[ Although Kazuma had failed, his two teammates were hardly the type to sit idly by. The very next day, the butler from the Dustiness household arrived at their doorstep, handing them a letter.
Kazuma, expecting Darkness to have finally caved and sent a plea for forgiveness, tore open the envelope with a flicker of anticipation.
"I have received intelligence that a cadre of the Devil King's army is planning a terrorist attack in the near future!"
"If the wedding is not cancelled immediately, the church will be blown sky-high by Explosion Magic on the day of the ceremony… Sincerely, a concerned mage."
Upon finishing the letter, Kazuma instantly crumpled it into a ball, bowing profusely to the butler in apology. "I am terribly sorry. I will make sure she is severely disciplined." ]
[ .....]
〜Projection of All Worlds〜
"A concerned mage…."
The audience outside the video feed was rendered utterly speechless.
They had never witnessed a "concerned mage" whose tone sounded so remarkably like a terrorist. The mention of Explosion Magic gave the game away instantly!
That censorship was about as effective as a screen door on a submarine; you might as well have used your real name. Any idiot could figure out it was you.
.....
〜Gintama World〜
Toushirou Hijikata watched with black lines of exasperation etched across his face.
"Kondo-san, that is absolutely a threat letter. A teenage terrorist has been born, oi…"
Setting everything else aside, this was arguably more terrifying than a standard terrorist. Given the current potency of Megumin's Explosion Magic, it likely wouldn't just be the church that got blown away, but the entire town of Axel…
Kondo, sweating profusely, attempted to rationalize it.
"It's just a prank, right? Like that Phantom Thief O-something! A prank where they steal something and give it back; she won't actually blow it up."
In truth, even he lacked confidence in his own words. This was a little girl with a few screws loose; her capacity for causing trouble was on par with that certain someone from the Yorozuya.
"She's got style, though. Even though to pin it on a Devil King General,"
Sougo remarked from the side, a look of appreciation on his face.
"Just like how we blame the Joui patriots for cases where we can't find the culprit."
Kondo suddenly leaned into Sougo's face.
"Oi! Sougo, did I just hear something incredibly incriminating? Deny it! Don't look away, oi!"
Hijikata ignored Kondo entirely, directing his retort at Sougo.
"But what's the point? They traced it right back to her doorstep!"
It was practically a confession. Besides… the only people in that area capable of Explosion Magic were Wiz and her!
.....
[ Of course, Aqua was no slouch either. FOUR DAYS BEFORE THE WEDDING CEREMONY—!
A large crowd had gathered at the gates of the Dustiness estate. Aqua, clutching a small satchel, began performing her talents. "Behold! From this tiny bag, the Rookie Killer shall emerge!"
Hearing a familiar voice, Kazuma frantically pushed through the crowd and apprehended Aqua in the midst of her bizarre performance. "Don't let that weird thing jump out of there!"
The surrounding spectators, being honest folk, tossed coins at Aqua and gestured for an encore!
Aqua waved her hands in refusal, acting the part of a misunderstood artist. "Please, no tips! I am not an entertainer; please do not tip."
She then whispered to Kazuma, explaining that this was all part of her plan to lure Darkness out, before turning back to shout at the mansion.
"Hey! Darkness! I'm about to perform my greatest trick! Come out now, or you'll regret it!" ]
[ .....]
〜Projection of All Worlds〜
"What the hell is a Rookie Killer?! Is she going to pull out a Giant Toad, her mortal enemy? She actually could conjure that up."
Regarding Aqua's party tricks, the audience outside the video never doubted her professionalism. After all, these were skills that rivaled her unique healing magic!
.....
〜Type-Moon World, ██████ Worldline, Chaldea〜
Da Vinci was astonished.
"To think she'd come up with such a method. A goddess is a goddess, indeed."
Had the legend of Amaterasu spread to the heavens of that world? This tactic was reminiscent of how the gods lured Amaterasu out of the cave by throwing a party.
Regrettably, Darkness had no interest in talent shows. If it had been some form of perverted exhibition, perhaps she might have actually been lured out.
Mash sighed with a touch of regret.
"Please don't say that. For the past two days, both Aqua and Megumin have been trying to stop this in their own ways… It's just a pity, really."
They were making their last-ditch efforts, doing what they could. Even if the methods were ineffective, the sentiment was genuine.
.....
[ And so, three days passed. Megumin, who had been sending threat letters daily, was released on this day, returning home with a look of exhaustion.
Then, on the day before the wedding, Vanir showed up claiming he was there to help. However, a despondent Kazuma clamored for a substitution, wishing for Wiz instead.
Vanir rejected the idea without a second thought. "That debt-generating machine? How could she possibly negotiate a deal?"
"Yesterday, the moment I took my eyes off her, she said, 'Let's sell this to couples,' and stocked this item."
Vanir produced a pink necklace. A necklace that would burst into flames and explode just before the wearer died from a fatal injury!
"'Sacrificing one's life at the very last moment to protect a precious person—don't you think that's romantic?' She said that with a smile…"
"But its power is excessive. Never mind the enemy; it would blow the beloved person it was meant to protect into oblivion! Well? Would you like one?" ]
[ .....]
〜Projection of All Worlds〜
"…Vanir making her work two weeks straight without a break makes perfect sense now. Do not let that woman have free time!"
The audience watched with twitching lips as the so-called "romantic" product was displayed. With this item, forget protecting a loved one… even a lover's suicide would no longer be a mere legend!
Wiz truly was a procurement genius. Couples who owned this might not be born on the same day, but they would certainly die on the same day. It was "romantic" to death—literally.
.....
〜A Certain Magical Index World〜
"Anyone daring enough to gift that isn't a lover, but a nemesis!"
Shokuhou Misaki, who had initially thought the necklace looked quite pretty, froze. Who the hell would wear that?
It was practically hanging a time bomb around your neck! What kind of couple is that? One slip-up and it turns into a premeditated murder.
Shokuhou rested her chin on her hand, her eyes glinting.
"However, it's not entirely useless, is it? Kazuma could use it right now!"
If he just gave the necklace to Darkness and then blew up the fat lord, it would solve everything. Given Darkness's physical durability, she might actually survive it.
And even if she couldn't handle it, there was always Aqua's resurrection magic as insurance. It was a win-win!
.....
[ After a brief exchange, Vanir looked at the new products on the table and nodded in satisfaction. "You've been working hard on product development."
Vanir then produced a briefcase full of gold coins and showed it to Kazuma. "A man who desperately wants to save her, yet is terrified of being rejected if he goes!"
"Th… these are the fruits of my remaining intellectual property. I don't intend to sell them cheaply!" Kazuma's eyes darted toward the gold coins, gulping in temptation.
Most importantly, if these couldn't save Darkness, there was no point in selling them anyway.
Vanir seemed to see right through him. "In exchange for all your intellectual property rights, the money in this bag will surely grant your wish!"
Tsk… Demons who can see through everything are such a pain! ]
[ .....]
〜Projection of All Worlds〜
"That's just an apple slicer artifact. Can something that's basically an idiot tax really sell that well in another world?"
"It seems Kazuma hasn't been idle these past few days. Everyone in their squad is doing their absolute best to help Darkness."
The audience smiled knowingly. Kazuma kept saying he wouldn't help unless Darkness apologized, but in reality, he had been preparing all along, creating new products every day just to earn enough money to pay off her debt.
.....
[ Kazuma watched as Vanir stuffed the various blueprints and product certificates into his bag. "You know everything, don't you?"
Vanir replied without turning his head. "Naturally. I know most things! Including the question you want to ask next! Why does that armored woman owe the lord such a massive debt?"
"Why would a demon actively help out? Do you have some ulterior motive?"
"Of course I have an ulterior motive; I am a devil, after all! Just like now, I can take this opportunity to buy up all the various rights you've been hoarding at a bargain price!"
Kazuma cursed the demon under his breath before quickly asking, "Stop keeping me in suspense! Just tell me!"
"Then I shall tell you. The reason the armored woman is in debt is…"
"SACRED EXORCISM!!" Before he could finish, Vanir was obliterated by a sudden purification spell from Aqua, leaving only a cracked mask on the floor.
"Hey! Vanir! You're an Archdevil, aren't you?! How did you get one-shotted by the Toilet Goddess?!" ]
[ .....]
〜Projection of All Worlds〜
"This Vanir really is omniscient. He knows exactly what's in Kazuma's heart. Being able to read minds like that is terrifying!"
"Wait… No, let him finish the reason! You team-killing menace, Aqua!"
Just as the truth was about to be revealed, Aqua's interruption left the audience outside the video feeling incredibly frustrated!
It was like hearing only half of a juicy piece of gossip, or sitting on a chair with wet paint—utterly uncomfortable!
.....
〜Type-Moon World, Fifth Holy Grail War Worldline〜
"Rather than a Devil, he seems more like a merchant."
Emiya Shirou said slowly, observing Vanir's behavior.
He wasn't exactly a good person, nor was he strictly a villain. The thing he resembled least was a demon; he was far more like a businessman.
And this was an open scheme. Like a shrewd, seasoned merchant, he took advantage of Kazuma's desperate need for funds to acquire his intellectual property at a low price!
Illya nodded gravely.
"He does seem like a merchant, but I suspect he foresaw this scene as well, which is why he chose this opportunity to show up."
This devil, Vanir, was practically the ceiling of the other world. Reading minds, predicting the future—was there anything he couldn't do?
Tohsaka Rin tore at her hair, nearly screaming in frustration.
"WAIT, AQUA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!!"
No wonder her rank in Kazuma's addressing of her had dropped again. She was the "Toilet Goddess" now…
.....