Chapter 54: There Are No Gravity-Defying Skirts in the Shinobi World
Thump!
Walking with its head lowered, the orange cat suddenly bumped into something.
Looking up, it realized Asuka—who had been leading the way—had stopped in the middle of the road. His face wore a conflicted expression, as if he were deep in thought.
"Hmph!"
The cat poked him with a paw and arrogantly lifted its chin.
"Regretting it already?"
"Too late."
"Only now have you realized how beautiful my amber eyes are."
Ignoring the cat's muttering, Asuka slowly opened his eyes and asked hesitantly,
"Feifei..."
"Have you ever heard of a taunting weapon?"
"A taunting weapon?"
Seeing that Asuka wasn't joking, the orange cat lowered its head and assumed an almost human expression of contemplation.
There weren't many kinds of weapons in the shinobi world.
Kunai.
Swords.
Spears.
War fans.
None of them sounded anything like a "taunting weapon."
After thinking for quite a while, it tapped its head with one paw and asked curiously,
"Asuka..."
"What exactly is a taunting weapon?"
As the cat climbed onto his shoulder, eyes shining with unconcealed curiosity, Asuka rubbed his chin thoughtfully.
"I don't know what a taunting weapon is either."
"But..."
"I know what a cursed weapon is."
His mind drifted back to the bizarre weapons he'd encountered while playing games before transmigrating.
Even after all these years, they remained unforgettable.
That ridiculous massage device from one siege game.
The underwear-shaped helmet from another.
And Mejai's Soulstealer—stack it high enough and it mocked your opponents; fail to stack it, and your opponents mocked you instead.
But...
None of those quite matched the system's description.
"Wild by nature, frequently bursts into maniacal laughter like an Uchiha."
That implied it could speak.
"Normally well-behaved, but when excited enjoys screaming, swearing, and occasionally taunting its enemies."
Which meant...
Whatever it said would probably be perfectly understandable to humans.
After a long silence, Asuka opened the front door.
A thin layer of dust covered the room.
Walking over to the table, he looked down at the short description in his hand before gripping it tightly.
He was genuinely curious.
Just what kind of weapon was this?
Poof!
A cloud of white smoke burst forth.
Something pitch-black landed on the table between them.
The orange cat studied it carefully.
It blinked twice before asking uncertainly,
"Asuka..."
"Is this... the taunting weapon you mentioned?"
"...Why does it look exactly like a teapot?"
Asuka stared at the black object in silence.
Not like a teapot.
It was a teapot.
A perfectly ordinary teapot.
Why would the system give him something like this?
Was he supposed to boil water and make tea with it?
Then drink tea while mocking coffee drinkers?
Clang!
"It moved!"
"It moved!"
The orange cat immediately scrambled onto Asuka's head, pointing excitedly at the teapot.
"Asuka!"
"This thing's alive!"
"...Mm."
Asuka nodded.
He placed the teapot squarely on the table, rested his chin on both hands, and quietly observed it.
There was no way...
This was just an ordinary teapot.
---
Dark.
Utter darkness.
Though it had long grown accustomed to endless blackness...
Loneliness still lingered in its heart.
It hadn't escaped.
It was still sealed away.
Damn it!
It had known the old man's promises couldn't be trusted.
According to that old man...
It should've been running freely through open fields.
Turning around with a friendly smile whenever humans chased after it.
"Come on!"
"Catch me if you can!"
Reality, however...
Was very different.
Whenever humans caught it, they beat it with their fists while calling it dangerous.
Eventually...
It had even been sealed into a weapon.
Imprisoned forever inside this endless darkness.
The gap between fantasy and reality...
Was simply too much to bear.
...Hm?
After cursing for what felt like forever...
It suddenly sensed the seal loosening.
"...?"
Damn.
Are they just letting me out so they can beat me again?
"..."
Forget it.
If I'm going to lose anyway...
At least let me see the stars one more time.
After hesitating for exactly one second...
It immediately stood up.
It cracked open the seal.
Peeked outside.
Then...
It instantly crouched back down and buried its head in both hands.
Damn!
I got up too fast!
I just saw Uchiha Madara smiling at me from the wall!
I'd better go back to sleep.
After lying there for a while...
It finally stood up again, gritting its teeth.
"No one's stopping me from seeing the stars today!"
It carefully pushed open the lid once more.
Its tiny eyes secretly peeked toward the place where it had seen Madara.
"..."
Oh.
It was just a photograph hanging on the wall.
After staring at the framed portraits of Madara and several other Uchiha for a while...
Its pounding heart gradually settled.
Madara should've been dead long ago.
Secretly, it observed the rest of the room.
One human.
One cat.
Both staring curiously at the table.
After confirming no one else was present...
Its nervousness slowly transformed into excitement.
"Yaa-ha!"
Bang!
Asuka instantly slammed the lid shut.
He stared wide-eyed at the orange cat.
"Feifei..."
"I don't think I'm fully awake yet."
"My brain feels kind of fuzzy."
"Then go to sleep."
The orange cat stretched lazily, extending all ten claws with satisfaction.
"You've been too excited spending time with Pakura these past few days."
"Your brain's overworked."
"It's perfectly normal to feel dizzy."
"...No."
Asuka nudged the teapot with his chin.
His expression turned uncertain.
"I don't know if I imagined it..."
"...but I think I just saw a tailed beast."
"...A tailed beast?!"
The orange cat blinked blankly.
The next second, every hair on its body stood on end.
"Wh-Which one?!"
"I think..."
"...the one with a single tail."
Before he could finish—
The teapot began shaking violently.
Asuka instantly stood up.
His Sharingan activated on instinct as cold sweat trickled down his forehead.
No way...
Could it really be a tailed beast?
Technically...
A tailed beast certainly qualified as a weapon.
The problem was...
He had absolutely no way of controlling one.
Bang!
"YAA-HAA!"
With an excited scream, Shukaku poked his head out of the teapot and greedily looked around at the outside world.
The outside world...
Was wonderful.
The air was fresh.
Even though he didn't actually need to breathe...
He still took an exaggerated deep breath.
Best of all...
Nobody seemed to be beating him.
Nobody was cursing him.
For the moment...
He appeared safe.
"Haa..."
"Haa..."
Shukaku greedily inhaled again before happily closing his eyes.
It had been so long...
Since he'd gone several days without being beaten...
Insulted...
Or hated.
He'd almost forgotten what peace felt like.
A moment later, noticing the strangely awkward atmosphere in the room, Shukaku turned toward the human and the cat.
In an overly excited, shrill voice, he declared,
"I'M FREE!!"
"..."
"..."
Several long seconds passed.
No terrified screams.
No curses.
No ninjutsu flying at his face.
Instead...
The atmosphere somehow became even more awkward.
Looking at the human—who had already deactivated his Sharingan—Shukaku stomped one foot and roared again.
"I'M OUT!"
The human calmly wiped the sweat from his forehead with a handkerchief.
He didn't look frightened at all.
Shukaku blinked.
Then shouted again, though with noticeably less confidence.
"...I'm... out?"
"...Mm."
Seeing the human nod, Shukaku's thoughts began racing.
An Uchiha...
With a portrait of Madara hanging in his house...
And he isn't afraid of me...
He inhaled sharply.
Could this guy be Madara's descendant?
Someone with the Mangekyō Sharingan?
A bead of sweat trickled down Shukaku's forehead.
Watching the human slowly approach, he cautiously asked,
"...Who am I?"
Asuka tossed the crumpled tissue into a nearby trash bin before walking over.
"One-Tail."
"Shukaku."
Seeing that not only had he been recognized, but that the human was calmly approaching him without the slightest fear, Shukaku looked around, secretly searching for the best escape route while buying time.
"...You're not afraid of me?"
"I was."
Asuka nodded honestly as he sat down.
Looking at Shukaku—who was already sweating nervously and shaking his head—he continued,
"But not anymore."
"...Why?"
Resting his chin on one hand, Asuka looked at the adorable little Shukaku sticking out of the teapot.
"Because I realized something."
"In the eyes of my... 'golden finger,'"
"I'm only old enough to have just entered the Ninja Academy."
"It wouldn't throw me something completely beyond my ability to handle."
"Feel your own chakra."
"The Sharingan can see chakra too."
After examining Shukaku...
Asuka had come to a conclusion.
This wasn't the complete One-Tail.
It seemed more like...
A copy of a young Shukaku whose power had been severely restricted.
Weak enough that even a child who hadn't entered the Academy yet wouldn't be completely helpless.
After listening to Asuka's explanation, Shukaku finally examined his own body seriously.
The more he checked...
The more sweat appeared on his forehead.
I've... been separated?
He instinctively turned toward the direction of Sunagakure.
There...
He could sense another unconscious mass of chakra.
One deeply connected to himself.
It felt as though...
His consciousness had been peeled away and brought before this Uchiha...
While his true body remained sealed inside Sunagakure.
Then...
What am I now?
If I die...
Will I return?
Normally...
When a tailed beast died, it eventually resurrected.
But under these circumstances...
He had absolutely no idea what would happen.
Everything was far too bizarre.
Countless confused thoughts flooded his tiny brain until it nearly exploded.
"Hey."
Hearing the human call out to him, danger flashed across Shukaku's eyes.
Maybe...
This entire situation had something to do with him.
If he killed this human...
Would everything return to normal?
With that thought, Shukaku suddenly slapped his belly.
An enormous amount of chakra gathered in his mouth before erupting outward.
Wind Release: Drilling Air Bullet!
Boom!
A chakra-infused sphere of compressed wind shot straight toward Asuka.
Asuka casually picked his nose.
Tilting his head slightly to the left...
He effortlessly dodged the egg-sized projectile.
Then he clicked his tongue.
"Your power really has been heavily restricted."
Watching his signature technique miss so effortlessly, Shukaku slowly turned toward the egg-sized hole left in the door.
The corners of his mouth twitched.
It was true.
Right now...
He probably couldn't even beat a child.
Thunk.
Shukaku silently withdrew his limbs back into the teapot.
Only his head remained sticking out beneath the lid.
His face was filled with confusion.
...What exactly is going on?
---
Outside the house—
Uchiha Mikoto stood expressionlessly with one hand pressing down her skirt while rubbing the bruise on her thigh with the other.
Her gaze remained fixed on Asuka's room.
A moment earlier...
She had been taking a walk nearby with Kushina.
Then, for some reason, Kushina had suddenly dragged her to Asuka's front door and stood there hesitating.
Before Mikoto even had the chance to ask what was wrong—
A tiny Wind Release technique suddenly shot out of the house.
At the time, all of her attention had been on Kushina.
Besides...
The Wind Release projectile was fast but didn't appear particularly powerful.
She hadn't realized the danger until the very last moment.
By then...
Kushina was still standing frozen beside her.
If Mikoto had dodged...
The attack would almost certainly have struck Kushina instead.
After the briefest hesitation...
The egg-sized wind bullet slammed into her right thigh.
It's definitely going to bruise...
Remembering how the gust had also flipped up her skirt, Mikoto silently looked around.
Fortunately...
There was no one nearby.
"Let's go."
Only then did Kushina snap back to her senses.
Remembering the strange agitation of the Nine-Tails moments earlier, she cast one curious glance toward Asuka's house before taking Mikoto's hand and walking away.
The Nine-Tails caused trouble often enough that she was already used to it.
"Mikoto?"
Seeing her limping slightly, Kushina asked in surprise,
"What happened?"
"Nothing."
Mikoto smiled gently.
The corner of her eye drifted toward Asuka's house.
"...Just a muscle cramp."
Whether it had been intentional...
Or accidental...
The grudge she'd been holding against him seemed to have grown just a little deeper.
At this point...
She was far more inclined to believe it had been deliberate.
After all...
That coincidence had been just a little too perfect.