Kasenhis sighed. "How about this. Before you go on a date with Madame Maxime, take a walk around with me first. I'll explain the current layout of Hogwarts and all the alchemical equipment to you. After that, you can go on your date."
"Huh? Why?" Hagrid asked, completely confused.
"If she asks you why Hogwarts can stand up and move, how are you going to answer?" Kasenhis asked.
"Alchemy," Hagrid replied.
"Mm-hm. But specifically? For example, what does each piece of alchemical equipment do, and what are they called?"
"That's something I'd have to ask you about. And that should count as Hogwarts's secrets, right? I definitely can't tell her that," Hagrid shook his head.
"In fact, the reason she agreed to go on a date with you this time might be precisely to find out that information. Of course, she definitely does love you too. You don't need to doubt that," Kasenhis added.
"But I can't use Hogwarts's secrets to satisfy my own romantic pursuits either… that's not something a Hogwarts professor should do!" Hagrid suddenly raised his voice, as if Kasenhis had just accused him of instinctively betraying Hogwarts's interests.
Even though, in truth, that probably would happen anyway—just unconsciously.
"Don't worry, just speak freely. There are quite a few people who can make alchemical devices like these, but assembling them together and taking things this far? I'll just say this: aside from me, even Nicolas Flamel couldn't do it," Kasenhis said.
"Alright then," Hagrid nodded. "So… are we heading out now?"
"Yeah. We'll start from the Great Hall," Kasenhis walked over, pressed a hand on Hagrid's shoulder, and the two of them Ender-teleported straight to the front gates of Hogwarts. Behind the gates was the Entrance Hall, and beyond that, the Great Hall.
They spent the entire afternoon walking through nearly every part of Hogwarts that had been upgraded with alchemical equipment.
"Did you remember it all?" Kasenhis asked Hagrid during dinner as he sat beside him.
"I remember, I remember… uh… wait… what's the thing above our heads right now again?" Hagrid asked, having just remembered it one moment and forgotten it the next.
"...A gyroscope. It's used to maintain the balance of the Hogwarts Titan," Kasenhis said, speechless.
"Right, right, got it. No problem," Hagrid nodded seriously.
"Well, hopefully your date with Madame Maxime goes smoothly. Oh right, when are you heading out?" Kasenhis suddenly asked.
"I'll go pick her up once dinner's over," Hagrid replied.
"Wow. You two really don't waste any time," Kasenhis sighed.
Everyone began to enjoy dinner. For Kasenhis himself, eating was not a task meant to maintain vital signs, but an important and happy part of life.
Unfortunately, there were always people who wanted to ruin that happiness.
For example, at this very moment, a whole flock of owls burst into Hogwarts carrying stacks of Daily Prophet special editions.
Kasenhis ate as usual, casually picked up a newspaper, and started reading.
This issue of the Daily Prophet was rare in that it ran a double headline, and both headlines were outrageously eye-catching.
The first one… emmm… Hermione, Ron, Krum, and Miss Harley, plus Draco, in a five-way romantic entanglement.
That's right. In this report, Ron was bisexual.
In short, Harry and Ron were a couple, Hermione and Ron were also a couple, and Ron was juggling two relationships. But after Harry turned into Harley, gained stunning looks, and grew dissatisfied with poor Ron, she latched onto the wealthy Draco instead.
Ron's two-timing was then discovered by Hermione.
With things coming to this point, Hermione helplessly accepted Krum's invitation as the rebound option.
But Ron couldn't accept losing two lovers in succession. Unable to compete with the deeply entrenched Malfoy family in England, he chose to bully the foreigner Krum instead.
Using magic, he snatched Hermione back from Krum.
A truly absurdly melodramatic story, just like that.
The second matter was Hagrid selling out the school for love.
The Hogwarts Titan was a world-shaking event across the entire magical community. Even the Muggle leaders of various countries knew about it.
But Hagrid, as Hogwarts's professor of Care of Magical Creatures, had relied on his bit of personal connection with the Alchemy professor to use despicable means to pry some of the alchemical secrets out of him, planning to hand them over to Madame Maxime in exchange for financial affection.
That was the article.
It was even more outrageous and sensational than the previous five-way romance, going so far as to brand Hagrid himself as a traitor to Britain.
"I could tell who wrote this just using my toes," Kasenhis said, the newspaper in his hand turning white from how tightly he was gripping it.
"This is complete nonsense!" Hagrid fumed, smashing the newspaper as he turned to look for Kasenhis, only to find that he had already vanished. "Professor Kasen—"
"Where did he go?" Hagrid asked.
"Someone's about to be unlucky," Professor McGonagall explained.
"Possibly dead. I can sense a trace of killing intent," Snape added.
...
Swoop!
"I gave you two chances. Let me think. The first time was when you smeared Dumbledore. I buried you alive," Kasenhis suddenly appeared in Rita Skeeter's home, binding her in a web the instant he appeared.
"Then the second time… let me think… not long ago, you smeared Harry Potter. Back then, I had Arthur bury you and your photographer. Now this is the third time. What do you think I should do?" Kasenhis said, taking a deep breath.
Only now did Rita truly realize who the culprit was behind her being dealt with in person twice in a row. For a moment, she was so furious she nearly exploded.
But she quickly let out a cold laugh. "So what? The paper's already been published. There's no taking it back… at worst, I'll give you an apology in the next issue. Let me calculate it. Next month I can probably spare a fingernail-sized corner to write an apology."
She had already made up her mind.
So what if she got buried again?
It was nothing serious.
Compared to the five-figure Galleon payment the Daily Prophet gave her for an article, let alone being buried, even being stuck in a flowerpot as a potted plant for the Daily Prophet wouldn't be unacceptable.
But Kasenhis shook his head. "No. I didn't come this time to make you apologize."
"Hm?" Rita Skeeter looked at Kasenhis in confusion.
Then Kasenhis slowly took out a sword blade shimmering with a purple glow. "I should congratulate you. You're receiving the same treatment as Minister of Magic Fudge."
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