I was only supposed to work a shift in the evening and night. But today seems to have been destined for trouble. It was only a couple hours before noon when Walt came by and grabbed me to help.
Several monsters showed up all throughout the day. Some at the same time as well. And on completely opposite sides of the village. So everyone was scrambling to route them.
I have the sound of those damn whistles burned into my eardrums now. And my knees haven't stopped throbbing from leaping around so much.
We got into a few scuffles. Some people were wounded, but nothing serious. And only a handful of the monsters had to be killed. The vast majority of them took a few hits and then ran off. But we've managed to avoid further damage to the fields, pastures, and our defenses.
Most of what showed up were the Saber Badgers. Just regular variants. They are pretty common in our neck of the woods. But it's the Fan Raptors that took us off guard.
They nest generally down south where it's more rocky, and I had never seen them before until now. Bipedal feathered reptiles that get about as tall as the average man. Completely flightless, but their legs are strong and they will kick the hell out of you if you're not careful. Thankfully, their talons are pretty dull.
But it's their plumage where they get their name. They have a long tail of fluffy, multicolored feathers that they fan out into a half-circle shape several times their size. Usually used to ward off other predators, making themselves appear larger. But they are also part of their mating rituals. And of course, to swipe at attackers to disorient them.
They were quick, but not particularly stronger than other things I fight on the regular. So we managed to run most of them off relatively quickly once we got the hang of their movements. The couple we killed are being put to good use for meat. And the feathers, of course, went straight to Margo who was quite pleased with them.
But we've been pulled every which way for hours. And suffice it to say that spar I was supposed to have today had to be postponed.
It's the early evening now and my shift with Thorpe is about to start soon. The temperature improved some from this morning, but it's still quite nippy. Thankfully, my universal fabric has really pulled its weight. Kept the chill away nicely.
"Are you sure you don't want to tuck in for today? You've been running around a lot already." Thorpe remarks for at least the third time while standing in my kitchen. Leaning against the door frame of the entrance area. I had been taking an hour break when he stopped by to pick me up. At least I thought so. Because he seems to be trying to convince me otherwise.
I frown a little at the question while I'm setting my supper bowls into the washbasin from the warmed up sausage and rice I managed to throw together. Had it with a few rolls Mr. Teovar had baked this morning. A decent meal for a busy day.
"Again. I'm fine. I'm not even that tired." I respond with a slight bit of annoyance evident in my tone. "You're the one who invited me to patrol with you. So why does it sound like you're trying to avoid me now?"
Thorpe's face scrunches up a bit. Rubbing the back of his neck as he sighs. "I'm—I'm not trying to avoid you. I just don't want you to overwork yourself."
"And I told you that I'm not." I state plainly, turning towards him while lifting my broadsword off the dining table and securing it to my back. "I'm taking plenty of breaks. Drinking plenty of water. I'm not overexerting myself. So you don't have to worry. It's not like I'm going to slow you down."
He takes his weight off the door frame and levels his eyes at me. "That is not what I meant—"
"Then what did you mean?" I blurt out, throwing my arms up in frustration. "You've been hiding away. And when I do see you, you look worse every time. And then you buff me away when I ask if you're alright. So I have no idea what you're thinking anymore."
Thorpe stands there quietly for a moment, keeping his attention on me. But feels more like he's looking past me instead. He raises his hands slightly with his fingers spread in a calming gesture. "I know." He finally mutters way too quietly. "And I told you that we would talk about it. And we will."
My head nearly snaps back at that. A groan escaping my throat. "When!?" I bark back with a fierceness that surprises even myself. "You've been telling me that for weeks. The last time we had a solid conversation was at my birthday party. And you were drunk off your rocker!"
His attention breaks from me as his eyes shift to the floor. Going quiet, other than some slightly hoarse breaths past his parted lips.
I wait for some sort of response, but I don't get one. At least not one quick enough. "I am worried about you. I don't particularly enjoy watching my friend appear as if he is wasting away." My lip trembles slightly. "I thought I was someone that you could trust. But instead, I am left in the dark and unable to help."
Thorpe sighs loudly, lifting his head but doesn't meet my gaze. "I do trust you. Things are just more complicated. Too much to put onto you right now."
My face scrunches up on reflex, hard enough to make me take a step back. "How is it too much? After all that we went through on the hunting trip, I'm suddenly too fragile to lean on. Why can't I handle it?"
His jaw clenches. "Because it's not just about the [Bandits], Liore. It's about me. And my mistakes. And my problems. Things you have no business trying to help with."
I furrow my brows at him, shaking my head slowly. "Why not? You've been helping me through everything. Why won't you let me do the same for you?"
Old Guard lets out another sigh as he rubs his face a little too roughly. "I did that because I'm supposed to. It's my job. As your teacher and your guardian, you are my responsibility." He says with a bit of strain in his voice. "It is not your responsibility to take care of me at all. My problems are out of your depth."
I continue to stare at him, bewildered by his reasoning. My hands suddenly feel too warm. "You won't even let me try? You're my friend—"
"I'm not!" He shouts firmly. Truly locking onto me with a hard stare that feels too cold to be directed my way. "I am not your friend. I am your teacher. And you shouldn't ever see me as anything other than that. It isn't healthy for you."
I feel like my blood has just drained from my body. My cheek twitching and that tightness returning to my throat. I feel sick to my stomach. "Is this about what Ethel was saying? Because you shouldn't listen to her. I already told her—"
"I agreed with her. That's why I decided to let them speak to you alone. Because I didn't want you relying on me so much."
"B—but I needed you there." Tears begin to well up in my eyes. My hands trembling at my sides. But Thorpe's cold stare doesn't change.
"No, you didn't. You did just fine on your own. And you stood up for yourself, too. I'm proud of you for that. That would not have happened if I were there." He states firmly. But the brief compliment does nothing to quell the dread sinking in.
"I just don't understand." I mumble. "Without your influence, I would be alone. Useless and afraid."
He shakes his head and actually chuckles rather darkly. "You don't mean that. Without my influence, I wouldn't have already fucked up training your brother and you wouldn't have gone after him that night."
I finally lock my eyes back on him sharply. "I know what I said."
Thorpes sighs with exasperation. "Liore, you would have been normal!"
My eyes widen at that. And judging by his immediate change in expression, he regretted saying it pretty quickly. But not before anger boils over into a growl from my throat, "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
He flinches, shock evident on his features. "Liore, I didn't me—"
"You already said it! It's done." I interrupt, stomping right up to him. My teeth gritting hard enough to hear them creak. "You…" I start, aiming a shaky finger up at him. "You are the one person I didn't want to hear that from. I can excuse my mother for it, but not you."
The old man grimaces. His jaw getting tight again. Looking like he's about to say something, but loses drive for it almost immediately.
My tears have stopped now, as if sheer anger has squeezed the ducts shut. "But you're right. If you had been more careful with Leone, I would be normal." I admit with a bit of venom at the end.
"I would have been tilling the fields, feeding the cattle, and making my mother proud. As God on high intended." I choke back a sob at the thought. The only real positive of it being that Mama wouldn't have to be so worried about me all the time. "But you know what else?" I ask, narrowing my eyes up at him. "If I were normal, our crops would have died years ago. We wouldn't make our quotas. Llanercost would be starving. We wouldn't even know about any [Bandits]. The Jackalopes would have overrun us because Lord Felix would never have come here. The village would get destroyed. And we would probably all be dead."
A silence crawls between us for a few moments. Thorpe's expression tightens, his eyes shut, and his head tilted down. His unkempt hair, overgrown beard, and the dark circles under his eyes making him look closer to his actual age than ever.
I let out a shuddering breath through my nose. "That's why I don't worry about it. Because its useless. It happened, and there is no changing that. And we might have been worse off if it didn't." I grimace slightly. "And maybe that's just me trying to cope with it still. But I think it's accurate enough."
The old man sighs in defeat, reaching a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "Maybe." He mutters apprehensively. "But you wouldn't have to be so uncertain of your future. Things would be more simple for you. At least."
I frown a bit harder at that. "Everyone seems to think that. Anyone who knows what happened looks at me like they pity me." My hands clench into fists at my sides. "I won't lie and say that I'm not terrified about what I might be. Or what people might think of me or do to me. If I might one day be seen as some cursed spawn for the church to hunt down and exterminate." I admit, feeling a wave of nausea at the thought. "But those are problems ahead of me. Not behind."
I stare hard into his face despite him avoiding looking back. "You can beat yourself up about how you could have done differently all you want. But I'm over it. And I feel more useful and more fulfilled than I ever would be digging in the dirt."
Thorpe glances up slightly. "How do you know? You never even got the chance to really be what you were meant to."
I can't help but wrinkle my nose. "Except I wouldn't. Because I've heard of it enough from my mother. We have no choices. From the moment [Farmers] are born, our lives are already mapped out to us on paper. And if we don't follow that, we're seen as negligent. We get hit with fines. Sent to prison. Even executed. All for not following someone else's plan for our lives."
I gesture out the kitchen window pointedly "We don't even get to choose where we live. Even deciding to build a village in a extremely dangerous area just because the soil was a little better!"
"You and Mama both told me how bad it was when you got here. How most of the [Guards] were dead. The walls were destroyed. All the cattle were being eaten. There were so many attacks that no one wanted to leave their homes." I feel my face sink as I remember so many of the stories Mama has told me while she was venting to me. "It was failing spectacularly. But they couldn't just leave. Because as long as the [Hall] is relatively standing, it would be seen as desertion."
I stare in his direction for a few quiet seconds, letting that reminder sink in. "And without you, who wasn't even supposed to be here, this village would still have failed. And my parents probably would have died before I was even born."
Old Guard exhales through his teeth, "Liore. Don't say that."
"Am I wrong!? Cause I've read how many new villages fail every year. And there aren't a lot of us that survive those." I remark with a scoff before shaking my head. "And you think I would have been better off?"
Both of us are quiet for a long moment. Allowing the tension to lessen some.
And after a deep breath, I give him a brief glance before readjusting my sheath's belt over my chest. "What I am may have been by accident. But it has opened me up to so many more possibilities that I am not going to take for granted." I state plainly before stepping past him into the entrance area and kneeling down to slide into my work boots.
I can hear him shifting around behind me, holding onto the silence a moment longer before he says, "Where are you going?"
I secure the last buckles on my boots and stand back up, giving a glance over my shoulder at him. "What do you think? I'm going on patrol. And if you don't want to do it with me, then I can tag along with someone else."
He continues to stand in the kitchen doorway, his hands firmly placed on his hips and carrying himself with a hard slouch.
He looks so much thinner now.
Thorpe raises his head slightly, the confliction on his face all too evident. His eyes don't meet mine yet again. "Go on ahead."
The disappointment that hits me at that answer is like a dagger. Which, I suppose, is pretty ironic. Peeling my attention away from him. "Fine..." I mutter before pushing open the front door and stepping out onto the village road. Immediately turning left to head towards the south gate and the [Guard] shack.
I get a few greetings and waves as I pass by some of my neighbors, but I just give them a simple nod in return. Focusing on just getting back to work. Or at least I try.
"Well now! Look at you with your fancy scarf there, dear." Mrs. Bennett yells out before I can pass by the opening to her smithy. And I can't exactly ignore her. It would be rude.
It's not her fault I'm in a bad mood.
I steel myself for a more pleasant conversation and turn around to smile lightly at the burly, red headed woman. But to my surprise, she is wearing something rather nice today, as opposed to her usual smithing outfit. A white blouse with ruffled sleeves, a tan skirt secured by a dark belt, and a quite fancy broach securing her collar. Her curly red hair is in an up-do, and she certainly looks as though she bathed today.
My smile shifts from being reflexive to being truly friendly. My hands coming up to adjust my red universal fabric still wrapped around my neck. "Yes. I've actually been meaning to thank her for making it. But I've noticed she's been pretty busy lately."
The [Blacksmith] slumps slightly and sighs. "I know. It's so odd. Usually I'm the one overworking myself, and now she's pulling all-nighters for his lordship."
My brow raises at that. "Really? He's making her work on more things?"
She nods as she steps out of her shop, stopping a casual distance away from me. "Aye. She's repairing a lot of those mercenaries' leather gear. I'm assuming cause they want it tip-top before they go knocking on those [Bandits] door."
I nod slowly and purse my lips. "That would make sense. I did notice they weren't in their usual kit this morning. But does that mean you are touching up Ethel and Steppan's armor too?"
She balks, "Oh heavens, no. Their plate armor is way above my skill level. I'd be much more likely to break it than anything. Armor and weapons aren't my speciality. So I can only work with simple ones, appropriately enough." She gestures over to me with a smirk. "The set my darling and I fashioned for you is actually the first plate armor I've worked on in years. So it's very bare bones. But it'll do the work it needs to."
I give a dismissive wave. "It's fine. Bare bones means I can get it beat up and it won't be too much on you to fix it. Plus it's my first set. If I even end up liking being in it."
Mrs. Bennett chuckles. "Aye. We'll just have to see. It's basically refitted now. Just a few tweaks left to do." She notes before she leans over slightly to look down at me. "But I couldn't help but notice that sour look on your face a moment ago. So what's the deal?"
My brows pinch inward and I can't help but look away. "It's nothing. Just got into an argument with Thorpe and I'm kind of pissed at him."
She lets out a hefty sigh. "That man has a natural talent for bein a bleedin arsehole." She remarks, placing her hands on her wide hips. "He's been wallowing in his own misery for weeks now and locking himself up in his cabin when he isn't on the job. Even Yara can't seem to get the stick up outta his ass. So don't bother with trying to make sense of him right now. Wasted effort."
I frown, clenching my fists at my sides in slight annoyance. Even if I'm mad at him, I still don't like people bad-mouthing him. But she's not wrong. He really doesn't seem like he's in the right mind. "Yeah. I just hope he digs himself out soon."
The smith gives a big shrug. "Who knows. The old codger has been through far worse, I'd imagine. So I'm sure he'll bounce back." She waves the issue aside and smiles again. "Now don't let me keep you. Me and the missus are having a date night."
I return the smile, letting out a small chuckle. "Enjoy your night, Mrs. Bennett."
She snorts as she turns to head back in through her smithy that is connected to her cabin. "You're thirteen now, Liore. You can just call me Phillipa. Be safe tonight!" The [Blacksmith] calls back before disappearing into her home.
Another chuckle escapes me before I return to the road, following the round past the South Gate and up to the [Guard] shack.
There are a couple of evening [Guards] milling about outside of the shack, sitting out on a makeshift log bench next to the door. Both of them greeting me as I pass by into the office where a tan wide-shouldered man with greying black hair, a thick beard, and copperish eyes stands behind the table.
My stomach sinks slightly for a brief moment as I'm hit with the fresh memory of a body being laid out here. But a quick shake of my head clears it. "Evening Amhir. Is there someone on patrol needing a partner?"
The Lieutenant raises a bushy brow while looking up at me from a document he was reading. "I thought you were with the Captain tonight?"
I frown on reflex, which I try to halt with a smile, but it just stops halfway and makes it feel like I'm grimacing. "We had a—disagreement. And I don't think we would be good company to each other today."
Amhir's expression becomes more sympathetic. "I see. Well, I hope things clear up with him." He says lightly while setting the document onto the table. "Everyone else is grouped up already. At least on our end. I do know that Hascan [Ranger] is running by himself. But he definitely feels like the loner type."
My mood perks up a bit at that. "Arric? Do you know where he went? I think I can probably keep up with him."
"I suppose you of all people likely could." He admits with a wry smirk. "He's keeping watch on the southwest corner. Earlier he said he was feeling vibrations out that way. Maybe that big Saber Badger is getting brave again."
I grimace for real at the thought. "Let's hope not. I'll go back him up then, just in case."
Amhir looks as though he wants to object, but eventually just nods. "Fine with me. Just remember the rules. No engagements until you get backup."
"Aye, aye. I'll give the signal if something shows up." I promise before turning about and exiting, already pushing myself into a sprint towards the southwest.
Arric has been someone I've been meaning to talk to privately for a while now. But Steppan and Ethel felt like they might not approve of it.
But Arric has been the closest thing to a lead as I've got. If he knows what [Primeval Awareness] is and where it comes from, then maybe I can actually get a solid idea of what the hell my hidden class is.
I know Lord Felix said he might be able to see it with his special [Analyze] skill. But it hasn't finished recharging yet.
Until then, Arrics my best bet.
If he even lets me talk to him...