Hot water dripped down the planes of Hollis's body as he stood up in the tub and reached for the towel. Slicking his hair back, he pulled the plug and hypnotically watched the water drain as he carefully dried himself off, careful to blot the left side of his rear gently. Glancing in the mirror, he frowned at the purple bruising that had begun forming since his training session with Azriel. He hadn't thought he'd hit the ground that hard, but he supposed the dirt was harder here in comparison to the Night Court.
Stepping from the tub, he dressed in a white button-down and black slacks, pursing his lips into a thin line as he examined the sparkle of his tattoo. It didn't seem to matter what lighting he was in; it shimmered regardless. With the knowledge that Nova was still fast asleep since he last checked on her, he finished lacing his shoes and raked his fingers through his hair before leaving to attend dinner.
No Illyrian Warriors guarded his door, and they hadn't since the attack on Velaris.
A slight smile quirked his lip, and then it dropped again in an instant. His gain was Nova's loss; he couldn't celebrate his freedom when so much had been taken in its place. Still pondering the sentiment, he entered the dining hall, where almost every seat was filled.
They'd already begun the meal as he'd been a bit late, but the place he would usually sit (next to one of his parents) was taken, forcing him to either sit beside Cassian or Nesta.
Hollis sat next to the burly Illyrian without question, suddenly aware of the heat of everyone's gaze. Glancing up, he met Feyre's curious gaze and then Rhysand's, but he wasn't looking at him directly. Instead, he was fixated on his hands.
"It was successful, then?" Feyre asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
Nodding, Hollis offered his left arm to the table, folding back the white fabric to reveal the glittering vines.
"They each share the same Moonflower, but Nova's vines are sparkling white." Gwyn supplied. "I've never seen its equal."
Rhysand nodded slowly, glancing up at Hollis's damp hair and then back down at his wrist. "No Ribbon?"
"Hm?" Hollis asked, sensing others from the Night Court stiffen. "Oh," he blinked and stammered. "No, uhm…"
Hollis looked to Gwyn, who smiled behind her glass before he addressed Nova's parents. "Nova said…tradition can fuck itself. Respectfully."
It was his mother who burst into tearful laughter, hands over her mouth, as Rhys smirked and Gwyn snorted into her cup. Without waiting, Hollis pulled his sleeve back down and scooped a tiny portion of green beans onto his plate. The table spreads were lacking in quantity these days, as they've portioned their reserves, and with those who were taking refuge in the Night Court now back, their supplies had dwindled considerably.
"Thesan responded to my message," Kallias said, dabbing his mouth with the cloth napkin. "He's extended our meeting time by a month. So that we can take note if there has been a difference in our Courts."
Feyre shook her head, "This descent has been happening for more than a decade. It may take just as long to see a difference in its healing."
"I agree, but he suggested a monthly meeting to keep track of the changes. If anything, we'll at least see if it's getting worse."
Swallowing his bite of chicken, Rhys nodded. "Speaking of letters, Helion will arrive tomorrow to help Nova with her healing."
Hollis cringed and nodded, seeing the sweat on her forehead from the pain of not taking the tonic, brought a terrible ache to his chest. Then, he asked, "How's Velaris?"
"They're doing well rebuilding. Helion and Tarquin sent a few of their own to aid in our absence," she paused, "Most who…perished have been put to rest."
Kyra furrowed her brow; she was the only one of Nova's group who came to the Winter Court. She stared down at her meager meal and tapped her fork against the plate's edge. "It's killing Finch not to do the same for Peter…"
"We'll have a proper ceremony soon," Rhysand murmured. "I will do as Finch requests. Bran recently informed me he'd rather wait for now, as difficult as it is. If he decides to put him to rest before Nova can attend, then that's what we'll do."
Rhysand understood.
He truly did.
Finch losing Peter was the equivalent of him losing Azriel or Cassian. Blood didn't make them brothers, kinship did, and he knew the despair and fear of losing them well.
Nodding, Kyra pushed the food around her plate, and Hollis watched her for some time. It hadn't occurred to him until now that she hadn't been eating much lately. As if reading his mind, Kyra glanced his way, forced a smile, and put the fork of food in her mouth. Hollis forced a tight smile in return that didn't reach his eyes and returned to his plate.
This could be the turning point, at least. The union was complete, and now they only needed to wait for the river waters to run clean again and the crops to grow. It would get better.
It had to.
The rest of dinner was a quiet event, and Hollis was happy to retire to bed shortly after, but on his way to the winding stairs, he paused at the mouth of his father's study and entered. He'd been in here when they were searching for Nova, when his father's maps had come to be useful, but during its presentation to the Night Court, he'd had to admit what the X's meant.
The palace had been deadly quiet that night.
Still, Hollis found himself sitting down in the leather chair behind the desk and sighed, staring at the little compartments, vividly remembering the first time he'd explored his father's study.
"What do you think?" His father asked after setting him down in a chair that spun.
A bubble of laughter escaped Hollis as he spun in a quick circle. "It's too big. I can't reach it."
Smiling, Kallias pushed the seat in further, so that Hollis's chin barely passed the edge. "Well, one day it will belong to you."
Hollis looked up with wide, sparkling eyes. "I can have the chair?"
Laughing, Kallias nodded, "Yes…and the Winter Court."
With raised brows, Hollis shook his head as a panic settled in his belly. "I'm only five!"
Kallias shook his head and grinned his snowy white smile, lifted him, and sat on the chair before settling Hollis on his lap. He scooted forward and touched the map in front of them.
"This is a map of Prythian. We live here," he touched the Winter Court, "And there will eventually come a day when you will rule over our people. Not for a very long time, Hollis," he said gently as he could feel the anxiety seeping from him. "Your mother and I will teach you everything you need to know before that happens."
Hollis took a deep breath and nodded as he looked over the expansive map. "What is this place called?" He asked, touching the island far to the left, separated from everyone else.
Frowning, Kallias nodded, "That Island belongs to King Hybern," he murmured. "He is not good, Hollis. There are some in this world who would rather watch people suffer for their own gain. This is not the ruler we are to be. We need to be just…fair. Kind and warm."
"It's never warm here." Hollis looked up at him with a frown.
Kallias chuckled and shook his head, "Not warm as in temperature. Warm as the feeling."
"How can a feeling be warm?"
"Well," he smiled, "I feel very warm when I watch your mother read to you at night. It makes my heart very happy."
"Oh, like a hug."
Smiling, he nodded. "Yes, you can have warm feelings from a hug."
"I don't know if I can be a High Lord." Hollis frowned. "I don't think I'm brave enough. Not like you. Nieve says I'm too scared to do anything."
"Oh, that isn't true. Everyone finds their courage in different ways. Sometimes we need the right person in our life to help us be brave."
"Does someone make you brave?"
Kallias nodded with a small smile and pressed a soft kiss to his temple. "You and your mother."
Stepping into the study, Viviane smiled, "Time for bed."
Hollis giggled, holding onto his father's arms. "Just a little longer?"
"You said just a little longer a long while ago," she grinned, shaking her head as she snatched him up in her arms, earning a string of giggles from him.
Still laughing, Hollis looked at his father upside down, "You said you were brave!"
"Oh, I am brave for your mother, not against her." Kallias grinned, watching them with affection as she left with him, his laughter ringing like bells through the hall.
"It's been a long day," his father's voice met his ears, and Hollis looked up to see him watching him, leaning against the door jam.
Hollis nodded, but he didn't have the energy to force another smile. He said nothing as his father took the vacant seat near the window and looked through the frost-bitten glass.
"I'm sorry, Hollis."
Frowning, he shook his head. "There's nothing anyone could have done. We all knew this day was coming."
"Still," he frowned, looking at him. "I wish the circumstances had been different. It was always our intention to give you the choices that the generations previously were denied. We wanted more than anything for you to choose your person. To say your vows under the oath of love, not necessity, and I'm sorry it didn't end that way."
Hollis nodded slowly, his finger lightly stroking the grain of wood as he said, "If they hadn't attacked…if they'd allowed us more time with each other, I don't doubt we could have grown something between us. If the last ten years had been visits and bonfires and parties, then this wouldn't feel so…awful."
"It was our plan initially," Kallias nodded with a furrowed brow.
"Now it just feels wrong. How…" He swallowed the lump in his throat. "How can this not end in some sort of resentment? I've taken her freedom…"
Kallias leaned forward with a frown, "You've done no such thing, and Nova knows that. When you arrived with her, you called her your mate. Was that true? Did you feel yourself connect with her?"
Sparing a glance at his father, Hollis nodded. "Yes." He did feel it, he felt it even now. He could tug that golden thread tied between them. "She's not mentioned it, though."
They shared a moment of silence before Kallias sighed softly, "I know you're tired of hearing this, but give it time. The ceremony is complete, and as unfortunate as the circumstances are, there is some victory in it. We can't always have what we want, but we can try to make the best of a terrible situation."
Hollis nodded, unable to meet his eyes for some time. His father was right, of course. There had to be a break in the storm, and maybe this was it. They had an entire month until they met with the other High Lords, and time had a way of changing things that Hollis couldn't quite explain.
"I killed someone." Hollis finally said. "And I always thought I wasn't capable of it. Never believed I could be."
"You protected Nova…" Kallias began, but Hollis cut him off.
"I know, and I'd do it again," he finally met his eyes, "I can be brave for her."
Nova woke sometime in the middle of the night. She couldn't see the clock, but judging by the distance of the moon from the horizon, she'd say it was a couple of hours yet until sunrise.
Unable to turn her body in bed, she slowly looked over at Madja, who slept soundly on the cot Hollis had provided her at the beginning of her stay. Since she'd arrived, she'd given her around-the-clock attention, and as grateful as Nova was for it, a terrible sense of guilt gurgled in her belly.
It was alright to be hurt.
To take up space.
But that logic didn't stop intruding thoughts that she was a burden on them. Unable to take care of herself. She couldn't wash herself…use the toilet herself. She hadn't been out of this bed since she arrived. Yet, so many others were much worse off than her.
Many were dead.
She needed to do something- anything that could help. If she could just find enough strength in her legs to stand, but even the thought of that made her cringe. Already her body craved more tonic, the horrible throbbing beginning to ebb its way throughout her body again.
A soft, familiar voice cut through the darkness before she could dare push a foot through the covers.
"I wouldn't advise you to attempt what you're thinking." Her father's voice came to her like a curl of smoke in the darkness.
Turning to look at the broad windows again, she stared at the figure to the left, nestled in the corner in an armchair. How he was reading the heavy tome in this lighting was beyond her.
Nova blinked, "How did you hear my thoughts?"
"Your mental shields have weakened considerably," Rhys nodded, closing his book with a soft thud, and set it aside on the table next to him. "But I do need to address something." He murmured, violet eyes lit like a flame as he leaned forward. He then said, "You are not a burden."
Nova tightened her jaw and turned her head to look away from him, but instead of lingering in his corner, he stood and quietly crossed the room and kneeled at her bedside.
"Nova…look at me."
With effort, Nova slowly turned her reddened eyes on him, examining the planes of his face. Though his brow was rigid with worry, his gaze was soft with affection.
"The things that happened are not your fault. You do not hold claim over the outcome of someone else's actions. You are allowed to grieve. You are allowed to be sad…and angry."
Nova glanced up at him sharply, fighting the heat behind her eyes with difficulty.
"I couldn't save him," Nova shook her head. "I wasn't fast enough. Wasn't strong enough. Now he's gone along with so many others, and the only reason that happened was because I didn't know what was going on. I could have prevented all of this from happening if I had been told. Peter wouldn't have died, and Zaylor wouldn't have been able to…" Nova's voice caught in her throat. She paused, took a deep breath, and quietly said, "She should have told me."
"I don't disagree," Rhys nodded with a frown. "You had the right to know, but I also know that while Nesta has her faults, as do I and all the rest of us, I know she never intended for this to happen. As devised as her plan was, there were too many variables she didn't consider. Assuming Beron hadn't been behind the first attack wasn't wise, but I also know the mistakes she made are ones she regrets."
"Then she can live in her regret."
Rhysand nodded, "The only thing I want to remind you of, not in her defense, but the defense of others…do not let her betrayal ruin your trust in others. There are going to be people in your life who come and go, who say and do terrible things, no matter how well you treat them. Don't lose your faith in the idea of community because of one. It will ruin you…your soul. Each downfall is meant to make you wiser, not bitter."
Nova fell quiet, staring at her tattoo, lost in thought.
Gently, Rhys tapped the Moonflower, "As much as we wanted to protect you from this, now you, in your decision, have protected everyone else. It's a very selfless thing to do."
Nova managed a small smile, "The only good thing to come from this is that, for the sake of others. It haunts me to know it's forever. I never had intentions to be married, at least not for a very long time." She sighed and leaned back further into her pillows, trying to ease the escalating pain in her back. "I wanted to travel. Perfect different skills."
"You still can," Rhysand nodded with a frown, "Don't allow the weight of a bond to limit your spirit. You can do all those things and more with or without Hollis."
Pursing her lips, Nova watched as his hands moved to concoct another tonic for her, likely shown earlier by Madja.
"What's he like?" Nova asked softly. "I don't intend to hate him."
If she were to share a lifelong, asbond with him, she'd at least like to know a little more. The only thing she did know was that he was the Prince of the Winter Court and, as supplied by Kyra at the bonfire, had an abusive relationship. Other than that, she knew nothing of his character, aside from watching him walk through the frigid temperatures to deliver food to starving animals…and brought her sticky buns because he thought she might like them…
"I've kind of been a bitch to him."
Rhysand pursed his lips and fought a small smile. "He has a good heart."
After Nova took the first sip of the tonic, her father patted her leg gently, "Helion will be here in just a few hours. He's going to help heal your spine." But Nova stopped listening halfway through the tonic, the relief rippling through her body as her eyelids began closing without her permission.
It was broad daylight when she opened them again to the sound of voices in the hall leading to her room. The pain was already beginning to surface again – at this point, it was just getting annoying.
"Nova?" Madja asked, pushing the door open and stepping inside. "High Lord Helion is here."
Beyond her shoulder stood Helion, and just behind him was Hollis. He didn't move to walk inside, but instead kept himself against the wall in the hallway.
"Finally," Nova said before she could stop herself.
Chuckling, Helion approached her bedside and carefully took her hand in his, "Hm, I'm glad to see you alive, but grieved to hear of your suffering. I might not be able to restore all your strength, but I can mend you well enough to ease the pain." His gaze skirted her right arm and tilted his head with curiosity before laying his other hand over the other, encasing her in a gentle grip. It was then that a soft golden glow lit through them, growing in intensity and warming every fiber of her being.
Nova gasped softly and finally, for the first time in so long, was able to breathe in deeply without piercing pain to her ribcage. Her lungs didn't struggle to expand. She could have cried from the relief.
"Thank you…" She breathed.
"It is my pleasure," Helion smiled softly. "You'll still need to be careful. It will take time to rebuild your strength. You mustn't overexert yourself."
Nova nodded, though she was already thinking of what she might be able to do on her own now. To do something without Madja's immediate assistance.
"I'll see you again soon. In the meantime, rest. You did much for your people, and I imagine there will be a day soon when more will be required."
Glancing up at those words, Nova frowned, but didn't respond as he retreated downstairs.
Helion sighed as he entered the drawing room and nodded to the room, "She still has a ways to go, but she'll be on a better path of healing now."
"Thank you, Helion. Truly," Feyre murmured.
"Of course," Helion glanced over as Hollis moved into the room and stood against a far wall, "I do have news from Eris."
Everyone leaned forward with interest as Helion sat down and continued, "The Autumn Court has opened its borders again, and they're exporting their goods. One thing Beron was truthful about was the amount they've stored, but he wasn't distributing it to his Court. He'd been saving it for only those in his direct bloodline. Fortunately, there's more than enough to give a little relief for all the Courts, but it will need to be managed wisely until the crops begin to grow again."
Viviane smiled, "That's wonderful news. Do you believe him to be an admirable leader?"
"I think anyone in Beron's place will be suitable for now. Is there news about Tamlin?" He asked with a slight frown.
"He still resides within the Prison," Rhysand supplied, "I didn't dare approach him yet. Not until we heard what the other Courts wanted to do. If his actions were indeed controlled, then I can see no reason to keep him there."
Kallias frowned softly, "He's been a prisoner of himself since Amarantha. I agree. He should be helped, not made to suffer for what was forced upon him.
Frowning, Ana asked, "What would that mean for Lucien and Elain?"
"Lucien is a High Lord heir; they could maintain their positions, couldn't they?" Feyre smiled softly at Helion, "I always had my suspicions, but I'm happy to know for certain he shares your blood and not Beron's."
Mor furrowed her brow, "Tamlin wouldn't be fit to rule a Court. Not as he is now."
"We cannot exclude him completely," Rhysand frowned.
Kallias counted, "And if he is released, whose Court would he reside in? The Spring Court…under a new High Lord? I don't see that working well."
Nodding, Helion nodded, "That sounds like a problem for another day. Let's take time to think and then discuss it when we meet again in the Dawn Court."
A sudden crash from above sent Rhys and Feyre to their feet. Az, Cas, and Hollis were already dashing up the stairs when they heard Nova yell out, "I'm okay!"
Upon entering her room, Madja leaned over Nova, who was sitting on the floor, and her silver tray, with the food set neatly on it, was scattered everywhere.
Nova looked up at Az and Cas, carefully stepped up to her sides as Madja moved to the left, and together they brought her up to her wobbly legs. The others walked in just in time for Madja to scold her.
"I turned my back for one moment. Nova, you are not ready to walk yet. This family." She huffed as she left to gather something from the bathroom.
Cas sighed, helping her back into bed, and shook his head with a small smile, "Do you need a babysitter?"
"I felt good," Nova gritted her teeth, some of the pain from earlier seeping back in, but not nearly as intense. "I thought I could handle. Just a few steps."
"Babysitter, it is," Cas grumbled as Az fought a slight smirk.
Steam drifted from the bathroom as she listened to the water pelt against the shower. It was warm and inviting, but Nova found herself adhered to the bed. Not literally, but she may as well have been the way her weakened muscles stiffened at the thought of bathing.
She felt disgusting, despite the number of sponge baths Madja had helped her with over the past couple of weeks. No amount of wiping could truly make her feel clean, and yet Nova would rather rot in this bed for another week than enter that bathroom.
"Nova…" Feyre murmured at her side as Emerie stood at the foot of her bed. "I know this is a difficult thing for you, and you're welcome to stay here until you're ready, but just know we will be right there to help you."
Pursing her lips, she stared ahead at the bathroom entrance. The last time she'd been put in a tub, she'd lost her life. She knew there was no danger now, but the fear that crawled through her veins was enough to chill her to the core.
It's okay to be afraid, you know.
I know.
Finally, Nova nodded. She breathed deeply and said, "Okay."
With the door closed, and the help of her mother and Emerie, Nova was helped from the bed. The pressure of her feet on the floor felt similar to that of a jiggling dessert, but even as her knees tried to give out, they kept her upright to the bathroom.
"You won't be able to stand for that long," Emerie said. "There's a chair already set in the tub. Let's get you undressed, and you can rest."
Nova nodded, furrowing her brow from the effort it took to attempt to keep her body upright. Had it really been only a few weeks since she cleared the Illyrian Camp obstacle course? Glancing in the mirror as Emerie and Feyre worked to undress her, she frowned at the sight of her body. Before she'd cringed when thinking about herself in a dress…now…surely she hadn't lost that much muscle mass in the time she'd been here?
"Hey," Emerie moved in her line of sight and refused to lower her gaze, "Get out of your head. Each step forward is a step worth taking. Let's go." Carefully, they helped her naked body into the chair in the tub, ensuring it didn't move with the securement beneath.
"I think I can handle the rest, thank you," Nova said, glancing over at them.
Feyre frowned, but nodded. "I'm going to keep the curtain and the door open. We'll be right here if you need something. Nova, do not get up." Her tone was perhaps a bit firm, maybe even a little harsh.
"I won't. I'll do everything from this chair."
With a slow nod, her mother and Emerie stepped out of the room to give her a little privacy, but for a long time, Nova did nothing. She let the water rush down her back, not tilting her head back to let it soak the top of her head or her face. This was something she could do; she could be stronger than this.
What he did would not fill her with fear.
I will not succumb.
Gritting her jaw with determination, she reached for the soap and lathered herself all over. It felt incredible to get the grit off, even if she couldn't bring her feet up, she at least watched the suds ooze between her toes as she wiggled them. It wasn't until the water was beginning to lose its warmth that Nova called out that she was done. In less than a second, Feyre and Emerie entered the space and turned the water off, and before she could stew too long in the chilled air, they helped her dry off and dress in clean linens.
The trip back to bed was more exhausting than before, and by the time she was safely under the covers, Nova released a tired sigh.
Smiling gently, Feyre stroked her fingers against her forehead. "You did wonderfully."
"I took a shower." Nova frowned.
Nodding, she smiled, "What might seem a simple task to some is difficult for others. It's okay to be proud of something you weren't capable of yesterday."
"I'll ask Madja for a muscle relaxer," Emerie murmured and left.
Turning to her, Feyre smiled, "You're hair is still damp. Would you like me to braid it?"
Nova hesitated a moment before finally nodding, "That…would be nice. Thank you."
Smiling, she reached for some bands and a brush on the side table. "You may not have been with us long in Velaris, but I did pick up on a few habits of yours." Stroking the bristles through her soft hair, which now smelled like lavender soap rather than blood and sweat, Nova's eyes involuntarily began closing from the gentle pressure against her scalp. The superficial wounds she'd sustained, including the blows to the back of her head, had been healed by Helion earlier, and now all that remained was to build her strength and stretch her muscles again.
With the use of nimble fingers, Feyre worked to create an intricate braid that would offer the most waves when released. Then, as she worked, she said, "Hollis informed us you decided against tradition."
Nova slowly looked at her with narrowed eyes, "Yes…"
"Good. Fuck tradition." Feyre smiled softly, to which Nova returned with a slow spreading grin. She continued, "Your father and I have a spectacular history of denying tradition."
For the next two hours, Feyre told her daughter stories of the past. Their defeats and triumphs. The funny stories and the sad stories. Someday, maybe she'd tell stories like this to someone. Maybe her child, should that ever happen. While the prospect may have given her some warmth, she was also met with uncertainty.
Did she want a child?
Did Hollis want a child?
If they were meant to be exclusively together to fulfill the prophecy, did that mean they would need to adhere to all of its traditions or otherwise face consequences?
Shooing the thoughts away, Nova let herself nestle into the comforting scent of her mother as she talked.
Even with the problems of tomorrow, at least she had today.