"At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if they unironically called capturing a stray cat a mission."
There was a unanimous nod of agreement to Ash's comment as the three children of the Kazekage walked down one of the dusty streets of the Hidden Sand, each of them carrying something their current D-rank missions required. In most cases, a team of new Genin would get D-rank missions to participate in as a group, but Baki's recently graduated Genin did not operate this way. D-ranks were almost always missions from within the village itself, so there was no revenue to be earned: instead, most D-ranks in the Sand involved making repairs around the destitute village as cheaply as possible, which was why new ninja did it instead of hired laborers.
Since the village was almost always in a constant state of disrepair, there was always a whole slew of D-rank missions to undertake, so when a team like Baki's, which was comprised of already competent Genin, went to the Kazekage for missions, they each received their own to perform. After all, it didn't take three capable Genin to patch a hole in the roof of a building.
That being the case, the three of them were burdened with items relating to the day's respective tasks. Kankuro had a pile of broken puppet parts in his arms that needed to be recycled for some other use in the village. Temari had a large bag of fertilizer that was to be used for the indoor gardens the Sand used to grow some of its own food. Ash, on the other hand, had a squirming baby vulture in his hands, which had apparently escaped from the intel division. He was being very careful to avoid its already dangerous talons.
"Catching stray birds isn't exactly what I wanted to do during my first three months as a Genin."
Kankuro cast a mild glare at his younger brother. "At least your mission let you jump around the rooftops and stuff to catch that thing. Mine was literally just sifting through broken puppets for spare parts."
"But don't you like taking apart puppets?"
"Well, yeah, but... look, that's not the point! Your D-rank was at least a little more fun than mine."
Temari shifted the weight of the burden in her arms. "And besides, your mission is basically already over. All you have to do is get that bird back to the intel division, and you'll be done. Kankuro and I still have to deliver this stuff and help out with it when we do. You're lucky."
Ash's catch flapped its tiny wings, but didn't get anywhere with its attempts to escape. "Am I really? It's barely past noon. Baki will expect me to go back to the old man for another mission, since I've got the time."
Temari sighed; her brother's annoyance with the ninja life had grown quite prominent during the three months they had all been official Genin. At first, he'd tried his best to be optimistic, but the dozens upon dozens of menial tasks he had been forced to shoulder since becoming a ninja had swiftly made him irritable and bitter about all of it.
"Ash, you know these D-ranks are important, even if they're boring. A lot of little things need to be done around the village to keep it running, and we just don't have the money to hire contract workers. Someone has to do these small jobs, and it can't be the Chunin and Jonin. They have a lot more important things to do."
The younger blond didn't look convinced, but then again, he spent a lot of his time scowling, so it was hard to tell when his emotions actually changed. "All ninja have more important things to do than this. Genin like us could be running C-rank missions that are worth actual money. Why doesn't the village have a civilian volunteer force or something? They're better suited to running errands than us."
"While that's not a bad idea, more Genin doesn't mean more missions. Just because the entire Academy class graduated doesn't mean the village is suddenly getting more jobs. For all we know, there might not be any C-rank missions to run, or if there are, they're probably all taken by Chunin or something."
Kankuro stealthily pocketed a piece of puppetry that he thought might be useful for his own creations later on. "Yeah, since the Hidden Leaf keeps getting all of the real high-profile jobs in the West, our Jonin probably don't have anything above B-ranks to run. So they get those, and the Chunin take the C-ranks, and us Genin get the crappy stuff at the bottom of the barrel."
Ash scowled up at the sun. He knew it was bad for himself and everyone else to be pissed and angry all the time, but he really couldn't help it. He had at least envisioned being a ninja as following orders that could be exciting. As things were now, he may as well have been a slave for manual labor. "I definitely didn't become a ninja for stuff like this. Any normal person could do these little odd jobs. Why be a ninja at all if this is what they're gonna have us do?"
Knowing there was no way to quell her youngest brother's grumbling, and not entirely disagreeing with it besides, Temari dropped the conversation, turning instead to Kankuro. "Hey, I heard that Lady Chiyo is going to call it quits soon. She was the one teaching you puppetry, wasn't she? How's that going to work out?"
"I think her grandson is going to take the reins. He's already head of the puppeteer unit, and some say he's even better than Lady Chiyo was. Maybe he'll teach me?"
Ash cut in from the side, only mildly familiar with the renowned Sasori of the Red Sand. "Don't count on it. He doesn't strike me as the kind of guy with a lot of time on his hands, and if he's anything like you, he's anti-social."
"Well, Lady Chiyo didn't have a lot of time to spare either. C'mon, Ash, you know how it works: masters of certain arts are always busy, but they usually like taking on students who are really passionate about their knowledge. Maybe her grandson is looking for an apprentice to pass his knowledge to?"
"Isn't he a little young to be looking for someone to pass his knowledge to? If he weren't, he'd be retiring, too."
Kankuro frowned at Ash, the purple makeup on his face accentuating the expression. "Do you have to bring the bad out in every situation? I mean, would it kill you to be positive for once?"
Temari nodded in agreement, always siding with anyone who tried to argue against Ash's relatively fresh pessimism. "He's right, Ash. It's no fun being around someone negative all the time. You need to perk up and look for the good in things."
Ash scowled at her as the vulture in his hands crapped on the ground in front of him, the stressful nature of its plight clearly too much to handle. "If you can find the good in this situation, I'll never complain about anything again."
"Well... alright, you can complain in this instance. Just keep that advice in mind for later! Girls don't like guys who complain all the time!"
The three siblings came to an intersection, where each of them would separate to go to complete their assigned tasks. Ash made sure to get the last shot in before they separated. "I thought you wanted the girls to stay away from me?"
"That's not the point, don't take away the wrong things from my lessons!"
"Your lessons? Have you become that crotchety already?"
"Just shut up and take that bird back to the intel division before it craps on your shoes or something."
Glad to have gotten one over on his sister, Ash chalked this little conversation up to a victory as he strode away from his siblings, holding his captured bird a good distance from his feet. Unfortunately for Temari, he had no intent to take her words to heart: until something around here actually changed for the better, he couldn't see how or why his mood was supposed to improve.
---
Six months after becoming a Genin, Ash felt like the weight of his headband had increased tenfold. So far, being a ninja was not at all what he'd hoped it would be, likely because he'd performed one hundred and forty-seven D-ranks in his career so far. And that didn't even include all the little side-tasks Baki had him do that were basically just unofficial D-ranks.
More than ten dozen worthless, menial jobs that any half-competent oaf could perform. This was exactly why Ash had not wanted to be a ninja, and exactly why he was in a very bad mood today, as he sat on the roof of his family's residence. Under normal circumstances, it would be very hot up there, but since it was before noon, the heat was mild and bearable: plus, they'd erected a tarp to provide some shade. Still, the provided comfort didn't prevent Ash from glaring at everything.
He was alone up there, since his siblings were spending the day as any aspiring ninja should have been. Apparently, Chiyo's grandson, Sasori, had decided to teach Kankuro a thing or two about puppetry in his spare time. In the short time Kankuro had been learning under the man, his own skills had increased tremendously, and the redheaded puppet master was basically a hero in his eyes. Why Sasori had decided to train a specific individual was a mystery, though it was also possible that the Kazekage had simply ordered it of him. Either way, no one could say for sure.
Temari was out practicing her wind style on her own, since there wasn't really a master wind user in the village to teach her, or if there was, they didn't have time. Ash was not training at all, because despite his usual desire to improve his fighting skills, the six months of manual labor had crushed his passion into a little sphere of pessimism and bitterness. Truth be told, he hadn't actually done a lot of self-improvement since becoming a Genin. He just hardly felt motivated to do such a thing when his role in the village amounted to that of a construction worker.
"Ash! What the hell are you doing up here!?"
Not at all surprised that Baki had gone out of his way to interrupt his solitude, Ash leveled a displeased gaze at the man who was his teacher, rapidly coming up with a fitting excuse.
"Training my ability to pick out specific sounds and identify their source among the loud atmosphere of the village. A very useful skill, wouldn't you say?"
Baki folded his arms, his displeased glare not diminishing. "Do you honestly expect me to buy that?"
"Can you say with one hundred percent certainty that I wasn't doing that?"
Amazed that Ash's intellect had grown so clever at such a young age, Baki shook his head in defeat. He honestly didn't think he ever really won these exchanges. "I suppose I can't, even though I'm fairly certain you're just lazing around. That said, I have good news that might lift your spirits for once."
"That's suspicious. Are you sure this isn't the kind of good news that will only lift your spirits?"
"That depends. How would you classify a C-rank mission?"
Ash cocked an eyebrow at him, unwilling to immediately accept such a thing lest it be a cruel joke or a letdown altogether. "Do we at least get to leave the village?"
"We'll be going out of the Land of Wind altogether. Good enough for you?"
"So we'll get to leave the desert, right?"
"Round trip, this mission will likely take us a little under a week and a half. A fair amount of that time will be spent outside of our own country, and by extension, the desert."
Ash was on his feet in a flash, excited to leave the sandy terrain he despised so much, even for such a short time. He'd instantly pulled a complete turnaround from his usual attitude. "Yes, finally! When are we leaving!?"
"Today, if you prepare fast enough. Go find Temari and let her know. I'll find Kankuro, and if you're all ready by noon, we can leave then."
For the first time in a long time, Ash obeyed Baki without a single word of dissent. The Jonin couldn't deny that it was a little disconcerting that the young boy was so eager to get away from his home, but at least he was excited about something for once.
---
Ash hunted down his sister in no time at all, whisking her back to the house to prepare for their first C-rank mission. She was not originally happy to be interrupted while training, but Temari always found Ash's excitement infectious, since his enthusiasm had been curbed so severely by his Genin career. She was glad that her brother was eager to go on a mission, and she herself wasn't disliking the idea of leaving the Hidden Sand for a bit either.
So she was fine with putting her training aside and joining Ash in his excitement for something other than a dull D-rank. The two of them had packed all the things their team would need by the time Baki showed up with an irritable Kankuro at his side.
"Man, why'd there have to be a mission now!? Sasori was about to show me something totally awesome! I really wanted to see the Iron Maiden!"
Ash tossed Kankuro's already-packed bag at his face. "Sasori's got no social life, it's not like he's going anywhere. We, on the other hand, finally get to leave this place for once. Show some enthusiasm!"
"Oh, that's rich coming from you."
"Hey, I don't recall you or Sis ever getting excited for your D-rank sideshows. And on that note..."
Ash turned his attention to Baki now that they were all gathered. "You haven't given us any details on what this mission involves. Fill us in before I get my hopes up."
Baki nodded as he folded his arms, confirming Ash's suspicion of a low-key mission. "We're making an exchange of information with the Hidden Stone Village. We're going to meet a team of theirs in the neutral Land of Claws. We'll make the exchange and then head back here. There should be no fighting whatsoever."
Kankuro cocked an eyebrow at the man. "Land of Claws? Is that even a real place?"
The young puppetry practitioner immediately regretted his words as his sister verbally pounced on him. "You idiot, the Land of Claws is one of the three buffer countries between us and the Land of Earth! It's literally right next to the Land of Rain. And let me guess, you don't know anything about the Land of Fangs either, do you?"
"Seriously, you're sure you're not making these up?"
Ash sighed, stepping up and explaining the problem away for his brother before Temari's disdain transformed into something physical. "Look, Kankuro, you know where the Land of Rain is, right? To its left is the Land of Claws, and to the left of that is the Land of Fangs. They're both neutral and have no hidden villages, but they serve as buffers between the Land of Wind and the Land of Earth, just like the Land of Rivers between us and the Land of Fire."
Everyone was surprised that Ash had known anything about this at all, considering his lack of motivation to learn things unrelated to combat, but for Temari and Baki, it was a pleasant surprise. Only Kankuro was miffed to know that Ash was more knowledgeable than him. Fortunately, he couldn't get a word in edgewise as Temari praised her littlest brother.
"Someone's been studying harder than he lets on..."
Ash frowned, not finding anything praiseworthy in knowledge he thought was common. "That was basic stuff, Sis. Everyone should know it."
Kankuro glared at the boy, who immediately donned an apologetic smile at his mistake. The idea had been to take the heat off of his older brother, but he had inadvertently made it worse, if Temari's glare in the puppeteer's direction was any indication.
"Oh, you're right about that, Ash. Everyone should know this stuff. Right, Kankuro?"
"Your thinly veiled jabs really aren't necessary, Temari. I get it, I'll brush up on my map skills sometime."
Seeing that the little exchange was over, Baki coughed to get everyone's attention back on him. "Now look, even though we are making a somewhat diplomatic exchange on this mission, remember that we are not exactly friends with the Hidden Stone. They have a record of producing quite brazen shinobi, and chances are that the team they send will be older and more experienced than all of you. I don't think there will be any conflict with them, but try not to start anything regardless. Especially you two."
Baki ended his words with a glare at Ash and Kankuro, both of whom donned innocent smiles, though they looked more like smirks to Baki. "I'm serious, you brats..."
Temari grabbed her two brothers by their collars. "Don't worry, Sensei: if a fight breaks out between us, I guarantee it won't be because of these dolts. Right, guys?"
The two boys gave mock salutes as they answered simultaneously.
"Yes, ma'am!"
---
Never before had time flown for Ash the way it did as he traveled to the border of the Land of Claws. It was true that he would spend the majority of his time in The Land of Wind's accursed desert, but he was too hyped to get away from it for even a day to care. The mere idea of being in an environment that didn't consist of miles of sand was enough to put Ash in a good mood, which had been a rarity lately.
That was why the past two days of travel had not mitigated his excitement at all. Never mind the fact that he and his team still had a day's worth of travel to make before they got to the Land of Claws: no amount of sand in his shoes would get Ash down now. He was so excited that when Baki suggested that they take a break in the shadow of a nearby dune, he was the only one who didn't want to do it.
"C'mon, we don't have time to waste sitting around here. We're almost to the Land of Claws, we might as well keep going. We could get there today!"
Kankuro knelt in the sand before pulling out his canteen and gulping down some water. "Calm down, Ash, we're only going to rest for a few minutes. The Land of Claws isn't going anywhere."
"Neither am I at the moment, which is the real problem."
Temari did some stretches in the shade of the dune as she questioned her brother. "Kankuro's right, Ash. We're only taking a break for a few minutes. What's so great about the Land of Claws that you want to get there so badly anyway?"
Seeing that there was no way to convince his siblings to give up their break, Ash slumped into the hill of sand beside him. "It's not that the Land of Claws is so great, it's just that any place that isn't here is amazing. I would go anywhere at all if it meant getting out of the Land of Wind."
Temari frowned at the boy, none too pleased to hear his response. The Land of Wind was her home, and as far as she was concerned, it was Ash's home too. The fact that he detested it so blatantly greatly stung.
Baki on the other hand, was disconcerted for another reason entirely. The starting point for any rogue shinobi was to become disillusioned with their home or their position in life. Ash was already questioning both of those, and that worried the Jonin to no small extent. Ash had the potential to be a very skilled shinobi, but he also had the potential to be a very dangerous rogue ninja. Quite literally, it was up to him and Ash's adopted siblings to keep him on the right path.
With that in mind, Baki decided it was to his advantage to get his team moving again, ordering them forward once more. The less time Ash had to dwell on his distaste with the Land of Wind, the better.
---
The Land of Claws was not the most beautiful of places. It was rather dull, compared to places like the Hidden Cloud or Waterfall. But the moment Ash set foot over its borders, he might as well have been in heaven.
"Holy crap, is that grass!? Yes, it is! Grass, and trees, and most importantly, there's no sand! This is what paradise must look like!"
While their own joy was a bit subdued, Kankuro and Temari shared Ash's feelings. The two of them had never been outside the Land of Wind before either, and although they didn't share the same distaste for their home that Ash did, neither Genin could say that the change of scenery wasn't nice. The temperature had been growing slowly more tolerable as they neared the border of the Land of Claws, but now that they were officially there, it was nice to know that they were in a country that had an average temperature below eighty degrees.
And admittedly, the Kazekage's children had never seen an environment like this. Which was kind of sad to say: it was just a light forest, with dozens of trees and significant underbrush flanking both sides of an ordinary dirt road, but they had lived their whole lives in the desert, so they had literally never been to such a place. Technically, Ash had been in such an environment before, but it was so long ago that he didn't remember it at all. So to the kids, something as ordinary as a forest was actually an exciting new place.
Only Baki was unimpressed, but he was an experienced Jonin who had left the Land of Wind many times. "Don't get distracted. We still have to reach our meeting point with the Stone ninja on time. There's no time to waste dawdling! Enjoy the scenery as we move."
Ash wanted to spend a little longer just absorbing the unfamiliar environment, but he figured that he would have plenty of time for that along the way to the destination, so he joined his team in the treetops without dissent. Jumping between the branches wasn't much different from navigating rooftops. "So how long is it supposed to take us to get to the meeting point, Cyclops?"
"About a day and a half."
"So, three days to get to the Land of Claws, a day and a half to get to the meeting point, and a day and a half back to the border, and three days back to the Sand... nine days total, but only three of them are in the Land of Claws... that sucks."
Temari glared at him from his left, somewhat irritated that Ash once again blatantly disregarded his own home. "Ash, you should take what you can get. Three days is better than two, right?"
"Well, I was hoping for more, but I guess you're right. Besides, if we get more C-ranks in the future, we'll probably get to leave the Land of Wind more often. There's really no point in complaining now."
Not missing that his perspective hadn't shifted in the slightest, Temari nevertheless considered his momentary optimism as a minor victory. "Optimism is the first step to real happiness, Ash. You should think that way more often."
"I'll take your word for it, Sis."
Temari couldn't tell if she was really getting through to her brother, because he honestly didn't seem to give her words much thought at all. Truth was, Temari had been expecting his attitude to grow a little worse after becoming a Genin, but he had spiraled further than she'd assumed he would. She wouldn't have cared quite so much if his pessimism extended only to his career; she could deal with that, even if it grew tiresome from time to time.
But the negativity had been much more pervasive. Ash's demeanor had shifted for the worse in nearly all aspects of his life over the past few months. He didn't laugh or smile as much. He didn't pull nearly as many stupid stunts with Kankuro. He didn't even get excited about learning new fighting techniques anymore.
Needless to say, Temari was not happy with the change. While Ash had never been the happy-go-lucky type of kid, he had at least known how to relax and enjoy life at some point not far in the past. His big sister missed his happier, more carefree self, who cared most about having fun with his siblings and just enjoying the small things. And even though she wasn't sure how she would go about it yet, Temari was absolutely determined to bring that person back to the surface, for both her sake and everyone he would ever meet in life.
---
The day and a half of travel through the Land of Claws went by quickly for Baki's Genin team. They were on a tight schedule, so there was little time to enjoy the scenery that was so wonderfully different from the Hidden Sand. Ash personally hoped that Baki would allow them to take it easy after the mission itself was complete. Sure, they couldn't delay their return to the Sand for too long, but surely a day or two more would not harm the village's D-rank completion rate.
But for now, he understood the need to reach the meeting point on time. They were a bunch of kids and would probably be confronting Stone ninja who were much older than them. That would already leave an undesirable impression, so there was no need to make matters worse by showing up late. Though now that he thought about it, Ash found it funny that his team had been sent on this mission at all. So, since there were about ten minutes of travel left before they reached the crossroads that was their destination, Ash decided to question his sensei on the matter.
"Hey, Cyclops? I'm not complaining here, but why exactly are we going on this mission?"
The other three members of his troop cast curious looks at him, not expecting Ash to voice anything that sounded even remotely dissatisfied with leaving the Land of Wind for a while. Still, Baki was the one he had posed his question to, so it was Baki who answered. "Oh? Are you three not capable of delivering and receiving a sealed scroll or two?"
"Of course we are. But isn't the idea of meeting with any potentially hostile force to intimidate them? We may be making a few friendly ties with the Hidden Stone, but if they think we're weak because the village sent a bunch of kids to meet them, that could be pretty dangerous. Why didn't the old man send some Chunin for this, to keep up appearances if nothing else?"
Baki was genuinely impressed that Ash knew anything at all about the political nuances of a mission like this. He was even more impressed that the boy cared, considering his lack of investment in the village as a whole. "It's a bit of a gamble on Lord Kazekage's part, really. On one hand, he's making a political jab at the Tsuchikage by sending Genin to perform a diplomatic mission, which is definitely insulting in its own way. The two of them have never been particularly close, so any time we do have an exchange like this, there's almost always partisan jabs at each side."
"How appropriately childish... isn't the old man worried that the Tsuchikage will get mad and do something reckless in retaliation? We couldn't afford a war caused by some petty insults."
"That's true, but the Stone isn't in the best economic state either. They've got more ninja than we do, but the Tsuchikage is more worried about increasing the stability of his own village than he is about attacking another just because its kage made an affront to his pride."
Feeling a little out of the loop and none too pleased about it, Temari chimed in on the conversation as well. "What about the intimidation Ash was talking about? Won't they think we're lacking in manpower if kids as young as us are sent to meet with them?"
Baki mentally noted that his team was near their destination, but kept talking regardless. "Lord Kazekage hopes it will have the opposite effect. You three have not been Genin for long, but nevertheless, you are some of the strongest ones in the village. You also have the highest potential to be far stronger. Lord Kazekage hopes that by showing off how strong even our low-ranking ninja are, he can maintain an image of strength when dealing with the Hidden Stone."
Kankuro cocked an eyebrow at the man. "Yeah, but if we're the only strong ones, doesn't that mean the Kazekage is just bluffing?"
"The enemy can only presume what they see, and if they only see you, they will have no reason to think the rest of our Genin are inferior: even if they are."
"Well, yeah, but-"
Whatever counter Kankuro planned on making, it was never heard, as a large explosion in the forest ahead drowned out his words. The blast was too far off to pose a threat to the Sand shinobi, but it still created a sizable plume of smoke that they could see from their current location. The explosion itself aside, they were close enough to hear the complaints of someone near it.
"Deidara, you idiot! Just because we got here early doesn't mean you should go and blow up half the forest!"
"Quit exaggerating, Kurotsuchi, it was hardly half! I'd need to use a bomb four times that size to do that!"
Ash cocked an eyebrow in the direction of the yelling. "I'm gonna take a guess here and say that was the Stone ninja we're supposed to be meeting. They sound fun."
Baki didn't quite agree with that sentiment, but had one of his own instead. "They don't sound as old as I thought they would either. Maybe the Tsuchikage thought to make the same move as our own?"
"Is politics between ninja villages entirely summed up by tricks and insults? No wonder none of us get along."
"Quit spouting nonsense and approach with caution. I don't want to startle whoever sets off explosions for fun over there."
With a collective nod from his team, Baki led the way to the site of the unexpected explosion, purposefully making noise to alert the ninja ahead to their presence. He had no idea how antsy this Stone ninja with the bombs was, but if he was anything like members of the Stone's Explosion Corps were rumored to be, then Baki didn't want to surprise him. Approaching him silently might get a bomb sent their way when they showed themselves, and Baki wasn't quite ready to get his Genin killed by a wayward blast.
Still, the Stone ninja were arguing with each other so loudly that it was likely they didn't hear Baki's team approach in the first place.
The fighting was so intense that when Baki and his team landed in the forest clearing the Stone team was currently occupying, neither the short black-haired nor the long blond-haired ninja noticed them at all. Only the big guy with the huge nose realized they were no longer alone.
"You guys, the Sand ninja are here. Stop fighting already, you're making us look bad."
The blonde Stone ninja clearly wasn't in the mood to stop fighting. "Piss off, Akatsuchi, I'm not stopping 'till Kurotsuchi admits how sublime that blast was!"
Confusion etched on her face, Temari leaned over and whispered to her brothers. "Why do I feel like these guys are problem children already?"
Both boys shrugged, content to watch the scene play out before them, which involved the dark-haired Stone ninja punching her comrade in the face. "You pissoff, Deidara! Do you want Akatsuchi to tell Gramps we made a bad impression on the Hidden Sand!?"
The boy named Deidara rubbed his face, half-obscured by his long hair, getting a little blood from his nose on the one red sleeve his uniform had. "What are we, five? Is Akatsuchi gonna go tattle to old man Tsuchikage, hm?"
He then turned to face the new arrivals. "I mean, geez, lighten up, Kurotsuchi: they're just a bunch of kids, yeah."
Kankuro leaned towards Ash to whisper something to him, but said it a little more loudly than he intended. "Which one of these two is the girl and the guy? I can't tell who's who."
The rotund Stone ninja barely managed to hold back a chuckle as he and his comrades overheard the remark. The other two looked quite irate over the gender confusion, but fortunately for Kankuro, Ash knew how to diffuse situations like this with relative ease. Since it was obvious that they had already been heard, he made no effort to whisper. "The blond one's voice is too deep to be a girl, and the black-haired one is too cute in the face to be a guy. Geez, Kankuro, if you get things confused that easily, your romantic future is pretty bleak."
"Hey, I was just joking, I could tell!"
Both Ash and Temari leveled a disbelieving glance at him, neither opting to point it out with words.
With Kankuro's momentary lapse in judgment overshadowed by Ash's subtle rescue, the dark-haired girl named Kurotsuchi smiled widely. "Well, at least someone around here knows how to talk about girls. Take notes, Deidara."
Her accosted teammate smirked back at her. "You should be mad that he had to refer to your face to tell you were a girl."
"W-what?! You bastard, you wanna die?!"
Baki sighed, feeling the full brunt of being the oldest individual here. These Stone ninja looked to be around fourteen or fifteen, but their maturity level was not much different from his own team. In fact, he'd almost say it was even lower. "Look, I deal with enough squabbling from my own team. Do you have the intel our villages agreed upon or not?"
The large guy, who appeared to have some semblance of professionalism, withdrew a sealed red scroll from a pouch on his back. "We have it, but the Tsuchikage has some new terms to discuss, so I can't hand it over right away."
Baki's face contorted into a scowl, not at all pleased with the news. "Did your kage not think to discuss these terms with Lord Kazekage before sending you? I am in no position to agree to new conditions on behalf of my village."
"These terms aren't about anything absolutely pivotal. Still, it'd be better to discuss them alone."
Suspicious, Baki glanced back at his Genin team. "Stay here and stay ready. Don't let your guard down."
Akatsuchi turned to his own comrades. "You guys stay here too, okay?"
The blond Stone ninja crossed his arms, clearly in a rebellious mood, or perhaps just possessing an outright rebellious personality. "Who the hell made you the leader, hm?"
Kurotsuchi glared at him, placing her hands on her hips. "Gramps did, dumbass. Duh."
"Urk... fine, whatever. I don't care. We can wait here with the sand squirts, yeah."
Content that their respective teammates would behave themselves, Baki and Akatsuchi moved a ways off to discuss what they needed to, leaving Ash and his siblings to awkwardly eye the two older Stone ninja across from them. Temari had to admit that the blond kinda looked like an older version of Ash, what with the long bangs covering one eye and all. That being said, she wasn't very happy with the comparison.
"Ash, theoretically speaking, how long would you grow your hair out before cutting it?"
"Not much longer than it is right now, I guess. Why?"
From across the small clearing, Deidara shook a fist at her, apparently not dense enough to miss the implication. "Yeah, you got a problem with my hair, hm!?"
"So what if I do? I just want people to be able to tell my brother's a man at first glance when he's older."
Not one to aid Deidara when he was getting ribbed, Kurotsuchi couldn't help but laugh. "Wow, getting owned even by a girl that young? Don't you have anything to say for yourself, Deidara?"
"Hey, you're the one who said you liked my hair like this, aren't you?!"
"W-what are you talking about? I never said anything like that!"
"Yes, you did! Seriously, just last week—"
The two red-clad ninja quickly descended into another squabble, much to Ash's own amusement, though Temari and Kankuro looked more dismayed than anything else. "You know, Sis, these Stone ninja kinda remind me of you and Kankuro when you guys fight."
Temari scowled at the comparison. She wasn't like this Kurotsuchi girl, right? "Oh please, we're nothing like that—"
"And maybe if you'd spend more time paying attention to the people around you and less time on your precious art, you'd realize that there are some things more important than perfecting your hobby!"
Temari's scowl deepened as she heard Kurotsuchi speak words that sounded awfully similar to the kind she said when she was yelling at Kankuro about being too anti-social and working on puppets all the time. Far too similar...
Ash noticed that Deidara had dropped his little speech quips as his own voice gained intensity. What had started out as a squabble was escalating rather quickly. "Who the hell are you to tell me what my priorities should be? It's not like you would understand how important art is to an artist, right?!"
With his siblings merely looking on with confusion, Ash realized that the solution to this problem was only obvious to him. It was actually very similar to a scene from Make-Out Paradise, which he'd read cover to cover three times already. He didn't know for sure if a work of fiction had really imparted some wisdom to him, and it wasn't really his job to intervene in other people's problems, especially foreign ninja, but Ash kind of liked these Stone shinobi from a superficial first impression, so he'd make an exception this time. Besides, he had no idea how long Baki was going to be, and he didn't want to spend the entire time they were standing here listening to these two argue. That would just be irritating.
"Hey, if you two would stop yelling for a second, I have something to say to you."
Kurotsuchi and Deidara turned to face him simultaneously, both irritated to be interrupted mid-rant. "What?!"
Temari leaned towards her brother to whisper in his ear. "Ash, what are you doing?"
"Don't worry, I know what I'm doing." He turned his focus back to the foreigners. "So, you two Stone ninja: you guys willing to hear a little life advice?"
Naturally, the idea of receiving wisdom from a prepubescent child didn't sit well with the prideful Deidara. "What?! Hell no, you're just a kid!"
Ash cocked an unimpressed eyebrow at his blond counterpart. "Yeah, but you're just a teenager."
With nothing to really refute that, Deidara fell silent, racking his brain for some sort of comeback as Kurotsuchi carried the conversation forward. "I don't know what you could possibly have to say considering you met us a whole five minutes ago, but what the heck, give it a shot."
"Five minutes was more than enough to read your relationship like a book."
Kurotsuchi folded her arms, a little irked that the life advice Ash wanted to give was apparently relationship advice. "What's with blond boys and being cocky, anyway? You really think you can know anything about us just because you saw us squabbling for a few minutes?"
"Well, I'm not saying I can read your minds or anything, or that I know everything. But feel free to correct me if I'm wrong about this: you're mad that your friend here spends so much time on his hobby-"
"It's not a hobby, it's art, yeah!"
"OK, more time on his 'art' than you. I mean, if that's not it, you shouldn't really care how much time he puts into it, right?"
Kurotsuchi wanted to say something to deny it, but she had to admit that this stranger wasn't off the mark. "W-well... sure, I guess..."
Ash turned his attention to his fellow, older blond. "What do you do with the art you make? Is it on public display or something?"
"Of course not! There's no point in showing it to the masses that won't even appreciate its beauty, hm! And besides, why would I care what a bunch of uncultured people who know nothing about art think about my creations? There's no point at all in showing it to them!"
Ash nodded sagely, an action distinctly odd for someone so young. Maybe it was just that he was unraveling the problem in his head. Of course, if he were wrong, he would look like an idiot. But hey, he'd probably never see these guys again, and anything was better than listening to them screeching until Baki got back.
"I see. Does he ever show his art to you, Kurotsuchi?"
Immediately catching onto what Ash was saying, Kurotsuchi began to blush. "W-well... anytime he makes something new, he always shows me first before anyone else... if he shows anyone else at all..."
"So an artist shares something important to him with you. Something that he actively feels like is too good to bother showing to most people. Arrogance aside, you sound pretty important to this artist."
The two Stone ninja fell silent as they stared at Ash for a brief moment before turning to stare at each other instead. Honestly, everyone in the area was surprised that this situation had occurred at all: who expected to get relationship counseling from a stranger while on a mission, and a kid no less? Either way, Kurotsuchi seemed more focused on her blond teammate than anything else.
"D-Deidara... is that really the reason...?"
Said blonde now seemed a bit sheepish himself. "Well, yeah, I mean, that's what I meant to say, hm. Geez, Kurotsuchi, you're so dense."
"Me?! You're the one who couldn't tell that a girl was into you!"
"Well, that girl was the one who couldn't realize I was into her!"
Ash shook his head as the two started arguing again, though the tone was a lot different this time. Mission failed successfully, he supposed. "Personally, I think they were both kind of dense."
Temari looked at her youngest brother in disbelief, wondering where he had attained such a good grasp on relationships and romance at his extremely young age. More importantly, she was confused as to why the relationship of two strangers had even mattered enough to him to intervene on their behalf. Either way, she was pleasantly surprised by both his understanding and investment in the matter. It was a bit odd, but it was nice to see him actually care about something.
Kankuro, on the other hand, was pleased by the revelation for an entirely different reason. "So, Ash, you're going to be my future wingman for dates, right?"
"Sorry, Kankuro, but I'd only be able to set you up with a girl who already liked you. After all, if we were just meeting someone and the two of us were together, any girl would fall for me first, obviously."
"What?! What is it with you and Temari always putting me down?!"
"You just make it too easy, is all."
Having returned to their previous state of arguing and observing said argument, the ninja in the clearing did not wait very long for the return of their comrades. Baki and Akatsuchi made it back to their teammates with little delay, having apparently concluded their business. Baki's arrival brought Temari's focus back on the mission—more so than her brothers, at any rate. "So, Sensei, what happened? What kind of deal did they try to make?"
While normally it would be none of their business, Baki decided it would be best to involve his students as much as possible. It was a learning experience, after all. "This exchange of data was made to foster some semblance of friendliness between the Sand and Stone. However, the Tsuchikage decided that some of the information he had promised about his Explosion Corps was too sensitive to share so early. Because this information was withheld, the Tsuchikage agreed to let us withdraw some of our own as well. We won't learn anything about the Explosion Corps, and they won't learn anything about our puppeteer unit. That's all."
Ash cocked a curious eyebrow at the man. "Wasn't it a little early to exchange military information like that anyway? Our puppet techniques are one of the village's most closely guarded secrets. Why try and share it so readily?"
"That's just how bad the situation in the Hidden Sand is right now. Of the five great shinobi villages, we are currently the most vulnerable. We need to make strong allies quickly, even if it means taking some risks."
Kankuro eyed the Stone ninja who were discussing the exchange that had taken place with their own comrade. "So was this all? Is this mission over?"
Baki smirked as he pocketed the scroll he had received from Akatsuchi. "Of course it isn't over. We still have to get this scroll safely back to our village, don't we?"
Ash turned to his brother, his expression deadpan. "So yes, it's basically over."
"Yep."
Baki felt that every day he trained his students, he lost slightly more faith in them. What kind of ninja was he training? "Don't get lenient, you fools! Just because the risk of interception is low doesn't mean you should dismiss the possibility entirely!"
Temari, being the most responsible of the three children, took Baki's side in an instant. "That's right, you two. You should always be prepared for any possibility, whether or not it's probably going to happen."
Ash was too used to getting ganged up on to be mad about it, so he simply shrugged. "Sis, aren't you ever worried that you're becoming too much like Cyclops of all people? I mean, do you really want him to be your role model?"
"Well, I... I mean... I'm not really becoming like him, am I?"
Both of her brothers nodded.
"Oh man, really? Is it really that bad?"
Another nod from both of them cemented the look of horror on Temari's face. "I... I'm becoming like Baki... unbelievable..."
Baki scowled as he received the brunt of his students' disdain. Getting any real respect out of the boys had always been difficult, but at least Temari usually respected him as her sensei, if nothing else. Now those brothers of hers were turning even her against him. "Let's just get going before the three of you manage to deprive me of my already faltering sanity."
Baki leaped into the trees, his students sharing a smile between themselves before getting ready to follow their sensei.
"Hey, wait just a second!"
The Sand Genin turned to cast curious looks at Kurotsuchi, who was approaching them from across the clearing. All three of them tensed up a little, prepared for the worst, even though at this point, Ash did not think she would do anything against them. Still, ninja from different villages weren't often engaging each other in any casual manner. Being wary was just natural. That was probably why Temari spoke up for all of them.
"What is it?"
Kurotsuchi stopped in front of Ash, a cheerful smile on her face. "OK, I gotta know: you really figured that out about us in like, five minutes? Was it that obvious?"
The young blonde from the Sand smirked. Maybe Make-Out Paradise really had given him some valuable knowledge. "The romantic tension between the two of you was practically suffocating me."
The older girl speaking to him frowned, though it was just because she could sense the hint of mockery. "Psh, alright, wise guy. Don't get too full of yourself, or I'll get second thoughts about thanking you for your impromptu therapy session. I hate to admit it, but me and Deidara probably would have taken another six months to acknowledge our feelings if left to our own devices... which is why I was wondering, would you mind staying in touch with me? I might need more advice on how to interpret that oaf's nonsense in the future."
To this, Ash cocked a genuinely confused eyebrow. "You... want to stay in touch with a nine-year-old Genin from another village over your romantic life? I mean, I'm not totally against the idea, as objectively weird as it is, but isn't there someone in your village-"
"I was considered the most love-savvy girl in my graduating class."
"...we'll keep in touch."
With a smile, Kurotsuchi leaned down suddenly and placed a chaste kiss on Ash's cheek. For her, seemingly nothing of note at all. "Awesome. Thanks, squirt! Just address it to 'Kurotsuchi' and I should get any letters just fine. I mean, the intel division will definitely investigate any letters, but we should expect that for correspondence between ninja villages. Who should I address letters to if I send something your way?"
Though a little stunned by the sudden kiss, innocent though it may have been, Ash managed to give an answer. "Uh... it'll have to be addressed to 'Rōzeki' to actually reach me through official channels. But, uh, you can call me 'Ash' in the letter. That's what I go by with my friends."
"Friends, huh? Aren't you cheeky?"
Identifying her shameless grin, Ash smirked back in a similar manner. "Says the girl asking to be pen pals after like, five minutes."
"Kurotsuchi, we need to get going! We've got a long trip back to the Hidden Stone!"
With the conversation interrupted by her teammates, Kurotsuchi got back to her feet and turned on her heel, offering a wave before walking away. "Alright, fair enough. Nice meeting ya, Ash. Talk to you one of these days, alright?"
The girl turned and returned to her team and her new boyfriend, leaving Kankuro and Temari in dumbfounded awe as Ash gave a weak wave of his own in return. This wasn't exactly how he'd expected to make his first friend outside of the Hidden Sand, but he certainly wasn't going to complain about it. None of the kids said anything at all until Baki returned to them.
"What the hell are you all doing? Hurry up!"
Without a word, Ash leaped into the trees, his siblings by his sides. They stayed silent for nearly a full minute as they hopped through the branches, until Kankuro finally took note of his brother's expression, which was very grating for the slightly older boy. It was no secret as to why his younger brother looked so pleased with himself. Kankuro couldn't help but feel irritated about it.
"Wipe that smug look off your face!"
Despite the demand, that smug look stayed cemented on Ash's face for at least another thirty minutes. Nothing either of his siblings could say could change that: not Kankuro's irritation at his brother getting a kiss from an older girl, or Temari's irritation for... well, the exact same thing.
---
The trip back to the Sand went by much more quickly than Ash would have liked. Leaving the Land of Claws—and its wonderful lack of sand—had been painful, especially since the return trip felt so much shorter than the original. Before he knew it, Ash was back in the daily routine of performing boring D-ranks and hating the sun. It had only been a week since the mission to the Land of Claws, and already he was growing sick of his home again.
For now, though, Ash had managed to evade both work and training and was sitting in one of the village's many indoor cafes: with the damned sun outside, there were very few outdoor establishments. Ash was not here to eat but to dodge Baki and read Make-Out Paradise. He already knew every scene in the book, but he didn't have much else to read, and in the confines of his own mind, he'd admit that there was a certain taboo to the novel that intrigued him. Before reading it, Ash hadn't put too much thought into girls. But he found himself thinking increasingly curious thoughts about them thanks to the racy scenes scattered throughout Make-Out Paradise. Sure, the plot was actually pretty good, and the characters were well-written, but for a kid his age, reading about the carnal escapades of the two lovers kept him the most interested. He wasn't sure if his fascination was the birth of perversion or just the regular desire of a kid to engage in mature content beyond their years—regardless, he found himself thinking about kissing and stuff a lot more than he had a year ago.
To this day, Ash hadn't revealed the true nature of the book to Sohara. She'd be mortified if she knew she'd made such an obscene blunder. Her ignorance was bliss, and his gain. He wasn't ashamed, personally. That was why he was reading the book in public, not to mention allowing a brunette girl even younger than him to read along over his shoulder. Matsuri, a girl he'd spent a fair deal of time entertaining the past few years, pointed at a particular paragraph on the page.
"Ash, what does that word mean? That one that starts with F?"
Ash noted the expletive Matsuri was pointing at, and quickly flipped to the next page. His answer feigned ignorance. "I don't know."
Unfortunately, Matsuri's next question was even more problematic. "Do adults really have to touch each other a bunch like this? Why?"
"Er... it's a way for adults to say they love each other, that's all."
"Really? How come nobody does that to me? My mom and dad love me, but they don't do that."
Ash closed the book in his hands. Maybe he'd been a little too cavalier about letting Matsuri read over his shoulder. He'd honestly thought she wouldn't understand any of it. "It's, uh... a special kind of love that's only for grown-ups."
Matsuri furrowed her brow. Ash could sense a wave of extra questions coming, so he headed her off with a question of his own. "I heard you bragging to your new friend the other day, Matsuri. What's her name?"
Thankfully, a child as young as Matsuri was easily distracted. "Oh, yeah! Her name is Yukata! That's a weird name, isn't it? I thought that was clothes."
"Yeah, it's a little weird. But I can't really talk. What were you talking about with her?"
"About how we're gonna go to the Academy next year! We just gotta get a little older, then we can be ninjas just like you, Ash!"
Some part of Ash acknowledged that he didn't need to crush the dreams of a little kid, but he couldn't help himself. He felt obligated to dissuade Matsuri from his career path. "Why would you want that? Being a ninja is terrible, you know."
"It's not terrible! You protect people, go on adventures, and make new friends! That's all really good, right?"
Ash cocked an eyebrow at his friend. "Who told you all of that? Sounds like they were full of it."
"Big sister Temari told me, after you guys got back from your mission."
Ash shook his head as he imagined Temari brainwashing this poor girl. If Temari had sunk her optimistic claws into Matsuri, it was already too late for Ash to change things. Temari was very stubborn about such things. At this point, Ash had no reason to counter Matsuri's dream. She was just a child, so why bother debating the merits of shinobi life with her?
"Well, if Temari said it, it must be true. You still have that year before you attend the Academy, though. Keep enjoying your childhood while you still can. Ninja don't get much chance to do that later on."
Matsuri's chubby face pulled into a frown. "Is that why you're never happy, Ash? You don't really smile a lot anymore."
These words hit Ash much harder than he'd have expected. Never happy? Surely he was truly happy every once in a while, or at the very least, he was pleased... or was he really losing all ability to smile or laugh? He couldn't imagine that Matsuri would lie to him about this.
Unwilling to think of it any longer, Ash folded his arms behind his head and leaned back in his chair. "Don't be ridiculous, Matsuri. I'm happy right now, spending time with you. See?"
He smiled at his petite companion, genuinely pleased to see the joyous reaction he received from her. For now, the feeling was enough to put his unease to rest. But in the back of his mind, he buried the seeds the little girl had planted, unsure when they'd grow into bigger doubts.
---
Weeks passed slowly in the Land of Wind. The scenery and routine never changed. In places like the Land of Fire, one could look at the trees and tell what season it was by the color of the leaves. In the Hidden Sand, you could only tell the time of year through a calendar, or if it rained twice in three months instead of once.
The terrible routine of D-rank missions and training didn't help either. Doing the same thing every day caused them all to blend, and Ash felt like he wasn't even aging. The limbo his life was in made it feel like he was going to be stuck as a laboring Genin forever. Even now, as he'd miraculously worked up the motivation to train out in the oasis he had claimed today, Ash found it hard to focus on improving anything at all.
His flames had grown slightly more condensed since he'd first learned to use them, increasing their explosive power, but beyond that, Ash had made little progress with his abilities. If anything, he was backsliding a little.
The mission to the Land of Claws raised Ash's spirits for a brief period, but returning home quickly reversed the effect. Fully aware that the potency of his flames depended on his emotional state of being, Ash found it increasingly difficult to fuel his powers with anything positive. Every time he practiced with his flames, more blue leaked into his attacks. He couldn't control it or do anything about it: he'd been a ninja for less than a year, and he'd already completed more than a hundred D-Rank missions. How could he possibly be happy about that?
Ash tried to rationalize away his feelings all the time. He knew the many menial tasks he was assigned actually helped keep the village together, and he knew the village was receiving very few higher-level missions, never mind the fact that those were all taken by more experienced shinobi.
He knew his position in life right now was only logical, but that did nothing to make him hate it any less. In fact, his bitterness was twofold. It was bad enough that his survival and comfort had hinged on becoming a ninja against his will. But now that he actually was a ninja, he was wasting his life away carrying out repair jobs and catching stray birds. It was insulting and unjust. If Ash were going to be forced into a life of servitude, the least the Kazekage could have done was command him to carry out tasks with some actual meaning to them.
"Ash!"
The sound of Temari's voice from behind him cut Ash's training and thoughts short. Burying his hands in his pockets on reflex, the young shinobi turned to face his sister as she approached him from the edge of the oasis. It was absurd, but it felt like hiding his hands would also hide their inability to procure emerald flame.
"Hey, Sis. How'd you know I was out here?"
"Matsuri said she saw you leaving the village. Talk about a surprise: you haven't really done a lot of voluntary training these past few months..."
"I figured I should try to keep my skills sharp, even if I won't need them anytime soon. So what do you need?"
Temari planted a hand on her hip. "Do I have to need something to come see how my little brother is doing?"
Ash leveled a suspicious glance at her. "No, but are you saying that you don't have any other reason at all?"
Defeated, Temari sighed as she withdrew a small scroll from the satchel at her hip. "Of course I have other reasons, but that wasn't really the point... anyway, a member of the Intel Corps stopped me on the way here and said this message came in for you. It was brought here by a hawk from the Hidden Stone, so they checked the scroll for traps and they read through its contents for security reasons. Sorry if you feel like your privacy has been violated."
Ash held his hand out, and Temari tossed the scroll to him. To be honest, he was not angry about the precautions. It was unusual for shinobi from different villages to communicate like this unless they were plotting something or going rogue. Not to mention that the Hidden Stone and Sand fought each other quite vehemently during the first and second Great Ninja Wars.
"It's fine. I know that they need to check for risks. Besides, I doubt Kurotsuchi said anything unnecessary in this."
"You actually remember her name?"
"Of course I do, she kissed me. And she was pretty cute."
Still a little miffed about an older girl smooching on her brother, Temari crossed her arms and scowled. "Don't remind me... what does it say, anyway?"
Ash gave her a sly look. "Don't be rude, Sis. This letter isn't addressed to you."
"Don't give me that! As your big sister, it's my job to make sure nothing bad happens to you, especially in a case like this! A suspicious girl like that writing letters to a young boy like you? She... she could be a predator or something!"
"Well, she did seem pretty into me at the end there..."
Temari's fearsome countenance intensified tenfold. "Ash, I'm serious here! I don't trust that Ku..Kuro... whatever her name is, I don't trust her at all!"
Ash rolled his eyes as he opened up the scroll that was addressed to him. "If Kurotsuchi really bothers you that much, I'll let you read this when I'm done, alright?"
"Fine, hurry up and read it then."
Having pacified his sister, Ash scanned the words on the parchment, noting that Kurotsuchi's handwriting had a peculiar slant to it: or maybe that was just her sloppy penmanship.
Hey, squirt! I've got no idea if this is getting to you. I mean, I can't really know until I get a message back, but I addressed it the way you told me to. Anyway, I'm not gonna talk about anything important in this message, since I don't even know if you'll get it. If you do, though, you can just give your response to the hawk I sent, and it'll come back to the Stone without a problem. I know it's kinda hypocritical for me to say this, but don't take forever to get back to me, alright? This was mostly just to establish whether or not this whole thing was gonna work out. Anyway, get back to me! Deidara's already driving me nuts, and I need your wisdom!
Finished reading the message, Ash tossed it back to Temari, who read it over with a harsh glare. "Are your child predator senses tingling, Sis?"
Temari's scowl shrank into a mere frown as she rolled up the scroll and passed it back to her brother. "No, you jerk, they aren't. Geez, I was just worried..."
"I think you were just jealous."
"Shut up. Do you want to hear the other reason I'm here or not?"
Ash pocketed Kurotsuchi's message, wondering how often he'd be able to communicate with her. "Depends; is it the kind of thing I'll actually be happy to hear?"
"We're getting another mission, as a team. It's officially a C-rank, but Baki said that it's more like a B-rank."
While Ash normally would have been excited to receive another mission above D-rank, the idea of a B-ranked mission worried him, whether it was official or not. "They're going to send Genin on what's unofficially a B-rank mission? Shouldn't Chunin be attending to it?"
"We aren't the only ones going. A whole team of Jonin is going too, Baki included, and there'll be two Chunin squads as well."
Ash calculated the numbers in his head. Ranks aside, that was fourteen ninja being sent on a single mission. It was extremely obvious that something big was going down. "If they're sending that many Jonin, it sounds like we're gonna be a bit out of our depth, Sis."
"We're really just going as backup, and even then, only as a last resort."
"Somehow I get the feeling that last resort is gonna be necessary..."
Temari turned to head back to the village, motioning for Ash to follow her. "Well, with where we're going, it wouldn't be a surprise."
"And where would that be?"
"Don't worry, you'll like it: the Land of Water is about as different from here as you can get."
Despite her words, Ash felt only concern upon hearing this. Leaving the Land of Wind was usually cause for celebration, but even he knew that the Bloody Mist was not exactly a top vacation destination.