.
They did all kinds of evil. Wherever they went, players on every server trembled. If they could beat someone, they ganged up and bullied them. If they couldn't, they hacked their computers. Their infamy spread far and wide.
And weirdly, they weren't even dedicated to a single game. One day they'd suddenly want to play DOTA, and the next they'd rush into WOW.
Sometimes when their period came, they would just play CS. When they wanted peace, they would obediently play Fight the Landlord, swapping battlegrounds with every shot.
But overall, they were best at violent games with fighting and killing.
And tonight they wanted to play CS? What the hell were they doing? Zhang Yang was speechless. Who the hell spends New Year's Day playing CS all night?
Sure, in the villa they didn't need to do traditional rituals like normal people, but sleeping all day on New Year's Day still seemed wrong. Not to mention, they also planned to drink and sing karaoke.
Seeing Zhang Yang completely uninterested, Xu Danlu quickly said, "Of course it's fun. The stakes are huge tonight. We always challenge people everywhere, right? Well, we ran into trouble today. A team called the Pretty Elf Squad specifically challenged us."
"Just ignore them. Let them challenge whoever they want."
"You can't say that. They're slandering us nonstop online, calling us the 'Moldy Chrysanthemum Men' team and smearing us all over."
"Moldy Chrysanthemum Men? Aren't you called the Extreme Beauty Squad?" Zhang Yang's face darkened.
"They said JP means Chrysanthemum Country, and MN means unlucky men. That's whatever. The problem is their team is super popular with tons of fans, so now we're drowning in negative news."
"They're smearing you? Can't Yingying just give them a kill-all punishment?" Zhang Yang was speechless. With how crazy Liu Zixuan and Gao Qi behaved, challenging top players everywhere, it would be strange if no one came to cause trouble.
"Yingying did hack them, but the opponent is also a pro. They recovered quickly and even got our IP. Luckily, they didn't find evidence of us hacking them. But they have numbers—huge fanbase. You can block hundreds or thousands, but how do you deal with tens of thousands spreading things online?"
Xu Danlu continued, "They said if we want to settle this, we need to fight fair and square. No cheats. 5 vs 5. Five rounds. If we lose, we strip naked and sing 'Conquer' on video. Otherwise, they'll leak our IP and dox us."
"Pft!" Zhang Yang almost spat blood. "That ruthless? Who the hell are they? Even Yingying couldn't hack them?"
"Didn't I tell you? The Pretty Elf Squad. The forum says it's five beauties."
"Beauties?" Zhang Yang frowned at Xu Danlu. "Why do I smell a faint scent of conspiracy?"
"What conspiracy? I'm telling you now, so you figure it out."
Zhang Yang wanted to cry. "What can I do? Sure, I used to play CS, but your big bro retired from the scene many years ago... Fine, maybe you girls need to suffer losses to understand that there's always someone stronger. So—who's fighting tonight?"
"Sister Qi, Zixuan, Danying, Dantong, and Jinglan."
"Why aren't you going?" Zhang Yang stared at Xu Danlu curiously. "Didn't you grind for a while too?"
"I got done by you today. Too hard. And I just got my period. If we lose and I have to strip, that would be so embarrassing..."
"Thud!" Zhang Yang staggered. "What do you mean I was too hard? Obviously it was you and Sister Qi who drugged me... Wait no—so you girls already planned on stripping?"
"Of course. You think they're amateurs? They're a professional team. We little kittens only won before because Yingying slowed their connection and we used cheats. Now fighting with real skill means certain death."
Zhang Yang finally understood. These girls stepped on a landmine and now wanted to drag him into the mess to strip and sing 'Conquer' with them.
"This is the fun evening program you mentioned? Why do I not see the fun part?" Zhang Yang rolled his eyes, then glanced toward the stairs and sighed, "Sister Qi, stop hiding. Come out. I can see your boobs sticking out from your hiding spot."
"Uh..." Sure enough, Gao Qi slowly appeared from the stairwell. She glanced at Zhang Yang shyly, then suddenly put on a pitiful expression, staring at him with watery eyes. "Yangzi, help us this time."
She crouched in front of Zhang Yang, furrowing her willow brows and pouting. She even tugged her collar, showing her deep white cleavage. "Think about it—I'm your third mistress. If I strip, it's whatever. Just a stinky mortal body. Zixuan is an exhibitionist; she'll probably enjoy being watched. But Jinglan is a rich heiress, and she's still a pure virgin. That body is meant for you. Wouldn't it be such a waste letting others see it? Right?"
"What do you mean meant for me—am I that kind of person?" Zhang Yang's face darkened, not finishing his sentence.
Gao Qi cut him off, nodding firmly—you are exactly that kind of person.
Zhang Yang was furious. Gao Qi quickly added, "Also, also, also your two little sisters, Tongtong and Yingying—they just developed those curves. Those chests, those legs, that tiny waist. As the saying goes, don't let fertile water flow to outsiders. If they strip too..."
"Stop, stop..." Zhang Yang stared at her suspiciously. "They only invited you to a match. Don't tell me you already agreed?"
"Mm! Mm!" Gao Qi pouted and nodded pitifully. "Of course. People fight for pride; Buddhas for incense!"
Zhang Yang almost vomited blood. "How stupid can you be? You know they're a professional team, right?"
"We know!"
"Wait..." Zhang Yang stared at her, frowning as he said slowly, "Let me go over this again. First, you girls used cheats to beat them, then hacked them. They counterattacked, then challenged you again. You agreed. And the loser strips? I want to know—how exactly are you stripping?"
"Their five members are separate. So we all enter the same QQ group and video chat. Then strip."
"You knew you'd lose and still agreed to this condition?" Zhang Yang's eyes widened.
"Liu Zixuan said you'd definitely have a way!" Gao Qi bit her soft lips and glanced at Zhang Yang. "And your sister-in-law Yingying said the same. Plus, that squad has two super pretty girls..."
Saying this, she got excited again, waving her hands. "You don't know! One of them is as pure-looking as Jinglan, skin so white you could squeeze water out of it, boobs perky and firm. The other one's face almost matches Teacher Feifei's! Just think—if we win, hahaha, beauties stripping! Excited or not?"
"Excited your head." Zhang Yang finally understood. They thought he was omnipotent. Fine, even if he were, system points weren't that easy to earn.
Who knew how many system points CS mastery would cost? If it required dozens, he'd be coughing blood.
And that was assuming the system didn't say it "involved emotional issues" and refused to help.
"Listen, absolutely not. Worst case, you girls admit defeat. If they try hacking you, I'll take care of it." Zhang Yang felt that wasting system points to learn CS was ridiculous. If that Pretty Elf Squad really tried hacking, he'd just use the Shadow System to crush them.
"Waaaah... Lulu, look at your husband! Abandoning his wives! You caused this! I'm done—handle him!" Gao Qi tossed the problem away entirely, shaking her round bouncing butt as she clawed at Xu Danlu and ran off.
"Your idea?" Zhang Yang turned his gaze to Xu Danlu. Xu Danlu was never impulsive. There had to be a reason.
"Mm!" Xu Danlu nodded.