"WHAT?"
"Yes, Eri, I have to go." Kirill didn't even look up, just kept rubbing that damn cloth along his sword like he was polishing his excuses too. "You seem to forget I'm not just your brother. I'm a paladin. I have actual duties."
I sat on the bed with the fattest pout. "But what happened?"
"Monster activity near the borders is rising." He finally tilted his head toward me. "And it's not like you'll drop dead without me…"
Bro. I literally might. Kairan exists.
"Brother…" I pouted harder, milking it. "I'll miss you."
He snorted. "Right. You were practically celebrating when I had left for the academy. 'Oh, I'm the oldest now, no one can boss me around.' Don't pretend."
I rolled my eyes because… fair. As kids, Kirill was basically a "proper older brother heir" , and Meredia hated being told what to do. And when he left, she was happy that she would get to boss around now.
"Can't you refuse?" I tried one last time, even though I already knew the answer.
"No, Eri." His tone softened but stayed firm. "I'm a senior paladin, not a captain. I follow orders. I can't reject missions."
I took a long breath. "Then what were you doing here for months? Didn't you get missions earlier?"
"Every year, trainees finish their basics and enter the real Paladin Order," he explained. "I had to train them and prepare them for actual field work." His hand paused on the blade. "And… I came back because you… tried to…"
He didn't finish.
I nodded quietly.
"I asked for permission to stay with the family," he continued, voice gentler. "But you're stable and motivated now. You're not the same girl I returned to."
I smiled, small but real. "Thanks for staying."
He reached out and tapped my head like I was ten. "Stay like this while I'm gone. Don't make me come back worried again."
I nodded solemnly. I was truly upset with him leaving but I couldn't even do anything.
The next morning, Kirill left.
And even though his departure meant I didn't have to wake at dawn for training anymore, I still couldn't sleep in. The worry of Kairan showing up again kept me alert before sunrise. So I got up early anyway and trained under Fenric's supervision. He wasn't loud like Kirill, but he was just as strict… possibly difficult, because his silence made it impossible to understand him.
Kairan's sudden visits stopped as well. That should have eased my nerves, but instead it left me constantly waiting for the moment he would return. The uncertainty was its own kind of pressure.
And then, as if everything wasn't already irritating enough, my period started.
Which meant the reusable cotton cloths layered with thick, warm, and absolutely not comfortable wool. Every movement felt annoyingly heavy.
I miss pads from my world.
And of course, I couldn't even mention it aloud. Apparently, speaking about it was "improper," a "sacred matter for women." As if silence made the discomfort any easier to bear.
Lying in bed all day was boring, but I honestly had no choice. If I moved around too much, I'd end up snapping at someone over nothing.
I pressed the warm cloth firmer against my stomach, trying to soothe the cramps.
"Gosh. Kill me," I muttered, flopping onto my back, head hanging off the edge of the bed so I could stare at the balcony ceiling-up.
A knock sounded at the door.
"Ugh…"
I pulled myself upright. "Yes?"
"Lady, the Duchess wants you in her room," Romana called through the door.
I didn't bother asking why because that would require more energy than I currently possessed.
I got up, sluggishly, and walked to the door. When I opened it, Romana's ever-irritated expression greeted me like an unwanted morning bell.
Why do you hate the daughter of your own Duchess this much?
The thought nearly slipped out.
I swallowed the urge to roll my eyes and brushed past her without a word. She fell into step behind me, heels tapping too sharply against the floor for my cramp-ridden mood.
If she said even one snide thing, I was ready to bite someone.
When we reached the doors, Romana didn't even bother knocking gently... just two sharp taps like she was trying to dent the wood.
"Enter," my mother's voice floated out, soft and warm as always.
I stepped inside. Mother was seated on the sofa, a small mountain of papers scattered across the table. She looked… mildly murderous, which was never a good sign.
I walked up to her. "What are all these papers, Mother?"
"Come, sit." She didn't even look up, just scanned the sheet in her hand, then tossed it onto the floor like it had personally offended her.
I sat beside her and picked up one of the abandoned sheets. It held information about girls. Their age, family lineage, education, strengths. All neatly written, all clearly rejected.
"What is this?" I asked.
Mother plucked the paper from my hand, skimmed it once, and tossed it away too. "I interviewed all these girls to join your maid staff."
"Oh."
And judging by the size of the pile… she'd interviewed half the kingdom.
Dedicated woman, honestly.
I pressed my lips together. "So… have you decided?"
She nodded, but dissatisfaction pinched her expression. "I have found suitable maids, yes. But a proper lady-in-waiting? No. None of them are fit for the role."
Then she fully turned to me, took both my hands in hers. "You will spend the most time with her, Eri. I think you should choose."
Ugh.
I forced a polite smile. "Of course. I should choose. But how?"
"These are the girls I shortlisted," she said, pulling another stack from beside her. "I'll read their profiles to you."
She lifted the first page. "Erisha Green—"
And then it began.
Blah blah blah blah blah…
Her voice blended into the background. I leaned down and picked up another discarded page from the floor.
Hmm…Hmm… Evelisse Carter.
Daughter of Baron Rothan Carter and—
I froze.
That name… tugged at something in the back of my mind...from Meredia's memories. But not the memories from her childhood either. No… these were the ones from her life right before she died.
Evelisse Carter.
I pressed my fingers to my forehead, trying to coax the image into focus, but it stayed blurry. A face, a voice… something was there, just out of reach.
I glanced at Mother, still talking and s sorting through names like she was grading exams.
Quietly, I folded the paper and slipped it into my bodice, tucking it against my chest before she could notice.
Mother's voice cut off mid-sentence. "What are you doing?"
I straightened, schooling my expression. "Nothing. Please… continue."
She looked at me for a second longer, clearly suspicious, before returning to her stack.
I tried to listen, but my mind stayed fixed on that name. I felt a very uneasy feeling towards the girl... Which meant she could be important. Sitting here pretending to pay attention wouldn't help.
"Mother," I said gently, "I don't feel well right now. Can we continue this later?"
Her worry appeared instantly, and she set the papers aside. "Of course. Go rest."
I stood and nodded, giving her a small smile before leaving the room. Once outside, I walked quickly through the hallway and straight to my chambers.
I needed time alone.
I needed to understand who Evelisse Carter was and why Meredia's fading memories reacted so strongly to her name.
--------------
Outside the third wall of Valkathra, deep within the Arghanas Forest Temple grounds, the air was filled with damp soil and the sharp, metallic scent of monster blood.
Kirill sat on a fallen log inside his tent, wiping sweat from his forehead. He lifted his sword to check the blade and instantly gagged. Thick, dark blood clung to the steel like tar.
"Disgusting," he muttered, leaning away from it.
The tent flap rustled. Someone pushed it open.
Kirill glanced back and raised a brow. "Well, well. The great Crown Prince in the tent of a lowly paladin. That's new."
Kairan stepped inside, unfazed by the sarcasm. "How are you?"
Kirill snorted. "You ignored me earlier, and now you come asking how I am?"
Kairan didn't bother reacting. Instead, his gaze flicked to Kirill's torn sleeve. "You're injured."
Kirill looked down. A gash ran across his arm, crusted with dried blood. He shrugged like it was no more than a paper cut. "A scratch. The monster got lucky."
Kairan's eyes narrowed, the faintest crease forming between his brows. "You should get it treated. This forest isn't kind to careless people."
"Yeah, yeah," Kirill waved him off. "Healers are drowning in work anyway."
He leaned back, eyeing Kairan with mild suspicion. "So? You didn't walk all this way just to nag me about bandages. What is it?"
Kairan shifted his gaze away. "Can't I simply visit my friend?"
Kirill blinked dramatically. "Friend? That's a big word coming from you."
Kairan rolled his eyes. "Believe it or not."
Kirill chuckled. "Fine, I'll believe you. Sit."
Kairan took the space beside him.
Kirill exhaled sharply. "How did monster numbers spike like this all of a sudden?"
"I don't know," Kairan replied. "But the surge isn't slowing. If anything, it's spreading."
Kirill rubbed a hand over his face. "Great. I want to go home. Ever since Meredia got hurt, I've been on edge being away from the estate."
Kairan nodded slightly. "I see. How is she?"
"She is fine for now," Kirill said quietly, "but sometimes I worry she might… hurt herself again. Two attempts are no small matter."
His brows were drawn tight with genuine fear. He didn't know the truth. He didn't know the second incident wasn't an attempt at all, but Kairan threatening her.
And Kairan, hearing it, didn't flinch.
He simply nodded once, as if the topic were an administrative detail.
Kirill exhaled and patted his own thigh. "Anyway… she's been more cheerful lately. And she's suddenly interested in learning swordsmanship too."
Kairan turned to him with a faint frown. "Is that so? That is… unexpected."
"Yes," Kirill said with a small laugh. "But I think I'll end up disappointing her this time. I'll be sent on missions continuously now, and I doubt I'll have the time to train her."
He sighed and stared at the ground, worry settling back into his shoulders.
Kairan, however, looked thoughtful , as if her training meant something entirely different to him than it did to Kirill.