"...No!" I whine as I realize that I don't actually have enough mana left to actually cast [Teleport] right now.
Grumbling, the angry noises incoherent even to me, I double check that [Meditation] is active and then roll my OOM ass out of Taylor's bed and tromp downstairs.
"Something wrong?" Taylor's sitting on the couch with what I think is her costume ideas sketchbook out, but has already set it down in her lap to stare at me as I reach the bottom of the stairs. Danny, over at the kitchen table with a pile of paperwork, is doing the same thing though so it's probably not her power that tipped her off.
"No." I shake my head, turning on [Telepathy]. =Yes.= "Just a headache."
Taylor raises an eyebrow at me as I trudge my way over to the couch, flopping down bonelessly on my side of it.. =I got Teleport, but I'm too…= Double checking that Uncle Danny can't see me from where he is, I wiggle my fingers at the side of my head. =...to use it right now.=
"Ah." Taylor nods before going back to her drawings. I'm a little surprised that she's doing it with Uncle Danny right there but then again, even knowing I'm looking at doesn't make it any less abstract art looking given she seems to be drawing different ideas for very small things from the point of view of her spiders.
"Yeah, I'm sure I'll be fine by school tomorrow." I wiggle my feet until my cold toes are under Taylor's warm leg. =And! We don't need to take the bus anywhere, like, ever again now.=
"Uh." Taylor's pencil pauses. "Jane?"
"Yeah?"
"We have the week off."
"What? Why?" I bolt upright, staring back and forth between Taylor and Uncle Danny. "Did something get wrecked?"
Uncle Danny laughs and Taylor stares at me funny while I try to puzzle out why they'd cancel school. I mean, yeah, I don't really watch the news or pay attention to stuff but anything that cancels school for both of us would have to be a, like, big deal. Wouldn't it? Something like... Bakuda? No. We are waytoo early for Bakuda and nothing about that would be funny. Umm-
"It's… February vacation?"
February? What happens in February? Wait, didn't Ziz hit Canberra- "Oh…." I nod as the entirety of what Taylor said finally clicks. "Right. February vacation. That's totally a thing." That makes way more sense than me sleeping through an End- "Wait, it's February? When did that happen?"
Uncle Danny laughs at me again as he points towards the calendar on the fridge. "Two weeks ago."
"Oh. Well… okay then." I settle back down on the couch. =I guess that'll make it easier to find time to visit a hospital.=
=Your costume isn't even ready yet.= Taylor sighs into my brain, 'rolling her eyes at me' without actually doing so or transmitting an image of either of those things.
=Even if they were…= I 'shrug' back at her, annoyed at the fact that I can feel my shoulders twitch physically as I do so. It would be kind of depressing how much better she's getting at that than me given that she's not the one casting the spell if I didn't know who her passenger was or how her powers worked. As it is, I try to just ignore it and carry on. =I don't know if what we came up with is really appropriate for… is it still candy striping if we have powers?"
Amusingly, given my recent thought on her skill with telepathy, Taylor takes the time to pause what she's doing and turn to look at me, using her face to very clearly conveying a sense of 'how the fuck would I know?'
=Fair.= I sigh. =But I think all we really need for this is a pair of domino masks and some clothes we wouldn't normally wear.=
=You still want me to come with you then?=
I can practically taste the conflicted feelings she has about her question, let alone 'hear' them, so I make sure to push as much absolute certainty as I possibly can into my answer. =Yes, Taylor, I want you to come with me.= Then I hit her in the brain with a cartoon fish. =As an 'unattended healer,' I may as well roll around in catnip and wear a 'please kidnap me' sign on my back. And as difficult to kidnap as I may now be, I'd rather not actually need to test that. Or let people know how much I can do. Or... you know. Simply not being alone will probably stop plenty of that by itself and having a biblical plague on obvious standby should I go missing ought to at least make the others take longer to think about it.=
=Ah.= Taylor nods, looking like her world makes sense again.
I squint at her, something about her acceptance setting my sibling-senses a-tingling. It sounds kinda mean, now that I'm thinking about it but, like, seriously, my cousin's depressive tendencies require a not inconsiderable amount of percussive maintenance to keep in line.
=And!= I make the cartoon fish bigger, imagining it looming over us like a Sword of Damocles. =Afterwards we can go get New York pizza together from some hole in the wall and, like, hang out and stuff. I do enjoy-=
I blink, my train of though dying as I suddenly make a connection I whiffed completely on before. "Oh no." Pulling up my sleeve, I stare at my clean, as in multiple-cleanses-and-a-shower clean, arm. "Shit-take mushrooms!" I barely catch myself, only remembering Danny's in the room at the last second.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Taylor asks as I bury my head backwards into the pillow and groan.
"Yes. No… I just. Ugh! I'm fine but now I feel like a total… biscuit." I roll off the couch and onto my feet. "Uncle Danny, do we have a phone book?" How many Laborns can there be in one town?
"In the chimney closet." He points.
"Thank you!" I make my way over to the indicated closet and rummage around. Oh, wow, this thing looks new. I guess, Earth Bet's technological hodge-podge works out in my favor for once?
Carrying the nearly pristine tome of a book over to the table, I sit down across from Uncle Danny and start flipping through it. "Laborn… Laborn… L! L-A…"
"That's…" Danny visibly thinks for a moment. "One of the girls you mentioned making friends with at school?"
"Yeah, Aisha. She wrote her phone number on my arm on Friday and I kinda forgot all about it until just now." Switching which hand is running a finger down the L-A-B section of the phonebook looking for the start of the O's, I hold up my now bare arm. Mentally, I add, =I purged it alongside everything else during the pixiedust thing.=
"She… wrote it on your arm?" Danny's voice has an odd tone to it.
"Yeah." I nod distractedly.
"Was she asking you out on a date?" Danny's odd tone intensifies while suddenly making sense. Sort of… I'm not sure why he went there immediately, but being uncomfortable with it is part of being a parent.
At which thought, I pause my search for a moment to look at him. "Nah." I shake my head before pausing to think about it. "I mean… kinda? Like, she did sort of word it that way, but I'm pretty sure she just did that to fffu- mess with Ruth."
"Ruth?"
"Ruth Herren. Empire groupie chick that sits with us at our desk-table-thing. She's… not awful… but Aisha's black so… Yeah." I shrug. "Rehabbing her is a bit of an ongoing project so I didn't really think anything of it when Aisha started hamming it up while talking about doing something next week. Or this week now. But I also figured I had three classes with her so of course I'd see her next- this week." I sigh, going back to my search.
LAB… O!
Ooof.
That is a lot of Laborns.
"And you're sure she wasn't asking you out?" Danny asks, sounding like doing so is almost physically painful.
"Meh." I look up at him again, and yeah. He looks super uncomfortable right now. "I mean, it's Aisha so, like… call it maybe 90% sure? I know she likes boys but I also wouldn't bet money against her winning a game of gay chicken against an actual lesbian so…" I shrug, throwing him a bone. "Whatever. It's not like it matters."
"Why wouldn't it matter?" Taylor turns around on the couch to join the conversation before Danny can bring himself to respond.
"Taylor." I frown as hard as I can at her. "I'm twelve." A statement I'm starting to think might be more true than not even considering my unusual origins.
I try not to laugh at how obviously relieved Danny suddenly looks.
I don't succeed, but I do try.
O… kay then…
"Sorry for bothering you ma'am." I hold the still screeching phone away from my ear as I reach up and press down on the hook thing to end the call.
"Not that one either, I take it?" Danny asks, everyone in the house having been able to hear Laborn number 7's incoherent… whatever that was. Hell, I think the neighbors might have caught some of that.
"Dunno." I shrug. "That might have just been her mom tweaking out."
"What?" I add when Taylor and Danny both make faces at me. "There's a reason I'm taking this so seriously."
Turning back to the phone, I start dialling the eighth number from the phone book.
It rings a few times before being answered with a fairly distinctive, "Yo!"
"Hey, Aisha!"
"Who is this?"
"Rude!"
"Oh. Hey, Jane! …Why didn't you call my cell?"
"Cause my dumb ass took a shower before I remembered to write your number down."
I sigh as Aisha starts laughing at me."You really are a fucking Goldfish."
"Yeah, yeah, yuck it up, Squish."
"Okay!" I announce after hanging up and turning around again. "Good news! Aisha is at her dad's this week."
"We heard." Uncle Danny smiles.
"Right." I nod, giving him two thumbs up.
"Yeah." Taylor raises an eyebrow at me. "Apparently I'm taking you to the mall on Tuesday?"
"Yup!" I nod like a bobble head, giving myself time to add a bit for just Taylor. =You are invited but I don't actually need you to take me there, obviously. I'll just blip us over.= "The Wards are doing one of those meet-and-greet PR things."
"And it's not a date?" Uncle Danny double checks even though he obviously heard me verify that myself.
"Not a date." I agree happily, skipping my way back to the couch and flopping back down. "Still only twelve."
=But speaking of blipping…= I wiggle my toes back under Taylor's leg. =I feel like we should revisit the topic of telling your dad about our- well, my powers-=
Taylor instantly goes stock still. =You agreed-=
=I did!= I reassure her. =And I will stick to that if you want me to.=
=...But?=
=Butts!= I grin. =There's something extra to consider now.=
Taylor sighs. =And what's that?=
=It occurs to me that it would be significantly harder to kidnap a man who has an open telepathy connection to a teleporting biblical plague. Not to mention the whole healing thing if something unfortunate happens at work.=
=Is that…= She frowns. =Likely?=
=I don't think so? But… we can't ever really know that Coil hasn't stumbled over our existence in a timeline that never was and, again, he's kind of… the obvious point of leverage on either of us.=
=I'll think about it.=
=That's all I ask.= My stomach gurgles loudly, and I amend that statement. =Oh. Well, I guess I'm also asking how you feel about getting…= I take a moment to poke at my stomach and ask it what it wants. =...Italian?=
=I don't think there's any Italian places around here that deliver?= Taylor frowns uncertainly. =And I'd rather not run into any of the kids from school.=
=Taylor.= I poke her with my foot. =I want Italian, not…= I trail off rather than outright insulting the warzone she grew up in, though I'm sure some of it leaked out anyway. =We'd be eating in Boston.=Last edited: Mar 18, 2025 Like ReplyReport Reactions:SomeoneBlue, Degenerative Wilson, Allon M. and 77 othersAetheronMar 18, 2025Add bookmarkView discussionThreadmarks 17 New View contentAetheronFlinger of Spaghetti, Recorder of Results.Mar 20, 2025Add bookmark#34=I can't believe I let you talk me into this.= Taylor whines into my brain as we blip into the North End, becoming the us who were always wandering the city in search of deliciousness.
=Honestly?= I turn to look at her. =I can't either.=
No. Wait, Brain, no. We're in public, and sort of in 'costume,' so it's Weaver who was whining into my brain. And it's Weaver I'm looking at now.
Like me, she's wearing one of her hoodies with a 'Hi, my name is: Weaver/Lexicon' sticker added to it, a pair of jeans, and a domino mask that I stuck a shaped 'hostile visual disruption' [Ward] onto. Honestly, even if it isn't at all what I originally set out to do, having anyone that looks under our hoods see nothing but a staticky blue glow while still letting us see and eat normally is definitely… glowing on me. I might need to make way dimmer for any kind of stealthy field work, but if I never figure out a way to make everyone just magically see their own face staring back at them from under my hood– Or helmet,or… whatever I settle on– then I think I might just keep doing this.
Unlike me though, she's standing stock still in that way she does when she's uncomfortable. Which, looking around, I can kind of understand. For all that Veirdian [Teleport] is the quiet, non-air-displacing variety, two people suddenly appearing on a crowded street in a flash of midnight blue light draws a lot of stares.
Hmmm… Two unknown people at that, which probably explains why everyone looks suddenly almost as nervous as my cousin.
Welp! The only out is through and the best way to fix that reaction to seeing us is time and exposure. So, with a shrug, I force myself into motion. Gluing the[Scry] eye I used to find us an empty patch of sidewalk to the back of my head, I twirl around and beckon Weaver to follow me as I skip backwards down the street. "Come on, Weaver! I'm hungry!"
When she doesn't start moving immediately, I add, =If it helps, just remember they're way more afraid of you than you are of them.= For good measure, I tack on my [Scry] eye's view of people scrambling to get out of my way.
=Right.= Taylor starts forward and… I think she just nodded at me?
Hmmm… I didn't really think about how much they'd hide any sort of emoting when I set up the [Wards]. Something to consider for next time, I guess? For now I'll have to remember to really ham up my body language where possible. Then again… maybe I'll keep it? I mean, oh no, my costume forces me to be a Giant Ham? However shall I survive!?
…I wonder if 'the scenery' is tasty?
Ugh, I'm hungry. Why did getting ready have to take so… forever? Neither of us even wear makeup!
=Where are we going, anyway?= Weaver asks as she catches up.
=Nuh uh.= I twirl back around to face forward, [Scry] eye zipping off to peruse some menus. =You have to ask that out loud.=
=Seriously?=
=Yup!= I make a show of looking around. =Powers are like loaded guns.= I shove over a mental image of cartoon, chibi-fied, versions of us wandering down the same street waving Ak-47's at the crowd. =Caping is as much about reassuring the panicky villagers that you won't drown them in bees if they ask for help as it is convincing the villains that you absolutely will if they start shit.=
=...Fine.= Taylor huffs. "Where are we going anyway?"
=Try to be louder, but that was good.= I spread my arms and gesture at the myriad restaurants, shops, and such that are packed into both sides of the street. "I don't know yet! Right now we're just looking around at menus for anything that looks good." I let myself gawk like the tourist I guess I technically am, embracing the almost uncanny valley effect of being in the North End but also very much not. Like, I'm pretty sure that pizzeria right there should be a pastry shop.
...And now I want a cannoli! But no, Stomach, those are dessert not dinner. We need to find a-
"OH!" Reality intrudes upon my half-planned skit as I spot what I'm looking for way sooner than I expected to. I'd be upset but, you know, delicious food spotted! "Nevermind! We're eating there!"
Grabbing Weaver's arm, I drag her along behind me up to the hostess station of what the sign says is some place called 'Venetian Moon Ristorante.'
"Uh." The hostess's face flickers briefly through 'are we being robbed?' on its way to 'strained customer service smile' but that's fine. "...Welcome to the Venetian Moon."
"Hi." I wave. "Table for two please!"
"Right this way?" Her smile is still very strained and body language stiff as she turns to start leading us to a table.
Hmmm… I look down at myself and then over at Weaver.
Maybe… Maybe next time we do this we should buy some brighter color hoodies rather than just grabbing a few of Taylor's old ones and hastily [Mend]ing the shit out of them?
Or, you know, wear my actual costume when Tay- Weaver finishes making it.
Then again... Am I really gonna wanna get dressed all fancy and stuff up just to pick up food? If this place's Tortellini al Forno is any good then probably I'll be here often enough for them to just get used to me...
Hot hot hot!
Pulling my forkful of stuffed pasta, melted cheese, and port wine whatever-it-is goodness out of my mouth, I blow on it a few times before stuffing it back in.
=Mmmmm… so good! Are you sure you don't want to try any?=
=I'm fine.= Weaver shakes her head, slowly twisting up a forkful of her scampi and then putting it in her mouth without dripping anything on herself.
=More for me!= I shrug, only remembering to put more of my arms into than usual at the last moment. =Where were we?=
=You said you had some ideas about distancing our 'cape personas' from our civilian lives.=
=Right.= Taking a sip of water, I explain. =So, obviously the bit I said before we left about taking all those complaints I had about you needing to, like, at least pretend you need to look where you're going and yeeting them out the window while in costume will be a good start. Very Clark Kenting and whatnot.=
=...Who?=
Oh my god.
I stare at my cousin for a moment before remembering she can't actually see the face I'm making at her.
=He's…= Oh. Right. Alexandria kind of ate his whole shtick here. =Nevermind. Just… imagine some guy walks into a gay bar. He's good looking or whatever, and even has the same hair and face as, say… Legend. But… he slouches, and he's shy to the point of avoiding eye contact when he talks and… you get it, right? No one's going to think he's actually Legend even if plenty of people tell him the resemblance is uncanny.=
Weaver slumps forward, resting her face in her hands. =Did you just out Legend?=
=What? No. Taylor, everyone knows he's gay. It's, like, his thing.=
=Not that. I- Why do you know who Legend is?=
=Oh…= I laugh. =Yeah, no. I have no idea who Legend is.=
Which is kinda funny, really.
I mean, it might be fanon but I'm pretty sure Eidolon's name is David and obviously Alexandria is Becky. Hell, I'm even like… 90 percent-ish that Legend's husband is named Arthur. But Legend himself? I've never been able to remember his name. Mike? No, I'm pretty sure that's wrong.
And either way, none of that has anything to do with anything we were talking abou-
=He's not that 'Clark Kenting' guy you mentioned?=
=...No!= As much as I try not to outright laugh at my cousin, given the terrible associations that likely has for her from school, I can't help it. Fortunately, [Telepathy] means I don't need air to talk so even being nearly in tears from laughing too hard can't stop me from reassuring her. =I mean, he probably isbut, like… Clark Kent is Superman, from those old-timey comics and stuff?= I push across a mental image of the guy in question. The one I'm using is from the animated series which probably never existed here, but whatever. ='Clark Kenting' is just what people call the way he could like… hide in plain sight using just a pair of glasses and a lot of body language as a disguise.= I have the mental image of Superman do the spinning costume change thing, swapping his costume for glasses and business suit as he slouches into being Clark Kent.
=...Oh.=
=Yeah. Honestly, I'm probably the one that's going to have to work on that side of things the hardest given that I tend to be very… me… like all the time.=
=You don't say?=
"Pbbbbt!" I stick my tongue out at her as far as it will go and blow a raspberry. =Anyway…my next idea was that I think we should 'let slip' that we're sisters some time when we're out in costume.=
=I'm not saying no, but… Why?=
=Because it's both technically true-ish yet also not at all how we'd show up in any records if someone breaks the rules and goes looking.=
=You're… really concerned about that, aren't you?=
=Brockton Bay has Coil, who kidnaps Thinkers. Boston…= I wave my fork in a circle at the restaurant full of people watching, or in a few cases, aiming their phones at us. =...has Accord, who sells people that annoy him to the Yangban.=
=Seriously?=
=I'm fuzzy on the details but I'm pretty sure that's what happened to one of the Travelers.= I nod, bobbing my whole body up and down so she can see it even through the distortion ward. =I assume New York and etc all have their own less flashy but equally less savory sorts of villains even if the only ones I can name off the top of my head are, like, March and Butcher who are both more the 'murder the fuck out of your face' sort of dangerous.=
=Mmmm…= Weaver grunts in agreement. =Who's Mar…= Weaver trails off, suddenly sitting up and staring at… the wall?
=Something wrong?= I ask, stuffing another forkful of deliciousness into my face just in case we need to run.
=...Maybe?= I get an impression of a map with an arrow pointing at a fairly large section of a street a few blocks over. =A lot of people are moving towards their windows to stare at something and I think some of them are screaming?=
=Uh.= I set my fork back down on my plate. =Hang on.=
Putting a [Scry] a couple hundred meters above the buildings around us, I share the view with Weaver as I try to orient myself relative to her map. =Uh… Where?=
=Over this way.= She imagines an arrow into existence over the eye's field of vision and I send it careening off in the indicated direction.
Which quickly leads to us finding a… uh… =Is that a gorilla?=
=I think so?=
Okay then.
A large, as in twelve feet tall, leafy-green, gorilla-looking thing is absolutely booking it down Hanover street while a metallic teenager– Weld, presumably– sprints after it.
Welcome to Bizarro Boston, everyone. Like ReplyReport Reactions:SomeoneBlue, Degenerative Wilson, Allon M. and 68 othersAetheronMar 20, 2025NewAdd bookmarkView discussionThreadmarks 18 New View contentAetheronFlinger of Spaghetti, Recorder of Results.Mar 22, 2025Add bookmark#40My focus wavers between my [Scry] eye and my dinner plate.
From what I can see from on high, the 'gorilla' has already caused a couple car accidents as people hurry to pull over and get out of its way but otherwise doesn't really seem to be attacking anyone per se apart from that. So… honestly, it's not that much worse for the already stop and go traffic than an ambulance with its lights on would be.
We could just continue eat-
Weaver, of course, immediately stands up and starts toward the exit.
I sigh. =What are you.= I stop myself, pushing my view of how many of the other patrons' eyes are now locked on to her. "What are you doing?" I ask a little louder than necessary for their benefit.
Fortunately, Weaver seems to grok what I'm doing pretty quickly, turning back to look at me and answering just as loudly. "...Stopping it?"
Part of me wants to ask her how exactly she plans to do that with bugs– In the middle of winter no less– but on top of having spent a not inconsiderable amount of effort trying to build up her opinion of her power… bugs are probably way better equipped to handle a gorilla made of leaves than they are Lungand… yeah.
Also, Weaver doesn't seem like she's in a mood to appreciate a half-joking suggestion that we become snowbirds, so instead I go with my other legitimate concern. "I know it's probably one of Blasto's… whatever-they're-calleds, but I don't think we're supposed to call them an 'it' until we confirm that they're not a Case 53." Which, as much empathy as my current situation may give me for their plight, Weaver and I are not the right people to handle.
Weld, on the other hand, is. Which is probably why a Ward is involved in this not-so-high speed chase to begin with?
…Or was the Brockton Bay wards being the only ones that saw combat regularly a fanon thing?
Weaver's head tilts to the side. "How do we tell the difference?"
I shrug, letting her question pull me from my tangent. "Probably by…" I groan. "…going out there and talking to them."
I can't see her face, obviously, but I don't need [Telepathy] to feel the impatience wafting off her as she makes an 'after you' gesture towards the door.
"Fiiine…" I sigh, glancing forlornly down at my delicious food before grabbing my napkin off my lap and tossing it on the table. "Let's go be heroes."
If nothing else, my statement seems to make our rapidly approaching waitress relax a little. Her smile even stops looking quite so forced as I dig my wad of cash out of my pocket and wave a bunch of it at her.
…Did she think we were going to just up and leave without paying? Are 'dine and dash villains' some kind of, like, thing here on Bet?
Whatever. Rounding up what I remember of the prices and then adding another twenty on top of that means I'm probably over paying by, like, a lot, but on the other hand… "Thanks…" I don't so much glance at her name badge as take full advantage of it being directly at eye level. "...Amanda. Can you box this up and set it aside for us?"
Halfway to the door already, Weaver whirls around and, I think, stares at me for a moment before remembering I can't see whatever face she's making at me. =Seriously!?=
"What?" I put my arms into shrugging at her. "I don't even know where you're going. It's not like we're walking there."
"...Right." Weaver doubletimes it back to me, holding out a hand.
=Get ready to run.= I grab her hand. =I'll drop us just behind Weld.=
I don't bother waiting for the blast of acknowledgement to become words before casting [Teleport].
The world flickers midnight blue and suddenly Weaver and I are the us that were already sprinting down the road after Weld.
Weaver stumbles the first step, not really having any way to actually be ready for the first step of suddenly-running! But she manages to use the hand I'm holding to catch herself and quickly finds her stride.
"Yo, Weld!" I yell, waving at him as his head whips around to stare at me. He doesn't stop running though, and only barely stumbles a little which is impressive, even if he immediately veers off to put some distance between us.
Ugh. Brighter color hoodies are moving from the maybe pile to the definitely pile. I'd roll my eyes at him, but it's not like he'd be able to tell, so I just ignore it and press on with the important question: "Is that a person?" I point, probably unnecessarily, at the leafy-gorilla-thing we're now all chasing. "Or one of Blasto's… whatchamacallits?"
Weld hesitates briefly, hand going to his ear, but then it drops back down as he veers back closer to us. "One of Blasto's!"
"You're sure?"
He nods. "The Teeth hit one of his labs and a bunch of these things came out to defend it before running off when the Protectorate showed up."
Ooooh… Yeah, 'everyone else is busy dealing with The Teeth,' does explain how a Ward might be let out on their own. "So… we're stopping it?"
Weld shakes his head. "Just keeping track of it until-" He cuts off, putting a hand to his ear and then looks our way. "If you can stop it, that'd be appreciated."
"Kay!" I try to nod, but putting my whole upper body into it to compensate for my current lack of face is… kinda hard… while sprinting down the road so I have no idea if he can tell.
Then I turn back to staring at the fleeing leaf-gorilla.
Damn. Can I stop it?
I eye my mana pool and run through my options.
…I should still be good to get us home? Well, as long as I don't fuck around any more than necessary.
That in mind, I use [Blink] rather than [Teleport] to become the me who's always been waiting in the middle of the road right where the cars have all already pulled out of the way.
=Jane!=
=What?= Aurifying [Stoneshape] and crossing my fingers, I pull a bunch of the road's underlayers out from under it, leaving the top centimeter or so in place, held up only by my will, while forming a low wall in between myself and the leaf-gorilla.
=You left me behind!=
=Bitch, I am not made of mana!=
Fortunately, the leaf-gorilla– Which, from the front, looks like it picked a fight with a wood chipper and somehow won.– decides to try and go over my deliberately insufficient barrier rather than around and I let the hollowed out road collapse right as it tries to put its weight on it.
=I don't even-= Weaver's response dissolves into a blast of irritated discontent. Or maybe I just lose focus on it, being too busy shoving the 'wall' forward as the gorilla's momentum forces it into my impromptu pit trap. Having the stone flow around its flailing limbs as it crashes down and re-solidify without letting it use that same stone as a handhold to grab onto to stop itself is a lot harder to do than describe.
I manage to get both legs and an arm, but the other arm slips free and takes a swing at me before I can grab it.
It misses, barely. A green blur just suddenly in my face before I can so much as blink, and then gone again as the wind of its passing buffets me, startles me into belatedly throwing myself backwards where I fall on my ass in an undignified heap.
Fell for 2 HP damage!
Only 2?
…Hooray for landing squarely on the only part of me with any padding worth mentioning, I guess?
The leaf-gorilla continues struggling, even punching the ground to try and break free. Which, just in case I missed the green hand-shaped advert that whizzed past my face a moment ago, serves as a fairly stark reminder for future-Jane: Punch Wizards can cast [Fist] a lot faster than the one second global cooldown my spells work off of.
Fortunately, even at twelve feet tall, punching its way free from solid stone isn't really a viable solution in the short term. Just in case though, I crab walk backwards a bit and then stand up before letting…
Stoneshape level up!
…[Stoneshape] lapse.
Fucking now you level up? Whatever. More important things to worry about at the moment.
Like, for instance, watching to make sure the fused stone holding it doesn't immediately give out without my will backing it up.
It… doesn't seem to be? So, dusting off my pants, I try talking to it. "Yo!" I wave. "Are you a person in there? Can you talk or anything?"
Apart from continuing to try and break free, there's no reaction. Nor, as far as I can tell, are any of the noises it's making any kind of attempt to communicate with me. Not even to, like, flip me off or whatever.
Right. So… Person vs Thing hopefully settled, I guess it's time to… uh…
Huh.
I have no idea what I'm supposed to do next here.
Should I even be doing anything more here?
Shuffling sideways, I keep an eye on the leaf-gorilla as I make my way around it towards where Weld and Weaver seem to have been joined by some out of breath looking lady in purple spandex a short ways off.
No one's been covered in bees, which I assume is a good sign, even if they're both keeping their distance and Weld has his hand to his ear again.
"Hey!" I wave at them. "Old people!" I give the two teens and maybe-teen/maybe-twenty-something a moment to have their confused 'wait, does she mean me?' moment before I Vanna White at the leaf-gorilla. "What do we do with it now?"
Purple-lady looks up from her hands on knees catching-my-breath position but all she 'says' is a wheezing noise before flailing an arm at Weld who gamely picks up the slack. "Do with it?"
"Yeah." I smack a fist into my palm. "Does Console just want us to squish it so it stops trying to escape?" I point at where it's continuing to try and do just that. "Or are these things, like, a hazmat issue now?"
"Ah." Weld gestures at his earpiece. "That's what we've been discussing."
Purple-lady loudly sucks in a deep breath and then tries talking again. "Can you even 'squish' it? They've proven surprisingly durable in the past."
"Really?" I ask. "The thing's front half is kinda shredded."
"This one ran through one of Vex's fields and kept going."
Vex… Vex… "Oh. That's the razor glitter force field… uh… dude-lady-person, right?"
"I don't think anyone would call her a Lady, but yes."
"Fair enough and in that case…" I call up [Stoneshape]'s new box.
Stoneshape 7, 1 minute per level, medium range.
Slowly move large amounts of stone and sand OR gain fine control over medium amounts of stone and sand for 2 minute per level of Stoneshape. 55 MP
Quickly move minor amounts of stone and sand around you for 1 minute per level of the spell. Fine control. 50 MP
Oof. Now there's a transition level if I ever saw one. Very promising implications for what level 10 will look like, but still, oooooof.
"...Maybe?"
Purple-lady nods. "We have the go ahead for you to try then."
I make a point of looking to Weaver.
=What?=
=Pretty sure she means 'my boss wants to know more about what you can do without actually asking you about what you can do' so… I'm being equally obvious about saying she's not the boss of me it's your call without actually saying I care more about your opinion than theirs.=
=That's...= Weaver more huffs than laughs, but it's a start. =They've already seen you do the rocks thing, and…= Weaver shrugs. "It's not like we can just leave it there."
"Fair enough." Cracking my knuckles I turn back toward the gorilla thing. "I would feel kinda bad about adding to the city's pothole collection, let alone something like, well… that." I gesture broadly at the huge mess I made out of the road.
I get three steps forward before pausing and turning back around as I realize I never actually got an answer on the hazmat thing. "And we're sure it's not, like, toxic or anything?"
Purple-lady shakes her head. "None of the others have been."
"Kay." I nod, skipping back over to my leafy opponent and watching it for a moment.
Hmmm… I was originally going to hit it with a big rock or maybe a stone spike but if it can run through Vex's razor field with only cosmetic damage then…
Aurifying [Stoneshape] I- Woah…
…I get distracted briefly by the much larger radius of my stonesense aura. I guess this might be doable after all.
Double checking there's nothing that feels like a pipe under or between the gorilla and I, I start slowly lifting up another section of road a short distance away. I try to keep the asphalt and it's supporting sand and gravel layers together a single chunk as best I can as I expose the base dirt buried way down there, setting it all down all out of the way for later. Then, I start shifting said dirt and random rocks out from under the gorilla by pulling it all down, over, and then up though the new hole in the road until I have a large pit beneath the gorilla and an equally large blob of dirt floating next to me.
Lowering the gorilla into the pit by the fused stone wrapped around three of it's limbs, I dump the dirt on top of it until its filled in enough that I can grab the other arm and force that down too as I add even more dirt on top and level the top off. That done, I put the slab of road, sand, and gravel from the new hold back into place, re-fusing the asphalt together.
Now what do I do with the left over dirt?
…Oh, right, duh,
Keeping hold of the dirt in the pit and pressing it down so the gorilla can't escape, I-
You have slain Leaf-Gorilla D!
40% Participation
+5720 exp
Level up!
+2 Ability Points
…Oh.Last edited: Oct 29, 2025 Like ReplyReport Reactions:SomeoneBlue, veneratte, Degenerative Wilson and 95 othersAetheronMar 22, 2025NewAdd bookmarkView discussionThreadmarks 19 New View contentAetheronFlinger of Spaghetti, Recorder of Results.Oct 28, 2025Add bookmark#47A/N: My muse wandered off on me again for long enough that it probably won't be jarring anymore...
But for anyone that reread 18 "recently" yet not "literally-minutes" ago... Yes, the exp number is different now.
I changed my mind about what level I wanted the Leaf Gorilla to count as due to some considerations relating to a scene I haven't written yet but have had on my to do list from the beginning. And then! THEN! In the process of changing which cell I aimed the formula at to get the new number… I realized I'd calculated the whole thing off the wrong flipping column anyway. ARRRRGH!
…Note to self: if I ever go back and do edits, Jane should totally use 'flipping' instead of 'fucking'. Embrace the Tween, Jane. Embrace the Tween.
I stare at the little blue box hovering in front of me.
You have slain Leaf-Gorilla D!
40% Participation
+5720 exp
My thoughts on it are… Well, just trying to have all of them all at once is apparently enough to make my brain hurt.
Err, actually, that might be the mana-exhaustion. Letting [Stoneshape] lapse, I make sure [Meditation] is active before going back to staring at the box.
On the one hand, Erick's silly issues with these boxes suddenly don't seem quite so silly anymore. I killed something and have the box to prove it. It's dead because I killed it. And yeah, it's 'just a leaf-gorilla' but so was Harambe apart from the leaf bit and…
uh…
Yeah…
…Ooof.
I am suddenly very happy the box isn't displaying someone's name. "You have slain Harambe" would be bad. Or, even worse, something with unfortunate implications like, I don't know, "Alice Soylent," or whatever would just be… Not something I want to think about anymore.
I mean, sure, even with all of that baggage, there's a big part of me that is just flipping giddy. 'Cause like, of course I am. That's…what? A third of- Wait no. Ha! That's forty percent of what I get from leveling a skill to level 10.
Which means… the gorilla was level 10? Or at least that's how it would work if I were killing people-
Nope!
Nope nope nope! Come on, Brain, shush! I was very clear about the fact that we aren't going there.
Besides, it wasn't a people! It was a monster. Or a… bio-tinker construct or an Abomination unto Science-Nuggen or whatever they call them here. So… let's just move on shall we, brain?
So: Are monsters different? Like, mechanically, not… ethically or whatever. That one is as flipping obvious as it is unpleasant. Or at least it would have been on Veird. Here we have Dragon, who definitely is a person, so…
Ugh.
In what is kinda starting to sum up my experiences in Earth Bet so far, I once again find myself with awkward questions aplenty and no one to answer them.
'Cause, like, why level 10? That feels really low for something that I'm pretty sure would have just straight up taken my face off if that swipe it took at me had connected.
Um... Wait, no, I'm just going to go back to not thinking about how close I came to maybe probably dying today.
…Not that killing it right back wasn't equally trivial. So maybe that's why it's only-
Wait no. Arkenthingy didn't really do 'Challenge Ratings' or whatever. It being level 10 just means that it was level 10. Whatever that means for monsters– or Bio-tinker construct abominations as the case may be– here on Earth Bet where there is no System tracking XP gains for anyone but me.
Did Erick ever figure out what XP is? Cause-
No! One rabbit hole at a time!
So. Deep breath in… and out… Why level 10? And does that have anything to do with anything given that box's other obvious issues.
Namely, why is it leaf-gorilla D if I've only fought one of them? Aren't I supposed to be able to use the kill confirmation box as, like, proof of how many I bagged for kill quests or something? That's clearly wrong in this case, but… why? And if it's just that I'm misremembering how they work, then what doesthat D actually indicate? Is that literally its name and this the fourth Leaf-Gorilla Blasto ever made? Is it the fourth one of some subset? Like, the fourth to join the presumably still ongoing battle between Blasto, The Protectorate, and The Teeth? The fourth to die overall? The fourth to die today?
"You okay?" A hand lands on my shoulder, startling me.
=Gah!= Arms flailing, I whirl around only to find Weaver standing next to me. =Oh. Hey. What's up?=
Weaver sighs into my brain and I stare at her in confusion for a moment before realizing she'd asked me a question out loud rather than via telepathy. And also that we have an audience because it turns out other people don't stop existing just because I forget about them, so Weld and Purple-Lady are standing nearby too now.
Not really sure how to respond, I settle for a decisive, "...huh?"
Weaver sighs again, out loud this time. "You kinda just stopped all of a sudden."
"Oh…" I start to wave negligently at the big hole in the street before realizing I do not have enough mana left in the tank to both fix that and teleport us both home. "Yeah… I…" Refusing to let my guilt over making a mess of the street get us stranded here I instead lean into my conflicted feelings over my victory, letting the aborted motion blend into a whole body slump. "Mister Gorilla is dead." Taking a step forward I wrap my arms around Weaver's middle and smoosh my face against her as I look around with my scry eye to find us and have it float over.
Weaver, of course, just stands there, doing her rigidly still thing because she's not used to improv work. Or surprise hugs.
=Come on…= I groan at her. =Play along.=
"There... There?" Her Baymax impression sounds more confused than comforting as she pats the back of my head, but I guess it's close enough.
"Can we go home now?" I whine outloud, while elaborating mentally, =My headache tells me I don't have much left in the tank and I'd rather not let the government put my limitations in a report Coil can steal.=
Blipping us back into our room at home, I sway on my feet a bit as my mana bottoms out almost completely.
"Jane?" Weaver grabs my shoulder to steady me. "Are you sure you're okay?"
"Yeah." I nod, before suddenly having all the regrets and deciding it might be better to just sit down on Taylor's bed for a bit. "I just need a moment. Or maybe five."
"Okay." Weaver stares at me awkwardly for a moment. Not her 'still as a statue' Skitter-awkward, but like, normal human awkward-silence awkward.
…Oof. My brain hurts.
"...If you're sure." Weaver eventually continues, shrugging slightly before peeling off her mask.
"Yeah." Following suit, I almost try to cast [Cleanse] reflexively before catching myself and settling for rubbing my face and then checking my hand to make sure there isn't a bunch of dust or grime on it. Getting found out because I walked up to Uncle Danny looking like a domino-mask patterned raccoon would just be… embarrassing.
Ugh… I should have teleported us into the bathroom so we could use the mirror.
"The headaches fade pretty quickly at this point once I stop pushing things. Honestly, I'm more bummed out about not being able to go back for our food but I guess telling Weld he can have it isn't the worst." I pause, a depressing thought occurring to me. "Assuming the PRT actually lets him eat- Er. Wait. Can Weld even eat people-food or is he like a Wrought?"
"A what?"
…Whoops.
Welp! Nothing for it now. "Wroughts were these metal-golem-people things in a story I read online once." A story which my powers are totally based on, but mentioning that would make me sound crazy even by Earth Bet standards. "They, like, ate metal and stuff, with rust being really bad for them or something... And not like 'potato chips are bad for you' bad, but like 'please don't drink the anti-freeze' bad. I think? Eh. I don't know, it's been a while. I just remember they needed the metals needed to be like, really pure or magical or…"
Wait.
Wrought-grade metals.
As in the kind of metals you need when doing enchanting.
"Arrrg…" I groan, flopping backwards on the bed, "I am made entirely of The Dumb."
"Ummm?" Taylor leans over the bed, her concern and confusion both so great that some of each actually makes it to her facial expression.
"Remember those Brute rings I never ended up being able to make?"
"Yeah." Taylor nods, confusion fading.
"I just figured out why."
"And thats… bad?"
"I mean… knowing is half the battle and all, but I need… uh…"
Fudgetical sticks.
How did Erick make those metals again? Something about his rainbow [Ward]?
Yeah! Any metals he [Duplicate]'d inside the rainbow came out magical because… reasons?
Hmmm… not sure if they ever actually explained that? I vaguely remember it being because of the 'thou shalt be at rest' bit, and had something to do with how running [Meditate] involves opening yourself to the mana or whatever so the metal created in that state-
Wait.
Oh no.
Wasn't duplicate one of those funky unlisted registrar-only spells? I remember there being a whole thing where he had to learn it from Albus Dragondore and… something about busted teacups?
I call up my Status and do a search just in case I'm wrong, but sure enough… there's no [Duplicate] listed.
"Jane..?" Taylor pokes me and I realize I just started growling angrily at what, to her, looks like empty air. "Are you sure you're okay?"
"No!" Crossing my arms over my shoulder, I huff sulkily. "I can't-"
Wait.
"I mean, technically I guess I can… I'm just annoyed that treating the metal properly is going to need…" I start counting off the powers I'm missing on my fingers: [Lightshape], [Shadowshape], [Fireshape], [Watershape], and [Airshape], to combine with [Stoneshape], which I've had for, like, ever and still haven't gotten to level 10. Then! Then, after I get all of those and [Ward] to 10, I need to combine them right, get [Mend] to 10 and then finally figure out how the F-
Waitaminute!
My counting becomes a fingersnap as I remember that no, Erick's way of doing it was weird even by native Veirdian standards. The natives, most of whom were not Archmages that could just sing new spells into existence on a whimsical whim of DD-loving whimsy, did it… uh… some other way?
Some kind of fancy katana-style folding nonsense?
I think?
Well, that I can at least try with just [Metalshape] and a [Meditation]+[Ward] combo that grants rested status. Which cuts down the list of powers I need to: "Two!" I hold up two fingers. "Two new powers. Or possibly seven, but I think I can manage it with just two if I'm willing to be slow about it."
"Jane." Taylor's face turns mulish. "You get new powers all the time."
"Yeah but these powers are like [Teleport]!" I whine. "I can't even pick them until I have the pre-reqs fully charged."
"So that's what? Three weeks?"
"Eh." I waggle my hand in a so-so gesture. "Maybe half that? I already have the pre-reqs, I just haven't been-"
"Jane." My cousin huffs at me. My cousin who, as I suddenly recall, doesn't get new powers at all, ever. Well, not unless you count going-Khepri after letting Amy stick a finger in her brain, which I feel like shouldn't count even if it technically might.
"Right…" I nod. "Shutting up now."Last edited: Oct 30, 2025 Like ReplyReport Reactions:SomeoneBlue, veneratte, Degenerative Wilson and 49 othersAetheronOct 28, 2025NewAdd bookmarkView discussionThreadmarks 20 New View contentAetheronFlinger of Spaghetti, Recorder of Results.Oct 31, 2025NewAdd bookmark#56"I'm happy, feeling glad! I've got sunshine in a [Ward]!"
Another ball of sunshine appears in front of me. I take a moment to look it over and then mark another tally in the success column of my notebook before dismissing the spell.
"I'm happy, feeling glad! I've got sunshine in a [Ward]!"
Staring at the distinctly green and leafy-looking Wardlight hovering over me, I sigh.
Cogito Ergo Wardicus Splaticus.
Again.
Seriously, Brain, is it really that hard to just… not remember that the lyrically appropriate song is actually about the marajuanas?
I think.
Maybe?
Eh, whatever.
Gorilliaz don't seem to have ever been a thing on Earth Bet and regardless of whether I'm remembering the meaning of the lyrics correctly or not: Special [Ward]s before level 10 be hard, yo!
Making another tally mark in the failure column of my notebook, I dismiss the spell and-
"Jane…" My cousin calls from downstairs. "Aren't we going to the mall today?"
…!
"Be right down!" I call back, rolling out of bed and grabbing a fresh shirt off the top of the [cleanse]'d basket.
Yup. I totally need to get going right now.
Plus! I add mentally, eyeing my status, I'm, like, almost down to half my mana and yeah, The Grind may be nigh-eternal, but doing too much all at once is the direct path to an unnecessary migraine.
And I totally need that mana for teleporting us to the mall.
…Yup! That is absolutely why I'm stopping and not 'cause I am bored out of my skull already. Nosiree!
I get the shirt over my head and one arm into its sleeve before looking down and realizing that, in my haste to escape, I never actually took my pajama top off.
Hmmm… looking further down, I have to admit that pants would probably also be a good idea.
Ugh! Why can't I just-
Actually… have I redone that experiment since hitting 10 in Blink?
Grin spreading across my face, I grab a pair of jeans and then turn to face the mirror.
Deep breath in!
Be the me that already bothered to get dressed today!
Deep breath out!
[Blink]
The world flickers midnight blue as I blip in place without really moving.
And then I'm back to standing there, staring at myself in the mirror.
Only now, the reflection staring back at me is wearing the jeans and tee-shirt combo I hastily picked out a moment ago.
I'm also high fiving that reflection, which is a little odd but given the two blue boxes hovering off to the side of my vision, I'll allow it.
Special Quest Complete!
You have remade a Basic Spell.
Since you do not already have Clothe, here you go:
Clothe 1, instant, touch, 25 mana.
Touch a garment you have worn and wear it again. Maximum transferring range of 10m.
"Wooo!"
I resist the urge to cackle before remembering there's no one else in the house except for me and my cousin.
"Ahahaahaaa!" I throw my hands in the air and do zoomies in a tight circle as I indulge my not-so-inner mad scientist. "Magical Girl Transformation Sequence get!"
Is the spell basically a vain and useless waste of mana outside of a couple super niche scenarios? Yes.
Do I care? No!
Free spell!
Free spell!
Not to mention all the XP that'll eventually come from leveling it up.
"Are you okay up there?" My cousin calls up the stairs.
Pausing what, to her, probably sounds like my herd of elephants impression, I skip over to the door and wrench it open. "Yeah!" I yell back. "I found a new trick that I… hang on a moment, you need to see it."
Spinning around I grab my-
Err… wait…
Walking around the room, I check the bed, the floor, and all the usual places I might absentmindedly toss a shirt while getting dressed.
…Where'd my pajama top go?
"Oh… kay… the mall is crowded today." I state the obvious while once more lamenting the loss of my ability to see over people. "It's a good thing Aisha wanted to meet up so early cause finding her is going to be hard in all of…" I wave my hand at the packed mall. "This"
Especially without being able to 'Marco/Polo' via cellphone.
"Yup!" A voice that isn't Taylor's agrees from right next to my ear.
I most certainly do not startle so badly that I screech like the little girl I now am, whirling around to… glare at Aisha?
"Yo!" Said gremlin grins at me.
Welp, I guess that solves that. We found Aisha. Or Aisha found us rather.
…Mere moments after Taylor and I left the bathroom we teleported into to get to the mall.
On the one hand, the mall bathroom is probably the place that's most likely to happen. Even I need to go potty once a week or so and I'm a magical girl.
On the other hand– I squint suspiciously at her– if my Social QWorker dropped me off in some kind of Tinker-of-Fictionesque AU… how sure I can I be that she doesn't have her powers already?
Could she have been with us at the house the whole time?
Did I teleport her here with us and now just can't remember?
…Is she why I can't find my favorite pajama top?
Wait, no, I'm a duh. I'm not missing a whole ass passenger's worth of mana randomly.
I have however apparently stared at her suspiciously for long enough that it's getting awkward.
Welp! When in doubt… distraction attack!
"Squish!" Lunging forward, I glomp onto her before she notices my faux pas. Or at least before she has a chance to comment on it.
"Stop calling me fat!" Aisha grumps, wedging a hand between her face and mine as she tries– and only mostly fails– to stop me from turning my hug into a koala bear impression, complete with smooshing my cheek against hers.
Unfortunately, Gravity has no respect for proper glompings and Aisha completely fails to remain upright as I lock my legs around her waist.
"I'm not calling you the f-word!" I laugh, half at the absurdity of the situation and half at how hard Taylor is broadcasting a feeling of 'If anyone asks, I don't know you' over [Telepathy], while Aisha and I topple over sideways–
Fell for 7 HP damage!
Crushed for 5 HP damage!
–and sprawl out on the floor. "Bad at piggyback rides, maybe." I add, before finally letting go as she starts trying to wiggle free. "But not…" I clear my throat loudly. "Not that."
"Bad at–" Aisha grumbles as she climbs back to her feet. "Okay then! Let's see you do any better."
Rolling my eyes as I kip back up to my feet as well, I make a point of eying her up and down once, nodding firmly, and then loudly announcing, "challenge accepted!"
Then I grab her under her arms and try to just pick her up like I would an unruly toddler.
Hmmm… Despite having the equivalent strength of a 19 year old CIA field agent crammed into a 12 year old's body, lifting her is actually kinda hard.
"See?" Aisha sticks her tongue out.
Not about to tolerate any kind of body image issue nonsense from a friend of mine, never mind one who is drop dead gorgeous, I opt to forgo explaining that it's just my complete and utter lack of lifting technique that's making it awkward cause of how close we are in mass and instead dump 3 of my spare points into strength before I can talk myself out of it. Again.
Besides, as much as I agreed with Al's wisdom on my Scion of Focus being the obviously correct choice, being a glass cannon on Earth Bet seems far too risky for my liking. And if I need to get Strength to 25 for Scion of Balance anyway... Why not start now?
Well, look at me being a proper member of the Hebert clan and backdating the logical reasoning for my emotional decision making.
"You…Gah!" She starts to say something before cutting herself off as I– Having moved myself a few points over on the bell curve from 'a bit above average for an adult male' to 'I pick things up and put them down a lot, if not quite professionally'– step in and then heave her upwards with enough of a twist that she spins about 180 degrees before running out of momentum.
Grabbing her by the hips, I half duck under her and half lift her onto my shoulders, doing my best to ignore the way Aisha grabs my head in a deathgrip to stop herself from swaying.
"You are not fat." I repeat, marching forward into the mall before feeling Taylor's amusement reminds me that I've forgotten something– Or, well, someone.
The moment I spin back around toward my cousin though, any embarrassment I may or may not have been feeling over that vanishes as inspiration strikes.
"Squish!" I state in my best 'this is cereal' tone, while doing my best to look up at her without either pushing her off my shoulders or letting my tween-brain acknowledge that in doing so I'm effectively rubbing my head between her namesakes.
"...J- " Aisha starts to huff, her face looking like she can't decide if she's amused or annoyed, as she likewise tries to lean forward and look down at me without toppling us over again. Then, as she cuts herself off, her grin wins out. "...Fish!"
Aisha stares down at me looking far too pleased with herself. Normally I'd ignore it, but she's grinning as hard as she does when she implies Kid Win and Rune are gonna pee on each other and… I don't get it?
"...What?"
"If I gotta be Squish." Aisha leans slightly to the side and looks down like she's gonna hurl, but then just blows a raspberry. "Then you're Fish."
"O… kay? I thought we'd already established that, but sure!" I shrug. "Technically, that's Captain Goldfish to you, P- Oh! I get it. Yeah, Squish and Fish are both one syllable so it sounds better if you shorten it so you can just say Squish and Fish."
Mystery solved, nod to myself before setting off into the mall once more. I'll save calling her Privates First Class Squish for another day. Some time when we have a larger captive audience for the resulting train wreck.
"Squish and Fish… Doo doo… Fish and Squish… Doo doo…" I start to improv, only to not be able to come up with anything for a next line off the top of my head.
"That's not…" Aisha's protests dissolve into laughter.
"Hey." Refusing to break stride, I take one hand off her legs to point at her. "You try making up a song on the spot and with no-"
I'm pulled from my rant by the feeling of 'I don't know you' coming from Taylor amping up to 'even if no one's asking, I want it on the record that I don't know you.'
This reminds me not only that Taylor is here with us but also that she's not being included in our banter. Which is wrong. Taylor needs all the non-hostile socialization she can get. Especially if just being near Aisha and I is still enough to make her feel embarrassed on our behalf.
But it also reminds me I'd had an idea before Aisha distracted me.
Not only that, but that very same idea I'd already had solves the socialization problem too!
"Squish." I switch from pointing at her to flailing my arm at her shoulder. "Squish. Squuuiiiishhhhh…"
"Whaaaat?"
"We." I go back to pointing at her and then swirl my finger in a circle so as to include myself as well. "Neeeeed." I stress the word so as to properly convey the importance of the situation. "A trenchcoat." Then I switch to pointing at my cousin. "So we can pretend we're one person and join the tallgirl competition."
Aisha looks over at Taylor, then at me, and then back over at Taylor. At which point it finally seems to click that while she is currently "taller," she is not really looking down at Taylor despite being on my shoulders.
Aisha's eyes meet mine once more before she starts nodding vigorously in approval. "Yes!"
That settled, I once more set off into the mall, willfully ignoring the fact that I've never been here before and have no idea where anything is.
"Hey…" Aisha murmurs quietly a few steps later, tapping my head. "...You sure you're good?"
"I'm… fine?" I frown, feeling lost, and once again having navigate the delicate art of trying to tilt my head back to look at her without knocking her off of my shoulders. "...Why wouldn't I be?"
"Cause you're carrying me?"
"Oh, for fucks sake." I cut her off, blowing a raspberry while making sure she can see me roll my eyes at her as hard as I can. "Yes, Aisha, I'm good."
And, even if my body's stat-backed tweeny resilience somehow doesn't prove up to shielding me from the consequences of my own actions come morning, I have [Treat Injury] to unfuck any bitching about it my back, knees, and/or neck might come up with.
"...Kay." A moment passes, and then I feel her hips wiggling on my shoulders as she points toward a store that has coats as part of their display piece. "Then giddy the fuck up already!"
"Neigh!" I giggle, doing my best to approximate a canter as I can while balancing Aisha on my shoulders.Last edited: Nov 9, 2025 Like ReplyReport Reactions:SomeoneBlue, veneratte, Degenerative Wilson and 50 othersAetheronOct 31, 2025NewAdd bookmarkView discussionThreadmarks 21 New View contentAetheronFlinger of Spaghetti, Recorder of Results.Nov 7, 2025NewAdd bookmark#59"How do you do, fellow tall person?" Aisha waves at the big and beefy dude-guy walking the other way.
Contrary to our slowly nosediving expectations, this guy– unlike his many, many, stick in the mud predecessors– actually has a sense of humor and, even after doing the now-standard doubletake upon noticing my face sticking out of the middle of the coat, smiles and waves back.
Then he doubletakes again and… starts walking towards us? "...Taylor!?"
His widening smile turns puzzled as I sidestep between him and my cousin, frowning at him suspiciously. "Do we know this man?"
I hear a loud sigh from behind me, Taylor nudging me aside as she waves back at the guy. "Hi, Kurt. "
"Kurt?" I start to ask before the name clicks in my mind. "Oh! Kurt as in Kurt and Lacey?"
"That's me." He agrees.
"Aha!" I nod, stepping out of the way. "In that case, you… uh…" I try to Vanna White at Taylor but can't. Hmmm… How do I… oh! "Pssst! Aisha!" I tap her leg. "You have the sleeves; I need you to point at Taylor for me. Use your whole hand, not just a finger."
Aisha obliges and, with now her gesturing 'our' arm in Taylor's general direction, I continue my spiel. "Ahem! You may now greet The Taylor." I make sure to ham up saying her name as hard as the announcer guy introducing a wrestler.
=Why are you like this?= Taylor asks, slapping a hand to her forehead and then dramatically rubbing her face in exasperation.
Kurt lets out a laugh though, bemused though it may be, so clearly I win!
"So I don't know if my dad mentioned her already, but this is my cousin Jane and her friend Aisha."
I take the time to wiggle an arm out between the buttons of our coat so that I can wave, Aisha doing the same minus the bit with the buttons since she, you know, has the sleeves in our setup.
"She's staying with us now…" Spotting something in the distance, I lose track of my cousin's expository efforts as I turn away in order to investigate.
Was that… Ruth?
Shuffling back and forth a bit while inching forward through the evershifting crowd, I try to peer through the press of people again. Sadly, whatever serendipity aligned for me to see clear across the food court just a moment ago stubbornly refuses to repeat itself.
Grumbling to myself, I send the [Scry] eye I've been using to compensate for having basically no peripheral vision at all inside this coat up and over everyone's heads to investigate. Aha! I did! I did! I did see a Ruthy-cat!
"Yo…" Aisha taps my head. "What's up? Where are we going?"
Seeing a gap opening up, dart forward. "Over there!" I point towards Ruth and her date!? "I just saw– Urk!" Three steps in, a stampede of kids– Er, that is: even smaller children, like elementary school age– come charging in from my Coat-U-V's massive blindspot to cut me off.
Lurching to a stop mid step, I barely manage to avoid plowing through them all.
Whew! That was clo–
The moment I think I'm safe, the last straggler of the herd literally bounces off of me.
"Woah!"
Taking one arm off Aisha to try and steady myself does not help. As oversized as our trenchcoat is for either one of us, it's not that big and my arms are very much trapped inside of it.
"Shit."
Aisha tries, arms frantically pinwheeling in a desperate attempt to right us, but gravity is a heartless bitch and continues pulling us toward the floor.
"Shiiit!"
In a movie or something, I can't help but feel like time would slow down or something but honestly I barely have enough time to remember that I have powers, let alone think about what I'm doing as I try to use [Stoneshape] on the rocks flattened rocks I keep in my pockets just in case.
Not, mind you, that this is what I had in mind when I stuffed them in there.
And there's even a brief moment where I think I might manage it, the rocks in my back pockets giving me something to brace against as I pit my recently reinforced abs against Gravity.
And that is when Gravity reminds me that, heartless bitch or not, she's still good frenemies with Mechanical Forces.
"Fffffuuuu…"
My left foot starts to slip, then my right, and I finally recognize that all I'm really doing is turning myself into a lever with my ass as the fulcrum.
"....uuck."
Switching direction on [Stoneshape] before I can not only out myself as a cape, but become forever known on PHO as 'that girl whose ass can float,' I do my best to make sure that Aisha stays on top of me rather than–
Fell for 23 HP damage!
Crushed for 31 HP damage!
…Ow!
On the plus side, I managed to land on the one part of me with any padding worth mentioning again.
On the downside, ow. Also again.
"How the fuck?" Aisha seems to finally register that rather than falling and maybe hitting her head, she has instead simply gone from 'on Jane's shoulders while Jane is standing,' to 'on Jane's shoulders while Jane is sitting.' "What just happened?"
Having no interest in explaining how I used magic to keep myself under her as we fell, I immediately combine two of my favorite things: Distractions and blame reallocation. "She ran into us!" I snake an arm out of the coat to point accusingly at the tiny girl that knocked us over.
Said girl, being the smallest mass involved in the whole collision-thing is still in the midst of picking herself up, but looks up at the sound of my voice.
I stare at Dinah Alcot.
Dinah Alcot stares at me.
I blink.
Dinah Alcot scrambles to her feet and bolts off after what I assume are her friends.
"…Rude!" I laugh, calling up a second [Scry] and trying not to panic.
On the one hand, nothing I've seen while periodically [Scry]-stalking her has let me prove she's even triggered yet. There is absolutely no evidence to suggest that she deliberately knocked us over because it somehow improved her odds of escaping Coil's clutches for the day.
On the other hand… one of the contenders for worlds' most powerful precog just ran into us. Literally.
And, as the saying goes, just because I'm being paranoid doesn't mean there isn't an invisible demon getting ready to eat my face.
Unfortunately, as I pan through the crowd with [Scry], I'm forced to conclude that if there are any capture teams of Coil Mercs nearby… then they are at least better at blending into crowds than I am at spotting suspicious people in those crowds.
"Alright..." I groan, pretending that I've spent the past few seconds quietly catching my breath rather than staring suspiciously at everything and everyone even vaguely near us. "How do we stand back up?"
"Uh…" Aisha pulls up the coat and wiggles herself off my shoulders. "Maybe we can try this again when the mall is less crowded?"
"Holy script." I blink. "Are you being the voice of reason?"
"Uh…"
"Who are you?" I demand as I climb to my feet, making a show of keeping my eyes on her the whole time while squinting at her in faux-suspicion. "Where's Aisha?"
"Ha fucking ha." Aisha flips me off. "We coulda been hurt or…" She frowns, looking down at the floor and then glancing around. "I still don't get how we're fine."
"Fine?" I rub the spots I landed on. "Tell that to my sore ass."
I hear what I've said the moment it leaves my mouth, but the grin is already spreading across Aisha's face. "Hello, Jane's Butt." Aisha waves, her gaze dropping down to exactly where one might expect. "Jane wants me to tell you you're fine. "
Okay, that wasn't nearly as bad as she usually–
I sigh as Aisha makes a show of putting her hands on her hips and bending down to get a closer look at my butt while nodding seriously. "But I want you to know that I think you're more than just fine."
"Well… you're certainly incorrigible enough to be Aisha." I acknowledge, torn between laughter and pinching the bridge of my nose as I resume my trek through the crowd. "Not that I have any room to judge from my very glass house."
"...Incora-what-now?"
"Incorigible. It's… uh… You know, I'm not sure I know the actual definition, but it's like untameable or untrainable but with a more flirty connotation."
"Connatayshun? What's wrong with normal words, Jane?"
"Oh come on!" I flail my arms in protest."You of all people have to know that one."
"Excuse you?"
"It means the, like, the way that two sets of words that should mean the same thing sometimes don't because of how and when they're usually used. Like… how… um…" I struggle for a moment to think of an example that won't set her off again before deciding to just go for broke. "Like how 'Forgive me Father for I have sinned' and 'Sorry, Daddy. I've been naughty!' are very different statements."
"Oh… Okay." Aisha nods. "But, like, what if I'm not sorry?"
"Then you're incorrigible!" I grin back at her. "And we should go find Ruth."
"...Ruth?"
"Yeah, pretending to flirt is way funnier when she's around to make those scandalized faces at us."
"Ohhh…" Aisha giggles. "Yeah. The one that makes her look constipated?"
"Exactly!" I agree wholeheartedly. "I thought I saw her over...." I start to explain, pointing across the foodcourt as I switch focus back to the [Scry] eye I found her with. Oh, whoops! I'm way off course. Reorienting more than a bit to the right, I point her out. "Over there."
"Wait." Aisha groans as she looks over. "You weren't joking?"
"I'm always joking!"
"Yeah, but like, I meant about finding Ruth of all fucking people."
"Oh, yeah, no, she's right over there." I point her out again unnecessarily.
"Yay…" Aisha drawls out as unenthusiastically as possible. "So what?"
"So…" I drawl right back at her. "She's with a boy."
"No… Jane, no..." Aisha groans, trying to stop me from resuming my march across the food court.
"Jane, yes!" I counter, slowly picking up speed as I reach one of the aisles between the tables. "She's our friend. We're like… obligated… to fuck with her."
"Jane." Aisha grabs my shoulder and tries to pull me to a stop. "Ruth's a racist bitch. We ain't friends."
"Oh, I know!" I concede the point while trying to figure out how best to get around a gaggle of old people that are all walking at like no miles per hour.
Gah! Seriously, people! One foot in front of the other! It's not hard!
"Then why the fuck are you still heading towards them!?"
"I'm sorry." I pause, glancing back at her. "You think our friendship being a lie is going to make us crashing her date less embarrassing for her?"
Aisha's mouth opens.
Aisha's mouth closes.
Aisha's hand on my shoulder stops trying to hold me back and starts pushing me forward. "Ruuuth!"
Ruth starts to look around for a moment before zeroing in on the pair of us inbound towards her.
"Ruuuuuuuuth!" I echo Aisha's shout, the pair of us waving at her, and at the boy she's with, like particularly enthusiastic loons.
Ruth makes a totally unwarranted 'why me?' face at us before eventually responding as we come to a stop a few feet away. "...Hi, Jane." She eventually says, today apparently being a 'pretend Aisha doesn't exist' day.
Normally I'd try and force her to acknowledge Aisha in some way, but instead I opt for glancing back and forth between her and her date, waiting a .3 whole seconds (approximately) for her to introduce him before doing it myself by holding out my hand. "Hi, Boyfriend-Ruth's-Never-Mentioned-Having! I'm Jane! Jane Flatt."
Looking a little embarrassed, a lot-tle confused, and yet also like he's trying not to laugh, the boy takes my hand and gives it a firm shake. "Hi, Jane. I'm Theo. Theo Anders."
…Fuck.Last edited: Nov 8, 2025 Like ReplyReport Reactions:SomeoneBlue, veneratte, JJLPH20 and 51 othersAetheronNov 7, 2025NewAdd bookmarkView discussionThreadmarks 22 New View contentAetheronFlinger of Spaghetti, Recorder of Results.Nov 18, 2025NewAdd bookmark#62And... suddenly this isn't funny any more.
=Taylor…= I whine into my cousin's head, keeping my smile fixed firmly in place as I continue shaking Theo's hand up and down. =I think I fucked up.=
I mean, sure Theo's cool, but if any of the other members of his family are around? I do not want to be responsible for bringing Aisha's existence to Kaiser's attention.
And… fudge-ical sticks! I can't even warn Aisha that we need to exit stage left without being obvious about it.
=Oh, really?= Taylor responds dryly. =You mean when you abandoned me!?"
The sense of amusement she sends alongside her response makes it clear she's mostly joking. But only mostly, and I'm reminded that this is the girl who was legitimately grumpled with me when I didn't bring her with me into fisticuffs range of a Gorilla.
Realizing my smile has gotten a touch forced as I come to grips with my cousin's… subscriptions… I drop it in favor of a low whistle. "Daaaammmmn…." I continue pumping Theo's hand up and down mechanically a few times while turning to stare at Ruth. "You don't aim low, do you?"
Distraction-grenade successfully yeeted into Ruth's lap, I let go of Theo's hand before it becomes awkward– Well, more awkward, anyway– and start scanning for threats for the second time today.
=No, Aisha abandoned you.= I joke back in 'protest' as I spin my Scry orbs around in a circle to try and look at everyone nearby. =I had faith in your power's ability to keep track of me.=
Okay, good news! Unlike the far more nebulously defined 'plainclothes Coil merc,' I can at least be reasonably certain that neither Max nor Kayden Anders are looming anywhere near by.
On which note, I take a moment to thank whichever god or goddess has dominion over tv news broadcasts for making sure I know what they look like out of costume.
And while I'm at it, I amend as Taylor answers with a wordless blast of doubt– =Rude!= –if whichever of you has dominion over Acne and the like happens to be listening, I'd appreciate it if you could just go ahead and piss all over Emma Barne's Cheerios for me. Because fuck her in particular. Thanks! Amen? Um… Bye?
"It ain't like that!" Ruth's growl pulls my focus back to my immediate surroundings, saving me from the realization that actually I have no idea how to end a prayer where there's technically at least a chance that something might be listening on the other end.
Wait, why does she look, like, super mad rather than embarass- Oh, script, I basically just called her a gold digger, didn't I? Whoops! Ah, well, I guess that explains why Aisha's laughing too hard to introduce herself. Win some. Lose some.
"Uh huh…" I give Ruth my most sarcastic 'I totally believe you' face as I start to course correct.
I do my best to just shove the idea that Ruth might have, like, actual gang ties and that I need to focus but also that I may need help with an exit plan at Taylor as fast as I can, hoping that if nothing else maybe QA can help her unpack it all or something.
"So..." I return to managing the situation. "You're saying you haven't been hiding a secret-boyfriend," I gesture at a slowly pinkening Theo, "from your best friends!?"
"Best-" Ruth blinks, splutters, and then… unfortunately rallies, jabbing a finger accusingly at Aisha. "I AM NOT FRIENDS WITH THAT!"
Oh for fucks sake… Even after being slapped in the face with the fact that she might be more than just a groupie, I still forgot to account for the racist nonsense part of dealing with Ruth.
Gods, that is such a stupid… Urrrg!
Woo... Sah… I just need to make sure that Aisha ends up a footnote at most in any stories Theo accidentally lets slip at the dinner table.
"Wow." Plastering a look of shocked befuddlement onto my face, I glance over at Aisha. "You were right, she really is, like, a whole 'nother person in public."
Aisha, for her part, doesn't miss a beat. "I told you." Her acting could use a little work; the helpless shrug was good, but there's a hint of malicious grin lurking in her expression that undercuts the look of innocent confusion on her face.
Not that Theo notices, given the speculative side eye he's shooting Ruth. Sorry dude, she's not actually a better person deep down or anything.
…Meh. He looks confused enough that he has to know what she's really like. It's probably fine.
I open my mouth, but Aisha beats me to the punch. "She's not usually that bad though." She manages to sound genuinely confused even as she lies through her teeth. "Do you think she's still mad about the song?"
"…Song?" Theo, bless his innocent heart, actually asks before Ruth can do more than inhale sharply.
"Oh yeah!" I agree quickly, blatantly dialing up the enthusiasm a notch before Aisha can call any more attention to herself. "They help me work out song lyrics for Rune in this thing I'm writing."
"No!" Ruth starts stomping towards me as I point briefly at Aisha before shirting my finger to point squarely at Ruth.
"But sometimes Ruth gets all weird about it. Like this one time…"
"Don't you dare!" Finger still pointing at her, I skip backwards just as Ruth lunges for me while making a strangling motion.
"He was a boy. She was a girl." I belt out, taking advantage of Ruth's momentary confusion as the words coming out my mouth aren't that Katy Perry song to dodge past her and put Theo between us. Sorry, Aisha, it was well set up, but I need today to be super awkward for Theo too. Enough so that he never wants to talk about any of this ever again, least of all to his dad. "Can I make it any more obvious?"
"He was a punk." I grab Theo lightly by the shoulders and use him as a human shield. "She did ballet. What more can I say?"
"He wanted her, and she'd never tell–" I lean around Theo to grin at Ruth. "–but secretly she wanted him as well!"
Ruth's ears are getting brighter and brighter pink, but she apparently decides to stop trying to wrestle the proverbial pig in the mud since she gives up on trying to get to me and just glares. "I told you, it ain't like that."
"Really?" Letting go of Theo, I step to the side a bit so I can properly glance back and forth at the pair of them as I willfully misinterpret her statement. "Hmmm… yeah, I see what you mean." I nod 'sagely' while gesturing at Theo's collared polo and dress pants. "He's not really a punk, is he?" I add, before Theo can look too hurt by my comment, presumably thinking I'm commenting on his… I don't know, his slightly pudgy build, maybe?
Then I turn back towards Ruth, and make an 'aha!' face as I eye her bright red hoodie-garbed self.. "She was a punk? He did ballet? What more can I… Oh no!"
Actually thinking about the song I'm singing was a mistake.
'She said see you later, boy' means the rest of the song agrees with Ruth! Which is a terrible precedent and now the only way out is-
"Oh no…"
With mounting horror, I recall what the rest of Skater Boi was actually about. Screw 'the only way out is through!' Reverse! Reverse!
"I'm sorry!" Spinning Theo around to face me, I look him in the eyes and continue to apologize. "I only just now remembered that song is basically Avril going 'neener neener, mine now!' at her boyfriend's almost-ex and I'm, like, super duper sorry if I accidentally gave you the impression I was hitting on you. Leading people on is wrong and I'm only, like, twelve and that's way too young for stuff like…" I ham the everloving script out of a 'trying not puke' face. "...flirting."
Theo blinks at me, either not having any idea how to handle a distraught girl clinging to his shirt or unsure what to do in the face of so much ham.
"Bitch, are you serious?" Ruth interrupts, looking kinda mad again when I glance over at her.
And now it's my turn to blink in confusion because for once I don't think I actually insulted– or even mentioned– her at all just now. "...What?"
"I'm twelve too, dipshit!"
"...you are?" I frown, letting go of Theo to squint at her.
"Yes!"
"Are you sur–" I cut myself off, shaking my head and taking a step back. "Stupid question." I acknowledge, opting to just roll with it. "In my defense, you people all kinda look the same to me so…" I shrug. "It can be kinda hard to tell."
Ruth looks at me. She starts to open her mouth, but then shakes her head and closes it.
A wise decision that goes to entirely waste since Theo and Aisha both ask the obvious question anyway, almost in unison even, albeit in very different tones of voice. "...You people?"
"Yeah, you know…" Ignoring Aisha's anticipatory amusement in favor of Theo's genuine seeming confusion, I lay my hand flat on the top of my head. "Tall folk?" I slide my hand forward, letting it 'slip' down along the way a bit so that I end up poking Theo's sternum. Not that the exaggeration is entirely necessary, Theo's almost as tall as Taylor. "All I can really see from down here is the insides of your noses." I shrug helplessly.
As I let my hand and shoulders drop, I realize Ruth handed me a perfect opportunity to make everything worse and I almost missed it!
"But!" I add quickly, before anyone else can say anything and ruin the flow. "More seriously." I turn back to Theo, so that I can do one of the 45 degree Japanese apology-bow things. I'm probably getting it egregiously wrong somehow, but I doubt Theo or Ruth know the actual rules to it either so whatever. "Mister Anders, I sincerely apologize for implying, accidentally or not, that you're a pedophile."
"Fucking… This!" I realize I lost track of Ruth when she jabs a finger at my face as I'm straightening up from my bow, damn near poking my eye out. Fortunately, this seems to be because she's looking at Theo while she flails in my general direction rather than a Taylor-level escalation in hostilities. "This is what I was talking about! And I have to deal with her all fucking day at school."
"Hey now." I protest, leaning back. "We only have, like, two class…es…" I trail off, grinning as I realize what she's just admitted to. "You... you talk about me with your friends!?"
On the one hand, her maybe having actual gang ties makes that vaguely worrisome.
On the other hand, 'today, Jane was Jane… again' makes any story Theo tells later way less interesting.
"More like I warn people tha-urk!" Ruth cuts off as I see an opportunity to exit stage left gracefully and grab it for all its worth, stepping forward and making sure to trap her arms under mine as I wrap her up in a bear hug.
'Eeeeeee!' I do my best tween girl squeal as I lift Ruth off the ground and twirl her around, making sure to spin more than a full circle so that when I drop her she's no longer between Aisha and I.
Then, before Ruth can recover her balance, I make my escape by promptly skipping over to Aisha where I repeat the process except for replacing the squeal with a delighted shout. "I come with a warning label!"
"No shit." Aisha laughs as I set her down far more gently than Ruth, but also a few totally-just-momentum's-fault feet further away from Theo and Ruth than she started. "Of course you do."
"Anyway!" I wave goodbye, having finally reached a conversational point where us leaving isn't weird or suspicious. Or at least I hope it isn't. "This was fun but we need to get going if we're gonna to make it to the Ward's event."
"Wait." Ruth laughs dismissively. "You're actually going to that fucking thing?"
"Yup!" I agree, throwing my other arm around Aisha's shoulders and trying to nudge her into motion.
"Have fun meeting the… Heroes" Ruth makes a weird face, her attempt at what I assume, given her own leanings, was supposed to be disdainful sarcasm going kind of flat.
"Naw." I shake my head, trying not to re-engage this close to escaping despite my irritation. "That costs, like, money money. We–" I gesture at Aisha and myself. "-are just gonna go and watch to see if anything funny happens. Which, like I said, us shorties should really get to doing if we want to get there early enough to find somewhere to stand where we can actually see anything from."
Waving again, I pull Aisha with me as I about face and set off back out of the food court, only calling out a quick "bye!" over my shoulder once we're actively walking away.
"The fuck was that?" Aisha elbows me a moment later. "You kept shutting me out."
"Yeah." I hiss, as quietly as I can and still be heard over the general din of the mall. "Cause Theo's dad is, like–"
"Yo!" I hear Ruth yell from behind us, a quick swivel of my [Scry] eye showing her and Theo following after us. "Wait up!"
Taking a deep breath and shooting Aisha a look, I slowly turn around. "What?"
"Theo's buying us all tickets." Ruth says, pointing at him with a thumb as they catch up to us.
"...What?" I blink. "Why?"
"You seriously think I'm passing up a chance to see you be you at the Wards?"
Well… script.