AN : Shout to "Rycork" in patreon for this idea and i will shout to anyone inspire me now hehehe, but lot of you guys inspire me so thank you for your ideas, i will shamelessly use it lol
Saturday Night, 15 May 2001.
Tonight's weekly WWF broadcast was supposed to be strange from the very beginning, but even the audience did not realize just how stupidly chaotic it was going to become. The arena was packed, signs were everywhere, and the crowd was already loud before the first bell even rang. Some people held signs supporting Hulk Hogan, others had signs for The Undertaker, and a few weirdos had brought Pepsi signs because, for some reason, the entire feud tonight had become connected to Pepsi.
The commentators for tonight were none other than Vince McMahon himself and Howard Finkel, which already made the whole broadcast feel slightly unhinged. Vince sat behind the commentary table with exaggerated seriousness, while Howard looked like he was trying very hard to act professional even though the match's reason was absolutely ridiculous.
Howard excitedly announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, tonight's special match is truly unlike anything we have ever seen before! This all started because The Undertaker insulted Hulk Hogan's favorite drink... Pepsi!"
Vince's eyes widened in exaggerated horror, as if Howard had just announced a national tragedy. Vince slammed one hand on the commentary table and shouted, "What!? That's blasphemous! How can The Undertaker say trash about Pepsi!? Pepsi is refreshing! Pepsi is powerful! Pepsi is practically the blood of sports entertainment!"
Howard stared at him for a second, then slowly said, "Vince... Pepsi is one of our biggest sponsors."
Vince immediately cleared his throat and said, "And that is exactly why I speak from the heart!"
The audience laughed because everyone could tell Vince was shamelessly protecting sponsor money. Some fans began chanting "PEP-SI! PEP-SI!" while others booed just because they thought booing a soft drink was funny. Somewhere in the front row, one fan held a sign that said, "UNDERTAKER FEARS CARBONATION."
Then The Undertaker's entrance began.
The lights dimmed, the arena turned cold, and the crowd roared as The Undertaker slowly walked out with his usual terrifying presence. His eyes were sharp, his face was emotionless, and he moved like a man who had come to bury someone alive. But strangely, instead of his usual intimidating props, he was holding a single can of Pepsi in one hand.
Howard gasped dramatically and shouted, "Vince! He's holding the Pepsi!"
Vince leaned forward in horror. "No... no, don't you dare, Undertaker. Don't you dare disrespect that beverage!"
Then Hulk Hogan's music hit, and the crowd exploded. Hogan walked out with full energy, pointing at the audience, flexing, and looking like the kind of man who could solve every problem in the world by ripping his shirt and shouting loudly enough. He entered the ring, grabbed the microphone, and pointed directly at The Undertaker.
Hulk Hogan shouted, "You grave-digging bastard! You better come here and apologize before I kick your ass, brother! And after that, you're gonna drink three Pepsis and tell the world it's delicious!"
The crowd went wild. Vince almost stood up from the commentary table and shouted, "That's right, Hogan! Defend the Pepsi!"
Howard put one hand over his headset and said, "Vince, please sit down. The match hasn't even started yet."
Undertaker slowly raised the Pepsi can toward the camera. For one moment, the whole arena became quiet. Even Hogan stared at him with suspicion. Undertaker's lips slowly curled into a grim smile. Then, without saying a word, he spat on the can, slapped it out of his own hand, and stomped on it so hard the crushed can shot a small splash of soda across the mat.
The arena screamed.
Vince stood up and shouted, "NO! YOU MONSTER!"
Howard yelled, "THE PEPSI HAS BEEN DESECRATED!"
Hulk Hogan's eyes widened like he had just witnessed a personal betrayal. He pointed at the crushed can, then pointed at Undertaker, then shouted, "You just crossed the line, brother!"
Undertaker raised the microphone and said coldly, "In your dreams, Hogan."
The bell rang, and the match began immediately. Hogan charged forward with pure righteous soda-fueled rage, throwing punches at Undertaker while the crowd shouted with every hit. Undertaker absorbed the first few blows, then fired back with heavy strikes of his own. The match quickly turned into a classic power brawl, with Hogan slamming Undertaker into the turnbuckle, Undertaker responding with a huge boot, and both men trading blows like two giants fighting over the honor of carbonated drinks.
Howard shouted, "Hogan is fighting for pride! Undertaker is fighting for darkness! And somehow, Pepsi is at the center of all this!"
Vince yelled, "That's because Pepsi matters, Howard!"
Howard replied, "I'm not sure it matters this much!"
The match became more intense. Hogan managed to land a powerful clothesline, but Undertaker sat up almost immediately, making the crowd scream. Hogan looked frustrated, then tried to slam him, but Undertaker countered with a hard strike to the back. For several minutes, they fought back and forth, and despite the ridiculous reason behind the match, the crowd was fully invested.
Then, suddenly, the arena lights began flickering.
Howard's voice became confused. "Wait a minute... what is happening? Why is it suddenly dark?"
Vince shouted, "Is this Undertaker's doing!? Is he summoning anti-Pepsi spirits!?"
The lights dimmed further, and then a familiar theme hit.
Bret "The Hitman" Hart walked out casually.
The crowd erupted, but the moment the camera zoomed in, everyone realized something was wrong.
Bret Hart was holding a can of Coca-Cola.
The reaction was instant. Some fans cheered because it was Bret Hart. Some booed because of the drink. Some just started laughing because the entire situation had become too stupid to process.
Bret walked down the ramp with complete confidence, took a slow sip of the Coca-Cola, then grabbed a microphone. He looked directly at Hogan and said, "You know what? I hate Pepsi. And I love this."
Vince looked like his soul had been slapped. He ripped off his headset and shouted, "Damn you, Hart! Damn you! This is a Pepsi-sponsored broadcast!"
Howard panicked beside him. "Vince! You're going to lose money on this! Vince, sit down! Vince!"
But Vince did not sit down. Instead, he stormed up from the commentary table and marched toward the stage like a man personally betrayed by beverage treason. The crowd began laughing harder because Vince looked genuinely ready to fight Bret Hart over soda sponsorship.
Bret calmly waited for him.
Vince shouted, "You take that Coca-Cola out of this arena right now!"
Bret replied, "Make me."
Vince charged.
Bret immediately smacked him.
Vince dropped dramatically like he had been shot by a cannon, and the crowd exploded.
Howard stood up at commentary and shouted, "THAT'S WHY YOU NEED TO STAY BEHIND THE CHAIR, VINCE! YOU ARE NOT A WRESTLER TONIGHT! YOU ARE A BUSINESSMAN WITH TOO MUCH EMOTION!"
With Vince down near the stage, Undertaker took advantage inside the ring. Hogan had become distracted by Bret's betrayal, and Undertaker used that moment to land a huge strike, knocking Hogan down. Bret entered the ring soon after, still holding his Coca-Cola can like a sacred weapon of rebellion.
Undertaker looked at him and asked, "Do you hate Pepsi?"
Bret nodded proudly and said, "I do."
Undertaker gave him a dark grin. "Good."
Then the two of them started ganging up on Hogan.
The crowd booed loudly as Undertaker and Bret stomped Hogan down. Howard shouted into his microphone, "This is terrible! Hogan is at a major disadvantage! This has become an anti-Pepsi alliance!"
Vince, still recovering near the stage, grabbed his headset from the floor and screamed, "HOGAN! CALL HIM!"
Howard looked confused. "Call who!? Who is he talking about!?"
Hogan slowly rolled outside the ring, breathing heavily. Undertaker and Bret taunted him from inside, mocking him, pointing at the crushed Pepsi can, and laughing. Hogan staggered toward the announcer table, then suddenly flipped it over with a burst of rage.
Howard jumped back and shouted, "WHAT IS HE DOING!? IS HE GONNA CALL ZABO-MAN!?"
The crowd screamed at the mention of ZABO-Man, because at this point, anything felt possible. But Hogan did not call ZABO-Man. Instead, he found a microphone taped under the announcer table beside a pristine bottle of Pepsi, as if it had been prepared by destiny, sponsorship, or Vince McMahon's insane marketing department.
Hogan grabbed the mic. His face was red, partly from exhaustion, partly from rage, and partly from the deep shame of what he was about to do.
Inside the ring, Undertaker and Bret continued taunting him. Bret lifted the Coca-Cola can and said, "What are you going to do, Hogan? Cry into a Pepsi?"
Undertaker added, "No one is coming."
Hogan slowly raised the microphone.
The camera zoomed in dramatically on his face.
Howard whispered, "What is he going to say?"
Vince crawled back toward commentary, barely alive but spiritually invested. "Say it, Hogan... say it for Pepsi..."
Then Hogan shouted with broken Japanese, "PEPSI-MAN TASUKETE!!"
The entire arena froze.
For half a second, nobody knew how to react.
Even Undertaker and Bret Hart almost broke character. Undertaker had to turn slightly away, and Bret pressed his lips together so hard it looked painful. Howard's face twisted as he tried not to laugh, while Vince looked like he had just witnessed the greatest advertisement in wrestling history.
Then the arena went completely dark.
A catchy, familiar beat began playing.
The crowd recognized it immediately.
Blue light flashed across the stage. A silhouette appeared at the entrance ramp, tall, shiny, and absurdly heroic. The music grew louder, and then the iconic voice rang out across the arena.
"PEPSI! MAN!!"
The lights exploded back on.
Pepsiman appeared.
He was wearing the tight silver-and-blue suit exactly like in the ZAGE game, reflecting the arena lights as he stood dramatically at the top of the stage. Then, without saying a single normal word, he began running down the ramp in that unmistakable Pepsiman style, arms pumping, body leaning forward, looking like a man who had sprinted directly out of a commercial and into a wrestling war.
The audience lost their minds.
Howard shouted, "IT'S PEPSIMAN! PEPSIMAN IS HERE! THE VIDEO GAME CHARACTER FROM ZAGE IS REAL!"
Vince had somehow returned to commentary, still slightly hurt from Bret's slap, but now fully reborn through sponsor power. He screamed, "HOLY SHIT, HOWARD! PEPSIMAN IN THE FLESH! BUSINESS HAS JUST PICKED UP AND IT TASTES REFRESHING!"
Pepsiman charged down the ramp at ridiculous speed. Bret and Undertaker stared at him, completely flabbergasted. Hogan, still outside the ring, pointed toward him like a man witnessing divine intervention.
Pepsiman reached the ring.
He did not climb the stairs.
He did not enter normally.
He leaped from the floor straight into the ring without touching the ropes properly, landing in a dramatic crouch that made the crowd scream even louder.
Bret took one step back and muttered, "What the hell?"
Undertaker narrowed his eyes. "This is unnatural."
Pepsiman only grunted.
Then he attacked.
He rushed Bret first with a flying shoulder tackle, sending The Hitman stumbling backward into the ropes. Undertaker tried to grab him from behind, but Pepsiman spun around and hit him with a rapid flurry of ridiculous but surprisingly effective punches. The entire move looked less like traditional wrestling and more like a video game combo accidentally imported into live television.
Howard shouted, "PEPSIMAN IS CLEANING HOUSE!"
Vince screamed, "YEAH! HIT THEM! HIT THOSE ANTI-PEPSI BASTARDS!"
Howard immediately turned toward him. "Vince, please! We are on live television!"
Vince ignored him. "I AM PROTECTING THE BRAND!"
Hulk Hogan climbed back into the ring, suddenly filled with new energy. He joined Pepsiman, and together they began fighting back against Bret and Undertaker. Hogan hit Bret with punches while Pepsiman dodged Undertaker's grasp with strangely slippery movement. Every time Undertaker tried to grab him, Pepsiman somehow slid away like a man animated by soda physics.
Bret recovered and tried to strike Pepsiman from behind, but Pepsiman suddenly pulled a Pepsi can from absolutely nowhere, opened it with a loud crack, drank it in one gulp, and shouted his iconic grunt.
"AGGH!"
Then he became faster.
Howard screamed, "DID HE JUST POWER UP FROM DRINKING PEPSI!?"
Vince shouted, "OF COURSE HE DID! THAT'S HOW NUTRITION WORKS!"
Howard yelled, "THAT IS NOT HOW NUTRITION WORKS!"
Pepsiman bounced off the ropes and hit Bret with a running clothesline. Hogan then grabbed Undertaker and slammed him with all his strength. The crowd was completely insane now. Some were chanting "PEPSI! PEPSI!" while others shouted "PEPSIMAN!" and a few confused children were just jumping because everyone else was jumping.
Undertaker sat up again, but this time Pepsiman stood in front of him.
The two stared at each other.
The arena became tense.
Undertaker slowly rose to his feet and said, "You do not belong in this world."
Pepsiman stared silently.
Then he pointed at Undertaker.
"AGGH!"
Nobody knew what that meant, but the crowd cheered like it was the greatest insult ever spoken.
Bret grabbed a microphone from the floor and shouted, "This is ridiculous! I am not losing to a soda mascot!"
Pepsiman turned his head slowly.
Hogan shouted, "Brother, you insulted Pepsi! Now you face the consequences!"
Bret tried to attack again, but Hogan intercepted him. Undertaker attempted to grab Pepsiman for a chokeslam, but Pepsiman slipped behind him and pushed him forward into Hogan's big boot. Hogan then bounced off the ropes, and the crowd knew what was coming.
The leg drop.
Hogan hit Undertaker with the leg drop, while Pepsiman simultaneously hit Bret with a strange running Pepsi tackle that looked like a finishing move invented five minutes ago by a marketing team with too much money.
Howard shouted, "THIS IS MADNESS! HOGAN AND PEPSIMAN ARE DOMINATING!"
Vince was now standing on top of the fallen commentary table. "THIS IS THE GREATEST NIGHT IN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT HISTORY!"
Howard looked up at him and yelled, "VINCE, GET DOWN FROM THERE! YOU ALREADY GOT HIT ONCE!"
Vince shouted back, "IT WAS WORTH IT!"
Bret and Undertaker finally realized they were losing control. They rolled out of the ring, bruised, embarrassed, and completely done with the entire situation. Bret held his Coca-Cola can like it had betrayed him and shouted, "This is because I drank Coca-Cola! My energy went to shit!" he then throws coca-cola to the ground and stomp it!.
Undertaker, walking backward up the ramp, growled, "Should've drunk booze instead of that garbage."
The audience roared with laughter. Bret looked offended at both Pepsi and Undertaker now, but he still kept retreating because Pepsiman was standing in the ring and staring at him with empty soda-powered determination.
Vince tried to rush into the ring for an interview, still breathing heavily from both excitement and physical damage. Howard followed him with a microphone, probably because he feared Vince would say something legally dangerous without supervision.
Vince approached Pepsiman and shouted, "Pepsiman! Pepsiman! You saved Hulk Hogan! You saved Pepsi! You saved this broadcast! Do you have anything to say to the millions watching around the world!?"
Pepsiman turned toward Vince.
The entire arena went quiet.
Pepsiman raised one hand.
"AGGH!"
The crowd exploded.
Howard shouted, "Powerful words from Pepsiman!"
Vince nodded seriously. "Inspirational!"
Pepsiman then pulled another can of Pepsi from absolutely nowhere, opened it, drank it in several loud gulps, then shouted again, "AGGH!" before suddenly running out of the ring and sprinting back up the ramp at full speed. He did not walk. He did not wave. He simply ran, because apparently Pepsiman only existed in two states: running and drinking Pepsi.
Howard yelled, "Where is he going!?"
Vince shouted, "Wherever Pepsi is needed!"
Hogan stood proudly in the ring, holding up a bottle of Pepsi like it was a championship belt. He grabbed the microphone and shouted, "Pepsi is always the best, brother!"
Vince nodded so hard his headset almost fell off. "That's right! Say it again!"
Howard sighed, but even he was laughing now. "Ladies and gentlemen, I don't know what we just witnessed, but I think Pepsi owes everyone in this building a bonus."
The audience went absolutely nuts. The live crowd could not believe they had seen Hulk Hogan, Undertaker, Bret Hart, Vince McMahon getting slapped, an anti-Pepsi alliance, broken Japanese, and a real-life Pepsiman run into the ring like a video game character. People watching on television were just as stunned.
And the most insane part was that this was not just a random joke. This was a direct insult to Coca-Cola on live television, during a wrestling match, inside a WWF broadcast, through a ZAGE video game character, powered by Pepsi sponsorship.
It was absurd.
It was chaotic.
It was advertising so aggressive that even normal commercials looked ashamed.
Meanwhile, how did it come to this?
That story began behind the scenes.
To be continued.
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