The Chef x The Celebrity
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✨─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───✨
~ Date: June 2422 Interstellar Year ~
~ Location: World 1 – Luna Bellflower Moon ~ Terra Anka PXD2422
~ The Golden Dragon Star Nexus Intergalactic Empire ~
✨─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───✨
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🐦🔥 [ Phoenix ☯ POV ] 🐦🔥
-Solaris – 'Mama, Choi Yongbok is definitely a living artwork, and since you love art and like to collect beautiful things, why not see about adding him to your "collection"? I mean, he is a Dominant Alpha, objectively insanely handsome—only surpassed by Master Phoenix. He is smart, hardworking, talented, and rich. He is S-class no matter how you look at it. If there is anyone in this world who comes close to having the privilege of being with or mating with my great master, it is him. You never know; he could end up being your destined mate. Why not at least consider it?'
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-Phoenix - 'What did you just say? You are joking, right? What if I do not want a destined mate or a mate at all? What the hell am I supposed to do if I do not like them? I am not sure I can do this. Maybe we should go back to the Nursery and try a different world.'
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-Solaris – 'Mama, you could always just have sex with him. Are you not curious what sex would be like now that you are free and have a choice? I know you have an aversion to it since the times before were rape, but I promise it is completely different when you have a choice. Sex can be great and should be enjoyed by everyone involved. Making love is even better.'
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-Phoenix – visibly shudders 'I have no plans to ever have sex again, and I will kill anyone who ever forces themselves on me again. To me, sex has no positives, nor does it feel good. However, I know that it is supposed to feel good. I am also aware that I will never be able to heal and move on if I do not confront my trauma and overcome it. I will consider it, but do not get your hopes up, Solaris. I am only considering it because I do not want the one, or ones, who imprisoned me to win.'
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Solaris tactfully acted as if he had not heard his master's private thoughts just now and spoke up with concern and vigor.
'Considering it is a great first step, but keep in mind that the one who imprisoned you will win if you do not truly live. Going through the motions is no better than being back in that prison. Master Phoenix, you cannot let the one, or ones, who imprisoned and hurt you win! Think about it: you can have fun while sticking it to the one(s) who did all this to you, and you can potentially gain more power if you find your soul mate. (In a small voice) Also, it will help you heal. Master Phoenix, you deserve to be healthy and happy, and I want to help you achieve that… please at least consider it, Master.'
~
Phoenix pondered what Solaris said and weighed his options. He knew that he would never begin to heal, truly grow stronger, or break the psychological hold his abusers and captors had on him if he did not even try.
He had put on a stoic mask as thick as the city and palace walls combined and pretended to be strong, as if nothing got to him. He had kept that mask and act up for so long that he had gained strength and fooled everyone into thinking he really was strong and that nothing could get to him—including himself.
However, if one were to take off his mask, they would see that he was not strong, confident, or in control of everything. Without the protective mask he had carefully curated over all these years, he was just a scared and vulnerable young man. He was also aware that he had never fully matured emotionally or psychologically because it was easier to act as if all this was not really happening to him, but to someone else. Now that he thought about it, he was honestly lucky he was as sane as he was.
He did not know how he—or it—had managed to make it this far. Solaris saved him in more ways than one. Solaris was his only real friend because he had never let anyone else in.
Phoenix knew that he had monumental trust issues. How could he not? But he did trust Solaris.
Phoenix knew that Solaris truly cared about him and his well-being, even if Solaris still held so many secrets regarding why he had searched for him in particular and who his creator was. He did not want to hurt Solaris, but he would if Solaris continued this way. Phoenix's eyes flashed with determination. He would try and see how it went, then go from there. Love and romance were too much for now, so he should start by making a friend—and he would start by having a real relationship with Bong Tae-Hwan's family.
Phoenix's heart raced. He began to sweat, and his breathing became difficult. He admonished himself.
'You are going to suck it up and take it one step at a time! If the host really has a destined mate, then so be it. It is not like I am the one who must spend all of eternity with them.'
Thinking that, Phoenix felt a lot better about the whole mate, destined mate, or pair thing. It was not like it was his soul mate—just the host's—so he had nothing to worry about. Plus, it would be good practice and therapeutic in helping him heal and be ready for a real relationship of his own, if that ever happened.
Sigh.
He really found it impossible, seeing as no one had ever made his heartbeat race, skip a beat, or given him butterflies in his stomach. The closest anyone had ever come was Draco, and they were never more than friends. It was just that Draco had been the only one besides Solaris who had ever gotten close enough to be considered a friend.
Though that annoying asshole had managed to worm his way into his heart, Nix knew he would never admit it to anyone. Just as he would never admit that he missed that annoying friend of his, nor the hole his absence had left in his heart. Maybe—just maybe—he could make at least one good friend like him in this lifetime.
'Is there really someone out there for me, a soul mate? Will I even be ready for them, or will I just end up pushing them away and/or ruining them? I know I am fucked up, and the thought of someone else—someone who had no hand in all this—bearing the weight of my wounds and scars from this whole nightmare... it makes me sick. I know I crave that closeness. Who wouldn't? But...'
Phoenix choked up, and his heart felt like it was being pricked by a hundred needles. He did not want an innocent bystander, let alone his soul mate, to bear the pain and weight he was burdened with just because he wanted to keep them by his side. Nix knew he was damaged and that he did not deserve a soul mate, but he also could not help that tiny bit of hope from rising and growing in his heart. Maybe, with more time, he could heal enough to become someone worthy of even dreaming about finding his soul mate—the one soul that would never leave him or hurt him. The one who would stand not behind him, but beside him, and walk through life with him.
As soon as Nix thought about improving himself so that he could be worthy of even considering finding his soul mate, the small bit of hope and excitement he felt vanished as his demons reared their ugly heads and reminded him that even if he worked to improve himself, he still would not be worthy. He, who had nothing to offer but enough baggage to last an eternity and wounds so deep and wide they were more likely to fester and kill him than even begin to heal, had the audacity to dream of a soul mate? It was disgusting and delusional.
'Ha, I am already delusional, so why not fully embrace it? Maybe, just maybe, my soul mate will be delusional too, and we can just be two crazy lovebirds. Hahaha, yeah, I think I will increase my psychological counseling in this life and see if I can improve myself. It honestly is a win-win if I do, and if the unimaginable happens and I do meet my soul mate, then maybe—as far-fetched as it is—we can be together.'
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Phoenix going through a lot of emotions as he thinks about all this:
... (｡•́︿•̀｡)
... ~(>_<~)
... ＼(〇_ｏ)／
... ╮(￣_￣)╭
... Σ(°ロ°)
... (╥﹏╥)
... (・_・;)
'But let's face it, Nix. You know damn well the chances of that happening are next to nil, but if it actually did, I have no clue how I would even realize it. I mean, I have had sexual relations—well, if you can count all the times I was sexually assaulted, raped, and when the Jailer System had full control over me like a marionette puppet as sexual relations. But that is just sex. When it comes to a relationship, I have no clue where to begin! Soul mate or not, they will leave me like everyone else because I am so broken. Do I even deserve to be loved?'
Solaris stayed there, looking at his foolish Mama. He was torn and wanted more than anything to reassure his Mama Phoenix and tell him it would all work out, but he could not. There were some things he knew his Mama wanted to keep private, and this was one of them, even if Phoenix had forgotten to block his private thoughts from Solaris.
After everything his poor master had gone through, one would never guess that love was what scared him. Well, maybe it was not love that scared him, but all the vulnerability that came with falling in love, giving one's heart to another, and trusting that person to never betray you.
His poor Mama Phoenix had a lot of healing to do, but honestly, this would be good for him. He could not keep avoiding it all because sooner or later, it would explode if not properly worked through. Solaris knew that his master needed his soul mate, even if his silly master could not see that yet.
Solaris felt no qualms about it because his Mama Phoenix shared a soul bond with his soul mate, so even without the gland, they would still be able to tell they were mates. The attraction they would have to one another would be even stronger than that of the glands that alphas and omegas had. It would be even stronger for Dominant Alphas and Dominant Omegas.
Phoenix would understand once he finally found his soul mate. Solaris had absolutely zero doubt that his Mama Phoenix would find his soul mate and fall in love with them. It might take time for them to come together and for his poor Mama to heal enough to not just realize their connection and bond, but also for him to not run from it. Solaris knew without a doubt it would happen; it was just a matter of when.
Solaris just hoped that Phoenix did not push away his soul mate and inadvertently hurt them both. He knew his master all too well. He was not just stubborn; he was also a tenderhearted person who tried to act big and bad to keep everyone at bay as a way to protect himself, while simultaneously hoping to find someone who would never leave or hurt him.
His Mama really was breathtakingly beautiful—not just this shell, but he himself—and would have a long, long line of people wishing to be his suitors. Solaris knew only one soul would ever be able to move his Mama Phoenix's heart, though. Whether his gland was active or not would honestly not make a difference in the attraction others would have toward him.
Solaris was looking forward to his Mama falling in love. Too bad. He would happily munch on sunflower seeds and boiled peanuts while watching the upcoming show, which he knew would not only be entertaining but also inevitable.
'Sorry, Mama, but my main mission and directive come first. I was created for a reason, and I can only hope that you will understand and not blame me in the end. At least I know that this will all benefit you in the end,' Solaris thought to himself.
Phoenix straightened his back and, with determination, said out loud, "I will try. I will get stronger, live, and not let my captors win. I will get stronger, and in the end, I will get revenge for all that I have been through!"
Solaris looked at the cruel and vicious smile on his Mama Phoenix's face and could not help shrinking back in fear a bit. His master could be very scary when it came to someone crossing him.
'Seriously, how can someone who looks so pure and innocent and has such a good heart be this terrifying and vindictive? Well, I guess it is to be expected after everything my master has gone through. My Mama really is the best. I just love him!' Solaris thought to himself.
｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ ~ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ ~ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ
✨🐉☯️✧─────────────── 💫 ───────────────✧☯️🔥✨
🕯️(๑•̀ ‿ •́๑)🐦🔥🐉 [ SOLARIS LOG: ACTIVE ]
"Good luck, Mamma. I know you have this!" Solaris thought.
"Lighting a tiny candle for the Black Lotus...
Mamma Nix is about to pay her back 1,000x over!
Get ready for the downfall, family!"
'Good luck, Mama.
✨🐉☯️✧─────────────── 💫 ───────────────✧☯️🔥✨
｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ ~ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ ~ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ
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~ ✨~🐉~ ☯ ~🐦🔥~✨~