Disclaimer: I own nothing, this is purely a fanfic for enjoyment.
Cross-over from various games, books, anime, manga, and movies.
The familiar characters you see here belong to their respected authors and owners.
"Speech"
Time*
Chapter 93: The Monster Eater
Hours later*
I held up a golden coin, turning it slightly between my fingers. One side bore the engraving of a king's crown, while the other displayed the symbol of the Black Emperor Pathway. The Black Emperor's Uniqueness was now mine, and somehow, I'd managed to get fucked over once again. After all, possessing this thing meant that becoming the Above the Sequence, The Anarchy, was now technically something I needed to avoid. Just my fucking luck.
I flicked the golden coin into the air and casually snatched it back as it fell. With a thought, I changed its form into an expensive golden wristwatch, its face bearing the Black Emperor Pathway's symbol. Satisfied with its new appearance, I fastened it around my left wrist, where it rested comfortably without drawing too much attention.
Ah, who am I kidding? Of course this thing is going to draw a lot of attention. It's a freaking golden wristwatch, for crying out loud.
I glanced down at the damn thing on my wrist, watching its polished surface gleam under the light.
Yeah, something this flashy is no way going unnoticed.
The next day*
"Come one, come all! Come along and get your special fishing baits!" I shouted at the top of my lungs, waving a sealed package for everyone to see. The packaging featured a cartoonish worm with goofy eyes and a bright, cheerful smile. "Your family, your friends, and even their friends will be jealous of you for having these fishing baits! I mean, just look at the faces on these worms! Ain't they great?!"
With an enthusiastic grin, I tossed one of the worm-bait packages toward a random stranger in the crowd. At that very moment, I activated the Black Emperor Pathway's Bribe ability, subtly influencing everyone within its range. A powerful sense of fondness toward me began spreading through the crowd, making it increasingly difficult for anyone affected to harbor animosity, much less entertain the thought of picking a fight with me.
"And for today's big deal, buy 2 and get a 10% discount on the third one!" I continued enthusiastically as the crowd began showing genuine interest, especially the stranger holding the worm-bait package I'd tossed earlier. A few people even started reaching for their wallets. "But wait, there's more! This is a limited-time sale, available today only! And we've got limited stock, too! Once these babies are sold out, there won't be any more to buy! So get yours while you still can!" I shouted, waving another package above my head so everyone could see those ridiculous, smiling worms.
In no time, I sold everything and walked away $500 richer in cash. Not bad for a day's work, considering all I'd done was dig up some worms this morning and make better containers to package them in. Talk about easy money.
Of course, I'd only bothered setting up shop for today because of the next canon event in Gravity Falls: The Legend of the Gobblewonker. With fishing season underway, practically everyone in Gravity Falls would be heading to Lake Gravity Falls, making it the perfect opportunity to sell my bait.
Unfortunately, that was also the very same lake where the Flying Dutchman was currently located. Thankfully, I'd already performed a concealment ritual to hide the ship from detection and prevent anyone from approaching it. The last thing I needed was some curious fisherman stumbling across a ghost ship while trying to catch dinner.
I walked off to the side, pretending not to notice Alucard building a massive sandcastle around herself as a means of protection from the water. I also made a point of ignoring how she was now watching everyone from inside her sandy fortress, looking ready to bite anyone who dared venture too close. Honestly, the damn thing was getting big enough to qualify as a miniature fortress.
Meanwhile, Momoyo was lounging comfortably on a beach chair in her black bikini, with a large umbrella nearby providing some much-needed shade. She casually sipped coconut water straight from a coconut through a straw, complete with a tiny decorative umbrella sticking out of it. Unlike Alucard, she seemed perfectly content to enjoy the day without declaring war on the surrounding beachgoers.
"Here you go. Some local money for you to buy whatever you want." I said, handing the cash over to Momoyo.
Momoyo casually accepted it and tucked the bills between her breasts without a second thought before returning to her coconut drink.
"So, having fun, Momoyo?" I asked, glancing at how comfortably she was lounging beneath the umbrella.
"Yup! This lake might not be all that impressive compared to some of the others I've been to, but I ain't complaining. It's nice to have some time to relax before I go hunting those unicorns again." Momoyo replied with a cheerful smile. She leaned back against her beach chair, taking another leisurely sip of coconut water before letting out a satisfied sigh. "Might as well enjoy myself while I can."
"You must really hate those unicorns." I remarked, raising an eyebrow at Momoyo, who let out a snort, clearly unimpressed by the mere mention of them, before taking another sip of her coconut water.
"Let's just say they said something I didn't like." Momoyo replied, crushing the coconut in one hand with a loud crack. She casually picked up a broken piece and bit into the white coconut flesh inside. "And I'm holding a grudge against them. Care to join me in hunting them down later today, Chikao?" She blinked innocently at me with a cheerful smile, as though she hadn't just crushed a coconut with her bare hand.
"I'm good. Also, it seems like no one in Gravity Falls uses card readers for payment, so unless we leave town, your credit card is pretty much useless for the time being, Momoyo." I begin rubbing my chin thoughtfully. "Come to think of it, I'll also have to set up a bank account in this world and link it to that black credit card of yours to get it working properly. That's another thing I'll have to deal with sooner or later."
"I was wondering why you kept giving me cash yesterday and today." Momoyo stated, finally understanding the reason behind it. She casually tossed the remaining pieces of the broken coconut into the lake, watching them splash into the water before settling back into her beach chair.
"Did you even use the cash I gave you yesterday?" I asked, reaching into my jacket and using Steal to snatch another coconut from the Flying Dutchman.
With another use of Steal, I removed the top layer of the coconut, neatly opening it without spilling any of the water inside. I then used the Fool Pathway's Grafting ability to transform the removed piece into a makeshift straw, which I slipped into the coconut.
Satisfied with my handiwork, I casually tossed the coconut over to Momoyo, who caught it with one hand and immediately took a sip through the straw.
"Yup. Got myself plenty to eat," Momoyo replied, taking another sip of coconut water. "I would've gotten something for Alucard, too, but she said she was already full from eating gnomes. No idea how many she ate, but she wasn't hungry at the time." She shrugged before continuing. "Of course, I could've gotten you something as well, Chikao, but you ran off before I could even ask you to join me for lunch." She tilted her head slightly, looking at me with curiosity. "Actually, what got you so worked up that you had to leave right away after giving me the cash yesterday? You seemed to be in quite a hurry."
"Believe it or not, I was busy finding some worms, getting my hands on small plastic containers, and printing labels for them. All that just to make some cash for you to use today." I answered, reaching into my pocket and pulling out the Die of Probability. "I figured I might as well do something to make sure you have enough money to buy whatever you want while we're staying here. At least until I get my hands on everything I want before we leave Gravity Falls." I casually tossed the Die of Probability into the air and snatched it as it fell, glancing at the six-sided die before slipping it back into my pocket. "And lucky for both of us, my luck is going great." I added with a satisfied grin.
"So... you became a scammer for me?" Momoyo asked, blinking slowly as she stared at me, seemingly unsure whether to be touched by the gesture or concerned about how I'd earned the money.
"Not a scammer. After all, I didn't make any false promises for illegal financial gain. Those worms are 100% genuine fishing bait." I protested, putting on an offended expression as though Momoyo's accusation had deeply wounded me. "If anything, I'm a Swindler at best. I made sure everything I did would actually provide something of value in return. Plus, I went out of my way to give them fresh, high-quality worms. I could've just tossed a few tiny, barely usable worms into each container and filled the rest with dirt, but I didn't." I spread my hands innocently, as if that alone should settle the argument. "See? I actually gave them what they paid for."
"Does that mean those containers were full of worms, Master?" Alucard asked, poking her head out from behind the walls of her massive sandcastle. She peeked at me curiously, resting her hands on the sandy wall while keeping the rest of her body safely away from the lake water.
"Of course, but the worms vary in length and size. Not all of them are going to be as good as the others." I replied with a grin at Alucard, intentionally ignoring Momoyo rolling her eyes at me. "Besides, those worms aren't exactly easy for the average person to collect in such a short amount of time, especially in large quantities. Digging up that many would take quite a bit of effort, you know."
"Did you actually dig up those worms yourself?" Momoyo asked, tilting her head as she stared intently at me. She lowered her coconut slightly, looking rather suspicious of my earlier explanation.
"Of course! I just didn't use a shovel or dig them up the way most ordinary people would." I replied proudly, puffing out my chest a little. "I simply used a different method to get the job done. Nothing wrong with working smarter, right?"
"Right..." Momoyo replied, staring directly into my eyes as she slowly sipped the remaining coconut water through her straw. She didn't seem entirely convinced by my explanation, but she made no attempt to question me further.
"By the way, Master." Alucard called out as she pulled her head back inside her sandcastle. "Would it be possible for me to leave sometime soon? I'd rather not stick around here any longer than necessary. There are still plenty of gnomes I need to eat, not to mention all the other creatures roaming around this place."
"Not yet. I still need you around to help me find the Gobblewonker." I answered, glancing toward Alucard's sandcastle. "Once we've dealt with that, you can go back to hunting whatever creatures catch your interest."
"Sorry, did you just say Gobblewonker, or am I suddenly hearing things?" Momoyo asked, digging into her left ear with her pinky finger before giving me a bewildered look. "Because that's definitely not a word I'd ever expect to hear coming out of your mouth, Chikao. Seriously, what the heck is a Gobblewonker?"
"In this world, it's basically their version of the legendary lake monsters that people have supposedly spotted in various places but have never been able to prove actually exist, like the Loch Ness Monster and Ogopogo." I explained, gesturing toward the lake. "I'm curious whether there's actually a real one living here or if it's just another local legend. Either way, I figured it wouldn't hurt to take a look while we're here."
"Can I eat it if we find one?" Alucard asked, licking her lips as a hungry gleam appeared in her eyes. She poked her head farther out of the sandcastle, apparently finding the prospect of eating a legendary lake monster far more appealing than simply looking for one.