"What does it mean to be lonely?" I pondered aloud. "Is loneliness born from being alone, or does it only arise when we long for companionship? I think being surrounded by people you don't love can be the loneliest kind of solitude. I crave my own space, yet I fear the ache of loneliness."
She smiled softly at my words, her expression a blend of warmth and sadness, as if she were trying to unravel my confusion. "You long for solitude, yet beneath that desire lies a yearning for connection. If you truly wished to vanish into your own solitude, wouldn't you have done so by now?"
Her insight pierced through my defenses. I felt the sting of truth in her words, and I wanted to recoil. "I don't want to be alone," I finally admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. "But if we could share solitude, perhaps we wouldn't feel so lonely, right?"
I couldn't help but laugh, a burst of genuine humor that felt both liberating and painful. "Pfft Ha! What does that even mean?" I let the laughter escape, harder than I thought possible, even as it stung my raw emotions. There was hurt spilling out like a wound, it hurt, it hurts, i'm hurting. yet within it, a flicker of happiness danced.
"Stop laughing... heh, heh... really," she said, her laughter mingling with mine.
"Why am I… crying?" I blinked in disbelief as tears began to fall, each one heavy with unspoken fears. "I'm not alone, and I'm not lonely, but I'm terrified."
She grasped my rough, bloodied hands with a gentleness that contradicted their state. "I... I'm sorry," she whispered, her gaze dropping, brimming with unspilled tears.
Confused, I reached out to brush away a tear that clung to her cheek. "I don't want to die," I confessed, the weight of vulnerability pulling me down.
And just when I thought I was losing myself completely, she grounded me with unwavering resolve. "Don't worry. I won't let you."
†
"I....."
"Eii?...."
"Mei!!",
His voice jerked her back to reality. "Uh... Ryo-bai? You're here." She seemed lost in thought, like someone just waking from a dream. Concern crossed his face. "Are you crying?"
Surprise flickered across her features before she quickly shook her head and wiped her cheeks. "You're imagining things. Now, let's get down to business."
He sensed her reluctance to delve deeper, and he didn't want to push. "Yeah, you asked me to find this room, but it's eerily quiet at night. I've checked my back so many times, worried someone might jump out at me."
Her skeptical gaze pierced through him. "Really? Is that how men are these days?"
"Don't underestimate dark places. Caught off guard, gender doesn't matter."
She sighed, "If you're scared, just say so, no need for excuses."
He held his tongue, knowing they needed to focus on the conversation, not the teasing.
she wanted to talk right? Not berate me.
"Okay since you're here, I'm sure you already get the gist of why we're having this conversation, and why our current situation is a predicament", she eased them back into the conversation they were supposed to have, before he could, which in a way stung him more,
Which conversation do you mean? The one where you belittle me or the one that questions my very existence?
Ryo's stoicism was legendary, yet she somehow knew how to push his buttons.
"Well, we're in uncharted territory," he continued, nostrils flaring. "We need every lily from each isle for this page.' We lack information, power, and a coherent plan. Right?"
Her shocked expression was comical, her hands clapping rhythmically as if he'd just performed magic. "Wow, Ryo-bai, you've really outdone yourself!"
"Like I'm ever that careless to deserve praise for stating the obvious," he retorted, irritation bubbling beneath his calm exterior.
Her laughter danced in the air. "Yeah, I know, I'm just messing with you. You're not clueless, at least not in my experience." Her confidence unsettled him; she seemed to know him better than she ought to, despite her façade of distance.
"And don't call me that."
She held up her hands in mock surrender, her smirk challenging him. "Anyway, understanding our situation is different from navigating it. Aetherion says we need allies, but trust isn't built in five months, especially when everyone here has their own agenda. Just look at us, you're skeptical of me, and I'm still unsure if you're worth trusting, considering you look like... well, you know, that."
—Hk.
She wasn't wrong; he would never trust him either, but the same could be said for her. Dismissing his offended expression, she pressed on. "But even so, we're here now because circumstances have forced us into some kind of alliance. Still, that method isn't practical not in this safe haven of an isle. You understand what I'm trying to say, right?"
He knew exactly what he had to do, yet the notion of forming connections felt foreign to him. For someone like him who valued little and respected even less, it was profoundly difficult to reach out. also factoring in the age differences of the people summoned here.
"So, what you're saying is we need to break out of our shells and talk to people?" he replied, frustration lacing his words.
She shook her head, her tone firm. "I'm not suggesting you suddenly become all buddy-buddy with everyone. But if we can gradually ease into alliances with multiple people, our chances of survival will improve. Imagine being surrounded by a couple of allies we can actually trust to watch our backs when things go south. Though, I admit, it might not be that easy."
He nodded slowly. "I get it. But that's not the only thing we need to think about."
As she moved toward a table in the corner of the room, she grabbed a notebook, her demeanor shifting to one of determination. "We need a workout plan," she declared, her posture radiating confidence.
He blinked. "A plan? Are you serious? What do you mean by 'workout plan'? Are you on a diet or something?"
Her expression shifted, a hint of uncertainty creeping in. She exhaled slowly, "I'm not suggesting we start a bodybuilding routine. What I mean is we have to train, really train. This facility offers us a chance to refine every aspect of our scenario. Given our experience so far, we should focus on sharpening what we know. A little physical conditioning wouldn't hurt, either. Our scenarios push our bodies to adapt, and a solid workout would complement that."
Ryo raised an eyebrow, a teasing lilt in his voice. "So, what you're really saying is that you just want to hit the gym? Kind of ironic, considering that from what I remember, you never struck me as the 'gym rat' type."
She chuckled softly, a genuine smile breaking through. "I've always wanted to try it! Is that so strange? Just because I haven't done it before doesn't mean I shouldn't want to. Plus, I've read that exercise can really improve our mental focus."
He made a face that suggested he was unimpressed. "Sure, you go for it, you daredevil. But why do I have to tag along? Anyway, let's get back to the matter at hand. We need to figure out how to make the most of our… experience."
Her playful demeanor returned as she nodded. "Alright, let's start by listing everything we know about our scenario progression and kardiamagia. From there, we can develop a plan."
"Sounds like a plan to me," he replied, his eyes glinting with renewed focus.
Ryo had been reluctant to bring it up, but the weight of it hung over him throughout their conversation. "Before we go on, I have to ask, what was that back there?" He studied her face, watching as she fought to suppress a tide of emotions. "You seemed like you were holding back a lot."
Her expression hardened into something more distant. "I don't know why you feel the need to pry," she replied coolly. "Whatever it was doesn't concern you. Let's continue with the plan."
He hesitated, sensing the finality in her tone, but couldn't shake the nagging feeling that beneath her facade lay something deeper. "I get it. I won't push," he said softly. Yet, as she turned away, he caught a fleeting glimpse of uncertainty in her eyes, hinting that maybe, just maybe, there was more she wasn't saying.