Alex, Dean, and Sam spent several hours in a small family restaurant for one simple reason: none of them wanted to return to the bunker to witness the family drama between Chuck and Lucifer. Sam, who didn't know the whole truth, simply didn't want to become part of this drama, and yet he understood that he would have to do it in order to try to reconcile Chuck and Lucifer.
Alex and Dean, who knew the truth about Chuck and that he really didn't care about Lucifer, especially didn't want to watch this fake show where Chuck was pretending to be a caring father. And no matter how much time they spent in this family restaurant, they would still have to return to the bunker and witness all of it.
Fortunately for Alex and Dean, during these few hours Sam stopped blaming himself for all the troubles again and trying to carry everything on his shoulders. Before leaving, Alex suggested having coffee and then returning. Dean and Sam didn't refuse the offer and also ordered coffee for themselves.
Slowly sipping his coffee, Alex was texting with the girls, replying to their messages. The girls in Forks were genuinely amused by the tricky situation Alex had found himself in. In their messages, they made it clear how glad they were not to be part of all this. Replying to them, Alex could only complain that he had to pretend in front of Chuck, carefully acting as if he didn't know who Chuck really was. After finishing replying to the girls' messages, Alex put his phone aside and stretched slightly.
"I didn't think I'd say this. But it's time for us to go back... I hope nothing bad happened without us," Dean said, finishing his coffee.
"Do you think Chuck will decide to take a divine belt to Lucifer's archangel ass so that he stops throwing tantrums?" Alex asked, paying the bill for the food.
"I wouldn't mind paying to see that show," Dean replied with a laugh, standing up from his chair and putting on his jacket.
"And you're not the only one... I admit, it would look pretty funny," Sam said with a chuckle, putting on his jacket and not denying that he himself wouldn't mind seeing such a spectacle.
"We can arrange that. If Chuck can't discipline his little boy, I will," Alex laughed, pointing to the belt on his pants.
Dean and Sam looked at Alex, who was pointing to his belt, and instantly burst out laughing. It was easy for them to imagine Alex chasing Lucifer around the bunker, waving a leather belt and lamenting that Lucifer was a disobedient child who needed to be raised. Chuckling at the joke, the three of them left the family cafe and headed to the nearest alley to return to the bunker unnoticed.
Entering the alley, Alex placed his hands on Dean and Sam's shoulders, and at that moment they disappeared. A moment later, Alex, Dean, and Sam appeared at the entrance to the bunker. Before entering, they exchanged glances. There was a clear reluctance in their eyes to become part of what was currently happening in the bunker. They even felt that after Chuck's appearance over the past few days, the bunker no longer felt like their home, and Lucifer's arrival had only intensified that feeling.
Sighing simultaneously with Dean and Sam, Alex approached the doors and opened them. As soon as the doors opened, they heard the voices of Chuck and Lucifer coming from the main hall. Entering the bunker, they saw Chuck and Lucifer having a family conversation, where one hated the other, and the second pretended he wanted reconciliation with his son.
"Hey, how are things going here without us?" Sam asked, hoping that while they were gone, Chuck and Lucifer had at least made some progress toward reconciliation.
In response to his question, Sam heard only silence and different looks from Chuck and Lucifer. Chuck made the most awkward facial expression he was capable of, playing his role as a father. Lucifer, on the other hand, gave Sam one of his usual looks, regarding him as a cute funny little animal that had already bored him. Sam smiled awkwardly at these looks and began descending the stairs.
And when Chuck had an audience, he realized it was time to continue playing the role of a father longing for reconciliation. Quickly putting on a new mask to continue his performance, Chuck turned to Lucifer, who was still expressing his unwillingness to talk and demonstratively pretending to ignore everything around him while reading a random book taken from the shelf in Sam's room.
Descending downstairs, Sam saw Lucifer holding a book from his collection. And it wasn't just any book — it was the first edition of Harry Potter that Alex had brought as a souvenir. Seeing this book in Lucifer's hands, Sam thought only about saving his book. He immediately wanted to take it back, but Alex stopped him in time, reminding him that he could restore the book if Lucifer damaged it.
"Listen, son. Yes, I understand, I was gone for a long time. I missed millions of your birthdays," Chuck said, playing the role of a guilty father who had left home.
"Yeah. But as soon as your monkeys started screaming for salvation, here you are. Doesn't it make you laugh yourself?" Lucifer replied in a cynical tone, lazily turning the pages of the stolen book.
"No, it's not like that at all. It's completely different," Chuck said quickly, momentarily breaking character.
"Hey, these monkeys saved your pathetic ass. Something you couldn't do yourself," Dean snapped, staring at Lucifer.
Hearing Dean's words, Lucifer looked away from the book and frowned. Instantly, anger flared up inside him toward Dean and Sam because they had really gotten on his nerves. Every time they ruined everything for him. And the last straw was that they were the reason Chuck decided to come out. Inside him there was not only anger, but also jealousy that Dean and Sam were Chuck's favorites. Therefore, he no longer wanted to play these games with the Winchesters.
Lucifer raised his hand and snapped his fingers. Sam flinched slightly, thinking he was about to be disintegrated into atoms. But nothing happened to him, and Sam blinked in surprise. Alex and Dean immediately frowned and were already preparing to beat Lucifer for his latest antics. Lucifer himself frowned and snapped his fingers a couple more times, trying to kill Dean and Sam, ignoring Alex, whom he definitely couldn't kill.
"He won't be able to harm you. At least for now," Chuck said in a carefree tone, folding his arms across his chest and looking at Alex, Dean, and Sam.
"Oh, so now you've decided to start controlling me too. What, am I not allowed to do anything now?" Lucifer said in an irritated tone, looking at Chuck with anger.
"It's just a precaution. I'm not trying to control you... It's just that sometimes you... how to put it... are too impulsive, Lucifer," Chuck said in a calm tone, pretending to be a concerned father worried about his son.
Lucifer looked at Chuck with undisguised irritation and anger in his eyes. All because they were trying to control him again. Chuck responded with an awkward concerned look, as if he was really doing everything for his son's benefit and simply wanted to protect him. The witnesses to these exchanges of glances were Alex, Dean, and Sam, who continued to watch this family drama.
Alex almost started clapping at how well the actors in front of him were performing. Dean thought only about punching Lucifer in the face a couple of times for his latest trick. Only Sam was trying to find a way out of this awkward situation and make Chuck and Lucifer get on the path to reconciliation.
"Guys... Chuck, Lucifer, Dean, and Alex. Let's focus on our main problem? The world is ending, common enemy, and all that," Sam spoke awkwardly, trying to defuse the tense atmosphere that had begun to hang in the bunker.
"The enemy of my enemy is my friend... Go, Amara! Go, Amara!" Lucifer said with a smirk, slamming the book shut and rising from his seat.
"That's not what you meant," Chuck said, looking at Lucifer, and his gaze became cold for a moment.
"Then just say it... You still haven't said it," Lucifer said, narrowing his eyes, leaning closer to Chuck and looking him straight in the eyes.
Looking at Lucifer so close, the mask Chuck had put on cracked at the seams for a moment. But it all happened so quickly that Lucifer, standing close, didn't notice. Even Dean and Sam, watching from the side, didn't notice anything suspicious. Only Alex saw that short moment when Chuck's face was covered in static interference for a fraction of a second.
Chuck himself knew what Lucifer was talking about, and it irritated him. He didn't owe anyone anything and certainly wasn't obligated to say the words Lucifer wanted to hear. For him, Lucifer, like everyone else, was nothing more than an extra in his spectacle. And he was playing in this spectacle because he wanted to. For him, Lucifer was just a funny little animal he had molded from whatever was at hand. And he had done it only because he wanted to try on the skin of the Creator and have some fun.
Chuck and Lucifer continued to stare intently at each other. One longed to hear the cherished words, and the other just wanted to continue his spectacle. And if necessary, Chuck was ready to dig a little into Lucifer's head to make him more obedient.
Dean, watching this, lightly nudged Sam in the shoulder, hinting that he needed to intervene and defuse the atmosphere once again, since he wanted to play the role of reconciler so much.
"What hasn't he said yet?" Sam asked cautiously, trying to insert himself into the conversation.
Lucifer didn't answer Sam's question and continued to look at Chuck's face. He saw the same look as millions of years ago. That same daddy look that was always right about everything and never made mistakes. And this look had always annoyed Lucifer the most. He just wanted to hear those few words, and then he would forgive Chuck. But he still kept standing his ground, indicating that he never made mistakes.
For Lucifer, Chuck had been and remained a runaway father who had abandoned his child and personally sent him to rot in a cage alone. He didn't know Chuck's true identity and therefore sincerely considered him his father. Which played into Chuck's hands in this situation. But he still wouldn't say the words Lucifer so desperately wanted to hear, because he wasn't his son.
Seeing that Chuck was still silent, Lucifer only clenched his teeth harder from anger and irritation.
"Fuck you..." Lucifer said, pointing his finger at Chuck's face.
"Listen..." Sam spoke cautiously, not letting Lucifer continue.
"And you can go fuck yourself too, Sam. And you, Dean, and take your buddy with you. All of you can go fuck yourselves," Lucifer said, pointing at each of them in turn.
Having sent everyone as far away as possible, Lucifer no longer wanted to participate in this drama. If he wasn't going to get what he needed, then he wouldn't stay either. Preparing to teleport to another place, Lucifer realized he couldn't do that either. Throwing an irritated glance at Chuck, he decided to simply leave. As he left, Lucifer deliberately bumped Sam's shoulder and once again told him to fuck off, calling him a pathetic reconciler.
Sam recoiled slightly after the push, rubbing his shoulder. Alex and Dean watched the departing Lucifer with blank looks, simply wanting to kick this bastard. As he left, Lucifer demonstratively took loud steps, heading to Sam's room. Reaching the room, he also demonstratively slammed the door loudly, so that the sound was heard in the main hall.
Dean looked at Alex and nodded, agreeing with what he had planned for Lucifer. While everyone was watching Lucifer leave, Chuck quickly adjusted his mask, which was cracking at the seams, and put on a fake smile again as an awkward father who had met his son after millions of years.
"Oh, children. What can you expect from them," Chuck said with an awkward smile on his face, chuckling nervously.
When these words sounded, Alex almost rolled his eyes, which Dean did instead. Sam just chuckled awkwardly, not knowing how to comment on it. Chuck squeezed out one last awkward chuckle and went about his business, where he needed to pretend to be a carefree god for whom everything would be done, and he only needed to play the main role.
When Chuck left, Alex, Dean, and Sam exchanged glances, thinking about what to do next. And the most important thing they had to decide was how to kick Lucifer out of Sam's room without making him act even more capricious. Alex immediately made it clear that he wasn't going to do it, otherwise his patience would run out and he would definitely snap and beat Lucifer again.
Dean began massaging his forehead, trying with all his might to refuse, but Sam's look made it clear that he needed help. Dean sighed heavily and nodded, showing he was ready to help kick the devil out of his room, no matter how funny it sounded.
"Only not right now. He needs time to cool down. Maybe an hour or two," Sam said, stopping Dean.
"Are you seriously suggesting giving the devil time to cool down? Did you read that in a child-rearing book?" Dean asked, looking at Sam doubtfully.
"Well... Sort of, yeah," Sam replied awkwardly, chuckling embarrassedly and lightly scratching his cheek with his finger.
"Why the hell did you even read that book? Do you have kids?" Dean said, making a face and looking at his brother like he was an idiot.
"Alex has them. And Alessa is like a niece to us. So I thought it would be good to read that book," Sam quickly replied, pointing at Alex and explaining why he had read such a book.
"Ugh, Sam... I think I'll refrain from commenting... If you need me, I'm in my room. I need to talk to Cas and find out what Crowley's up to," Alex said, patting Sam on the shoulder before leaving.
Before Alex finally left, Dean wanted to stop him with words about not wanting to deal with all this family drama. But Alex left with very quick steps, leaving the main hall and disappearing into the corridor.
Dean clicked his tongue irritably and looked at Sam, asking what his next plan was to reconcile Chuck and Lucifer. And before Sam could voice his next plan, Dean reminded him that this plan shouldn't come from a child-rearing book.
Sam assured him it wasn't and that they just needed to make Chuck and Lucifer talk to each other, and then they wouldn't have to do anything else. Dean showed with his whole appearance that he doubted this plan. But realizing Chuck's love for all this drama, the plan should partially work. And for that, they needed to somehow kick Lucifer out of Sam's room.
Meanwhile, Alex returned to his room and locked the doors. Taking off his thin coat, Alex sat down at the table and immediately called Castiel. At that time, Castiel was watching Crowley, who had been trying all this time to regain power in Hell after Lucifer ended up in Amara's hands.
Being outside the bunker, Castiel didn't have to pretend to be the real Castiel, and therefore he was simply relaxing, playing the role of an observer. Sitting on the roof of an abandoned psychiatric hospital that Crowley was using as his base on Earth, Castiel was watching funny cat videos on his phone while simultaneously keeping an eye on Crowley.
Castiel momentarily looked away from the screen and focused on how Crowley was desperately trying to win demons over to his side. Hearing how the demons literally told Crowley that he was someone's bitch, Castiel smiled slightly and returned to watching cat videos. Just as he was about to continue, he saw an incoming call from Alex on the screen. Thoughtfully raising an eyebrow, Castiel answered.
"How can I help you, brother?" Castiel asked with a smile, holding the phone to his ear.
"What are you up to there? Watching cat videos again and pretending to work?" Alex's cheerful voice sounded from the speaker.
"You guessed it... But regarding 'pretending to work' — I'm afraid you're wrong. Spying on someone is quite hard work. You need to carefully watch the target and remember every step. I saw it in an evening series," Castiel replied with a smile, slightly loosening his tie.
"Pretend you didn't hear that you're still watching evening series. How are things with Crowley? Is he still trying to get his throne back?" Alex laughed dryly, quickly changing the subject.
"Unfortunately, I would say. And unfortunately for him, his authority was badly undermined by his past actions. Even ordinary demons have turned away from him," Castiel said, keeping one eye on what was happening in the hospital.
"What about Rowena? I only know that money is flying off my bank account," Alex asked, ignoring his brother's usual tone.
Hearing the question, Castiel thought for a moment. Before his eyes appeared the place where Rowena was now: she was lying on a lounge chair by the pool, with a waiter standing nearby holding a tray with a cocktail. Rowena was sincerely enjoying the vacation at someone else's expense and wasn't shy about spending money, including on a personal waiter.
Stroking his chin, Castiel assessed the situation and thought that she wasn't doing anything suspicious except for really big spending on Alex's card. Stopping his observation of her, Castiel blinked, and the forest around the hospital appeared before his eyes again.
"From what I've seen, she's quite happy with her time at your expense. And she's not shy at all about spending your money, brother," Castiel replied, describing what he had seen.
"Better that way. It's much better than if she tries to fuck Chuck, or Chuck tries to fuck her and plants one of his abominations in her in case of an emergency escape," Alex said in a tired tone, flicking a lighter to light a cigarette.
"I can hear from your voice that the family drama is in full swing. Fortunately, I'm not there. I have no desire to deal with those two," Castiel said, slightly shaking his head, crossing one leg over the other while sitting on the edge of the roof.
"I'm glad it amuses you. Anyway, keep watching. Soon Chuck will start moving his reconciliation plan. And then the dream team assembly will begin... Oh yeah. And keep an eye on Donatello. Chuck might pull his evil Amara trick again. Do a couple of your replacement tricks so the old professor doesn't die," Alex said with a heavy sigh, preparing to end the conversation.
"No problem, brother. I'll hide Donatello for a while, leaving a fake in his place. No one will suspect the switch. And talk to you later..." Castiel said thoughtfully, already having figured out how to protect Donatello.
"Yeah, talk to you later, brother," Alex said, ending the call.
After finishing the conversation, Castiel didn't put away the phone but continued watching cat videos. He wanted to wait until all the demons left and Crowley was left alone. Letting go of the phone for a moment, Castiel saw Crowley left alone in the empty hall, while all the demons left with mocking faces, not forgetting to remind him whose bitch he was.
When the last demon left, Crowley irritably watched them go and tiredly sank onto his throne. Rubbing his forehead because his eloquent tongue hadn't helped much in this situation, Crowley began to think of another plan to take control of Hell.
And what was also important, he didn't know what state Lucifer was in or what was happening in the bunker. If he had that information, he would have come up with a different plan. But since leaving the bunker, he knew nothing; he didn't even know where Rowena was now or if she was still under protection in the bunker.
Castiel watched Crowley for a few more moments as he came up with another plan to regain the throne, and then disappeared. Castiel appeared in the penthouse of the hotel that Rowena was renting at someone else's expense. Looking around, he walked slowly toward the veranda with the pool where Rowena was now.
Rowena, slowly sipping her cocktail while lying on the lounge chair, heard the sound of opening doors. As soon as she turned and saw Castiel, the smile immediately slid off her face, replaced by a sour expression. With a sour face, Rowena waved her hand, dismissing the waiter. Castiel approached the neighboring lounge chair and sat down opposite Rowena.
"What brings you here, Castiel... Decided to check if I'm doing anything suspicious? If that's why you're here... Then I'm sorry to disappoint you. I'm quite happy with my current life. Cold cocktail, sun, and pool... Oh yeah. And quite pleasant spa treatments," Rowena said in a sarcastic tone, slowly sipping her cocktail.
"No. I came to tell you that your help will be needed soon," Castiel said in a calm tone, placing his hands on his knees and interlacing his fingers.
"Really? Has something changed while I was gone?" Rowena asked in surprise, setting the cocktail aside and reaching for the box of candies.
"A lot. God has appeared. And Lucifer was rescued from Amara's hands," Castiel said, nodding slowly.
When these words sounded, Rowena's hand froze in the air. She slowly turned her head. A mixture of shock, disbelief, and other emotions flashed across her face. At first she thought she had misheard who was now in the bunker. But looking at Castiel, she was sure he wouldn't lie about something like this. Rowena slowly lowered her trembling hand and tried to gather her thoughts, trying to process what she had heard.
"You're not lying, are you? I can understand your buddies joking about something like this... But if this is a joke, it's not funny at all, even for you," Rowena said, trying to make sure she hadn't misheard.
"You didn't mishear, witch. It's exactly as I said," Castiel repeated in a calm tone, looking at Rowena.
"Oh, boys. What is going on there with you. Did big daddy decide to show up to talk to his evil sister," Rowena said, covering her eyes with her hand and feeling genuine shock.
"As I said, a lot is happening. And that's why your help will be needed soon," Castiel calmly repeated the reason for his visit.
"I don't know how I can help. I definitely don't want to become part of this family drama again... I've already started planning to go back to the past... And what do you expect from me?" Rowena said in a sarcastic tone, revealing her true escape plan.
"If you help, you won't have to do that," Castiel said in the same calm tone, standing up from the lounge chair.
"Fine. Fine... This will cost a lot. But the Winchesters' handsome buddy has quite deep pockets, and he can pay for my services... I'll come up with something... But I don't need to return right now, do I?" Rowena said thoughtfully, quickly calculating a plan of action.
"Not yet. God and Lucifer haven't reconciled yet. And there's nothing for you to do there," Castiel said, preparing to leave.
"How sweet. They're playing family there. God and Lucifer are trying to reconcile, and your friends are in between them... I'm not surprised at all. The Winchesters as always stick their noses everywhere, and even dragged my dear client along with them," Rowena said with undisguised sarcasm, taking the cold cocktail in her hands and giving Castiel a mocking look.
Castiel gave Rowena a blank look one last time and then disappeared. Left alone again on the lounge chair by the pool, Rowena felt that the cold cocktail no longer tasted as good. Setting it aside, she got up from the lounge chair and, muttering to herself that this was the last time she was putting herself in such a dangerous situation, entered the penthouse.
She was going to have a little talk with old witch acquaintances to even out the odds in her powers a bit. She wasn't going to get involved in something like this without proper preparation and insurance for her life. She valued her life more than any luxury and therefore was going to prepare several escape routes in case nothing worked out.
Meanwhile, Alex was in his room, ignoring all the surrounding noise. He wasn't going to get involved in all this drama without unnecessary need. And his argument was the trap he was supposedly assembling. Lucifer was still sitting in Sam's room, Chuck was pretending that everything was fine and waiting for reconciliation, making pancakes in the kitchen. And between them Dean and Sam were running around, wanting to reconcile the two. And so this eventful day came to an end. In one day in the bunker, so many things had happened that it had really exhausted Dean and Sam.
And since Sam's room was occupied by Lucifer, he had to find another place to sleep. So Sam came to sleep in Alex's room, even if it was on the floor. Alex himself didn't mind Sam's company, and they discussed various options until late at night on how to reconcile Chuck and Lucifer. But it all came down to the fact that those two just needed to talk.
The next morning, Alex and Sam were woken up by loud music coming from Sam's room and Dean's shout for Lucifer to turn off the music. Waking up from this noise, Alex and Sam went out into the corridor and looked at Dean, who was angrily banging on the door, urging Lucifer to open and come out.
Rubbing his face, Alex approached Dean and nodded his head, asking what was happening. Dean, barely shouting over the loud music, explained that Lucifer had been making noise all night, and toward morning he had turned the music on at full volume. Rubbing his temples from irritation, Alex began banging on the door.
"Lucifer, come out and talk to God or Father. I don't care. Or turn off the music. You're not alone here," Alex shouted, banging on the door.
Alex was tired of enduring all this, and he was one step away from beating Lucifer again. He had been in the bunker for only one day, and he had already annoyed everyone. Alex hit the door a few more times, and the music from the other side began to get quieter. Dean and Sam looked at Alex, smiled, and nodded as if they had finally managed to reach the capricious teenager. They had already tried until late last night to make Lucifer come out of the room, and in response they only heard "fuck off" and silence again.
"If daddy wants to say something, let him come himself. And I'll sit in my room for now!" Lucifer shouted through the door, still refusing to come out.
"That's not your room!" Sam shouted, hitting the door.
"It is now. Fuck off, Sam! You stayed in my room. Now I'll stay in yours. And if you hit my room's doors again, I'll burn all your books!" Lucifer's voice sounded again from the other side of the doors with a clear threat to Sam.
Sam froze in place, staring at the closed doors. And just as he was about to kick the doors down by force, he heard the sound of a flicking lighter from the other side. Deciding to play it safe so as not to sacrifice his books, Sam quickly stepped back. Scratching his head, Sam looked at Alex and Dean for help. But they also had nothing they could do in this situation other than to break into the room by force and drag Lucifer out by force.
"Fine... Fuck him. I need coffee," Dean said, intending to wake up first before thinking.
"You can go fuck off too, Dean!" Lucifer's shout came from behind the doors.
Dean froze in place and took a deep breath to calm down. Trying not to get angry, Dean repeated to himself that first coffee, and then everything else. Repeating these words to himself like a mantra, Dean walked quickly toward the kitchen where the cherished coffee was. Alex looked at Sam and suggested having coffee first and then thinking about what to do.
Sam looked at the closed doors of his room once more and sighed irritably. As they walked to the kitchen, a small plan formed in Sam's head on how to make Lucifer and Chuck talk. Voicing his plan to Alex, Sam made it clear that it might work. Alex thought about it and nodded slightly, deciding that offering it to Chuck and then telling Lucifer that his daddy was ready to talk might work.
To be continued...
(Anyway, I really do have another shitty plan. Namely, to Rick and Morty Alex and Dean. That is, our guest at the end of this arc will lightly mess with Alex and Dean and throw them into another world with the words: "You guys love saving everyone so much, so go ahead, save this world, and I'll watch." And as for what kind of world it is, I can only name one character — Aerith. Yes, yes, this is still just a plan, or rather a hallucination caused by the fact that I bought myself the remake. Like, an adventure for 20 minutes, but in the end it's "fuck, when is this going to end already." You get the idea. I'm gonna go eat. Peace, love, and I can do this. And no one can stop me.)
Early access to chapters on my patreon: p*treon.com/GreedHunter