The bustling marketplace was alive with people coming and going, vendors shouting at the top of their lungs to hawk their wares. This was the heart of the Re-Estize Kingdom's capital market, and even at midday, merchants and pedestrians packed the place, buzzing with energy.
EeDechi and Barrett threaded through the crowd, ignoring the loudmouths who practically yelled right in customers' ears.
This was one of the bigger markets around, and it'd be a waste to just pick up ordinary food and drink. Barrett wanted something special, though he hadn't decided what yet.
Squeezing past a group clustered around a fried fish stall, Barrett reached the area for traveling merchants. In this world where travel was tough, these merchants wove thin threads between kingdoms, tribes, and towns, letting coins and goods trickle along like droplets, linking isolated pockets.
Compared to the noisy small-time vendors next door, the traveling merchants were quieter—maybe the hardships of the road had worn out their shouting voices, or perhaps the dust of worldly journeys had given them a layer of proud reserve.
Come to think of it, traveling merchants were a bit like adventurers: both chased after gold, wandered without roots, and called the world home. But merchants battled with cargo and grueling treks, while adventurers fought with blades, spells, and monsters.
In the lively market, EeDechi craned her neck, peering left and right, searching for who knows what.
Barrett kept sharing tips on shopping and spotting fakes, but she just nodded with absent "uh-huhs," and he doubted she'd heard a word.
"What are you looking for?" Barrett couldn't help asking.
"Do you know where there's a brothel?" EeDechi's question left Barrett stunned.
"What do you want with a brothel?" Barrett asked, half-laughing, half-exasperated. Then it hit him. "Wait, you want to... go crackdown on prostitution again!"
Those awful memories from Baharuth flooded back: EeDechi charging into the brothel, swinging her giant sword in wild arcs, pummeling guards, slaying nobles, herding naked prostitutes and johns out to huddle in a row in the cold wind, and finally torching the whole place, landing both her and Barrett on the wanted list.
That wasn't all; she also rescued two twin girls from the brothel, forcibly adding two deadweights to the adventurer party, and it wasn't until just recently that they finally managed to ditch those two girls.
"Do you know where the brothel is? You're so worldly, you must know!" EeDechi widened her big, doe eyes, for the first time looking up at Barrett with a longing gaze, like a little girl begging her dad to buy her ice cream.
Barrett's heart skipped a beat, almost softening him up, but he immediately refused. "I don't know! I know nothing! I've never been to places like that in the Re-Estize's capital."
"Really?" EeDechi's gaze turned skeptical, her eyes narrowing.
"Of course it's true." Barrett crossed his arms, his gaze wandering.
Of course it was a lie—Barrett knew the local sex trade like the back of his hand. When his pockets were jingling with gold coins, he went to high-end brothels backed by noble interests, getting his ass licked by a 25-year-old woman while pounding a 19-year-old beauty.
When he only had a few silver coins in his pocket, he headed to dingy back alleys, picking out a middle-aged woman slathered in thick makeup, flipping over the hourglass on the table, and screwing her on a bed padded with straw. Often, because he hadn't come before the sand ran out, the woman would demand extra cash.
"Hey, you two friends looking for a spot to have some fun? I know plenty of good places." A flippant but enthusiastic voice butted in.
Barrett glanced over sideways and saw a man with a long leaf clamped in his mouth, grinning as he sidled up.
He knew right away what this guy was—a pimp who pulled in customers for brothels.
From their accents, the pimp could tell they were out-of-towners, and his getup was classic adventurer style.
Thanks to his recent spike in income, he looked in good spirits, with fresh clothes and gear, plus that weathered, mature face—to the experienced hustlers in this shady scene, he was the perfect mark with big spending urges and the means to back it up.
Adventurers lived on the knife's edge, battling beasts and monsters, fighting between life and death, and when they hit the jackpot, they were quick to blow it on pleasures. As the saying goes, the worst thing in life is kicking the bucket with money still in your pocket!
And EeDechi? First off, she wasn't a man, and as long as you weren't blind, her outfit made it clear she was no brothel customer.
The pimp winked at Barrett with a "we're all guys here, I get you" look and said, "Come on, friend, I'll lead the way. Guaranteed top-notch quality—prettier than elves! And fair prices—cheaper than indulgences!"
"What do you take me for? I never go to brothels!" Barrett put on a stern face, declaring righteously.
EeDechi grabbed Barrett's wrist, shaking his arm. "Come on, Barrett, take me to the brothel."
"No way! I've turned over a new leaf! Reformed my ways!" Barrett tried to wrench free of EeDechi's grip.
"Wow, now that's a sight," the pimp said in surprise. "Your lady companion's urging you to go to a brothel, and you're refusing?!"
His eyes darted around, then lit up with realization. "Oh, I get it—you're not... you know, functional down there, are you? I hear some adventurers get hit with poison by accident or bitten by some beast, and they lose that ability."
He bent down, staring at Barrett's crotch with regret. "It can't be true, can it?"
"Hmph, your taunting won't work. My junk's in prime shape—guaranteed to make your mom scream with pleasure." Barrett snorted coldly, unmoved.
"Don't insult someone's mother!" EeDechi glared at him sternly.
The pimp didn't get mad at all; he kept grinning and said, "Well, you're too late—if you'd come five years ago, my mom was still turning tricks."
"Hey, Barrett!" Another voice rang out in the bustling market.
OH NO! Barrett recognized it right away as Old Tony.
Old Tony cast a simple displacement spell and quickly appeared at Barrett and EeDechi's side.
"What are you two planning to buy? Some shops around here give extra discounts if you drop my name," Old Tony said kindly.
"I want Barrett to take me to a brothel," EeDechi said.
"OOOH~~~" Old Tony's mouth formed an O, drawing out the sound in a long, emphatic exclamation. "Barrett, you've struck gold! What a thoughtful companion! What an understanding partner!"
He slapped his thigh in frustration. "If my wife was half as good as your captain, I'd live at least ten more years! Why don't I have your kind of luck?!"
I really wish I could give you this "luck"... Barrett covered his face and sighed.
"But this gentleman doesn't want to go to the brothel," the pimp, who loved stirring up trouble, butted in from the side.
"Huh?" Old Tony looked Barrett up and down, frowning. "That 'big boy' you showed me last time—is it just for show, all looks and no action?"
Barrett's heart jolted. Turning down the pimp's hustle was no big deal, but if Old Tony got the wrong idea, it wouldn't be long before rumors of him being "impotent down there" spread through the adventurer circles, becoming common tavern gossip.
The nicknames he'd finally shaken off—"Imperial Chief Eunuch" and "Buff Eunuch"—would stick to him again like shit.
You guys are forcing my hand! Barrett said, "I just thought the brothel he was pushing was too low-class, not up to my standards, so I wasn't planning to go."
"Hey! I haven't even said which brothel yet? Ours has half-elves!" the pimp said indignantly.
"Now I've changed my mind." Barrett clenched his fist, staring at the pimp. "Take me to the brothel for some fun."
"Now that's more like a man." The pimp grinned, hailing a passing open carriage.
"A spear rusts if you don't use it for too long. Have fun in the capital." Old Tony winked at Barrett, then left.
The three of them climbed into the carriage, rumbling over the cobblestone road toward a place called "Dream of True Love."
Along the way, the pimp boasted about the perks of whoring:
"I've got this friend, a knight's squire, who dreamed every day of becoming a knight, so he bound himself with all these codes—no whoring, no drinking, no gambling. He got head over heels for a merchant's daughter, chasing her like crazy, showering her with love, only to get played like a dog by that stinking bitch.
"Later, I took him to a brothel once, showed him that the money he spent on gifts for that bitch could've gotten him two women even prettier than her, at the same time. After that, he stopped wasting cash on that stinking bitch. You get it? It stripped away the illusion about women!"
"The Slane Theocracy used to ban prostitution too, you know the real reason why? The root cause is that the church wants to monopolize sexual resources, that way they keep all the men tied down in families, making it easier to rule. Those bishops put on a straight-laced act, preaching against indulgence, but behind the scenes, they secretly mess with little boys, even female elves.
"You know why those bishops and priests, who aren't even gay, like messing with little boys? Because they're so sexually repressed. If they could just sleep with women normally, they wouldn't lay a hand on innocent little boys."
Along the way, Barrett didn't say a word, and EeDechi sat in her seat with arms crossed, eyes closed in thought. Finally, they were almost at the "Dream of True Love" brothel, located on the outskirts of the city, a bit remote.
"That's it up ahead." The pimp stretched out his hand, pointing to a courtyard with a colorful sign. "Driver, pull over by that sycamore tree in a bit."
EeDechi, who had been pretending to doze in her seat, suddenly opened her eyes, two sharp gleams shooting out!
Without hesitation, she jumped off the still-moving carriage, striding boldly toward the brothel, excited like a cat smelling fish. "HAHAHA! BROTHEL! HERE I COME!"
The pimp sat in the carriage, shocked: "Does she like women?"
"NO!" Barrett covered his face. "She just likes crackdown on prostitution."
Then they saw EeDechi charging into the brothel, giant sword swinging, followed by the clash of metal, curses, doors being kicked in, screams, shouts, roars, one after another.
A guard in heavy armor flew up from the ground, landing on the third-floor balcony, dangling over the railing.
A naked fat man flew out of a second-floor window, shattering the glass, and "thud" landed on the first floor.
One after another, naked men and women fled their rooms in terror, scurrying through the corridors like headless chickens.
"ALL OF YOU FACE THE WALL, HANDS ON HEADS, SQUAT DOWN! IN A LINE! NO MOVING! WHOEVER MOVES GETS BEATEN!" EeDechi's roar was still crystal clear outside the brothel.
The pimp and the driver were dumbfounded.
"This is fucking robbery! I gotta report this to the sheriff quick!" The pimp was about to jump off the carriage.
Barrett reached out and grabbed his arm, yanking him back, then covered his mouth as he tried to yell, hugging him and jumping off the carriage.
Barrett tossed over ten gold coins onto the carriage, saying to the still-shocked driver, "This has nothing to do with you, you saw nothing, got it?!"
The driver snapped out of it, spotted those shiny gold coins, and grinned. "Yes, sir, I saw nothing!" Then he drove the carriage away.
Barrett dragged the pimp to the nearby grass, pulled out a rope to tie him up tight, and stuffed a rag in his mouth.
Things had come to this; he had no choice but to play robber for once. Barrett took off his multi-pocketed adventurer jacket, pulled a black cloth from his ring of holding, covered the lower half of his face, then drew his longsword and charged toward the brothel door.
"Nobody move! Hand over the money and no one gets hurt!"