Chapter 53: The Other Side of the Angel
Hikigaya's words left Kushida frozen on the spot, her body trembling uncontrollably.
This time, it wasn't an act. It was genuine fear.
She couldn't comprehend why anyone would dislike her. She'd worked so hard—always gentle, always praised by others, noticing every little detail, and even doing things she didn't want to do for the sake of her classmates.
And yet, despite all that effort… she still couldn't win the boy's affection.
A strong, competitive fire surged inside her. In a sudden move, Kushida pressed her body tightly against Hachiman's chest.
Feeling the warmth through his shirt, Hachiman instinctively backed away, clearly flustered.
"Why... why don't you like me? Did I do something that made you hate me?"
Seeing Hikigaya retreat, Kushida looked completely devastated. She approached him again, step by step, her hands clutching her chest, unease flickering across her face.
Hachiman's expression stayed indifferent, but with a man and a woman alone in the same room, he couldn't help but feel tense. If she screamed, he'd be in serious trouble.
"No, that's not it," he finally said. "Actually, what I said earlier wasn't completely right. It's not that I just hate you."
The words made Kushida freeze mid-step.
She looked confused. "What… do you mean by that? Hate… a part?"
Seeing that she stopped moving closer, Hachiman exhaled in relief.
If she had come any closer, he really would've screamed.
"What exactly do you mean?" she asked, voice trembling. "I can't understand."
Hachiman slowly sat down in his chair. Facing the girl's gaze—half-pretend, half-sincere—he spoke calmly.
"Is it really that you can't understand? Or… that you just don't want to understand?"
He looked straight at her. "What I dislike is that mask you're wearing right now. That's all."
Kushida's expression didn't waver. She kept her angelic face, tilting her head slightly as if in innocent confusion.
"What are you talking about? I don't understand what you're saying."
Hachiman sighed inwardly. Maybe he sounded self-righteous saying this, but he was certain that the Kikyo Kushida standing before him wasn't her true self.
"Maybe you just don't want to show that side of yourself. Maybe you have your own reasons. I get that. I'm just your classmate—barely even that. I have no right to pry into your business."
He looked at her, calm and detached.
"But if you truly want to go beyond being just classmates… if your goal is really to be friends with everyone at this school, then I suggest you don't treat me like you treat everyone else."
He leaned back. "Personally, I prefer things that are real."
After saying all that, Hachiman felt mentally drained, like he'd just run a marathon.
Kushida exhaled softly, shoulders dropping, as if the air had left her body.
"Impossible," she whispered. "No one would like the way I really am."
"Maybe I'm just one of those guys with weird fetishes," Hachiman muttered wryly.
His sarcastic remark drew a small, bitter smile from her. Strangely, that pained smile looked far more genuine to him than any of her usual angelic expressions.
"How did you find out?" she asked after a moment. "Did someone tell you?"
Kushida's tone sharpened, and it was clear who she meant—Horikita Suzune, the only person who might know about her past.
She stepped closer, eyes locked on his.
"It was just an inference," Hachiman said. "From your everyday behavior."
There wasn't a hint of deceit in his voice. That alone seemed to relax her slightly.
"You really are a monster…" she murmured.
"You're not the first to say that."
"Will you tell anyone?" she asked quietly.
"I'm not interested in other people's pasts."
Throughout the exchange, Kushida never revealed her true side. Still, she seemed more natural than before, even if she was still hiding behind a wall.
"Did you really figure that out all by yourself?"
"There wasn't much else to go on," he replied.
"Maybe so," she said softly. "But I'll never show you that side of me. And if you ever happen to see it—" her voice turned cold—"I'll consider you my mortal enemy."
"That's… really scary."
"After all," she said, her expression darkening, "that's the real me."
"Even so," Hachiman said, "I don't dislike it."
Kushida fell silent. The air between them turned heavy.
---
[Sudo]: "What are they even talking about? I don't get a word of this."
[Chi]: "Yeah, same here. What's this 'other side' thing?"
[Hirata]: chuckles "Maybe they're just talking about how everyone acts when they're alone."
[Shinohara]: "Ohhh, I get it! Like when couples realize their partners aren't who they imagined, right?"
[Karuizawa]: "Wait, what?! Why are we suddenly talking about romance?"
[Ike]: "Yeah! How did this become a love story?"
Kushida glanced at Hirata, then at Horikita and Ayanokouji in the corner. Seeing them silent, she scratched her cheek with a nervous smile.
"Oh, it was just a video call," she said sweetly. "I don't even know what I was thinking. It's not… about dating or anything, right? It shouldn't be."
But her vague tone only made it worse.
[Shinohara]: "Kushida, I know that look! You totally waited until everyone left just to be alone with him! And after Yamauchi said he's kind of handsome too? You've definitely fallen for him without realizing it!"
Kushida's angelic smile faltered for just a moment before she feigned embarrassment, scratching her head again.
For her, that misunderstanding was the easiest way to escape the subject.
---
He hadn't found something genuine yet, but Hachiman still kept searching for a connection untainted by lies.
For Sudo, being open and honest came naturally, and maybe that was what "genuine" looked like. But Hachiman himself still carried secrets, and that meant he wasn't ready for that kind of relationship.
Maybe even three years from now, he still wouldn't have a single friend.
But that was fine. As long as something real existed in the world, he would keep looking for it.
That night's conversation had shaken Kikyo Kushida more than she wanted to admit. Though she never revealed her true self, a small crack had formed in her carefully constructed heart.
But it wasn't time yet.
If, someday, when the world turned on her, he could still say the same words in her defense… perhaps then, she might truly acknowledge him.
Until then—time would tell.
As she picked up the last bit of trash, Kushida leaned toward Hachiman's ear and whispered with a teasing smile,
"I remember—you still owe me a date."
Leaving those words hanging in the air, she smiled faintly, turned around, and walked out.
"Goodnight."
The door slammed shut behind her.
Hachiman slumped down in his chair, limp like clay.
'So scary… so scary, so scary, so scary…'
'Never again. No more being alone with a girl in a room.'
Still, he understood now why Kushida and Horikita were always at odds.
Kushida wanted to erase Horikita's presence in the class. Horikita, in turn, refused to cooperate with her.
Most likely, Horikita already knew Kushida's secret—her "other side." That's why they were enemies.
'I'm curious,' Hachiman thought wryly. 'Just how awful is her true personality…?'
Although, to be fair, it's not like anyone could be more annoying than himself.
[Yukinoshita]: "At least you're self-aware."
[Hachiman]: smirks "Well, I did rank first on the 'Most Unpopular' list. Of course, Hayama got first on the 'Most Popular' one."
[Yuigahama]: "Hikki, why do you sound so competitive about those rankings?"
[Iroha]: "It's not surprising Hayama-senpai's popular, but you being number one on the unpopular list is kinda terrifying, senpai."
[Hachiman]: "Being at the top just means I'm not invisible."
Yukinoshita sighed, rubbing her temples. "Only you could say something that absurd and call it comforting."