The night deepened. Ryn sat alone on the deck, watching the scenery outside.
Overnight, the entire Fire Moth had fallen apart... He had been saying that Penglaiji Ryn was becoming indifferent to these virtual beings, but wasn't he the same...
Ryn reached out towards the train, trying to rewrite its existence, but he failed...
"What are you doing here..." Himeko walked over with a few bottles of beer, Penglaiji Ryn in tow, and sat down beside him.
"Enjoying the view, contemplating life, and keeping an eye on our surroundings. What about you two? What brings you here..." Ryn took off his cape and draped it over Penglaiji Ryn. The wind was strong outside; it wouldn't do for her to catch a cold.
"Himeko told me not to keep making such a sad face and to keep her company for a while, to relax..." Penglaiji Ryn tugged at Ryn's cape, sharing some of it back with him.
"Mm... Glug, glug, glug..." Himeko picked up a beer and chugged the entire bottle in one go.
"Haven't had a drink in a long time... You two want some?"
"Sorry, I'm not of legal age, I can't drink..." Penglaiji Ryn waved her hands, refusing.
Ryn and Himeko turned simultaneously, both giving her a speechless look.
Penglaiji Ryn blinked, saying innocently, "I'm really underage..."
"The world's ended, and you're still following such a meaningless rule... Here! Take it!"
Himeko placed two bottles of beer in Penglaiji Ryn's arms, then handed one to Ryn.
Ryn didn't stand on ceremony, opening it and taking a few gulps.
Seeing that both of them were drinking, Penglaiji Ryn had no choice but to take a small sip herself.
"Cough, cough, cough..."
Then she choked on it...
Watching Penglaiji Ryn cough while stubbornly taking another couple of sips, Ryn couldn't help but remember the days when he was forced to drink. What a pity that times have changed...
"Pathetic..." Ryn muttered under his breath.
Though the train's noise was loud, Penglaiji Ryn was leaning right against Ryn and heard him instantly.
"Hey, hey, hey! It's the apocalypse, why are people still looking down on others for being lightweights!!" Penglaiji Ryn's face was flushed as she shouted angrily at Ryn.
Ryn turned his head and silently drank his beer, pretending he hadn't said anything.
"Hahaha... you two have such a good relationship..." Himeko was moved by their bickering, which reminded her of Theresa... She wondered how she was doing, whether she had been killed by Honkai Creatures.
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In a cellar somewhere, Theresa, who was chugging from a wine barrel, suddenly sneezed.
"Strange... is someone thinking of me?"
——————————————
"I heard your memories disappeared for some reason?" Himeko asked softly.
"Mm..."
The two of them nodded.
Penglaiji Ryn's memories had been taken by God Kiana, while his own had become hazy after so much time...
Himeko: "Sigh... I'm so envious!"
Penglaiji Ryn: "Huh? Why? Losing your memories is actually very painful..."
Ryn: "Yeah... The feeling of all your past joys turning into a shattered, blurry dream... it's terrible."
"Because... if you could clear all the memories from your mind, everything would go back to the beginning, wouldn't it?
There would be no more strong, reliable comrades turning into deserters... no more innocent, adorable students turning into world-destroying butchers... and no more of those damn experiences where so many people trusted you, only for you to send them to their deaths..."
Himeko chugged another bottle, listlessly tossing the empty bottle off the deck, letting it fall on the head of some lucky Honkai Creature...
Honkai Beast A roared and began to frantically chase the Hyperion.
"Phew... Me! I was once like you, thinking that just by becoming a Valkyrie, I could become a hero, that I could change this hopeless world... that as long as the Honkai was dealt with, I could live like everyone else...
Meet a man I like... have a pure, romantic, whirlwind romance... wear a white wedding dress and walk with him into a dreamlike church... have a few kids together, form a happy family, and then spend a peaceful life with them... just like a dream...
Thinking about it now... the moment I became a Valkyrie, it was all over..."
Himeko opened another beer, glug, glug, glug, downing another bottle before tossing it off the deck again.
Coincidentally, it landed on the head of that same Honkai Beast A... With glass shards all over its head, Honkai Beast A's green eyes turned a bloody red as it roared and accelerated towards the Hyperion.
"Sorry, listening to an old hag like me tell these stories must be boring... but it doesn't matter anymore."
Himeko chuckled as she looked at Ryn and Penglaiji Ryn sharing a cape. They looked so much like an old married couple. Sometimes, seeing others achieve something you couldn't is a form of happiness in itself.
"Penglaiji Ryn, do you remember when we first met? Bronya wanted you to join the Gray Moth Squad, but I refused. Do you know why?"
"Was it because I was a rookie?"
"No... The first time I saw you, I thought... why does this girl have a different expression from everyone else...
Always looking straight ahead with integrity, curious about everything, fearlessly moving forward no matter the injury.
I wanted you to stay that way... but now, your expression has become the same as everyone else's, suffocating under the pressure, giving up on moving forward because of death and pain.
But perhaps that's the expression one should have in this world... The more you struggle, the less hope you see. Only by deluding yourself with a false sense of security can you stay strong... sinking deeper and deeper into the mire of fear.
If anyone shows weakness, everyone's morale will collapse, so someone has to pretend to be strong..."
Himeko raised her bottle and clinked it with Ryn's and his sister's.
"A Herrscher..." Himeko looked at Ryn and chuckled softly.
"Mm... I am. Sorry for deceiving you..."
"No need to apologize... Actually, Bronya and I knew you were a Herrscher a long time ago. Only Seele and the others believed your story about some modification surgery..."
"Ah... was it that obvious?" Ryn scratched his head in embarrassment. "But you're right... flying around so freely without any external aids is a hallmark of a Herrscher. If those squad members could guess, as a captain, you should have known..."
"Back then... if I had waited just a little longer, if I had trusted you and Bronya, would things have turned out differently..."
"...I'm sorry, I don't know..."