[Give me STONES so a non-ai story can finally get into the popular rankings please.]
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Bip • { system initializing ...%1.. %2..%45..%90..%100}
"Hehehe, now let's see if I could beat the fastest record of becoming a Kage in all fiction when I hit 9 months old!" I said with a small creepy laugh while rubbing my small hands together like a coin clipper, albeit failing.
Bip • { opening a message from god:
Hello there, if you got this message then that means your soul is stabilized. I just wanted to say that this was the small gift from me, a StatusWindow with occasional tips. It's non-sentient, so be grateful as you shouldn't even have this in the first place. Also, as you are still a baby and pathetically weak, the powers that you supposed to have will be Heavily sealed until you put some effort to unlock them step by step as this universe and half of the Hyperverse will simply explode if you don't control that power and you will be Erased.
god.}
'Dammit! I thought I will be a planet buster from the start. Why a seal all of a sudden?!' I thought in annoyance.
'Status open' I let out in my head.
________________
Status /
Name: Hatake Garou
Race: Human 50% monster 50%
Power level : 2 babies
Assimilated : %0.5
Talents: LOCKED!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Skills:
• Regeneration: [ I ]
Wounds heal faster than a civilian Peak Genin physique.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Forms: LOCKED!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~
Tip of the day: Suck that boob dry.
___________________
'The fact that it's %0.5 and only some very very few of his skills and talents is crazy!
'I am sure after I slowly progress in the Essence, there will be more and more!' I thought in excitement.
'And that assimilation thing probably means how much his power and combat experience my body can handle for now similar to those Template type of fanfictions I read, though I don't know what god meant by this being different from a Template.' I thought in confusion.
He knew he was insane and not right in the head when god talked to him in the void, but weirdly, he remembers everything that happened there.
So, the more I train and fight the more memories, experience, and power will get unlocked?
Maybe.
'And that race thingy, why does it say 50% human? I don't remember the original Garou to be a monster from birth.' I thought in surprise.
No one knows what these monsters are in One Punch Man world except for being unpredictable mentally and physically with immense potential depending on who becomes one!
So, being a Monster was a huge risk.
Even though becoming a monster might be a good thing as it will give you the necessary power to survive in this dog eat dog world, but it's a known fact in OPM universe that most monsters are unstable and destructive that love chaos.
And then comes the original Garou himself 'I hope his personality and memories won't affect me at least.' I thought, visibly concerned about this matter but what could he basically do?
Nothing.
'Its decided then, after three years when my chakra is refined I will start my training. No way in hell I will miss this blissful days as things will get hectic afterwards and I need to get over my previous life griefs and regrets, so I will enjoy my free time for now as much as possible.' I thought.
'Who even trains at this age? I ain't from an mtl translation bullshit.'
'Wait, now that I think about it, What is my current standing in the timeline? I know that Tobirama is still not the Hokage because his face is still not sculpted on the mountain, so does that mean he and Hashirama are still kicking?' I thought in excitement because if that were the case then I will get to see that genius racist some day in real life who is one of my favourite characters!
And what's better is that, if he remembers correctly, then soon an armistice treaty will be signed by all the ninja villages because all the villages took a heavy toll from the first shinobi war and then a long 20 years of peace will come soon.
'Which means I can accumulate power peacefully without fearing Danzo and his boyfriend for sometime because they are still in the beginning of their career.' I thought and my face relaxed which made me realise how tired I was from this little bit of contemplation.
"Yaawn! For now, let's just sleep and see what will happen, my baby brain can't handle all these complex thoughts" I uttered with a yawn and went to sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next day with Gintoki looking down at a naked Garou who was smugly kicking and slapping everywhere with a smirk so that Gintoki will have a hard time changing his diapers.
*Slap!* "Oww"
*Chuckles*
Garou slapped Gintoki's hand hardly which was quite strong much to the surprise of Gintoki who had shadows hiding his face while looking at the laughing Garou with dead eyes and a kunai hidden in his back, about to commit the unthinkable.
"Listen. I know you're going through it. Your teeth are fucked up, you don't look great, shitting all the time, can't even level up to boob 2 when you drink milk, but that's not your problem. Your problem is that you're acting like an annoying asshole to your mama and me. Your problem is that no one is gonna like you. You need to act like a normal person, talk like a normal fucking person, and I promise things will get better!" Gintoki said with spite which long made Garou stop moving around and laugh, his lips shaking and starting to breath heavily as he grunted, obviously, getting ready to cry bloody murder.
"Gin, you didn't mean what you said, right?!" Suddenly Ayaka looked at Gintoki behind the door of the room with a terrified look.
"..."
"Right?"
Gintoki made a sad smile and looked at the ceiling for a few moments, then glanced at Ayaka who was shaking her head in denial and dread before finally, Gintoki's gaze fell on the image of an ugly baby Garou who was a thread away from crying.
Gintoki then hit the iron while it was hot...
"You look like the last breath!"
'HOW DARE YOU JUNIOR!!' Garou cried.
And all hell broke loose.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAA WAAAAA WAAA!!!!!!"
"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"
That day, no one slept.
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2 years went by:
Garou continued on his journey through his infancy.
Ever curious, he explored around the village with his mom and sometimes dad, which suprisingly didn't fit to be called a village but a huge city because of the sheer size of it.
He once happened and looked at a map where he saw all of the elemental nations which can be inferred that the Naruto world's planet is roughly similar in size to our own Earth with one super continent and some islands which speaks volumes of how big that is as people on Earth used many advanced transportation advices to get where they wanted, and some of them still took a day and half or more with a plane.
And let's not talk about the slower methods like cars or ships which took many more time.
Now in a world where technological advancements was really confusing as they have electricity and TVs but still live like it's the Chûsei period, so Garou was really interested in how merchants and people who were not ninjas travelled in this vast world.
Maybe they made the cities and villages in a way that there will not be much distance between a place and another with Roman style roads connecting every city?
Most likely
---
In these two years, his fragile limbs grew stronger and began to explore the world around him.
His parents witnessed his first attempts at crawling when he was 5 months old which although surprised, they shrugged at it and called him a genius. Garou himself thought it was because of his monster physique doing its work.
His parents also noticed that he was much smarter than other children long ago, so his mother took the responsibility to teach him things from a young age while his father took care of him when his mother was tired or was in her monthly mood, which almost always lead to a brawl between the father-son duo.
All this time, Garou was enjoying and spending time with his parents and sometimes his clansmen who were all old people that took care of him. He didn't really care about training because soon his parents will force him into it anyways. As the only son of the clan head, he was required to be better than anyone.
Though, seeing his cheat physique giving him strength a child his age shouldn't have made him lazier.
Each of his milestones were celebrated with a large feast through the entire clan like taking his first steps at 9 and speaking not long after. His mom and dad's hearts swelled with pride each time. His dad drinking sake all day. His mom showering him with kisses and hugs. It was a really eye opening experience for him because who really remembered their childhood that much except for blurry images of nonsense?
So he cherished these blissful moments a lot. Though, a whole lots of new problems arouse when Garou became more mobile and talkative because that day was the day Gintoki got clapped hard.
Flashback to that day /
"D.....Da...."
"Awww look look Gin, Garou is trying to say dad!" Ayaka excitedly approached Garou who was laying on his back and was trying hard to say something, so she immediately called Gintoki in the other room.
"Finally! About time he speaks. I have long wanted to have a dad-son conversation with this little devil, thought he turns out a mute!" Gintoki said and tiredly came inside the room and leaned on the wall with his arms crossed and eyes closed, trying to act cool, but he couldn't hide the excited smile on his face as he attentively listened to his son trying to call him.
"D...D....Da..."
"Come on cup cake you can do it! Say daad say daaaad and next say mom too!" Ayaka encouraged Garou which made Garou try harder.
"Daa...Daaa....Daaaaaa" Garou tried to imitate his mom and became red from the effort of calling his dad, which made both parents to lean closer and closer each time with bigger smiles on their face.
"Daaaaaa.....Daaaaaaaaaaa!!" Garou cried louder and louder which made Ayaka and Gintoki more excited until finally...
It happened.
With shadows hiding his evil smirk, Garou slowly but surely turned his head slightly and glared at Gintoki with empty eyes which sent a sudden chill down the spine of his father as he sensed the grim future.
"You chiisai bitch desuka?"
"..."
"..."
The world slowed down to a snail's pace in Gintoki's eyes. Tears fell from his eyes. His body turning as white as a sheet of paper, already resigned to his fate as he sensed the demonic aura surrounding Ayaka.
He opened his eyes only to be met with eyes no human should have, and he, a logical man and an elite jonin already knew what he should do...
"Body flicker jutsu"
The moment he ran away, the door of the house exploded and he glanced at his back to see his wif–Devil in human skin following just behind him!!
"Rahhhhhh!!! Come back here you fuckerrrrr!!! How dare you teach little cup cake to speak like that! HOW....DARE...YOU?!" Ayaka roared which made the ever logical man to stop in his tracks after hearing her outburst because he knew running away was futile, and he immediately started to cry while kneeling before the Devil.
"sob sob sob, I swear on my dead old Pope's diapers it wasn't m–"
*BAM!*
Before he tried to explain himself a pan already made his way directly to his head which made his eyes barely stay in their sockets and knocked him unconscious.
Ayaka grabbed his leg and dragged him to somewhere while also creating a shadow clone.
"Go and get me my whip, it has been sometime since I used it. We will have a looooong night together my little Gin hehehe!" Ayaka said to her shadow clone who cracked her fingers and immediately went to get the lash.
From that day, Gintoki got an instinctual fear towards the mother and son. He will always remember this cursed day and put it in the clan archive for the future generations to realise what he went through because of his own stupidity. The day he lost trust in familial love and labelled kids as curses that make life of men harder.
If not for being a clan head, he would have left to buy milk.
Back in the room with Garou. He was grinning jewishly, feeling refreshed after so long, as if drinking a glass of cold water after being stranded in a desert for days.
Now he can sleep in peace, and he did so a moment later.
Flash Back End/
From that day, Ayaka was watching Garou closely so he wouldn't become a bad mouthed vulgar man like his dad which restricted Garou to some extent but he didn't care except for those times his mother taught him kanji and whatnot after knowing how much more mature he looked.
Garou also came to know that he exactly looked like the original Garou appearance-wise, which he didn't have much problem with as the guy was one of the few badass ones and was also slightly above average in terms of looks with explosive muscles.
He surely was grateful for this manly appearance that had a natural sharp look because he always hated overly 'Handsome' characters that had femboy type of faces with not a single speck of facial hair visible on their pussy faces, like fluffy white haired with blue or red eyes that screamed grape me diddy!
Men should look like men. Have some testosterone. Beautiful is not one of men's traits but reserved for women.
Be better.
This was one of the many reasons he hated cultivation novels... maybe except that Absolute Regression one.
But what made him excited these past few days was this news:
"I know you look lonely and don't have friends dear cup cake as our clan only have oldies and kids in their teen years, but soon the birthday of princess Tsunade will be held and she is your age too, you two can be great friends I am sure... maybe even fall in love early and marry." Ayaka said to Garou who was lazily laying on the floor scratching his ass before raising his eyebrow as he barely heard her last sentence which was not quite audible but his hearing was quite sharp thanks to his physique.
Though the news made him quite excited for a different reason, which was the opportunity to see some big names there.
Hopefully.
The End.
[I hate stories that spend 50 chapters on how a 1 year old Shotas act like Socrates and Plato, no one likes to read about children fucking around. So, I will try my best to time skip without breaking the pace too much.]