XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Naruto could only facepalm at the general stupidity of the situation.
The first stupid thing to facepalm about was the fact that losing Kakizaki and subsequently Kochō had apparently made Higa both scared and stupid. Oh he'd no doubt deny being scared, but the spoiled corporate heir had no real idea what the fuck he was doing and that was before his and Xanna's arrival.
Hur hur, I'm going to destroy MBI by playing their game by their rules and without knowing the extent of MBI's capabilities, look at how clever I am. Retard.
But getting back to the point, Higa had seemingly come to the conclusion that his problems could be solved by getting more Sekirei for some unspecified future purpose. He planned to do this by apparently forcibly winging Tsukiumi, clearly unaware that this was no longer possible. Musubi seemed to have just gotten caught up in it by virtue of being present at the time, having been engaged in a friendly spar with the Water Sekirei in an warehouse that was unfortunately close to the eastern territory. They probably planned to either abduct or deactivate her.
Normally, those two together would have no great trouble defending themselves, as they numbered among the stronger Sekirei, which brings us to the second point of stupidity. Both of them had already been somewhat tired from their spar, yet they had decided to stick around because one was too proud to run and the other too much of a combat nut.
The third point of stupidity was the fact that staying to fight when there were eighth of them and two of you was generally a bad idea unless you knew for sure that you were stronger than them by a comfortable margin, which was not the case here. For sure, Musubi and Tsukiumi were stronger than each of them individually, but not all of them at once.
It was slightly surprising that half of those Sekirei were Higa's, but Naruto figured that was because of his meddling. Those four being Katsuragi, Shi, Sai and Kaiha.
Katsuragi and Shi were two that he had noted previously as ones that would definitely need someone to look after them for a while, allowing them a security blanket until they were comfortable.
Katsuragi was prone to frequent fits of melancholy, probably worsened by Higa's attitude towards Sekirei and could definitely do with some fun in her life.
Shi had been deeply insecure and shy even before she was released from the labs and her forced winging to Higa had only made that more pronounced. She was one of those Sekirei that was in serious need of a big brother, a position that Naruto was more than happy to fill.
Both of them were close combat types and it was nice to see that not all of them were just a few steps away from killing random people on the street.
On the other end of the spectrum, Sai was volatile and easily angered. Naruto had at first thought that she might be another one of those that he would have to kill, but it was fortunately not the case. She was just foul tempered.
And way off the deep end of the spectrum was Kaiha, who was at this very moment making her best crazy axe murderer face as she tried to skewer Musubi with her twin curved swords that made her look as if she was dual wielding two giant scythe blades. Clearly, she had no interest in keeping Musubi alive.
The other four were with Ashikabi that Higa had payed off. Naruto made a note to himself to make a more in depth check on those pairings. If those four were willing to be payed to attack two women at four on one odds, then there was a good chance that they had no business having Sekirei winged to them.
"Cowards! Cease this dishonorable attack and face us in single combat!" Tsukiumi was howling, using her water to fend off her attackers.
"Yeah! This isn't fair!" Musubi agreed, weaving around Kaiha's furious attack. She was actually less pressed than Tsukiumi because Kaiha's flailing could easily harm one of her 'allies' as well as the fist fighter.
Naruto sighed to himself in both amusement and exasperation. Single combat was nice and all, but it was a bit late to be insisting on it after you've already been attacked.
"I'm sorry!" Shi squeaked but continued attacking.
Okay, now that was just cute. He thought to himself and decided to interfere before somebody got hurt that shouldn't be getting hurt.
Many startled exclamations and a few curses later, the eight attacking Sekirei were being held aloft by chains. A clone had done the same to the four Ashikabi standing nearby.
"Naruto-sama!" Musubi exclaimed enthusiastically, looking entirely too happy for someone that had been on the verge of getting killed, though Naruto figured that she probably didn't understand the concept of dying too well in the first place. "There are two of you!"
"Hello there Musubi-chan." Naruto greeted the girl. He didn't normally bother with honorifics, but Musubi was definitely a '-chan'. He also made another clone and had it carry off Kaiha, no need to kill the murderous Sekirei in front of someone as naïve as Musubi.
Musubi made another noise of awe at the feat and bounced around like a hyper energetic puppy. "Now there are three Naruto-sama's, so cool!"
"How did thou know to aid us?" Tsukiumi asked suspiciously, finding his timing to be a bit too convenient.
"I've been spying on you just in case you got yourself in trouble." He answered honestly.
"Perverted fiend, thou has been leering at me from the shadows have thee not?" The Water Sekirei demanded hotly.
"I resent that Sprinkles, whenever I leer at a woman, I make sure she knows it. Peeping on women from the shadows is just sad." Naruto rebuffed.
Tsukiumi was brought up short by the unexpected reply and fell silent, giving him time to focus on his captives.
First, he set down the four that were not winged to Higa and made a clone for each. "You four, go with my clones and we'll have a little conversation with your Ashikabi."
Bewildered and more than slightly frightened, the four women did so, disappearing out of sight along with their nervous Ashikabi.
Next he set down the three remaining Sekirei. "Alright you three, hold still for a second."
"Why? What are you going to do?!" Sai demanded to know.
"I'm going to unwing you." He answered and did so before they even stopped blinking in surprise.
"Naruto-sama that's horrible! Unwinging a Sekirei is a terrible thing to do!" Musubi protested.
"Don't be silly Musubi-chan, these girls were all winged by force. Go ahead and ask them if they'd like to go back to Higa."
Confused, Musubi proceeded to do so, asking them if that was what they wanted with unusual seriousness.
Katsuragi and Sai exchanged a look and shook their heads, looking rather lost now that they were free. They had no money and no way to support themselves, but they didn't want to go back to Higa.
Sai on the other hand..." Hell no! That bastard had his bloodhounds drag me over to him and winged me by force, I'm gonna kill him!"
"Don't worry about that, I'll be taking care of Higa shortly, but you're welcome to join if you want to." Naruto interjected and continued with something else. "Also, all three of you can come live with me if you want. I'm already looking after many Sekirei that I've unwinged and there's always room for a few more."
"What about Kaiha?" Katsuragi asked hesitantly. The dual wielder had always frightened her.
"Kaiha won't be coming with us, she's too dangerous." Naruto answered, getting looks of understanding from everyone bar Musubi.
"Where will you take her then?" The fist fighter asked cluelessly.
"Don't worry about that Musubi-chan." He told her soothingly and patted her on the head.
"Okay! Hey Naruto-sama, can you spar with me?" She asked excitedly, rapidly putting the fate of the other Sekirei out of her mind.
Naruto felt an absurd trickle of guilt at her blind trust. He knew there was nothing else to do for Kaiha except kill her, but Musubi's naïve trust and excitement made him feel like he was lying to a puppy. An adorable, large breasted puppy. And he hadn't even actually lied to her!
"I'm a bit busy right now, but I'll make some time to spar with you soon." He assured.
"Yay!" Musubi cheered, pumping a fist into the air.
"I too would like a spar." Tsukiumi added, standing with her legs at shoulder height and pointing a finger at him in a very tsundere pose. "I will show you that I am the strongest!"
"Are you going to get wet for me again?" Naruto leered.
Tsukiumi blushed and sputtered, the innuendo not lost on her, which made him chuckle in amusement at how easily she was flustered.
"Hey! We've decided to accept your offer, under certain conditions." Sai interrupted.
Abandoning the byplay with Tsukiumi, the horned blond focused back on the three newly freed Sekirei. "Sure sure, lets talk while we walk. I think you'll find the arrangement to be very favorable to you."
"Bye Tsukiumi, bye Musubi-chan." He said back to the two Sekirei, getting an enthusiastic goodbye and wave from Musubi and a 'hmph' from Tsukiumi.
The last thing that the two of them heard was a question from Naruto.
"Have any of you ever wanted a big brother?"
XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Izumi Higa liked to consider himself a man of control, control of himself, of his company and of the things around him. With his money, cunning and ruthlessness, he had managed to get his way in just about every way imaginable for his whole life.
He did not feel particularly in control at this moment. That was understandable however, as it was hard to feel in control when you were hanging upside down, suspended over the ground only due to the fact that there was a hand holding you by the ankle.
The horned man had moved through the building with the inevitability of the Grim Reaper, cutting down three of his most violent Sekirei, four if you counted Kaiha, his favorites Toyotama and Ichiya included. Though it was a bit of a misnomer calling them favorites since he hated all Sekirei, he just happened to find those two the most useful.
The others he had simply unwinged and then created a copy of himself to speak with them. That had been a nasty shock to see on the cameras. With that kind of ability Uzumaki could be everywhere at once.
"You know Higa, I really don't get you. Hot women that love you pretty much instantly and don't mind sharing and your best plan is to treat them like slaves and use them to get more money? Were you dropped as a baby?" Naruto asked, peering down at the rapidly reddening face of the corporate heir.
"That's all that the freaks are good for anyway." Higa spat angrily, his usual self control eroded.
"Oh so that's how it is." Naruto said as if in realization. "Well then, I'm sure you won't mind if I use you for the only thing you're good for."
Higa felt a block of ice drop into his stomach at the ominous words, which was quite impressive considering his inverted position.
"Have a nice flight." The horned menace said cheerfully and tossed him out of the window.
Higa's terrified scream was abruptly cut off as he was suddenly deposited into the Interdimensional Storage Locker.
Naruto chuckled to himself. As if the douche would get to die that easily, not when there were still plenty of Sekirei pissed off at him for what he did to them.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Kazehana was no stranger to unpleasant mornings, what with her drinking habit and all, but this morning was a different kind of unpleasant.
She was not hungover, having not drunk enough to get to that point and the multiple powerful orgasms had the side effect of burning off much of the booze that she did drink. Speaking of orgasms, she would have been perfectly content to lay there for at least another hour or two and enjoy the delicious soreness in her nether regions, if not for one thing.
Laying in a bed that was thoroughly soiled with stale oil and sweat was rather disgusting.
And so, she made her way to the bathroom with a put upon sigh, at least she could soak in the super sized bath for a long while.
"Damn, even the bathroom smells like sex." She muttered to herself and started filling the tub with hot water, deciding to quickly shower off the worst of the oil and sweat so that she could enjoy the bath.
Living in the lap of luxury at someone else's expense sure was nice. She was in fact rapidly rethinking her idea to stay with Miya for a while. For all the kindness that Miya had adopted from Takehito, she was still kind of a meanie and wouldn't support the kind of self indulgence that Naruto provided so freely. She really had to figure out what he was planning, because despite her generally flighty behavior, she was cynical enough to know that this wasn't likely to last forever.
Though she'd been cynical about his claims on sexual prowess too and that had turned out much different than expected.
"I wonder if he'll ever sleep with me again?" She murmured to herself, now submerged in the hot water. It had been amazing and she would be more than willing, but she wouldn't be surprised if it had been just a one time thing.
"I'll go visit...later." She decided, her sentence interrupted by a yawn. The damn bathtub was way more comfortable than something made of porcelain had any right to be and the very convenient spot designed to rest one's head and neck weren't helping.
Considering that the tub had a system that allowed one to continuously keep the water heated to a certain temperature, even the water cooling that would have eventually forced her to get up didn't happen, so she fell asleep again.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Hours later.
"I'm telling you guys, Naruto has to be doing something weird with those women." Naoki insisted.
"And you're basing this conclusion on what exactly?" Yuno asked scathingly.
Naoki looked like he really wanted to say something but was holding himself back.
"You know something." Shou accused with certainty.
"I'm not really supposed to talk about it." Naoki defended awkwardly.
"You've already blurted out this much, you might as well tell us the whole thing." Shou reasoned.
"Don't worry, " Yuno hastened to assure him. "we won't tell anyone else."
Looking distinctly uncomfortable under the expectant gazes of his friends, Naoki eventually caved and started talking. "One of the maids was cleaning the bathroom in one of those empty apartments that Naruto is paying for when she suddenly heard people talking in the bedroom."
Yuno and Shou nodded in understanding, knowing that the bedroom and bathroom were connected.
"Well, she was about to apologize and leave when she recognized Naruto's voice saying something about getting naked. She was too afraid and embarrassed to open the door after that and just hid in the bathroom."
Once again, the two listeners nodded, knowing all too well that most of the maids were a mixture of curious, afraid and sometimes aroused around Naruto, the latter mostly because of his exotic appearance.
"Apparently they started going at it soon after that and Mi...the maid heard the woman pleading for him to slow down a bit, but he wouldn't listen. She got worried and opened the door a little bit. She swore that she could see a blue-ish glow around Naruto's fingers and that his tongue extended."
"His tongue extended?" Yuno asked skeptically.
"I know!" Naoki asserted." I didn't believe it either, but she swore up and down that he licked the woman's nipples from like...half a meter away!"
"And the blue glow around his fingers?" Shou asked, wanting to get the conversation away from Naruto's anatomically impossible length tongue.
"No idea, but Mi...the maid said that it looked like it was driving the woman crazy."
"It was Midori wasn't it?" Yuno asked flatly.
"What makes you think that it would be her?" Naoki evaded nervously.
"Because she's the only maid that's enough of a shy pervert to stay in the bathroom and peep instead of revealing herself right away and I know that she's been daydreaming of getting 'ravaged' by Naruto more than once." Yuno explained, making quotation marks in the air when she said ravaged. "The little pervert was probably creaming herself the whole time."
Naoki shifted uncomfortably, distinctly remembering that Midori had indeed looked more than a little hot and bothered when she recounted the whole thing to him earlier, as if the mere memory of it had gotten her aroused.
"And you almost said her name twice now." Yuno added as a finishing touch.
"You really suck at keeping secrets man." Shou chimed in.
"Please don't tell Midori that I told you guys." Naoki pleaded. "I promised her that I wouldn't tell anyone."
The other two agreed easily enough, though not without some teasing.
"So...was this woman that he was sleeping with one of those that are around him all the time now or was she new?" Shou asked curiously.
"Midori said that she was new, but very recognizable. Tall, dark hair and the most massive chest she'd ever seen." Naoki explained.
Yuno rolled her eyes, as the last part of that description had applied to most of the women that Naruto was bringing up there at one point until another woman came along with a chest that was slightly bigger.
"We'll probably see her when we deliver breakfast today in any case." Yuno asserted, bringing the conversation to a close.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"I never really understood the point of these mini bars before, but I think I get it now." Kazehana said in a tone of realization after chugging a small bottle of whiskey. "It's strangely satisfying to empty these tiny bottles."
"You most definitely do not get it." Xanna told her bluntly without even looking up from her book.
"I'm with Xanna on this one, you're missing the point of the mini bar entirely." Naruto chimed in.
The Wind Sekirei looked back at them, chugging another bottle as she did so.
Meeting Naruto's wife had been a bit of a tense affair, as she had almost instinctively expected the woman to be hostile to her for sleeping with her husband. The expected hostility had not materialized though.
Xanna had been...well it would be a lie to say that she had been pleasant, because she hadn't been and still wasn't, but she hadn't been outright hostile either. The Wind Sekirei didn't often find herself intimidated by another woman's physical beauty, but this had definitely been one such occasion. Kazehana was one of those Sekirei whose preferences leaned much more heavily towards men than was normal for Sekirei, but even she found herself being attracted to the horned woman. It hadn't been hard to see why it was so damnably hard to get Naruto flustered if this woman had been his primary source of female companionship for pretty much his whole life.
The attraction was entirely physical though, as Xanna's attitude was highly off putting to the Wind Sekirei. That constant sense of aloof superiority and arrogance that permeated damn near every word and gesture tended to leave most people feeling quite sour if they had to put up with it for too long.
She even spoke that way to Naruto, which had left Kazehana quite incredulous when she'd seen it the first time. How could he possibly put up with that for an extended length of time, much less love her so much?
It had taken her a few minutes to figure out that Xanna looked more amused than condescending when she spoke to him that way and Naruto clearly saw some sort of humor in it. After that it became obvious that it was a running inside joke between them from which she was excluded.
The only one that seemed to be exempt from that attitude was Akitsu, which was ironic, because the Ice Sekirei was likely among the only people that wouldn't mind it. The Sekirei in question currently had her head in Xanna's lap and seemed quite content to stay there and doze for as long as possible.
Kazehana might have found herself feeling intensely jealous of Akitsu if Xanna had been a more pleasant woman. As things stood, she was happy that the Ice Sekirei whose life had been full of misery seemed to have found some happiness. For someone like her, it was incredibly obvious that Akitsu was just as attached to them as if she had been winged. She wondered if they knew it or not.
"What is the point of a mini bar then?" She finally asked, shaking off her reminiscing.
"It is obviously a transparent ploy to get more money by putting alcohol in miniature bottles and charging exorbitant prices for it. An excellent display of human greed by hotel management and human stupidity by anyone fool enough to actually make use of it." Xanna explained idly.
"Way to take all the fun out of it." Kazehana muttered, feeling oddly insulted, but she perked up and continued quickly enough. "But I suppose it doesn't matter since I'm not the one paying for it."
"Neither are we." Naruto snickered, clearly amused.
"What do you mean?" Kazehana asked curiously. "Last I heard, you were paying for everything."
"Our power is capable of affecting technology, but it requires great delicacy and does us no good in any case as we do not have an in depth knowledge of the banking system that is used to pay for most things here. Instead of bothering to learn it, my devious husband decided to track down a few wealthy criminal organizations and threaten them into paying for everything." Xanna explained, giving an amused smirk towards a grinning Naruto. "They are probably frothing at the mouth at the expenses we are accumulating:"
"Wait, so you basically bullied them out of their lunch money?" Kazehana asked incredulously.
"Basically." Naruto admitted.
"I thought you were just using your godlike powers to conjure money out of thin air or something." She said with a shake of her head.
"I tried." He admitted again. "We both did, but at the moment we still haven't quite figured out how to manipulate computer data without frying the computer."
"That's...kind of reassuring." Kazehana admitted, having been somewhat intimidated by the idea that they really could do anything.
"Don't get too comfortable, we'll figure it out eventually." Naruto advised.
"Indeed, the nature of our powers merely makes it simpler to manipulate things with few parts, such as solid matter, space-time and other such things as opposed to technology, which has many components working together to create virtual information." Xanna added.
"But what about actual paper money? I've seen you pulling it out of nowhere." Kazehana continued with her questioning.
"Yeah, we can make the bills easily enough, but the damn things have so many small traps to detect counterfeiting that we couldn't be bothered, so anytime we need paper money, we just summon it right out of a bank vault." Naruto admitted wryly.
Before Kazehana could comment on their methods, the conversation was interrupted by the repeated 'schink' sound of a sword being half drawn and slammed back into its sheath, accompanied by a frustrated growl from the pacing Karasuba.
"Why are we just sitting around here, having this stupid conversation? You said that we'd get to kill those damn MBI adjustors already, and that asshole Higa."
"And we will Little Crow, we're just waiting for Uzume to show up. I did promise her that I'd call her once Higa's turn came up." Naruto assured calmly, not at all intimidated by her antics. Everyone else bar Kazehana, Akitsu and Xanna were intimidated by her almost rabid prowling though and had evacuated to another room.
"She better show up soon." The Black Sekirei muttered.
The words proved prophetic, as Uzume walked through the door no more than a couple of minutes later and then blinked owlishly at the Wind Sekirei. She wasn't surprised by Karasuba since Naruto had warned her that the Black Sekirei would be present and she trusted him when he said that it was safe, but Kazehana was unexpected.
"Kazehana? What are you doing here?" She asked quizzically.
"Drinking." Kazehana answered cheerfully, raising another tiny booze bottle in salute.
Uzume stared oddly at her fellow Sekirei for a few seconds, clearly puzzling something out and then a grin bloomed on her face as she turned to Naruto. "You boinked her didn't you big bro?"
"Mounted her like a mule." Naruto agreed.
"Did the no pants dance." Uzume countered.
"Fed the kitty."
"Swept the chimney."
"Checked the oil."
"Tested the suspension."
"Filled the cream donut."
"Made the beast with two backs."
"Stuffed the beaver."
"Did the horizontal hula."
"Attacked the pink fortress."
"Lusted and thrusted."
"Gave her a hot beef injection."
Uzume opened her mouth to continue but couldn't come up with anymore euphemisms. "Okay, you win."
"That's what she said."
Uzume snickered at the final joke, as well as Kazehana's red face. You didn't get to see the playful Wind Sekirei embarrassed often and that made it all the more funny.
"Meanies." Kazehana pouted.
Karasuba rolled her eyes and decided to butt in or else Naruto might stay there cracking bad sex jokes for the next few hours. "Lets go already."
"It's just going to be us, Beni, Haihane and Sai, since the others don't really want to see people die horribly and Akitsu seems to have fallen asleep on us." He said.
"I won't be joining you either, these days I prefer to avoid bloodshed if I can avoid it." Kazehana said, emptying another bottle.
"Suit yourself." Naruto shrugged. "Feel free to stick around if you want and empty the rest of the mini bar."
Their plans were disrupted by a knock on the door and a cheerful call of 'room service'.
"Come in!" Naruto called rather loudly, unintentionally waking up Akitsu.
While the three bellhops rolled in breakfast, the Ice Sekirei rubbed at her eyes and groaned quietly. "Ah...sleepy."
"Sorry Akitsu, I didn't mean to wake you." Naruto apologized. He knew that Akitsu didn't get enough sleep at night, so it was no wonder that she was so tired now.
She mumbled something to the effect of it being okay and was well on her way back to unconsciousness by the time the next person spoke.
"Damn bro, what have you been doing to her?" Uzume asked, actually rather impressed.
"Well, I was teasing her a bit and asking how many orgasms in a row she can take, and she said that she can take as many as we were willing to give her."
"And how many was that?" Kazehana asked, morbidly curious. She had been too tired to keep going after two...though each of those two might have actually been multiple simultaneous ones considering their strength.
"I think it was twenty six." Naruto admitted.
"Twenty seven." Xanna corrected.
"Twenty seven?!" Came the incredulous exclamation from Uzume, Kazehana and even the bellhops who still hadn't left. Karasuba simply huffed impatiently at the fact that they still hadn't gotten to watching people die. She didn't really believe that it would be all that much fun, but Naruto had promised her a fight after it was over, which was what she was really after.
"How the hell did you manage that many?" Uzume squawked, having vague and very dirty ideas about talking Chiho into a threesome or even a foursome.
Instead of answering, Naruto simply extended his tongue and waggled it at her in a wavy manner before snapping it back into his mouth with a cartoonishly audible 'snap'. "My favorite technique, it's amazing what you can do to a woman with a prehensile, extra long tongue. Especially if there are two tongues at work."
The sentence was finished with a leer at Xanna, who gave a slight grin and shot her own tongue out to give Uzume's face a quick lick from a distance, knowing exactly what was going through her head. There wasn't even any mind reading required, as both she and Naruto could quite easily smell her arousal.
"She was most insistent that she could keep going even when she was barely clinging to consciousness." Xanna added while petting Akitsu's head in her lap.
Uzume bit her lip and pressed her thighs together in a vain effort to calm down the fire between her legs even as she wiped her cheek. She loved Chiho completely, but damn did she want to experience that. She promised herself that she was going to be having that conversation with her sweetheart as soon as possible. It would probably involve a lot of wheedling and cajoling, but Chiho shouldn't be too dead set against it. Naruto had saved her life and gave them the opportunity to be together after all. Even if Chiho was firmly on the all girls team, she probably wouldn't object too much, right? Right.
At least, that's what she hoped.
"Why do you keep seducing the women that I was intending to take as little sisters? I'm starting to think that you've got a thing for incestuous relationships my dear." Naruto teased his wife, seeing Uzume's extremely obvious arousal.
"You have no ground to stand on with that statement husband." She rebuffed with a smirk. "Was it not you who groped your own mother's ass the first time you saw her?"
The statement snapped Uzume back to her senses and she looked at the horned blond very oddly, along with everyone else.
"I am surprised at you Naruto-kun." Kazehana finally said, very much unsure of what to think.
"Bro..." Uzume simply trailed off, at a loss to find the words for a proper resonse.
"No way..." The bellhops chorused. "How did you even..."
Even Karasuba was interested in seeing how this would play out, which said a lot considering that she usually didn't give a damn about anything other than a good fight.
"Well, she was a zombie at the time..." He trailed off, realizing that that wouldn't help.
"And that somehow makes it better?" Xanna asked archly, eyebrow raised.
"You set me up." Naruto accused. "You've just been waiting for me to say something about incest so that you could use that."
"Who says that I am finished?" She retorted with a predatory smirk.
Naruto wracked his mind for any other incident in the past that could be construed as incest which she could use as ammunition right now, but came up blank. He had teased Sakura about sleeping with her, but that was the furthest it had ever gotten and therefore didn't count, not to mention that they weren't even related.
"You're bluffing." He asserted after a few seconds of silence.
"Am I?" She countered, smirk widening.
Naruto narrowed his eyes at her in an attempt to figure out what she was playing at, but could discover nothing. Her face showed only the certainty of a predator going in for the kill and her mind was an impenetrable wall.
"Yes." He said firmly, calling her bluff.
The heads of the spectators was at this point jumping from one to the other as if they were watching a tennis match, eagerly waiting to see how it would unfold.
"Well then, I am sure that it will not surprise you to know that you called me mother long before you called me wife."
Naruto's jaw dropped and he stared at her for a long few seconds, trying to process this and remember when that might have happened.
Without warning several of her memories slammed into his head, memories of playing with her tails as a child and knowing with absolute certainty that she was his mother.
"You were quite persistent about calling me that, even when I told you not to." She said, with the accompanying memories reinforcing the words.
Xanna hadn't originally intended to ever tell him about that time, but had since changed her mind. It was a long time ago after all, and it wasn't as if it would change anything.
After the initial shock had passed, a small grin formed on his face. They were happy memories and he was glad to have them. Additionally, he had to admit that Xanna had gotten him good this time, but he wasn't going to let her victory be absolute. He would definitely not be placed into speechlessness over something like that.
The spectators watched Naruto tensely as he lowered his head, not knowing how he would react to such an earth shaking revelation.
They all face planted when he surged to his feet, planted one foot on the coffee table and made the sign of the horns with one hand raised in the air, along with a victorious exclamation. "YES! I'm an even bigger pervert than I thought!"
Xanna had expected something loud and prevented Akitsu from hearing it, but the other Sekirei in the penthouse heard it loud and clear.
"Onii-chan, what's a pervert?" Kusano asked inquisitively, drawn by the loud noise.
"I'm a pervert Kuu-chan." He answered instantly. "The biggest pervert you'll ever see."
"Can I be a pervert too?" The little girl asked excitedly, having no idea what a pervert actually was, only knowing that it had to be fun if her Onii-chan was this animated about it.
"Of course you can sweetie, but you'll have to wait a while."
"Muuu, but I want to be a pervert now!" The little girl said insistently, much to the instinctive horror of every adult that was at least vaguely normal.
"Sorry Kuu-chan, but this is one of those adult things. Same as why you can't just rush into mine and Xanna's room without knocking and stuff like that, okay?."
"'Kay." Kusano said sulkily, feeling left out of the fun, but she had promised to listen when he said that something was only for adults.
"Don't be sad cutie, how about we watch a cartoon together while we have breakfast?" He offered.
"Okay!"
"I thought we were going to go see a bunch of people die fighting against monsters?" Karasuba growled angrily. There was only so much of this cutesy crap that she could tolerate in a day and she was most definitely not in the mood to wait much longer, even if the little incest bomb had been funny.
"Keep your panties on Little Crow, it's not like I can't do both at the same time." Naruto chided and made a few clones to handle things, such as putting Akitsu to bed and cuddling her, watching cartoons with Kusano and anything else that the others might need. "Or you know...don't, you can give them to me if you want to."
The Black Sekirei simply rolled her eyes, more than used to his off handed perversions by now.
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No more than a few minutes later, the three bellhops found themselves standing in the hallway in a state of immense confusion. They had pretty much been background decoration during that 'conversation', but they had heard a lot of weird stuff.
There was only one particular thought going through their minds at that moment.
What the fuck?
"His tongue extended." Yuno stated flatly, deliberately focusing on what had not long ago seemed so incredibly weird and yet now ended up being positively mundane in comparison to the rest.
"Yeah..." Her compatriots said absently, clearly not sure what to think.
"I...have no idea what the hell is going on." Shou finally admitted.
"And he can clone himself at will, without the use of any kind of machinery." Yuno continued in the same flat tone.
"Better not tell that to Midori." Naoki muttered. "Or that he and his wife gave that Akitsu woman twenty seven orgasms in a row."
Shou snickered at that, slowly getting over his shock and taking a philosophical approach. "Ah well, it's not like we didn't know that they weren't normal."
The other two nodded slowly, also overcoming their shock.
"But seriously...groping his zombified mother? There are so many things wrong with that that I don't even know where to start." Yuno said.
"You're not the only one." Naoki muttered, mostly to himself.
"And didn't that scary woman with the sword also say something about watching people die fighting monsters?" Yuno asked with a frown.
"Yeah, but it's weird." Shou commented. "He's so nice to that kid and then he pulls something like that."
"You think we should call the cops?" Naoki asked, clearly dubious about that course of action.
"I get the feeling that it won't do any good." Shou said with Yuno nodding along.
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"Those three are so cute." Naruto chuckled. "Always trying to figure out what's going on."
"They disappoint me." Xanna said with a frown. "I thought they would do something."
"They're just ordinary people, so you can hardly blame them." He responded with a shrug.
"I suppose." She agreed with a sigh. "Well, time to get on with the fun then."
A large number of people made noises of 'oof', some screaming and similar vocalization as they fell on the stone floor. Following those noises was confused conversation as people tried to ascertain what the hell had just happened.
A clapping sound drew their attention and shut them up. They looked up and saw that the clapping originated from a balcony on which a horned man that all of them were at least aware of if they hadn't already encountered him was sitting. Also sitting with him were a similarly horned woman and several Sekirei, the entirety of the now disbanded Disciplinary Squad most notably.
"Ladies and gentlemen, you are here because you have been selected to participate in this exciting once in a lifetime adventure."
"But I didn't apply to anything." A nondescript looking man protested.
"I don't recall saying anything about anyone applying." Naruto said pointedly. "But to elaborate so that the uncertainty doesn't torment you too badly, you're here mostly because I really don't like you."
He gestured towards the Sekirei sitting in a line to his left. "All of you have, in one way or another, contributed to making the lives of these and other girls miserable. Some of you because you eagerly exploited Minaka's lunacy or in the case of Akitsu, his approval, to perform painful, demeaning and dangerous experiments on them."
As he continued speaking, his gaze shifted away from the suddenly nervous group of scientists towards Higa and Kakizaki. "Some of you because you heartlessly exploited their need for help in order to force them to do your bidding or winged them forcibly."
The two men in question showed no reaction beyond a cool look that showed no remorse. The effect was somewhat ruined as they had both appeared screaming like little girls, but they were trying really hard to seem unruffled.
"Or in the case of your two female companions, because they were insecure, jealous bitches that couldn't resist the temptation of getting some revenge on them for daring to be more beautiful than they were, as well as the other reasons." The last was said with a gesture towards the two women, who, while not hideously ugly, were definitely not anywhere close to equaling the bodies and faces of pretty much any Sekirei, even the ones who were quite flat.
"But we didn't even work on any of those Sekirei." One of the women protested as she looked over the gathered Sekirei.
"That's besides the point." Naruto dismissed.
"And what exactly, do you intend to do with us?" Higa asked coldly.
"You will be run through a gauntlet of life threatening challenges and released should you manage to survive." Xanna answered in Naruto's place, smirking. Not that the chances of actually surviving were anywhere close to realistic.
"Now I know what you're thinking;" Naruto picked up before anyone could get a word in. " 'They can't do this!', 'But they're just Sekirei!', 'That's barbaric!', 'The punishment is too harsh for the crime!', 'How is it possible for any man to be that sexy?', 'Who is that babe with the horns?'."
Everyone looked rather unsure of themselves, as that had indeed been many of their thoughts, except the last two, which Naruto had made up himself. But it did get him an amused smile from Xanna, which had been the whole point.
"To answer in order; yes we can, well fuck you too, yes it is barbaric but it's also fun, do we look like we care?, fuck you that's how and finally, she's my wife and she's better than you." He listed out, getting another smile from Xanna as she placed her hand in his.
She picked up the narrative as another man dropped into the room with an 'oof' sound of his own. "This fool will be your guide as he has already gone through it once and survived. He finds himself here once again because I found his previous insolence particularly offensive."
"I'm back here again?" Minaka said, his tone somewhere between horror and elation. Horror because the last time had been far from pleasant and elation because he might yet get Amaterasu-chan back. He certainly hadn't been having any luck rebuilding her in his lab.
"Be grateful that you are being allowed weapons right from the start this time." She added in a tone that stated that they should indeed be grateful. Weapon racks containing a variety of melee implements appeared on the walls as she finished speaking.
"We will not play your games and I will most certainly not listen to him." Higa hissed, staring at the recently appeared Minaka, who was already grabbing weapons.
"If you wish to experience a messy death right away, then feel free to stand still and die." She replied dismissively, punctuated by the clang of steel on steel.
Everyone spun around towards the source of the noise and were left staring wide eyed as they saw a walking skeleton banging on the bars of a heavy portcullis with a steel mace.
Several moments of stunned silence passed before one of the male scientists started speaking in a flat tone that indicated he was trying to deny reality. "That's impossible. A skeleton only acts as support for the body, it can't move without muscle."
"Normally you'd be right." Naruto agreed. "But this is our world and in this world, if we decide that the Sun is going to be triangular, then the Sun is going to be motherfucking triangular."
There were a few seconds of silence and then a sudden storm of protests as it finally penetrated their minds that they were being held captive by a madman.
"Enough!" Xanna's voice cut through the noise like a blade and silenced them. "You have committed actions that have earned you the anger of my husband, there will be no appeal. Your only hope of survival is beating the odds. The portcullis will open in fifteen minutes, I suggest you spend them wisely."
After a moment of stunned silence, they all scrambled towards the weapon racks, grabbing everything that looked fairly easy to use and wasn't too heavy. Somehow they knew just from the horned woman's tone of voice that arguing would be worse than pointless. Even Higa and Kakizaki were grudgingly forced to grab weapons as survival instinct forced their pride to bend.
There were also shields on the racks, which nearly everyone took. Of course, the process of arming themselves was anything but smooth and much of their fifteen minutes was wasted by squabbling.
"We can't all take spears!" Minaka was protesting. "Everyone knows that skeletons are almost immune to piercing damage!"
"This isn't a video game Minaka-sama, if we stab them in the head or pelvis it should be just as good as smashing it with a mace and it will be much safer." One of the adjustors protested.
"And you have so much skill with a spear that you think you can hit it just right?" Another one scoffed, trading his spear for a flanged mace and giving it a few test swings. He grimaced when he realized that it was much heavier than it looked and was certain to throw him off balance quite badly if he missed.
"Well no, but I've got even less skill with a mace and I get the feeling that a few walking skeletons will be the least of our worries in here." The first man admitted.
"Take a halberd, it has plenty of reach, needs minimal skill and does good impact damage as well being able to cut." Minaka advised.
"Keep your advice to yourself Minaka." Higa hissed. "I suspect we are all in this mess because of you in the first place."
Minaka shook his head and replied. "It matters little now Higa-kun, we will need to work together if we are to survive."
"I will never work together with you!" The corporate heir hissed again, his hatred of Minaka plain for all to see.
"Suit yourself Higa-kun, but be warned that things will get more dangerous with time."
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