I've lived through these years, each step forward has been difficult. Every day, I've relied on my own efforts to get to where I am now. No matter what I've experienced, I've never shed a tear of pain, because I know that crying is not what I should be doing. Crying won't bring about any result!
If, when faced with difficulties and challenges before marriage, I didn't choose to confront them but instead hid away and cried silently, would those dangers just disappear? Would I no longer endure those hardships? No, every outcome I achieved was always so difficult. No one knows the extent of my inner suffering; I always appear strong in front of others.
Because I don't want anyone to see through my true self, I don't want others to know what kind of person I am. I want to use my disguise to hide what kind of person I really am. I want to live under a mask of hypocrisy; perhaps only then will I have a different kind of life."
