Moon rested her aging body on the couch, enjoying a quiet family evening in the livingling, something that had become thankfully more common in the past few years. Star had found her calling as a teacher, Steven was a universally wide-known diplomat, and even her own bakery business had reached massive success. She was currently in talks of expanding her brand…of course, given the amount of bureaucracy, she had to keep a hard foot down to make sure no one would get any ideas about half-assing her recipes.
"So this is what you would have rhymed my name with if I was a girl?" Steven asked Greg, pointing to the little girl on the tv speaking in spanish as little Ian looked engaged by the program.
"Meh, what can I say, it was a classic." The man responded. "There were lots of crazy shows going on when you were young. Spongebob, little einsteins … looked through a lot when you were gone." He chuckled nervously. "Went on a bit of a binging spree to help cope with the loss."
"A better alternative than alcohol at least." Camia patted the man's back. "I was lucky to have Vee around when I realized Luz had gone off. If I didn't…I don't know what would've happened."
"Yeah, according to Anne, the Bunchoys had an entire room dedicated to making creepy Anne art." Luz responded as she sat next to said shapeshifter, eating a magical cupcake. "Coping with loss is never an easy process … lots of dark thoughts form if you don't have an answer."
"Whatever works works." Kelly patted the girl's head. "I never had a good method either. Mainly just moping in my mom's hair while eating pizza."
"Music's the only healthy coping method I have." Steven sighed. "Gardening just sent me into a needy spiral of clinginess."
"I wanna cope!" Little Ian shouted.
"... Why don't you just continue watching Dora, little guy?" Marco said awkwardly. "Swiper just showed up."
They gave an adorable gasp. "Steven, you need to stop him with a shield!"
"Right.." Her son laughed gently and rubbed his little brother's head. "Just say his name three times and he'll back off, there's no need for the shield."
The little boy once more became invested in the story. "We may not be the best role models." Star noted with a grimace.
"Tell me about it. Apparently Mariposa has blackmail on me with her innocence tainted." Marco sighed. "I didn't want her to learn about the birds and bees until high school dang it."
"It either happens too early or too late, there's no inbetween." She sighed with a small smile. "I know I delayed it far too late than I should've for Steven."
"Yeah … the image still haunts me." Her son muttered.
"Don't let that stop you from having a family." Kelly smirked as she leaned against him. "I'm more than ready to handle it. If I can get punched by a chaos god and live, childbirth seems tame by comparison."
She and Camila shared a laugh, using the wall to keep from falling over. Oh the naivety of youth, she'd spare them the pain of knowing beforehand. "We'll actually, that's something I wanted to talk to you about." Steven looked to his girlfriend, shuffling something in his pocket. "There's something I've been meaning to ask you, and I wanted to do it with all of our family around."
"Oh, there's something I've been wanting everyone to know too." Star announced, eating a giant dill pickle. "I'll wait until your done."
"No, you can say your piece first." Steven held his hands up. "My thing can wait for a second longer."
"Cool." Star nodded, finishing up her current mouthful. "I'm pregnant." The entire room crawled to a halt at the casual admission, save for the sound until little Ian and his TV.
"... What?" Moon took a double take.
"Yep, life is growing." The girl patted her stomach. "I'm one month in."
"One month!?" River fell backwards on his chair. "How did this happen!?"
"Well there was a table and some flowers, and the rest I don't feel comfortable talking about around Ian." Her baby girl shrugged, continuing to eat. "After that I've kinda been waiting for a moment to spring it … most likely when we all would almost die and have it be a tiny sliver of happiness."
"I'm going to be an aunt!" Mariposa cheered as she hugged Star, looking at her stomach. "Hey little baby, I'm Mariposa. Once you're out here I'm going to hug you all day." The sight would've been adorable if the news that came before wasn't currently melting her brain.
"But I, but wha-" Kelly was a bit floored, like Moon felt. "You didn't even marry yet!"
"What?" Star rolled her eyes. "Greg didn't get married when he had Steven."
"One, we were both so poor we literally couldn't afford it. Two, we were mostly just casual other than making Steven. Three, she was an illegal alien!" The man explained.
"What, you're saying that's a problem?" Star questioned. "Suddenly you regret how your relationship with Rose went?"
"Star, don't turn this conversation around, you're catching all of us off guard here!" Moon called her daughter out. "We didn't even know you were…" She looked to Ian, still looking at the tv. "…sexually active."
"That's kind of private biz, mom." Star rolled her eyes. "I'm in my early twenties, I can decide what I want to do on my own."
That was a fairly decent point. "Alright, but still, I wish you gave us a little heads up beforehand." Moon raised an eyebrow at her daughter. "I would've rather known that you had an interest in having kids before.." Moon looked to Steven, who slowly walked to Marco. "Steven, are you alright l?"
"Good … for you two …" Steven said with a thin smile, clutching Marco's arm.
"Steven?" The boy asked with confusion.
"I'm happy for … the both of you …"
"Steven, it's a bit tight, a tiny bit tight."
"Doing the deed …"
"MY ARM! I HEAR SNAPPING!"
"I'm a healer, you can handle a little pain." Little hints of pink flashed on Steven's skin before Star intervened and pushed him off.
"Steven, no." Star firmly stated.
"Oh like you wouldn't do the same to Kelly." He said with a flat stare.
"Yes, and you'd be in front of her doing the same thing I'm doing, so let's just cut out the bs and skip to the part where you're happy to be an uncle."
"... Should I invest in an arm brace?" The woolet asked, backing away just a tad.
"Fine, but I still wish you would've told me first before anyone else."
"Technically I did tell you first, along with everyone in the room." She justified it with a smirk. "Don't sweat it, the moment you see the baby's face, you'll instantly love him." Wait..
"Him?" Moon and everyone else that wasn't Star said at the same time.
"I know we had advancements in technology, but I don't think we had a way to determine it so early." Camila noted with a raised eyebrow. "Did you check a divination or something?"
"Crap, I forgot about the spoilers." Star mumbled under her breath.
"Spoilers for what?" Marco asked.
"Um …" The girl began running to the window, jumping out. "I've gotta start class!"
"Odd …" She turned to her husband, who was sweating just a tad. "... Do you have any idea what that was about, dear?" Moon asked with a hint of accusation.
"Look at the time, I also have a class!" River followed their daughter out the window.
"You can't piggyback on the same excuse as Star!" Moon yelled out. It was both comforting and frustrating to know her family dynamic was as strong as ever. She sighed and turned to Steven. "I believe you were in the middle of saying something before…that happened."
"Riiight." He noted. "Star's not here to see it but I guess I can just tell her later." Her son said to himself, before turning to his girlfriend. "Kelly…we've been together for a long time, through more than most people will ever go through, through harder times than most will face." He grabbed Kelly's hand. "When I met you, I was just a little kid that wanted to make a friend, and I got that and so much more. I got to meet the toughest, strongest, and most capable girl I could have ever met in the multiverse."
"Every second I'm with you I'm happy, and I want to be with you every day of my life. So …" Steven pulled out a box and got on his knees.
"Steven.." Kelly said with a small tear and smile. Was this happening? Was her son really…?
"Kelly … will you do me the honors and become … Kelly Damayo Universe Butterfly?" He opened the box, revealing a small gold ring.
"Coolest last name ever." Luz did her best not to cry at the sight.
"Steven…" Kelly said again, staring at the ring as her eyes sparkled. "YES!!" She ran forward, hugging him tightly as she kissed him over and over.
"My boy's all grown up.." Greg whipped away his tears. "I didn't think I'd ever get the chance to see this day come…I'm so grateful to see it."
"Yes! Another wedding!" Luz cheered as she immediately ran to find the wedding planner. "Don't you worry bout a thing, bro! This time the planning is all on me! I'm not gonna let a single thing go wrong!"
An explosion occurred in the distance. "WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING!" Star's voice shouted. "I'M CARRYING PRECIOUS CARGO IN ME!"
"…Maybe we should hold the wedding off until Star gives birth." Steven laughed hesitantly. "Wait for the mood swings to go away."
"Dude, as your fiancé, let me tell you…the longer we put something this important off, the more likely something terrible is going to happen." Kelly squeezed Steven's face.
"Alright, we'll do it in six months, that should be a good time, right?" He asked nervously.
"GIVE ME THAT PICKLE TRUCK!"
"I'll aim for five months just to be on the safe side." Luz gave a nod as she went through the planner. "Just to clarify, I know we're not bringing your family, but do you have any guests you wanna invite Kelly?" She asked.
"Well … there is Jorby …" Kelly rubbed her chin. "Boy, I really lost contact with him after the Meteora thing. Am I that bad at talking to friends?"
"You've just been busy for the past few years, it happens to the best of us." Steven reassured, before his eyes widened. "Crap, I think we forgot about Ponyhead."
"Nah, she and Star still keep regular contact." Marco explained. "She established her own line of party schools across Mewni, and occasionally has me appear as Turdina."
"Turdina?" Ian asked with confusion, his show now on commercials.
"Ah…long story." Marco laughed. "Just something I do to help young royal girls on Mewni."
"Ohhh." His eyes widened. "Is that why you and aunt Star walked into the bathroom while you were dressed like a princess?" Ian scratched his head. "You made a lot of weird yelling noises too, like you were wrestling."
"…How much of this house do I need to disinfect?" Camila gave an unamused glare at the Diaz child.
"And how many bones do I need to help Steven break?" Luz pulled out a few glyphs.
"Depends…how much of a head start are you willing to give me?" Marco squealed.
"Ian, would you like to help grandma Moon bake a pie?" She asked the young one, guiding him away from the bloodbath.
"Can we make one of your exploding ones?" Ian excitedly jumped up as he grabbed her hand, leading her to the kitchen.
"Maybe when you're older." She smiled down at him as she heard the distinct sound of bones snapping behind her. Even if the circumstances weren't the most ideal, she was ecstatic to have the chance to be a grandmother.
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Kelly watched as Star opened up another gift. "Aww, a baby monitor that can be heard through the protection wards … thanks you guys." She gave the Flynn-Fletcher brothers a tight hug, ignoring the fact her stomach was decently round by now. A perk to having a lot of friends was being showered in presents during special occasions.
"We figured with how our lives are, you'd need something advanced." Phineas smiled. "We offered to do the same for Candance's daughter Amanda, but she said she didn't want to risk her kid disappearing into the 'mysterious force'."
"Isn't that just what you guys have that's the opposite of Murphy's Law?" Marco asked.
"I mean pretty much, but I don't see why all the stuff we make vanishes is lucky." Ferb said with confusion. "Even with Doofenshmirtz in retirement, all our contraptions disappear."
"Super weird." Molly noted, handing over her box, which was revealed to be a contract of sorts. "A 'get out of death' free card, just in case." She laughed nervously. "Took a lot of effort to get it … saw somethings … but it's nothing." Scratch merely patted the girl's head.
"Kind of disturbing how practical this one feels, but a great gesture nonetheless." Star chuckled a bit brokenly before putting it to the side. "At least Steven won't have to worry about bringing my kid back as a pink zombie if it ever comes up."
"Yeah, after Lars, I am NEVER using that power again." Steven groaned, taking a hard drink of punch down his throat. "It puts too much existential dread on people, Lar's has just been able to fill the void with endless adventure and baking to ignore it."
"I'm totally down for it though." Jana, whose arms were full of tattoos, smirked as she leaned against Tom. "If I ever die a horrible death, you have my full permission to bring me back as a pink zombie. Anyways, here's my gift." Jana tossed over what looked like a knife, except rounded out, bulky, and plastic looking "Baby's first shank, best to get the practice in while they're young."
"Aww … how thoughtful." Star chuckled nervously as she handed it to Marco.
"What kind of kid do you think we're going to raise?" Marco asked with his eyebrow raised up.
"One that'll need to learn every conceivable way to protect themselves with how crazy our lives are." Tom answered back smoothly.
"Good point, but this isn't something a kid should have, at least when they're an infant."
"I thought you set people on fire and whacked them with maces as a kid?" Jana asked. "And beat people up for fun."
"I've come a long way from being the fight hungry battle princess. I only set things on fire every two months now." Star crossed her arms.
"Super improved I'd say." Ponyhead floated over, with a little blue seahorse on top of her head. "Even if you're gonna be too busy to party these days, B-fly. I should know. Little Cyran over here takes up most of my time when I'm not running my party school. Luckily Seahorse watches him half the week, or else I'd get no party time at all."
"Meh, I've been low-scale on parties when we didn't just survive life and death situations." Star shrugged. "Sometimes just relaxing by a fire is nice when you need it."
"Now here's my best and ultimate gift, Bestie." Star opened it up, revealing … a bottle of booze. "For the baby, a little bit to keep them sleepy when you really need it."
"....Ah…." Luz raised a finger. "Exactly…how much do you give your kid?"
"Just a bottle cap." Ponyhead answered without noticing the concern and worry in her tone. "My mom used to give my older sisters a bottle or two before she started decreasing the dosage, so I know how much to moderate."
"I'll think I'll save this for … special occasions." Star slowly put the bottle away. Feels like something she'd bring out whenever shit hits the fan again.
"Well, with that concerning image now in my head, let's move back to more practical gifts." Marinette brought out her box. "I made these ones myself."
"Baby clothes." Star looked through the gift, each one having pretty designs. "Aww, you even made mini-versions of my old clothes."
"Yep, I made sure to keep the colors gender neutral, just in case it didn't turn out to be a boy." Marrinette nodded. "You know, given how 'Marco jr' never happened."
"Oh yeah." The boy in question got wide eyes. "Can we name him Marco Junior if it's a boy, pretty please?"
"Hey, who knows?" Kelly chuckled. "On the off chance it's a girl, maybe you can call her Rebecca."
"NOOOO!" Star screamed out, making everyone pause. "Ah..sorry, mood swings in effect."
"Do you just have something against the name Rebecca?" Steven asked his sister. "This is the second time I recalled you freaking out over it."
"No, it's not that, I swear!" Star waved her hands out. "I'm pretty sure it's going to be a boy, and even if they aren't, I already have a name picked out, regardless of if they're a boy or girl."
"Aww …" Marco pouted.
"Well I guess if not a name, I can just give you my gift." Kelly handed Star a pair of mittens with a rubber fist on the end. "A good old training fist from Woolia."
"Why does everyone assume they're going to be a fighter?" Star asked out loud. "We've been aiming for multiversal peace for a reason."
"Hey, they're still practical at being mittens." Kelly explained. "And just imagine it, someone tries to sneak up on your baby while they're asleep, and BAM! They wake up shocked and instantly punch the intruder's face!"
"I really need to give our kid better role models." Star muttered before turning to Gwen, who now wore glasses. "Hey, haven't seen Ben around lately."
"Oh, since he's almost eighteen, he's getting ready for his wedding." Gwen said with a mix of a grimace and a smirk. "The boy used to complain about being single, but now he can't escape his relationship with Looma."
"Doesn't something just have to fight her in order to call it off?" Steven asked.
"Yeah, except no other man has been able to beat her, and no other girl is willing to go THAT far for my cousin." Gwen laughed. "I mean, unless YOU'RE willing to step in."
"Say that again and I'll make sure you get close and intimate with my sword." Kelly pulled up the scabbard.
"I'm sure it'll work itself out somehow." Mabel waved off. "Anyways, here's a gift from both Dipper and Me!" Mabel pulled out a giant looking book, the front cover having a pine tree symbol while the other had a shooting star one. "Half of it is 'Dipper's guide to the unexplained' while the other half is 'Mabel's guide to life!'. Everything everybody needs to know about living in this universe."
"Aww, informing my child about the necessary things in life." Star began to tear up. "And soon he'll get good grades, then graduate, then move away to college …" She cried as she hugged Marco. "They grow up so fast! Please don't let him leave Marco!"
"He's not even born yet, we have time…and we don't know if he'll be a boy!" Marco hugged Star and whipped away her tears. "Ah, does anyone have any tissues?"
"Well, guess it's time to bring out my gift." Luz chuckled as she pulled up what looked like a pail of purple mud. "It's a magical-memory abomination sludge. It's capable of being shaped into anything by anyone. Basically the little tyke will have their own personal sandbox to play around in."
"Thank you Luz." The girl, or woman at this point, bawled as they handed her some tissues. "I'm happy to have such amazing friends."
"Well, it's my turn." Steven pulled out a music box. "I made a bunch of lullabies for when you put him down for bed."
"Oh Steven….THANK YOU FOR BEING MY BROTHER!" Star's tears were beginning to flood the room.
"The kid's not even born yet, and they're already a handful." Kelly grinned as she nudged Steven in the side. "Looks like parenthood's going to be an adventure in of itself, right hubby?"
"Yep … sweetems." He blushed along with her. This fiance stuff was amazing, she couldn't wait until the actual ceremony.
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Bluebird screamed in rage as she tried cutting apart the bastard of her life. "So, have they repaired the damage to the city yet?" Said bastard, Steven Universe, asked.
"Halfway done … Moon could have at least warned us Butterflies need to be bubbled or their wild rampaging emotional magic sets half the planet into cataclysm." A floating little purple creature standing next to a black spotted human slumped as they floated in the air. "You know, I think I'll just retire from duty for the next three hundred years. I can't find a holder that's emotionally mature enough to use my powers for good."
"Yeah … we don't really know any 'stable' people as it is." The red hooded wearing boy, the one known as Marco Diaz noted. "Wait, what about Jackie? She's pretty mature, and didn't she reject you when Hawkmoth was still active that one time?"
"She does have a pretty strong will, I will give her that." The red cladded girl nodded as Bluebird summoned a storm of swords to fall on the group.. "I'll put her on the list of maybes for future cannadates. Now, are we certain we've gotten all the nanites out of the city?" All the blades were broken by the dome summoned all around them.
"I'm ninety five percent sure." A boy in orange painted. "Sorry guys, my world is kind of … a quarantine zone, so the nanites just kinda … leak in around any opening available….after all that trouble I went through to deactivate all the evo's on my earth too."
"Hey, it's easy to miss one or two details when you have god-like power, I should know." One of the more familiar faces, Ben Tennyson, another 'savior' of the universe, said. "I swear mr. smoothies haven't tasted the same ever since I recreated the universe."
"Please don't talk about that … we have a lot of ethical concerns on that as it was." Steven shuddered as they tried to throw boulders at the dome, which were crumbled to rubble by the spikes popping out of it. "So is there anything else we should worry about for today?"
"Well apparently there's a gameshow which alters the laws of physics with unwilling contestants, but we're still trying to track that down." The red suited one said, pulling out a checklist. "We're unsure if it's connected to that train that pops up everywhere and seems to go on for infinity."
"Eh, I doubt it. Two days in there did me better than three years of therapy." A dark skinned girl with leaves in her hair smirked. "Although we may need to talk about how someone made the thing in the first place …"
"As for my part I haven't been doing much." The bald guy with glasses said as Bluebird tried to just freeze the bubble over. "I've been meeting up with the old Sector V gang … it's nice to hang out with them, even if they don't remember the KND."
"Yeah, it was a hard adjustment for us when you were in space." The triangle headed kid spoke as the ice shattered like glass. "Luckily the memory erasing didn't wipe their memories of us, or the feelings of fun…honestly got scared for a second Wally would've never confessed his feelings for Kuki after that."
"And suddenly you're aware of romantic feelings, mr. 'in the friend zone with Isabella?'" The green haired boy smirked
"Should we be talking about that with the gem fusion trying to murder us?" The now sweaty triangle head asked.
"Meh, it's not like she's a threat." The Marco guy shrugged.
"I AM YOUR NIGHTMARES INCARNATE!" Bluebird screamed as she was blasted away by the bubble expanding and dissipating.
"She's kind of more pathetic and weak as a fusion than she was as just Eyeball and Aquamarine." Steven shrugged. "Guess it's true that some people just bring out the worst in each other."
"Nah, Aquamarine wasn't actually threatening. They just had a cool stick and the ability to call for reinforcements from the Diamonds." Marco answered."So how about we try and set up a bio scanner instead of a gem scanner?" He asked. "You know, promote interplanetary travel?"
"We're still dealing with world jumping criminals, even with it just being gems." Steven explained as they tried to stab him over and over, though the thick layer of lizard-like skin growing on the arm instantly broke apart the tip. "But inventing space ports does sound nice …"
"Hey wait, we have a multiverse right?" The boy in orange asked. "Does that mean that each universe has its own aliens?"
"You know Wander and Slyvia are aliens from another universe, right?" Marco asked.
"I thought they were just really crazy looking Monsters from Mewni. I'm new, nobody tells me anything until it happens." The boy in orange complained.
"Hey, I'm still trying to catch up with everyone else." An orange looking spector girl waved off. "And then there's the other universe's we're still getting to know The teen titan's universe, that gargoyle universe, even that one with freaking Princess Repunzel! The list is endless."
"Does that mean every story has its own universe?" The red one asked. "Imagine the possibilities?"
"... Crying Breakfast Friends as a universe!" Steven shouted. "Come on, let's go see it!" He shouted, before bubbling Bluebird. "Same time next week?"
"Yes." Bluebird bodded as the boy ran off. "Oh, and before I forget…CURSE YOU STEVEN QUARTZ DEMAYO UNIVERSE BUTTERFLY!"
"Oh, it's another doofenshmirtz situation, isn't it?" The triangle headed boy asked out loud.
"She's not willing to talk it out, so we just let her vent until she tuckers herself out." Steven explained.
"Hey, it could be worse." Marco said. "She could be trying to do what Emerald did to Lars."
"Yell at the top of their lungs until they hate-bone each other?" The leaf haired girl raised an eye.
"I already have a wife, I do not need a hate-bone in my life." Steven blinked. "I never thought I'd say that before."
"No one expects to say it." Marco rolled his eyes. "So should we throw her into space this time or leave her with Perry?"
"Actually I wanted to work on my aim." The boy grabbed her bubble, winding back. "Who's got the best eyes?"
"I got you covered dude." Ben Tennyson said as he slammed on the Omnitrix, transforming into an Opticoid.
"Alright, one bounced off of the lighthouse, flying through space to the gem moon base, rickoshe into the abandoned castle, and landing right into the front door of the monster kingdom."
"Must you make a game out of this?" She rolled her eye.
"You'd do the same if it was with my head." Steven countered.
"Touche."
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Lars twirled his blaster on the incursion battlefield, firing off at the stragglers still trying to take his head off "And score ten for captain Lars." Today was a good day. Destroy a warship, save a planet, flirt with Eight Eight as she tried to stab everyone, and get a stockpile of gold. "Bingo Bongo."
"You do realize that you'll have to turn in most of the loot you found to the Plumbers, right?" Rhodonite reminded him as she crouched behind a rock with her arms covering her ears. "Over half of it is stolen goods and black market trinkets."
"Yeah, but we only need money for fuel and parts anyway." He shrugged. "Gotta say, out of all the things I was expecting though, he was not it."
They all stared at the platypus wearing the compecasted Nemetrix, a device famed for giving even the 'all powerful' Ben Tennyson trouble, around his neck like a collar. "Krkrkrkr." Perry chartered as he kicked one of the Incursions in the head.
"I'm…confused….why….is he here again?" Fluorite asked as they shielded Rutile from incoming fire. It was rare for her to be around most of the time, given her thing for that hippie looking Rose Quartz, so she wasn't around when the monotreme first joined the team.
"He's here as a part of an agreement between Owca and the Plumbers. He's here to keep our captain's ego in check." Rutile answered
"My ego is not that bad-" He was cut off by a grappling hook flying by his face, hitting a would-be assassin with a blaster. "… Alright, I might have a problem."
"I predict that Lars will be embarrassed about his slip up." Paparachia chuckled as Perry used his own grapple to steer away incoming foot soldiers on her.
"This is your last chance to surrender, Lars Bariga!" The Incursion princess, Atta, shouted from a tank as she aimed right at them. "I can look past blowing up my father's ship and sending him through a black hole, I can look past you blowing up my ship, I can even look past you killing the majority of my servant detail, but I will NEVER FORGIVE you leaving me waiting by the altar!"
"It was a joke, you read into what I was implying!" Lars shouted with a hint of frustration.
"You know, once is shame on them, but this is the twelfth time a woman you've talked to that has tried to murder us." Rhodonite commented while giving him a look. "I think you have a problem Lars."
"Krkrkrkrkr." The platypus nodded.
"Don't give me that look, I'm a space pirate, the only true dedication I have now is my crew and the endless sea of stars above me." Lars groaned.
"And yet there was the night where you made Emerald scream. From your own quarters no less." Rutile unhelpfully put in her two cents.
"Hey, that day completely caught me off guard, I had no idea that's how it would've ended." Seriously, he thought his relationship with Emerald was more professional than that.
"Hello, aiming a death cannon at you!" Attea shouted. "Seriously, some people have no manners!"
"Oh right, you're still a thing." Lars sighed, turning to the monotreme of the team. "Perry, I believe this is where you step in."
"Krrrkrkrkr." The Platypus nodded before slamming his paw on the nemetrix, causing a red glow to flash over the little guy, changing into a giant snake-like creature with red eyes and colorful skin that glared at them.
"A potrocia!" A soldier shouted with a scream.
"Relax, ya?" The princess rolled her eyes. "They may be our natural predators, but they mean nothing when you can blast them to bits!"
"I predict that the princess will arrogantly think she has the upper hand with her weaponry." The orange Sapphire announced. "So distracted by her Lars-sized ego, she'll completely ignore the emp I planted when everyone was talking earlier."
"My special … model … to boot …" Fluorite smiled.
"What do you mean Lar's sized ego!?" Attea complained. "I am not that arrogant-Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!" A wave of electricity washed over the tank she was riding, making it spark, sizzle, and smoke before crashing into pieces.
With that little opportunity, Perry roared, running at them as Lars sighed in relief. "Mission complete." He smiled … before frowning. "Wait, can he handle the instincts of the animal he changes into?"
"MY ARM IS BEING FILLED WITH VENOM!"
"Looks in control to me." Rhodonite stated with a smile, before turning to him. "But seriously, you gotta stop flirting with powerful females. One these days, it's going to get you killed…again."
"I'm not even sure I can die with all the shit we've lived through." Lars responded half seriously. "Like, a rock crushed off my leg and it just grew back after a few days."
"Do you want to test that theory by being blown into space, or being shot out of a cannon into the sun, because people are petty enough to do that?" The two gem fusion countered.
"Alright, alright, I'll try and tone it down." He would make sure to keep quiet about that solo mission he took against Lord Dominator.
"We should move quickly." Paparachia cut off the conversation. "I predict Perry will soon devour an Incursean." They all paused, realizing the implications of HER saying it … before running.
"Don't eat them! It'll be bad for your health!" The split gem called out. Glad to see priorities were still in order.
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Comet Butterfly Diaz hummed as he worked, writing down the information. "Carry the six … divide by two …" It wasn't easy for the 12 year old to do homework in this house, but he always made sure to give nothing less than one hundred and fifty percent with each assignment.
"Come on Comet, this is boooring." His current headache complained. "You said you'd play with me today!" The short ten year old girl whose hair looked like mint ice cream complained in his ear.
"I said I'd look after you today. Never did I ever say I'd play with you." He sighed. "If you want we can play scrabble, but you always just tell me that game is evil, and then I have to explain to mom why the house is on fire again."
"Words aren't meant to connect so easily! There's an evil message being spelled everytime we play!"
"You've been messing with Aunt Luz's oracle potions again, haven't you?" Comet observed without turning his head from his work. "We shouldn't mess with space time, Rebecca. You know how bad uncle Steven had it back when Omnitraxus Prime was alive."
"Come on, cousin Ian messes with all the magic all the time with Mariposa! Why can't I!?"
"I never said messing with magic, I said messing with space time. One can make you a nice toasty bed, the other destroys reality so that your mom and dad never met each other." Comet turned to his younger cousin. "Plus Ian's sixteen and your ten, he can make smart.." He thought about what he was about to say. "He can make well thought…" No, that wasn't it either. "He can make decisions and live with the consequences." There we go.
"Well what about you?" She asked. "Why don't you do cool magic stuff?"
"Not interested in crazy fighting." He rolled his eyes. "I prefer to heal people, you realize that right?"
"And yet you still go out on adventures with Rocka and Narfcy." Rebecca smirked.
"You know Rocka's a special case for your dad." He sent her a glare. "I'm just trying to help.
"Oh yeah, I know that for sure …" The little trouble maker smiled as she reached under his bed, pulling out a book. "And all the images you draw of her are just for reference, riiiight?"
"Shut up, or I tell Daron of all the dolls you made out of his hair." Comet threatened.
"Psh, please. After learning about Jana's voodoo powers, I made dolls out of everyone's hair."
"... Where did you get my hair?"
"You scratch your head a lot when you're stressed for an exam." She grabbed a strand and yanked it off of him. "I'll just save that one for Azura to use later." She giggled evilly before looking at him. "Come on, everyone knows you're a complete nerd already, you can look away from homework for one day. One day off isn't going to erase that rep no matter what you do."
"No, Because I know the moment I step outside, something weird is going to happen." Comet put his foot down. "Your mom could come back from Ooo infected with a zombie plague, the diamonds could come for family dinner, Toffee could come back as a ghost, literally nothing is off the table."
"Mariposa and Meteora could sooo take on Toffee if he came back." Rebeca rolled her eyes. "Now come on, let's do something exciting, like multiversal travel."
"Unfortunately for you, I'm not interested in that." He patted her head. "Now even if you mind, I'm getting headphones."
"Booo, you're so boring, cuz."
"Boring but satisfied." Comet called out as he went down the stairs. "Not everyone wants to drink ten gallons of sugar and float for two hours in the void."
"Aww, but the void is where I get my best ideas. Like the double bacon sandwich." The grease alone would kill an elephant.
"Well I'll be eating something that'll give me less of a heart attack, thank you very much." He looked to the kitchen table, seeing his maternal parent looking over a stack of books. "Hey mom."
"Good afternoon, sweetie. I take it that you're working hard." His mother chuckled as she marked a page of one the books with a highlighter.
"Trying to, there's certain pests in my room that would rather have it otherwise." He glared at the stairs.
"Don't be too hard on Rebecca, Comet. I was just like her back in the day." His mom reminded him. "It's just the youthful energy playing its course."
"Mom, the fact you and dad survived that much energy is nothing short of a miracle from the …" He paused. "What exactly do we believe in again? Corn Gods?"
"There's the kwami's and the stump, and Uncle Grandpa.." His mom shivered at that last name. "Everyone else is a jerk, so we try to acknowledge them as little as possible."
He nodded. "Hey, Comet!" Rebecca shouted. "You're rooms kinda …"
"If you say 'on fire', I reserve the right to punch you!" He called back.
"Oh, good thing it's just covered in centipedes then!" His cousin yelled down.
"When is uncle Steven going to come back and deal with her?" Comet sagged his shoulders in defeat.
"His band just got done performing a show in the Andromeda system, so he should be back right about.." A flash from the living room could be heard as the man himself came out of the warp pad. "Now. How was the concert, bro?"
"I have good news and bad news." Uncle Steven chuckled nervously. "Good news is that the concert went off without a hitch."
"What's the bad news?" His mom asked.
"The diamonds were there to see it, and now they're coming over for dinner."
"If anything else, Yellow can zap those bastards to dust." Comet muttered. "How has your house survived this long?"
"If it's durable enough to withstand me getting nightmares, nothing can scratch it." The man chuckled a bit weakly as a ceiling tile fell on top of him. "Rebecca, did you bring giant centipedes into the house again?" Uncle Steven called to his daughter
"They were just so cute when I fed them my pizza crust!"
"Maybe, but what's the first rule of keeping pets in the Universe-Butterfly Family home?"
"...If they shoot acid, laser, fire, or explosions, keep them at the family barn until they're properly trained." His little cousin sighed.
"You're going to need to up the size of that place. The last time I was dragged there I could barely move two feet before I was tackled." Comet commented. "So, should I get the earplugs you wear for Diamonds Mom?"
"Eh, they only talk to your uncle and his family, just act like they're not there and you should be fine."
"I know, I meant for you." He reiterated. "The last time they brought up that interdiamond multiversal invasion you flipped out and nearly took out Beach Creek."
"Why would you want to stop that?" Rebecca asked as she came down, distinct roaring heard from his room. "The fireworks were amazing!"
"Yes they are, but sometimes things can get a little too amazing." Steven picked his daughter up. "If you don't learn to control your amazingness, then people's heads will explode from the wondrous excitement, so best to learn now."
"Oh, I wanna have my head explode!" She said, her hair frizzing into a ball. "Like kapow and kaboom!"
"... Oh my corn, your hair powers are coming in!" Steven shouted with joy. "We need to go tell your Mom!"
"Glad having Rebecca made him less stressed out, I get to scrapbook a lot more cute pictures." His mom snapped a photo of the sight.
"Maybe Dad had a point about the balance of life. One man's stress is another man's stress relief." Comet snarked. "Well, I'm gonna go to clean my room. I'll be ready to leave by six."
"You should really learn to let loose more Comet, it did wonders for your dad." Mom ruffled his hair.
"Yeah, do you really want me to spend sixteen years in another dimension while entering a back and forth flirtatious relationship with a feisty immortal woman?" He asked skeptically.
"Wait, so you're not dating Rocka already?"
"WHY DOES EVERYONE ASSUME THAT!?"