What is a savior?
To many, it's the magical girls—the symbol of hope, salvation, youth, sacrifice.
To older folks, it's the superheroes in comics of the past. The superheroes, like the magical girls, all share the same thing. The stubbornness to do good, the symbol of hope and kindness when the world chooses to be unkind.
But if you ask Miu?
She doesn't look up to some deity who embodies perfection, no—even if this deity isn't perfect but parades itself as this idol, she wouldn't accept such an entity so easily.
Not out of ignorance,
Not out of arrogance,
Not out of pride.
But simply because she thinks that a hero doesn't need to be well known.
A hero can be anyone of us.
Just someone who chose to be kind, to see the unseen.
That was Shizuka to Miu.
Someone who saw her, when others bullied and ignored her.
She was Miu's savior, not because she saved her from the bullies—partly that as well. But more importantly—Shizuka saw her for who she was.
It was from then on that Miu decided
「Ah, I really want to stay with Shizuka..I want to befriend this kind girl」
And she did. She stuck with Shizuka all her life. They were like sisters, and Miu valued her relationship more than anything she could name.
But she had to become independent—she wanted to become a nurse. To hopefully make Shizuka proud, she became successful from her own efforts, but maybe that was a bad idea..
She wasn't there when Shizuka was suffering,
She wasn't there in person when they were watching the news,
She wasn't there when Shizuka pretended to be okay.
She acted like Shizuka, her hero, would be okay without her—wrong.
The moment they saw each other, Shizuka had this..eerie power she can't place, similar to youmas.
Then Shizuka acted all weird and fled from her. Stating that she would explain when the time comes.
Miu initially wanted to reach out to Shizuka after that, but who can even reach out from such an awkward encounter?
Miu felt reluctant due to the fact she didn't even know where to start, and Shizuka herself had said that she'll explain when the time comes.
So Miu thought, as always, that it would be okay.
Cats are independent creatures. If you tell them you're okay, you're okay! So this orange cat's view of Shizuka never changed. Shizuka said she was fine, then she's fine!
That was her view.
But perhaps that view is flawed in some way.
So as days came to a blur while my mind was boggled at the thought of Shizuka, I find myself roaming Minami Yume District.
I happily window shopped at the stores available, but I got bored staring at the magical girl merchandise so I decided to head my way to the arcade.
It was then that I saw a familiar black-haired girl. My lips curled into a smile as I was about to run, but I noticed something..
Something feels different about Shizuka somehow. I can't place it.
Somewhat more eerie than my previous encounter with her.
This made me hesitant, approaching slowly. As I walked, my mouth moved before I could stop it.
"Shizuka?"
My words were soft, almost not wanting to be heard.
But I saw it,
Her once beautiful black eyes...looked lifeless...
「Shizuka, what happened?」
My blue eyes became more gentle as it reflected Shizuka's face, showing unshown sadness underneath. This made me look more worried than ever.
"M-Miu.."
Hearing that sweet voice now feel cold, I couldn't help but smile at her. This time..whatever Shizuka is going to say...
Whatever she's going through..
It's my turn to be her savior..
Even if I don't know how..
Because that is what Shizuka would have done..
....
[Shizuka POV]
My black hollow eyes stared as Miu slowly made her way towards me, her eyes showing sadness.
"I should have been there."
I tilted my head out of confusion.
"When the news happened. When they announced those...those replacements. I should have been there. In person. Not on the phone like a coward."
Shizuka's mouth opens, but Miu keeps going.
"I heard you scream. Through the phone. I heard you break. And what did I do? I sat in my room and told myself you'd be fine. Because you're Shizuka. You're always fine."
I stared as tears fell from Miu's eyes.
"I failed you. I wasn't there. And now you're—"
Miu pointed at me, at the emptiness behind my eyes.
"—whatever this is. And I don't know how to fix it."
Silence.
Despite heads turning, people looking. I remained calm, staring at Miu.
Then, softly, my mouth opened:
"You can't fix me."
Miu looks up.
My voice is quiet. Not cold. Just... tired.
"No one can fix me, Miu. I'm not broken. I'm..."
I trailed off, searching for a word that doesn't exist.
"Something else."
"That's fine!"
What??
My eyes widened as Miu held my hand with both of hers, tears streaming down her face.
"I don't need to fix you. I just need to be here. That's all I've ever needed, Shizuka. Just to be with you."
My black eyes trembled, shrinking as Miu's face is all they reflected.
"W-What are you saying?!"
I gritted my teeth, looking away, but the small blush on my cheek betrayed me. Traitors!
I looked around us and people were whispering!
I swallowed as I took Miu's hand and dragged her to a less crowded area.
"What are you on about?!"
I gritted my teeth, the blush on my face never leaving till now. In fact, my face became redder than it already is.
"I'm saying...I'm sorry...I was selfish. I left you all alone. I thought you were okay, I really thought you'd be fine..but you weren't fine..you were suffering and..I wasn't there."
Looking at Miu starting to cry again, my eyes flickered, my pupils changing to the same diamond-shaped pupils then reverting back to my normal pupils.
「Should I just kill her? What a pain..」
The same thought surged through my mind again, causing my black eyes to constrict.
I averted my eyes, biting my lip as I clenched my hands into fists.
"Miu, I...I'm no longer the person you know..I...I'm no longer me..I don't even deserve to be called human anymore."
I said those words with a shred of hesitance, my black hollow eyes starting to regain their light just a bit.
"Shizuka...what do you mean?"
Miu's eyes looked into mine. Somehow, looking at them gnaws at me. Makes me feel sick.
I clenched my fists tighter. I closed my eyes for a second and opened them again.
"I've thought about killing you, okay?"
I laid it out. I finally laid it out.
Hearing my words, Miu's eyes widened.
"That's why I don't deserve to be called human anymore. I've thought of something revolting."
I gritted my teeth, my eyes unable to look at Miu's sad eyes.
"Shizuka, I don't understand. How could you think of that?"
Miu stepped a couple steps back, tears streaming down her face.
"I became a magical girl, Miu...but not for Lya."
I said with a low, almost hesitant voice.
"I'm not your savior. Never once was. I thought—I used to think I am. But...it was all a cruel act, just to make me eligible to become a magical girl."
My chest felt tight, as if it's burning. Blood started to trickle from my hands, my lips painful and I can taste iron.
Unbeknownst to me, my eyes started to water as well.
"So please, Miu...I'm...I don't even know how to face you these days...I'm not the savior or big sister you look up to. I don't even know who I am anymore...I'm just putting on an act..."
I looked down at the ground. My spot started to have little wet spots as tears dropped from my face.
"Shizuka, you.."
I could hear footsteps coming towards me, then soft hands touched my cheek. At first, I jolted. Almost pulled back, but the hands were gentle, soft. I started to look up, seeing Miu looking at me with such gentle eyes...
She wasn't angry at me..
Even though I confessed..
Why is everyone like this?
"Shizuka..to me...you aren't an idol, you aren't the role model student, the big sister I look up to..."
Hearing those words made my heart hurt, as if the million pieces left wasn't enough, she came to damage them even more.
"To me...you're my Shizuka."
Hearing those words, tears poured even more from my face.
"My...Shizuka?"
I repeated those words, unable to comprehend.
"To me, you're the girl who saw me, who was invisible, who was bullied and saved me. I should treat you like how you treat Stella Comet but..I know you are also a person."
Miu gently caressed my face, wiping some of the tears that flowed down my cheeks.
"So even if you have thought of killing me, it's fine. I'm sure you had a good reason to."
Seeing Miu's warm smile, my chest felt heavier than it already is.
"Why are you people so cruel?"
I muttered under my own breath.
"S-Shizuka?"
Miu looked at me with confusion.
"Why does everyone treat me so kindly, when I haven't done anything to deserve such kindness?"
I kept wiping my tears away but they wouldn't cease, leaving me a sobbing mess as I fell to the ground.
"I've damned myself, goddamnit...I'm no longer gonna be revered, I'm gonna be hated, I should be hated..why do you people still love me? This is so unfair!"
I screamed in agony, my black eyes regaining the beautiful sparkle they once had.
My black eyes, with renewed light, reflected only one thing.
Miu.
...
..
.
[Miu POV]
A hero.
A hero is usually portrayed as someone that is always strong, always smiling, always confident.
But right now, my hero is in front of me breaking down.
I was not able to help her in the way I thought I should—I thought it was easy to approach Shizuka, after knowing her all my life.
But that wasn't the case.
I broke down in front of her—and now she's overwhelmed by her own emotions.
I've always thought of heroes as ordinary humans. Always have. But strangely, seeing Shizuka crying like this...
Is painful.
This isn't like her.
This isn't the Shizuka I knew.
Seeing her black eyes stare at me with such longing, who would dare to act harshly to such a vulnerable girl?
So I steeled myself and thought of only one thing:
「I have to comfort her.」
My arms were faster than my thoughts. I immediately hugged Shizuka tightly.
"You may have damned yourself, but you will always be my hero, Shizuka. Whatever you do wouldn't change what I think of you."
I said in a very soft voice.
"You are kind, so kind that often you think you're just acting. Because kindness is your very nature, Shizuka...you care too deeply."
I continued, my eyes softening as I pulled back and saw Shizuka's black eyes staring into mine.
"B-But...I can no longer do genuine kindness..that's what was said by IXX.."
My mouth opened and closed. Who is IXX? Perhaps a youma? W-well, either way..
"That doesn't matter, Shizuka. The fact you are crying now? Even went as far as to tell me what has been bugging you?"
I smiled a bit, caressing Shizuka's face.
"You..you don't understand. I'm...an evil magical girl...I became the leader of the youmas, Miu..I really don't deserve any of this kindness—I'll do nothing but harm in the future."
Shizuka's black eyes stared at me, searching for a shred of anger, disappointment.
But I simply smiled at her warmly.
"Shizuka, you've already told me that you have powers not from Lya..I already accepted that fact. And I will say it again."
My blue eyes shimmered, showing nothing but hope and love.
"Our bond is deeper than blood, as promised. I will always stand by you, Shizuka. You saved me and it's only right that I stick by you."
I smiled warmly at Shizuka, and my eyes widened when I saw Shizuka smiling back at me.
"Thank you."
It was a simple word, yet it now held the same sweetness it once had.
I can't help but whisper deep in my heart:
「Welcome back, Shizuka!」
The hero I knew, now smiling warmly in front of me.
As expected, Shizuka's smile is the best.
But why are her pupils diamond-shaped, I wonder?
Probably doesn't matter.
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Chapter title:[The Orange Cat Remembers, What the Crow Forgets-Shizuka //Void Arc// End]