You know, even I have to wonder
What even is this? A story without life or a life without a story?
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Looking up in the sky, with my hand pressed on the rail while slanting on it, I asked myself
"How far can I really see? I wonder if I could fly high up into the sky and sleep on clouds, would I be in comfort when the blue sky that looks so calm feels so...dead"
The wind roared in my cheek, interrupting my meaningless philosophical monologues, I closed my eyes and retaliated as the wind kept pushing my face. With my hands, I pushed against the railing and stood up, I then walked while cars drove by my side. Man, if only one of those could hit me, I know that wasn't probable since I'm at the side of the road, a safe place, but it was still possible.
It maybe a weird thought but sometimes I wish to be murdered, I hate the thought of suicide yet I await my own death in glee, the only thing that keeps me alive is that nothing else is stopping me from doing so, I've already closed the light of mercy so I can only wonder how hell can be worse than this, as it expects my arrival. You may ask, but what are your sins? Then I shall on confess, I have done nothing wrong, and that, is my unforgivable sin. I never learn, I never understand, and I never win; my experiences are as good as dead.
I walk to a near by convenience store, as usual since the sky is turning orange, I already headed to my isle and grabbed an instant cup noodles yet I hesitated, maybe not today, I placed it back on the shelf and took a ramen noodle packet instead. I gave the packet to the cashier as she told me "trying something new I see", I only said yeah as a response, she told me the price and I paid the amount. I left the store with one packet and a few snacks, I got to my apartment and it looked the same as it usually is, everyday. I open the packet and placed it in a bowl, I poured hot water from the thermos until it was floating or submerged, I covered the bowl and left it in the counter. I open my computer as I waited for the noodles to cook itself, I sat in my rolling chair and thought to myself "alright, what should I do today". A few silent minutes had gone by, shit I have no idea, I could watch some random videos again, or play a game, maybe even start one of the thousands of anime I have on my watchlist....
Playing a game it is then, I played a romance visual novel and opened a bag of chips of the side. the main menu showed the entire cast different from each other, each having very different shades of color in their hair and eyes, the art style is good and they have all the typical archetypes, the one with the orange hair and red eyes is so my type and to top it all off, she's a yandere type with fucking breast, holy shit, bless the creator of this game, I'm so tired of these lolita-looking psychopaths who's entire gimmick is "wE aRe SoW kYuT bUt wE Is SkEwY >:3" like shut the fuck up bitch and go back to your elementary with your juice box. This is such a tiny thing but I am so happy the yandere genre actually got respect for itself again, which that is just an absolute lie in and of itself. and maybe I'm biased, and I already retract that statement I'm absolute biased when I say that she is probably the best one out of the entire cast. I took my phone and search in google, anddddddd she only has like 5 images, and they shouldn't even be here, this like ecchi fanart at most, and 2 of em are the same thing but one is colored and the other is not, only one is like actual porn and its literally just her with her tits out, rule34 is disappointing these days. I checked the tag of the game and it has a lot, she was just the few who didn't have the fans for it, unlike the fans of a certain purple hag, almost the entire list is her with cow-printed bikini, fucking degenerates being horny for the wrong woman. I actually just threw my phone on my bed and just sat there, man, I unironically lost motivation to play the damn game and I'm just at the menu. Fuck that, its going to the play later list and rot there, I'm binging Date A Live again.
I finished season one and its was great, it had cool shit, the romance, and some funny, of course let's not forget the introduction of the best girl. I finished an entire bag of chips and another one is almost gone aswell but I feel like I'm forgetting a food... Fuck, the ramen, I got to the mini kitchen and lifted the lid I placed on the bowl, its probably done, I thought to myself as I looked at my unconventional product, I got the flavor packets and poured all of the content in it into the bowl. I ate it and it was absolutely fucking raw as hell, as expected, this is why cup noodles are better, I continued with season 2 as I forced myself to eat the ramen I made. And after finishing season 2, I feel like I have been propagandized to like her ngl, they just keep making her so important to the story and absolutely badass, and from what I heard she doesn't even win, they hit us with the first girl trope. but then again, I did just hear that from a few random people on the internet so I can just pray that they were all lying bastards. and I know people might ask, why not just read it yourself, and to that I say, who the fuck reads light novels, like maybe it's just me but I can't really imagine scenarios written in text, not much of a visualizer, so I have the same feeling for light novel as any normal person with horror or thriller books, just like how a sentence can't make a person scream like they do with movies, I don't think this fan-service harem would make me pop a boner with sexy text, and the fact I feel like that is a hot take is kind of wild to me. and people might then suggest the manga which has 6 chapters, but even so, I still feel like I would rather read Classroom of the Elites manga back to back before starting that shitty adaptation. And I am at the last season which is more interesting... I guess, I don't really have anymore praised to give other than what I have already said, she still the star of the show with a new outfit reveal, it has the romance, the cool, and the funny. I enjoyed season 2 more than this honestly, maybe I don't prefer this because of the natsumi-nerf, I don't know, not the fan service for me, maybe for Wilburd honestly hahaha, wonder how he's doing these days. now that I think about this, never really got his feedback on Date a Live, that anime elitist probably gobbled that shit up. But I was underwhelmed by the last episode, I expected him to be more bad ass but it was only like the first half, he literally gone rouge with the magic power of seven spirits and was neutralized by Kurumi's fucking period blood, It's like he didn't even put up a good fight, and like yeah maybe he was holding back but he was handled with zero difficulty, no one and not even Wilburd's math rants and pixel measurement can convince me that this is a dude that can harm, let alone destroy universes.
and now I'm done, and it seems to be 4:22 A.M. and well that's my average experience for you I guess, I wake up at around 2 PM so its fine. I check my saving and I can see that I need more income in about 3 more days so I should find a gig fast, that's how I live off anyways, I check my closet to see if I have anymore clean clothes and I step on a photo. A photo of 6 boys smiling while their arms are around each other, with a blue hair boy holding a microphone in the middle, a pure bliss memory just like it's name. if only we were as pure as those memories, blissful as those memories, and even remembered as like those memories. but maybe its for the best that we were not remembered, as we were something far less great than what we make ourselves to be, because they tried to take from us what was already lost long ago. I opened the stove as the flames rose and tried to grab the photo, I wanted to give the ending that it deserves yet I hesitate, and that hesitation grew more until it was in control to stop me, I turned it off and just looked at the photo. I realize that maybe it was just like pleasures I indulge myself in, a beautiful warm lie that just kind of feels real.
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I then slept as if nothing happened, since nothing happened