Now you're out there living freely and happily, forgetting your own child at home and forgetting you once had a family.
Zhang Zhentian just couldn't understand, why his father wouldn't give him a way to survive, he just wanted to live a few more days in this world, to spend more time with his family; but what did the repeated outcomes bring him?
Thinking back on how many years he had hoped to return to this home, and realizing the moment he truly returned, that everything was merely a mirage in his dreams, not a single thing could help him achieve his goals, every time, what he wanted was ultimately unattainable, every time, what he wanted was destroyed by his own family.
The things he wanted, obviously within reach yet unattainable, instead he faced destruction from his family again and again, how distressing and agonizing that felt, perhaps it was a path he had to walk, no one could walk it for him, he saw it clearer than anyone.
