[It was Samot_Senpai who gave me the idea that if I wanted the MC to write books then it should be the Art Of War. So creadits goes to him and some others.]
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"What are you doing?" Gintoki curiously looked at what I was writing.
"Helping your lazy ass get some money." I replied without looking at him as I continued to write.
"Hmmm, when strong, appear weak? What kind of bullshit is that?" Gintoki read what I have written with eyebrows raised.
"The best victory is to win without fighting? So basically, be a dishonorable pussy. I mean, how do you even win without fighting?" Gintoki continued to comment as he read.
"You don't get it bastard." I muttered with gritted teeth.
The worst part is that I agree with him.
If you don't clap some asses then how do you win?
It's like describing president Xi of China who did nothing and still win against US. The man practically just minded his own business eating popcorn and watched US fuck itself up for their greatest ally in the middle east.
'When your enemy makes a mistake, just watch and don't intervene.' Another shit Sun Tzu said.
Anyways, this is the Art Of War, not MMA. It's all about leadership, not throwing fists.
So it doesn't matter if I personally don't agree with the content, I need money.
"But this is stupid. Look at this other one... if you wait by the river long enough, you'll see the bodies of your enemies float by. Okay and? Then what? What does that even mean?" Gintoki looked at me stupidly as he pointed at some sentences.
"..." Better not answer this braindead guy.
"Hey Zombie! Are you trying to act sophisticated?" Gintoki asked mockingly.
"..."
"Come on, do you think people are stupid? Who are you trying to scam?"
I gritted my teeth but still decided to continue to write.
"Man, you are one hell of a stupid Zombi–"
"If you think my writing is that shitty then why don't you write something yourself you fucking bastard!" I shouted at him, but all he did was put a finger inside his nose which made veins appear on my forehead.
"Nahh, I am a real guy. I don't act sophisticated by writing books and shit. I AM sophisticated. I don't need books for people to recognize superiority in flesh."
"More like a fucktard in flesh–"
"Now now, let's not get vulgar, too low." Gintoki interrupted and started to leave my room and I just raised my middle finger at him.
"Since you are going to publish that, I don't want you becoming a laughing stock, it's not good for my image. People will point at me saying I have a dumbass in my house. So hear me out..."
"..."
"A wise man once said... hmmmm, that whomever moves is ga–Nahhh wait wait! I think I remember, my father always used to say this shit all the time my bad...!" Gintoki started to continue his dumbfuckery like usual.
"..."
"Okay okay, here it's; A wise man once said... uhhhhhh....ooookay Zombie, I forgot and you are on your own, good luck."
I just showed him my middle fingers until he left.
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Some days later/
I ignored all the wary glances around me as I stood in front of this place. The 'Yamamoto Press' a small two story building tucked between a weapon shop and a dango stand. It wasn't fancy, but it had been around it seems. According to my research, they had proxy stores in the capital and a few other big civilian cities.
Not the best but good enough for what I needed.
I pushed the door open and ducked slightly to get through the frame. The front room was cramped and stacked with newspapers and scrolls. Behind a wooden counter sat an old guy with a bald head and thick glasses. He was reading something and did not look up.
"Can I help you?" He said.
I walked toward the counter, my footsteps creaked on the old floorboards, the whole place shook a little with each step. I'm not even that heavy, only 170 Kilograms. The building was just old and shitty.
I was carrying a medium sized scroll containing what I have written and put the scroll on the counter.
The old guy finally looked up and his eyes went wide immediately. He saw my chest first, then my shoulders, then my face. His gaze flicked to my red hair mixed with white, then to my arms, then back to my face which a long intimidating scar.
His mouth opened slightly.
"Uh..." He swallowed and immediately nervous.
"Look at that scroll." I said calmly.
He adjusted his glasses with shaking hands. "I... yes. Forgive me. You are... quite large."
"Sky is blue. Now look at the scroll." I tapped it with one finger with a little bit of more force than necessary, the counter rattled.
He flinched but then he picked up the scroll with careful hands, like he was handling a live grenade.
He unrolled it slowly.
"T...the Art of War by Hatake Garou." He read aloud, then glanced up at me and then focused on my now mostly red hair mixed with white. "You are... a Hatake?"
"The Uzumakis aren't the only red heads old man, now read it, I don't have all day."
He nodded quickly and kept reading. His eyes scanned the lines, but his hands were still shaking. I could see him sneaking glances at my arms every few seconds. My biceps were bigger than his head. I didn't blame him for being nervous. But it was still rude.
Some time passed as the old man went through the content of Art Of War with wide eyes as he unrolled the scroll slowly and read some pages.
He then stopped and looked at me again.
"Is there a problem?" I said as I flexed my fingers.
"No! No problem at all, Hatake-san. I was just... admiring your penmanship. It really is a masterpiece." And the old man wasn't lying.
In his long years of being a reader and a scholar who has read countless books, he could count on one hand how many books were masterpieces on the level of this one. The level of articulation weren't top tier but the literacy and content of this book alone put this Art Of War in the top 10 books in the whole of Fire country.
But how did a book like this get written by this brute? This book will surely become a huge hit; thought the old man.
"Right." I leaned forward slightly, putting my weight on the counter. The wood creaked under my palms. "Look, old man. I need this book printed and sold. Not here in Konoha though, but through your proxy stores in the capital."
He nodded so fast his glasses almost fell off. "Yes, yes, of course of course! But care to tell why there and not just start from Konoha?"
"Because I want to." I replied.
"Ohh of course of course, I am sorry for probing."
"Okay then, let's talk numbers." My biceps bulged for extra intimidation factor so that he won't rip me off. The old guy's eyes went to them nervously.
"Standard royalties are 6% for first time authors." He squeaked.
"30%."
"14%." He said quickly.
"25% and I will let you have the rights to distribute in the Land of Fire completely, but I keep the rights for other countries. This book contains only 3 chapters out of 13. If it sells well which I am sure it will, then maybe I will think about letting you publish the other chapters as well."
"Done." He grabbed a contract scroll quickly from under the counter, unrolled it, and started writing. His hand was still shaking.
I watched him fill out the terms. "You're not gonna negotiate?"
"I think 25% is very fair, Hatake-san." He replied with a nervous smile. He recognised immediately that Garou was not the type of guy who cared about your opinion or negotiation. If he hesitated for a single moment then Garou will simply leave, and he couldn't afford to lose him after reading a little bit of what he wrote.
"Good." I replied but I could practically see him cursing under his breath.
He finished writing and slid the contract toward me then I read it over.
Everything looked solid, so I signed my name and pushed it back.
He stared at my signature for a moment, then rolled up the scroll and tucked it under the counter.
"It will take about three to four weeks to print the first batch, Hatake-san. We will send a messenger to your clan compound when it is ready."
"Good but one more thing."
He flinched, "Yes?"
"Print my name big on the cover... Hatake Garou. I want people to see it. Understood?"
"Understood completely, Hatake-san."
Then I turned and walked out. The door closed behind me. I heard him let out a shaky breath from inside.
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Later that night/
"Aghhhhh Damn!" I let out muffled sounds of pain underneath my blanket.
My skin was deep red because of the accumulation of blood. Every single vein inside my body was pulsating, and my heart was sending blood at unnatural speeds through my arteries. My body convulsed uncontrollably, and muscles started to twitch unnaturally.
I could feel my bone marrow and thymus changing. I could feel myself becoming heavier because my blood was becoming denser by the second and changing to a darker tone of red, as if I had been smoking for years.
Some little blood was dripping down my palm, so that's how I knew, but the wound started to regenerate and stop the bleeding.
"Aghhhh!" I gritted my teeth with all my might so I wouldn't let out any sound.
Then suddenly my right eye started to twitch and burn, as if thousands of needles were piercing it slowly to inject acid into my eyeballs. That sent a neural shock to my brain that rattled my whole body.
"Ughhhhh!!" I let out a low painful sound and quickly clenched my right eye with my shaky hand to ease the pain, even if just a little, but to no avail.
"AGHHHH!!!"
---
20 Minutes Later/
Huff... huff...
"Finally.. it's over!" I let out softly with my eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling while breathing heavily.
Ding...
[Monster 71% > 84%]
[Racial abilities unlocked]
[You Unlocked ---> The Progenitor]
[Partial Unlock ---> Monsterification]
[Partial Unlock---> HumanoidShifting]
[You Unlocked ---> LesserShapeShifting]
[You Unlocked ---> Lesser Bio Material Generation]
"Huff, damn!" I uttered as I looked at the screen that popped up in front of my face, then I took a look at their details.
[TheProgenitor: You were, are, and going to be the first of your kind to have walked on this unknown universe. All Monsters shall obey you.]
[Monsterification: .....
Note/ Become more pure]
[HumanoidShifting: .....
Note/ Becomemorepure]
[LesserShapeShifting: You can now change your physical appearance to a lesser degree]
[LesserBioMaterialGeneration: You can manifest various forms of matter, whether weapons or tools, by harnessing your own biological tissues, skin and muscles within a limit.
Note: Needs energy or nutrition to convert]
"Become more pure?" I muttered with a frown as I looked at the first two abilities.
Even though I knew that I could manipulate my physique at my own will at some point as shown in the Manga, I don't see me having more than those racial abilities except some others that I unlocked in the later parts of my fight against Saitama.
'Maybe this is my own unique abilities because I was born as a monster instead of turning into one?' I asked myself, not so surely.
I moved my hands toward my hair in a quick motion and pulled out a single strand, then looked at it.
"Deep Red." I mumbled without much emotion on my face.
*Sniff sniff.*
I smelled the whole room for a second to check something, then started to smell the tree leaves which were far away from my house. My senses reached the training ground that was 700 meters away, then a little further until I hit the 1km mark and stopped because I couldn't smell further than that.
"At this point I'm gonna turn into a dog." I muttered.
*Grumble.*
"I am hungry." I said as some saliva uncontrollably fell from my mouth, which was weird.
"It's still night, no a good time to go down, don't wanna wake my parents also." I gulped down all the saliva and wiped the rest on my lips with my sleeve.
"And what's with this urge to go destroy some boulders for no reason?" I said to myself then shrugged a second later.
"An hour in Tsunade's arms could cure cancer, so calming myself down should be easy, I guess." I said with a nod to myself and went back to sleep with a hungry stomach.
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TheNextDay/
*Grumble.*
"Can I get some meat to eat, Mom?" I said groggily to my mom behind her, my cheeks were sunken. She was picking up some plates, then turned around with a smile on her face.
"Of course cupcak–"
*Crash!*
All the plates fell from her hands. She immediately dashed toward me with a fearful expression and started to look at my eye and hair.
"WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU AGAIN?!" She said with tears welling up in her eyes quickly, which made me confused before I remembered last night and my hair turning red completely.
"Why is your hair like this?! Is your eye alright?! Are you okay?! Let's go to the hospital immediately and let the doctors check you. Let's go, let's gooo!" She quickly said, tears falling from her eyes, as she came behind me to push me toward the exit door. But I didn't budge from my spot.
"I am fine, Mom." I said in a calm, lazy tone.
"No you are not! Something is probably going wrong with you! At first I shrugged it off, but now look what happened! I should have told Gin to bring you to the doctor! You shouldn't have trained that hard! And look at your snow-white hair turned bloody red! That's not normal–" Mom started to speak frantically as she kept pulling me toward the door slowly so she wouldn't hurt me accidentally or make my 'disease' worse. But if she wanted, I knew she could body flicker me. She was a jonin level ninja.
"Umm, what the hell is happening in this beautiful mornin– Ayo, what the fuck?" My dad said in surprise as he looked at me with wide eyes.
"See! Even your father is worried cupcake! That tells you something! Let's go immediately!" My mom urged me as she hugged my huge arm.
'I became a little bigger again, it seems.' I thought as I looked at my dad who had to look up at me mora than usual, and he was quite tall himself. That made me look slightly down at him to lock my eyes with his. I looked at him pleadingly to take care of Mom, and he just nodded after understanding. He came toward Mom and held her shoulder.
"Calm down, Ayaka-chan." My father said in a soft tone.
"You're really asking me to calm down?! What is wrong with you?!" My mom retorted angrily at Gintoki with a glare, which made him flinch.
"Ahaha, but look, Ayaka-chan, he seems quite alright to me." My dad said as he pointed at my muscles, which were a little bigger and more defined. For an extra effect, I started showing off my muscles around my body everywhere like a bodybuilder, which made Gintoki raise an eyebrow in disgust and jealousy and Mom go into a daze.
After a few moments of awkward silence...
"Annnd..." My dad said to get back Mom's attention. Trying hard to not curse.
"And?" Mom said with a frown.
"Our Zombie has a Kekkei Tota, honey. That's why he is like this." Gintoki bullshitted with a smile, which made my mom get shocked, her mouth and eyes wide open.
"WHAT?! A KEKKEI TOTA?!" My mom shouted in surprise.
"Yes, honey. Our Zombie can now become very strong to defend himself, like we wished for and I don't need to guide his ass anymore." He said with his fake gentle smile still on his face.
"You mean it? You're not lying?! But he doesn't have chakra." Mom asked in disbelief.
"Yes, Mom. It works without chakra." I replied before Gintoki did, lest he messed up on the bullshit, which made mom hug me tightly with tears running down her face. I returned the hug while lowering myself to her level, my huge arms burying her in my embrace.
After a while, Gintoki joined the hug, but I kicked him away with disgust which made him sulk in fake sadness.
*Grumble.*
I looked deeply at my mom, feeling as if I could eat an elephant right now.
"Haha, don't worry, cupcake. I'll cook you anything you want. Just wait a minute for me." My mom said and pulled my cheek as we broke the hug. Then she went away to the kitchen.
"Hey..." I called Gintoki.
"Yes?" He replied.
"Thanks." I said... reluctantly.
"At least look genuine when you say it Zombie." Gintoki said tiredly, not even bothering to ask why I changed drastically overnight which I am quite thankful for.
"Nahh I am good. Also, can you write a form to the Konoha Hospital saying I have some kind of another rare disease, so that's why my appearance is like this?" I told him.
Even though I could just shape shift to get my white hair back, I didn't like hiding my true appearance that much.
I hated being fake.
Since I naturally look like this then I will stay being like this. I didn't mind however I looked. Beautiful or ugly, both are great weapons to know who people really are and how much they are worth.
"Sighhh, but why though? Do I really have to?" Gintoki asked lazily.
"Well, it's been a long time since I felt someone watching my moves everywhere except inside our own house and the training compound nearby. I know it's probably the Hokage's ninja spying on me to gather information. Ever since the party, this feeling has been more alarming by the day. So in case something happens, I just want to be informed about it fast. Also, I don't want the Hokage or his advisors to know two shits about what I can do." I explained seriously, and he nodded with understanding.
"That damned monkey! Just because I don't care, he puts ninjas in my compound? Then I will try what I can do, don't worry about it." He said ominously with a pat on my shoulder, and I nodded.
"Thanks." I replied.
"Owww yes, be thankful. Just like that," He replied with a smirk but I ignored him and left for the dining room.
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'Is it just me or mom is becoming more emotional by the day? She didn't even suspect a thing.' I thought.
The End