Chapter 44: Conversation
Hikigaya believed firmly that he was right. He never understood when society began treating "not having friends" as some sort of failure. He never thought so.
Even if you had no friends, even if you were always alone, that was not wrong. Loneliness itself was not wrong. The only thing wrong was the kind of hypocritical, superficial relationships people praised as "friendship."
So, it didn't matter if you had no friends. It didn't matter if you had no partners.
This declaration caught both Horikita siblings by surprise.
Horikita Manabu's eyes narrowed. "As expected, you are… interesting."
"In this academy ruled by meritocracy, teamwork is essential. But at the same time, individuality is equally important."
His sharp gaze turned briefly toward Hikigaya, then lingered on Suzune, still standing there in a daze.
"In the future, this school will throw special exams at you unlike anything you've seen. I'm looking forward to seeing how you perform then…"
With those words, he turned away.
"Suzune, if you intend to reach Class A, then prepare to stake everything."
Under Hikigaya and Suzune's watchful eyes, the student council president's figure finally disappeared.
Hikigaya let out a long sigh. He had to admit—the guy was suffocating. At one point, he'd even felt more pressure than when facing Ryuen from Class C.
He offered Suzune the still-warm tea he held, then walked back to the vending machine to buy another for himself.
Suzune sat on a nearby bench, quietly sipping. Her brother's words weighed heavily on her.
"…Hikigaya, have I changed?"
"Every day people change—mentally and physically—countless times. You might not notice, but the moment you wake up, you're already different from yesterday. That's growth. So yes—you've changed."
Suzune frowned faintly. "…Twisted logic as always."
Hikigaya opened his tea and took a gulp.
"Though I don't know the details with your brother, I didn't expect to see that side of you."
At the reminder that he had witnessed her moment of weakness, Suzune's cheeks flushed slightly.
"…Forget about it."
"Easier said than done…"
"Forget it!"
Faced with her sharp glare, Hikigaya raised both hands in surrender. "Fine, fine. I'll erase it from memory."
Suzune exhaled slowly. The warmth of the tea calmed her down, but her thoughts refused to quiet.
"…You're amazing. Even someone like Sudou has changed because of you."
"I don't think I changed him."
"Deny it if you want, but it's true. Even I… After listening to you earlier, I realized I've been changed by you without realizing it."
Hikigaya had no response.
"I always thought Sudou was hopeless. That's why I ignored him. But today… because of what you said, I believe he can change.
If I fight with him now, it'll only break the fragile motivation he's built up. You must have seen that, which is why you spoke up and guided me."
Hikigaya sighed. "…Horikita, why are you so obsessed with Class A?"
"Isn't it obvious? To catch up to my brother. To make him acknowledge me."
"…I get that feeling. Chasing after a sibling… But still—"
"Still what?"
"You shouldn't rely on reaching Class A just for his approval. There are things more important than his recognition."
"No. If I can't rise to Class A, he'll never acknowledge me. I'll never surpass him."
Her words were absolute. It was clear she didn't yet grasp what Horikita Manabu truly cared about.
In the end, Hikigaya didn't push further. She would learn eventually, after three years in this school.
The conversation ended there. Hikigaya tilted his head back and drank deeply, letting the bitter taste linger.
He hadn't felt this kind of peace in a long time.
Even as a marginal figure in high school, the strange system of this academy wouldn't let him simply sit on the sidelines.
At the very least, if he didn't want to be expelled, he had to act.
"…If things go on like this, can Sudou and the others even scrape by with passing scores?"
Suzune shook her head. The reality was merciless. Their time was too short, and Sudou's group's foundations were terrifyingly weak.
At best, they had a one-in-ten chance of avoiding expulsion. She was sure the three of them understood that.
But they had no choice but to keep going. If they abandoned even the last shred of hope, only failure awaited.
"Do you know what the passing standard is?" Hikigaya asked.
Suzune nodded. "Based on past exams and average scores, the benchmark is set by the class's overall mean. Why? Are you afraid too?"
"…Hard not to be, especially for someone who knows nothing about science."
Suzune studied him, a faintly mocking smile on her lips. "A rational monster with absurd self-awareness and terrifying thinking speed… and yet hopeless at science? That's unexpected."
"Maybe science has a personal grudge against me."
His scores proved it: near-zero in science, nearly perfect in liberal arts, averaging around fifty overall. It almost looked intentional.
Suzune finally sighed. "…I understand now. What Chabashira-sensei said—about the students in Class D being deeply flawed. I was too arrogant, dismissing the weak. That arrogance is why I ended up in Class D. And you, Hikigaya Hachiman… you're the same."
She didn't elaborate further. Finishing her tea, she stood, waved once, and walked away.
Arrogant and self-deprecating—Hikigaya was, in his own way, another defective product.