Hey, hey!
How have you all been?
I hope that this entry finds you all well, as always.
Life is changing for me pretty rapidly, you know?
A new significant other.
Moving into a new place.
A new year is coming.
New short stories.
New poetry.
New.
New.
New.
It is a lot, but I am ready.
I have no choice but to be, yeah?
Life changes rapidly.
We have to be ready, or it will pass us by.
All of the good things that we are looking for and waiting for will pass us by if we are not open to accepting what is to come. We ask for change, and we are often not ready for it when it comes, but we must do what we must.
We have to make ourselves ready, or not seek and ask for change in the first place.
Go, ready yourselves.
Make yourself ready for the change you want.
The change you seek.
The change you need.
Life doesn't get easier; we get stronger.
Go enjoy this entry, and I will see you soon, yeah?
Enjoy!
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September 4th, 2013.
Journal #083.
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Loneliness is powerful.
Far too powerful.
I can't say I know what it is,
But something seems different between us.
Life rolls on, huh?
My head shouldn't be in the clouds anyway.
Healing.
Healing is stupid.
We should all stay fractured...
Broken.
I like it more like this.
I won't fix anyone,
And they can't fix me if they tried.
-----
Hmm.
-I am pretty sure she was just sleeping with her ex, lbvs.
That was what was different and distant between us.
She kept me as close as she wanted me, and as far away as she needed me to be.
It was a great illusion.
Pain disguised as paradise, if you will.
Looking back, it was very well played on her end.
I was so madly in love with her that she could have done and said almost anything to me, and I would have let it fly.
For nearly nine years, what we had became just that.
How ironic, yeah?
Love is not blind; love can be blinding.
But more dangerously?
Humans wielding love as a weapon and tool...
That is the ultimate danger.
Don't let love become a cage, Folks.
-As for healing being stupid?
I can't disagree.
If we weren't so shitty to other humans to the point where they are all fucked up and traumatized, we wouldn't need to take time to heal.
Maybe healing isn't stupid, but the need to do so?
Hmm.
Humanity is both ingenious and quite stupid all at once, lmao.
No offence, I am just as human as any of you are.
Or am I?
Hmm.
-I took a bunch of random psychology courses while I was studying to become a teacher years ago, and while doing so, I began to face and fix some of my own childhood traumas.
I think I did pretty well, you know?
Then she came along and threw my world and mind into a blender.
I didn't mind at first because I was under the impression that she wanted to blend OUR lives together eventually.
I thought that she was only deconstructing me so that she could learn how to best love me.
Nope.
She was picking me apart.
Slowly disengaging all of my defenses.
And I was so in love that I let it happen.
Live and learn, Folks.
Just do so with your mind and eyes open, you know?
I have found an amazing, honest, loving partner who genuinely cares about me.
It is never too late.
We just have to walk through fire sometimes, you know?
Lord knows I walked...
Be patient, but be careful.
Love who loves you, don't chase it.
I will see you all back here soon enough for the next entry.
I hope that you all had a good Turkey Day, and that the holidays are going well for you thus far.
Safe travels, Folks.
And as always:
Stay safe.
Stay healthy.
Stay vigilant.