After the nice chat with the man who attacked Hannah, Alex and Mike returned to Tucker and Dale's forest cabin. Upon their return, they witnessed a rather unique scene that looked like a frame from the movie "Final Destination." On Tucker and Dale's property lay corpses that appeared as if they had become victims of a series of ridiculous accidents.
Entering the cabin, Alex and Mike saw Tucker and Dale covered in blood from head to toe. After learning how everything had happened, Alex could barely hold back his laughter while listening to Tucker and Dale explain what had occurred. Mike, listening to this, felt the full absurdity of the current situation.
Trying to ignore all this absurdity, Mike decided to bring Hannah back to consciousness after hearing from Dale that she had fallen and hit her head on the ground. Alex covered his mouth with his hand, trying not to laugh while watching Tucker and Dale's panic. Covered in blood from head to toe, Tucker paced back and forth, unable to believe what had happened to him and trying to process the events.
At the same time, Dale was experiencing such a mix of emotions that he was ready to cry because of everything that had occurred. He had never had to face anything like this before. Right before his eyes, three people had died by killing themselves. Raising his head, Dale pinched the bridge of his nose to stop himself from crying.
"Calm down! Calm down! Don't cry, Dale. Pull yourself together!" Tucker said in a panicked tone, still in deep shock.
"Uhhh… Okay. I'm fine. I'm definitely fine. Everything's normal," Dale said in a tone as if trying to convince himself.
"Got it. I think I'm starting to understand what's going on… Everything is falling into place," Tucker said, looking through the window at the corpses outside.
"What… What is this?" Dale asked, taking a deep breath and trying to pull himself together.
"These are fucking suicidal cultists. They have a whole community of lunatics here. You heard how they were screaming about the end of the world… It wasn't for nothing," Tucker said, trying to get his thoughts across to his friend.
"Oh God, that explains everything," Dale said in a surprised tone, realizing what was happening.
Alex and Mike watched this with surprised looks because Tucker had figured out on his own what was really going on. Without wasting a second, Tucker began hiding all sharp objects so they wouldn't accidentally end up in the hands of such people. Dale, however, wasn't paying attention to his friend and was trying to process what he had heard.
His gaze shifted to the window, and he looked again at the corpses of the cultists who had attacked them. Despite his stupidity, Dale quickly understood that none of this was accidental. And most importantly — he realized that these cultists had wanted to grab Hannah. He remembered the words the cultists had shouted while attacking him and Hannah. Alex and Mike did not interfere in the conversation between the two friends and were busy with their own affairs.
Mike was still carefully trying to bring Hannah back to consciousness. At the same time, Alex was busy reading the diary he had found in the creepy cabin. But everything Alex read in the diary was just the nonsense of a fanatic who believed he was an executor of divine will and that his mission was to prevent the birth of the Antichrist.
Turning another page, Alex thought about why several more fanatics had appeared. The only thing Alex remembered was that these fanatics lived in an old community and didn't use technology. While reading the diary, Alex quickly came to the conclusion how the fanatic he had tortured had managed to send a message to call the others for help.
And the only way these fanatics could have reached this place so quickly was along the river. Closing the fanatic's diary, Alex thought that he would need to check the riverbank for boats, and if lucky, catch a few more fanatics for interrogation.
"Wait, Tucker. I think I understand why they want to kill her. They were shouting that if they didn't do it, she would give birth to the Antichrist," Dale said, pointing his finger at Hannah.
"I'm telling you, they're crazy. Right? Yeah?" Tucker asked, finally shifting his gaze to Alex and Mike.
"Well… You guessed everything correctly…" Alex began, stroking his chin and nodding slightly.
"Wait! Don't say it. I don't want to know. If they find out that we know, they'll definitely kill us," Tucker sharply interrupted Alex, not letting him say anything.
"I don't want to upset you, Tucker. But it's already too late," Alex said with a strained smile on his face.
"What do you mean, kid?" Tucker asked cautiously, swallowing hard and starting to feel a very bad premonition inside himself.
"Our dead friend sent a message home. Otherwise, there wouldn't be four corpses on your property. And what do you think will happen next?" Alex said calmly, pointing his finger at the window.
Quickly understanding what Alex was getting at, Tucker took off his cap and sighed heavily. Tucker's face showed despair and the realization of what kind of shit he and Dale had gotten themselves into. Alex didn't need to spell everything out. It was clear that more fanatics would likely appear soon, and they would definitely come to kill them.
Dale, however, looked at Alex and Tucker, not fully understanding what was happening or what Alex meant by his words. Tucker, sitting on the chair, looked at his hands stained with someone else's blood and began rubbing them, trying to wipe off the blood that wouldn't come off. Realizing that nothing was working, Tucker laughed bitterly and reached for a beer.
"Tucker, how are you?" Dale asked, watching his friend's behavior.
"No, Dale. I'm not okay. We're in deep shit. We're in such a shitty situation that it couldn't get any worse… Hahaha. We're fucked," Tucker said irritably, staring at Dale as if he had asked the dumbest question possible.
"So, what should we do? Maybe we should call the police?… Yeah, let's call the police," Dale asked cautiously, trying to suggest the most rational option.
"Call the police?" Tucker repeated, staring at his friend with a stunned look.
"Yeah… Yes. The police," Dale replied, nodding quickly, showing that it was a workable option.
"And what are we going to tell them? Go on, Dale, answer. What are we going to tell the cops?" Tucker said, getting up from the chair with a cynical smile on his face.
"We… We'll tell them the whole truth," Dale said, thinking the situation wasn't that complicated.
"Great idea, Dale… And how do you imagine that? Oh, hello officer. What a wonderful day. We were sitting in our cabin, minding our own business. Then a girl burst into the house, chased by some sick man. And then some people appeared and started committing suicide all over our property? Is that how you see it?" Tucker began speaking in a calm tone, and gradually his voice became louder and more irritated.
"Wait, Tucker. We have witnesses. And well… He's a federal agent. Isn't he?" Dale began, trying to stop his friend.
Tucker opened his mouth to refute Dale's words and immediately fell silent. Tucker's gaze shifted to Mike, who was behaving too calmly in such a situation and was still helping Hannah come to her senses, as if corpses outside were a normal thing. Then Tucker's gaze shifted back to Alex, who was standing by the wall, holding a cigarette between his fingers with a smile on his face.
Alex stood by the wall and watched with interest as Tucker and Dale's conversation unfolded. He was amused by how the two friends had once again forgotten that he and Mike were still there. Tucker looked at Alex and opened his mouth as if trying to say something, then immediately closed it. He still had doubts about Alex being a federal agent. After all, he was sure that such young federal agents simply didn't exist.
"Fine… Fine… Let's assume I believe you're a federal agent. Let it be so. And what should we do?" Tucker asked, pacing back and forth and looking up at Alex.
"First, we remove the corpses," Alex said with a cheerful smile on his face, extinguishing his cigarette.
"Aren't we supposed to not move corpses at a crime scene? I saw that on TV," Dale said after hearing Alex's suggestion.
"This isn't a crime show, Dale. So if you don't want extra problems, come and help. All these corpses outside basically don't exist," Alex said, shaking his head at Dale's question.
"Wait, kid. What do you mean they don't exist?" Tucker said, raising his hand and trying to understand the meaning of Alex's words.
"That's exactly what it means. Officially, these people no longer exist. They just — poof — vanished. No documents, no registration. In short — nothing. And if they don't exist, then there shouldn't be any corpses," Alex said calmly, opening the door to go outside.
Tucker and Dale didn't fully understand what Alex was getting at. But Alex wasn't going to explain everything to them and simply waved at Mike, showing that once he removed all the corpses, they could leave. Mike calmly nodded, continuing to watch over Hannah. Going outside, Alex approached the first corpse lying near the pickup truck and dragged it toward the pit.
Tucker and Dale followed Alex outside and saw what he was doing. Exchanging glances, they understood that they didn't have much choice. Either do as he said, or get into an even bigger pile of shit. Tucker patted Dale on the shoulder and told him to help pull the body out of the wood chipper.
After dragging the corpse to the pit, Alex threw it down and went for the next one. Approaching the corpse under the tree, Alex grabbed it by the leg and dragged it to the pit as well. Looking at the three corpses in the pit, Alex shifted his gaze toward Tucker and Dale, who were trying to pull out the corpse stuck in the chipper. Sighing, Alex approached Tucker and Dale.
"Alright, step aside. I don't want to waste another hour waiting for you to pull this corpse out," Alex said, pushing Dale aside.
"Wait, we almost got it out. You have to be careful here…" Tucker began, using a crowbar to open the chipper's teeth.
Alex pinched the bridge of his nose, grabbed the corpse by the leg, and yanked it sharply toward himself. Blood from the mutilated corpse splashed onto Tucker and Dale's faces as Alex pulled the body out in one motion. Seeing how effortlessly Alex had pulled out the corpse, Tucker and Dale froze in place.
Ignoring the two men, Alex dragged the corpse behind him and threw it into the pit. Tucker and Dale followed Alex and looked into the pit, which now contained three and a half corpses. They didn't even know how to react to this, and whether what Alex had said about these people was actually true.
"What next, kid? Just bury them?" Tucker asked, turning his head to Alex.
"Stay here… Actually, no — take a few steps back," Alex said, waving his hand before leaving.
After finishing speaking, Alex entered the forest cabin, and his gaze immediately fell on cans filled with flammable liquid that looked like moonshine. Grabbing the cans of moonshine, Alex also took a bucket and a rubber hose. Going outside, Alex approached the pickup truck and opened the gas tank cap.
Siphoning some gasoline using the rubber hose into the bucket, Alex returned to Tucker and Dale. Before they could ask what he was planning, he began mixing gasoline and moonshine in the bucket, preparing a highly flammable mixture to get rid of the corpses.
"What are you doing?" Dale asked, squatting next to Alex and watching what he was doing.
"There are many ways to get rid of corpses. One of them is to simply burn them… Oh yeah. Don't just stand there, throw some dry logs into the pit," Alex said, finishing mixing the flammable mixture.
Tucker and Dale exchanged glances and decided it was better to stop asking questions they would get unpleasant answers to. Following Alex's request, Tucker and Dale dragged over dry logs that Tucker hadn't yet put into the chipper. By this point, Alex had finished mixing the flammable mixture.
Grabbing the bucket with the liquid, which had a rather specific pungent smell, Alex began pouring it over the corpses and dry logs. Throwing the bucket aside, Alex took a cigarette and matches from his shorts pocket. Lighting the cigarette, Alex threw the still-burning match into the pit. At that moment, bright flames flared up. Along with the flames came the smell of burning skin and wood.
"Crackling like firewood," Tucker said, shielding his eyes from the bright flames with his hand.
"And it stinks," Dale said, waving his hand to get rid of the smell.
"One less problem. Alright, let's go," Alex said, clenching the cigarette between his teeth.
"Where to?" Dale asked, looking away from the fire and turning his head toward Alex.
"We'll go in your pickup truck to the forest cabin where my friends are. Or have you decided to stay and wait for the fanatics to come for you, just because you got involved with the one who, in their opinion, should give birth to the Antichrist?" Alex said, putting his hands in his pockets and walking toward the forest cabin.
"Well… Can't argue with that. I don't want our house to be trashed by some insane fanatics," Tucker said, taking off his cap and finally accepting the whole shitty situation.
Dale could only nod in confusion, still trying to fully comprehend the current situation. Alex entered the forest cabin and looked at Mike, who was busy watching over Hannah. Turning his gaze to Alex, Mike asked if everything was ready. Alex nodded, explaining how they would return to the others. Mike frowned for a moment and looked at Hannah, who was still unconscious.
Seeing this, Alex approached Hannah and began checking her. After making sure Hannah was fine and simply unconscious, Alex turned to Mike and said everything was okay. A moment later, Tucker and Dale entered the cabin, grabbed a few things, and were ready to leave. Just as everyone was about to leave, Hannah slowly opened her eyes, not understanding what was happening.
Seeing Hannah's condition, Alex quickly told her everything and explained that they were going to return to the others. Hannah could only nod in confusion, holding her head and experiencing a slight headache after yet another blow to the head. Dale helped Hannah go outside and get into the pickup truck.
Tucker and Dale got into their pickup truck, waiting for Alex and Mike to get into the bed. Once in the bed, Alex patted the roof, signaling they could go. Tucker started the engine, and the pickup truck carefully drove onto the forest road to leave this place.
Driving through the forest, Alex lazily leaned his back against the cab of the pickup truck, sitting in the bed and holding a cigarette between his fingers, mentally planning his next steps. Continuing to drive through the forest, Tucker looked in the rearview mirror and wanted to ask Alex one question that had been on his mind the whole time. Deciding to ask it, Tucker opened the rear window.
"Hey, kid. If you really are a federal agent, then why don't you call for backup and all that?" Tucker asked, looking alternately at Alex and the road.
"When we get to our friends, I'll explain everything. The situation is quite delicate to do something like that officially," Alex said, shaking his head, knowing who was behind this.
Hearing Alex's words, Tucker narrowed his eyes, not understanding why such secrecy was needed. After all, there was just a community of cultists in the forest obsessed with the end of the world. Alex just shrugged, showing that he wasn't going to explain anything at the moment and didn't see any particular reason to.
After all, if he told them that the organization behind the creation of such a cult was part of a secret government experiment since the Cold War, and the goal of this organization was to create sleeper agents. And the second experiment was how radio waves of a certain frequency affect the human mind.
"What do you mean? What could be worse than a group of cultists?.." Tucker asked, getting distracted from the road and feeling that there was a deeper meaning in Alex's words.
"Tucker, careful!" Dale shouted, starting to shake Tucker, who had gotten distracted from the road.
When Dale's shout rang out, everyone sharply turned their heads forward and saw a large tree beginning to fall in front of them. Tucker sharply turned the steering wheel to avoid the collision. Swerving off the path, Tucker lost control. The pickup truck began to skid, and the wheels hit a large rock, causing the vehicle to overturn. Seeing that the pickup truck was about to flip, Alex jumped to the other side of the truck and began pulling it toward himself, preventing the vehicle from overturning.
Thanks to Alex's efforts, the pickup truck did not flip over, but crashed loudly with its undercarriage against a large rock, damaging the driveshaft. Tucker, Dale, and Hannah, who were sitting in the cab, were unharmed. Mike, who was sitting in the bed with the dog Junkers, nearly flew out because the truck had almost overturned. Everyone began quickly coming to their senses after the accident.
"Hey, everyone alive?" Alex asked, jumping back into the bed of the pickup truck.
"Yeah, we're still alive. Dale, how are you?" Tucker said, rubbing his forehead after hitting his head on the steering wheel.
"Alive. My belly softened the impact. Hannah, are you okay?" Dale said, trying to stay positive as he looked at Hannah.
"Yes, I'm fine. Thank you," Hannah said, breathing a sigh of relief and looking at Tucker with gratitude.
Dale smiled a silly smile after receiving gratitude from the girl. Alex looked at Mike, who was rubbing the back of his head after a light hit against the truck cab. Looking up at Alex, Mike gave a thumbs up, showing that he was fine and it was just a minor bruise. Alex nodded and jumped down from the bed to check on the condition of the pickup truck.
Looking under the pickup truck, Alex realized that without using magic to fix everything, they wouldn't be able to go anywhere else. And before Alex could fix it, Tucker's loud curses rang out when he saw what had happened. Sighing, Alex looked at Tucker, who was looking under the truck and continuing to curse about his truck being done for. Meanwhile, Dale helped Hannah out of the truck, and Mike jumped out of the bed.
"Fuck, what are we going to do now? The truck is finished," Tucker said, slapping the hood of his pickup truck.
"We'll go on foot. And it's better to do it quickly," Alex said, shrugging his shoulders and preparing to return to the forest cabin with everyone else.
"Just get up and go?" Tucker asked, looking at Alex who was walking away.
"Yes. Just get up and go. Evening is approaching, and I don't want to hang around in the forest at this time," Alex said, looking at everyone over his shoulder.
Seeing Alex's carefree behavior, Tucker couldn't understand what was going on in his head at all. Tucker couldn't help but notice that Alex was behaving as if this was the most ordinary day in his life and that he didn't care about anything happening around him. Mike wasn't surprised by Alex's behavior at all and began helping Hannah walk.
Seeing that Alex, Mike, and Hannah were leaving, Tucker and Dale exchanged glances and followed Alex's group. Walking through the forest, Alex threw his hands behind his head, continuing to think about what he needed to do next. He knew he would need to conduct a small investigation and then ask for help so as not to do everything alone.
"Alex, what are you planning to do after we get back?" Mike asked, walking next to Alex.
"What I always do. I'll clean up all the trash that ruined my vacation," Alex replied in a lazy tone, yawning slightly and covering his mouth with his hand.
Looking at Alex's lazy behavior, Mike just shook his head, not intending to question Alex further. Continuing to walk through the forest, Alex looked around in case there were more members of the "Covenant of the New Ezekiel." But throughout the entire journey, Alex and the others encountered no problems, except for having to walk through the forest on foot to reach the forest cabin where the others were.
And after some time of walking through the forest, the outlines of the forest cabin and the motorhome parked nearby became visible. Seeing the outlines of the forest cabin, Alex and the others quickened their pace to get there faster. Approaching the forest cabin, Alex saw Samantha lazily sitting on the porch of the forest cabin, with a katana with a butterfly guard leaning against her shoulder.
Seeing the return of Alex, Mike, and Hannah, a slight smile appeared on Samantha's face. Samantha breathed a sigh of relief upon seeing that Hannah was fine, except for the thick layer of bandage wrapped around her head. Mike just nodded with a tired smile on his face and led Hannah into the house to calm Josh.
But when she saw that Tucker and Dale had come with them, covered in blood, she raised an eyebrow and looked questioningly at Alex. Tucker and Dale looked at Samantha and saw the katana in her hands. And once again the question arose in their heads why, in this day and age, such strange students existed.
"Yo. How's it going?" Alex said, raising his hand with a smile on his face.
"This is not what I wanted to hear after you brought two men covered in blood. Don't you want to explain anything?" Samantha said, rolling her eyes at Alex.
"These are Tucker and Dale, and in general they also got dragged into all this shit. And in a very unique way," Alex said, pointing at the two men behind him.
"Um… Hi. Sorry for the trouble," Dale said in an embarrassed tone, waving his hand.
"Hi. We already saw each other at the gas station. And thank you for helping our friend. Even if it dragged you into a rather unpleasant situation," Samantha said with a smile on her face.
"Unpleasant? This is just a shitty situation… God, what kind of kids are these nowadays," Tucker said, starting to grumble under his breath after hearing Samantha's words.
Alex and Samantha exchanged glances after hearing Tucker's comment and just laughed. In their everyday life, the current situation could only be called a minor inconvenience. Kissing Samantha on the cheek, Alex entered the forest cabin, where everyone was already surrounding Hannah, especially the worried Josh, who had once again begun to blame himself for not keeping an eye on his sister.
Giving everyone time to come to their senses, Alex went down to the basement to bring Tucker and Dale some clothes so they could change. Returning with the clothes, Alex threw them into the hands of Tucker and Dale, pointing in the direction where they could change.
"Thanks, kid," Tucker said, holding the clothes in his hands.
"Yeah, thanks, Alex," Dale said, following his friend.
While everyone was anxiously looking at Hannah, they finally noticed Tucker and Dale, who were covered in blood, and walked past them. And immediately everyone had the question of what the hell was going on. Alex calmly said that he would explain everything once Tucker and Dale changed.
But seeing that some still wanted to ask questions, Alex immediately said that this was not the same as on Blackwood Mountain. And when Alex's words sounded, everyone breathed a sigh of relief. Alex pursed his lips, seeing the relief on their faces. Mike looked at his friends and his girlfriend and also pursed his lips like Alex.
Because he knew what was really happening. And even if they didn't have to deal with monsters that wanted to devour them, they would still have to deal with insane fanatics. Samantha looked at Alex and perfectly understood that he was going to ruin everything.
"Guys, I don't want to upset you. But the situation is still shitty," Alex said, making it clear to everyone that they shouldn't relax.
"What do you mean? You said it's not the same as before," Jessica asked, crossing her arms over her chest and looking at Alex.
"Well, yeah. No monsters. Just an apocalyptic cult that believes Hannah should give birth to the Antichrist. Other than that, yeah, nothing scary," Alex said, rolling his eyes at Jessica's question.
"Wait, let's go over this again. A cult of what? And what does Hannah have to do with it?" Emily asked, staring at Alex as if he had said the greatest nonsense in the world.
"When everyone gathers, I'll tell you everything. Mike and I had a nice chat with one guy, and he told us a couple of interesting details. And before you ask another question, Emily. Better give me your tablet, I need it," Alex said, waving his hand to show that he would explain everything, but later.
Emily reflexively handed her tablet to Alex. Alex took the tablet from Emily and sat down at the table, connecting his phone to it. Seeing that Alex was busy with his work, everyone shifted their gaze to Mike, who had been present during this very engaging conversation between Alex and the man who had attacked Hannah.
Recalling everything that had happened in that old forest cabin, Mike shook his head, showing that he definitely wasn't going to talk about what had been there, including the mutilated female bodies. Seeing how Mike's face changed, everyone decided to refrain from asking questions about what he had seen.
But Chris and Josh still wanted to find out what had happened when Alex and Mike were together. The reason for Josh's interest was simple — it concerned the safety of his sister, and Chris, who had read dozens of stories looking for plots, knew how something like this could end.
Mike took the guys aside to tell them everything. Matt also approached Mike, Josh, and Chris to hear what Mike had seen. And when Mike told them what he had witnessed in the forest cabin, the guys' faces turned pale. Mike described in detail to the guys what he had seen, and it nearly caused all three guys to have a vomiting fit.
"Mike, you must be joking, right?" Josh asked, swallowing a lump in his throat and staring at Mike with a shocked look after what he had heard.
"Do I look like someone who would joke about something like this? It was complete fucking horror. It wasn't just a creepy sight, it was a horrific sight. What that bastard did to those women is hard to even describe," Mike said angrily, clenching his fists in rage.
While the guys continued discussing what Mike had seen, Alex sat at the table and continued typing on Emily's tablet, searching for everything he needed. Samantha stood behind Alex and carefully watched what he was doing. Samantha was also curious about what the hell was going on and what it was connected to.
Jessica and Emily approached Samantha, watching Alex work, while Ashley helped Hannah treat the minor wounds she had received while escaping through the forest. Alex paid no attention to the fact that three girls were standing behind him and watching what he was doing.
At that moment, he was trying to gain access to the Mercoff system and all their archives. He knew that by hacking Mercoff's database, he would get access to the location of all objects, including the exact location of the "Covenant of the New Ezekiel" community, instead of trying to find it using his own abilities.
"I hope you have something strong to drink. I could really use it right now," Tucker said, returning after changing into relatively clean clothes.
"Yeah, there's a half-empty bottle of whiskey somewhere. Help yourself," Alex said, continuing to type on the tablet.
Tucker nodded and saw the whiskey bottle standing on a small table near the couch. Dale came out next, adjusting the clean clothes because they didn't fit him properly.
And seeing a group of teenagers in front of him, Dale felt even more uncomfortable again. But when Hannah said that they had helped her when things were bad, Ashley smiled and thanked Dale, causing him to start awkwardly making excuses. Alex briefly looked up and then lowered his gaze again, continuing to type.
"What are you doing?" Jessica asked, not understanding anything Alex was busy with.
"My job. Jess, can you remind me what your cousin's name is? His full name. And what does he do for work," Alex said, glancing over his shoulder at Jessica standing behind him.
"Peter Nelson. His job is something to do with computers. Why do you need that?" Jessica asked, frowning slightly, not understanding the reason for Alex's question.
"Peter Nelson, network security employee…" Alex muttered, pausing for a moment and looking at the tablet screen.
"Yes, that's what his profession is called… But you still haven't answered why you're asking about this at a time like this," Jessica said, nodding but still not understanding the reason for Alex's question.
"You won't mind if I strangle your cousin, right?" Alex asked, moving aside so the tablet screen could be seen.
Jessica didn't understand what Alex meant, and lowered her gaze to the tablet screen, seeing her cousin Pete's file displayed on it. At that moment, Jessica was confused by what she saw, not understanding why Alex was showing her Pete's file. Emily also didn't understand how Jessica's cousin was involved in all this.
Samantha, however, immediately understood what Alex meant by his words and why he had started talking about Jessica's cousin. Samantha touched Alex's shoulder and asked with her eyes if it was what she thought. Alex nodded, confirming Samantha's silent question. And seeing the confirmation, Samantha sighed irritably, realizing that Jessica's cousin hadn't allowed them to stay in this forest cabin for no reason.
To be continued...
(I figured I shouldn't jump to the next part of the plot abruptly. Next, I'll try to share a bit of the plot, and then there's a small event that will send Alex to the cult community for a nice chat with the one who started all this shit. I won't say anything yet, but honestly, the shit the leader of the fanatical cult pulled off is complete bullshit. The dude is seriously nuts. Well, I'll tell you about that later. For now, it's time to eat. Peace, love, and UFOs don't exist.)
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